Are you trapped in a narcissistic relationship unable to walk away? Are you tired of the toxic behavior and manipulative tactics that make you feel miserable? If you have had enough and want to know how to outplay a narcissist, then this one’s for you!
The unholy narcissistic trap
Whether you were raised by a narcissist, in a relationship with one or work for a narcissistic boss, it can be difficult to tolerate them on day-today basis. In fact, you may even be downright traumatized after going through years of mental and emotional abuse. Narcissists love to exploit emotions. So the more empathic, compassionate, responsible you are, the more abusive your narcissist will be. It is your willingness to help and rescue them that keeps attracting them to you. Dr. Athena Staik Ph.D. explains “Expressing vulnerable emotions is vital to life balance and peace of mind, but do so only with safe others – never a narcissist. A narcissist literally uses this information to get into your mind, instilling fear to steal your sense of self, by crippling your brain’s capacity to clearly think.”
The manipulation and abuse, which can go on for years, has probably destroyed your self-esteem, sense of self-worth and to some extent, even your bank balance. You have tried to reason with them, argue with them, accept their demands and went no contact too. But nothing has worked. A narcissist will always find their way back into your life and make you their puppet despite your best efforts to avoid them. So what can you do? How can make life with a narcissist more tolerable? How can you start your healing journey? How can you gain back control of your life? How can you give them a taste of their own medicine? The answer is simple actually – you manipulate the manipulator. When you learn how to outplay a narcissist, you can beat them at their own game.
Read also: How to Spot a Narcissist
Outsmart to outplay a narcissist
Although each of us are capable of change and growth, it is rare with a narcissist. Yes, they are capable of being understanding and showing emotions at times, but these are few and far between. You can never expect permanent growth on an emotional level from a narcissist. As they see themselves as “perfect”, you can never rescue or change them. Harvard Business Review explains “Making matters worse, narcissists refuse to acknowledge that they have a problem.” The truth is, we can never change someone until and unless they want to change themselves. The harder you try and the more desperate you become to change them, the more power your narcissist will have over you. That’s not how to outplay a narcissist. You can only control your own self.
Narcissists are intelligent, analytical and calculating beings. They are detached from emotions, empathy and remorse which keeps them from gaining personal awareness. So how can these manipulative strategies against a narcissist help you? These tactics are meant to make you WIN and NOT to make them lose. It is only by focusing on your well being and healing, you can win against them. It’s not about revenge. It’s about gaining back control of your life and preparing to leave the vicious narcissistic trap for good.
Psychotherapist and author Erin Leonard, Ph.D. writes “A person should never stoop to unscrupulous tactics. Yet utilizing the power he or she possesses which the narcissist may lack is the key. This power includes the capacity for deep thought and feeling.” What was once your weakness can now become your greatest strength – your empathy, conscientiousness, accountability, introspection, deep insight & remorse. This makes you a real person with emotions capable of growth. This can help you think and act in ways your narcissist is incapable of. “Outsmarting a narcissist is the best defense,” adds Erin.
How to outplay a narcissist
These tactics to manipulate a narcissist should be used only if these are beneficial for you and when you feel secure and comfortable using them. These steps are not meant to emotionally hurt or ruin their reputation. This is simply about gaining back your personal power. So let’s cut to the chase and check out how to outplay a narcissist, manipulate and beat them in their own game.