The 5 Love Languages In A Toxic Relationship


, ,
The Five Love Languages In A Toxic Relationship

While each one of us has a unique way of experiencing and expressing love. There are five love languages in a toxic relationship according to Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate.

They are:

• Receiving gifts
• Quality time
• Physical touch
• Acts of service 
• Words of affirmation

Some people’s way of expressing love is by doing acts of service for their partner or helping around with chores. Some people like to express love through verbal affirmation. Some people express love by physical gestures while some people express love by spending quality time with their partner.

People generally think that their partner has the same love language as them and they show love the same way they would like to receive it.

Related: The Pain of Loving Someone Who Is Toxic for You

However, this dynamic can turn really messy in the case of an Empaths – Narcissist relationship.

When an Empath meets a Narcissist for the first time, they can be misguided to take a Narcissist as an Empath. They can mistake the sweet nothings and sweet gestures that form a part of the Love Bombing technique of a Narcissist for genuine love and care.

Therefore, it is very important that Empaths learn the real love language of themselves and a narcissist so that they can avoid this toxic relationship dynamic.

The five love languages in a toxic relationship between Empath and Narcissist are as follows.

The 5 Love Languages In A Toxic Relationship

1) Words of affirmation

When Narcissists are using words of affirmation to express love, their intention behind that is a self-serving motive whereas empaths use words of affirmation to express their genuine love and care.

Narcissists use a technique known as “Love Bombing” wherein they shower their partner with unlimited praises and words of affection. They usually employ this technique at the beginning of a relationship to seduce their partner or when there is a fight or a breakdown to hook them back into the relationship.

While these words may look very real as Narcissists have mastered the art of saying all the right things but an empath has to be really careful to see if their words align with their actions or not.

Just because Empaths are honest in their communication and talk to their partner with kindness and respect, they should not make the mistake of thinking that everyone thinks, feels, and acts like them.

A narcissist can be using seductive words to only benefit himself without having any real concern or love for the other person and he can turn abusive at the drop of a hat if his needs are not being met.

Love languages in a toxic relationship
Love Languages In A Toxic Relationship – Words Of Affirmation Can Be Used As A Way Of Manipulating You

2) Quality time

This is one of the most insidious love languages in a toxic relationship. 

Undivided attention and focus are something that we all want in a relationship to feel fulfilled.

However, a Narcissist is all about himself so he is incapable of giving undivided attention or quality time to anyone. His spotlight is always on himself.

He might, on the other hand, try to alienate you from your friends and family members by spending the majority of his time with you but do not mistake this tactic for love.

He is spending the majority of his time with you to fulfill his own needs and agenda and wants to cut you off from your support system so that if things get sour, you have nowhere to go and you return back to him.

Whereas an Empath shows up authentically and is looking for a heart-based connection and therefore gives undivided attention to their partner, they will not find this deep connection with a Narcissist because he is really not capable of thinking about anything apart from himself. And that in a nutshell is a toxic relationship between an empath and a narcissist.

So, while quality time is high on Empaths’ love language list, it does not feature in a Narcissist’s love language list.

Related: 10 Things A Narcissist Thinks All Empaths Owe Them: The Empath-Narcissist Dynamic

3) Receiving gifts

Narcissists are superficial and their preferred language of love is giving and receiving expensive gifts. They need external things to enhance their sense of self so they spend lavishly on flashy cars or gadgets. They also buy expensive gifts for their partners when they are in the “Love Bombing” stage.

Empaths are not at all materialistic. They don’t really get carried away by flashy items, their preferred gifts would be well-thought-of, meaningful, handmade gifts or gifts of sentimental value.

Sooner or later, the Empaths would see through the Love Bombing phase of a Narcissist because they cannot feel fulfilled or loved with only gifts or hollow words of affirmation for long.

4) Acts of service

Narcissists think that the whole world revolves around them and they feel highly entitled to everything and think everyone should serve their needs.

They not only expect their partner to do the routine chores for them like cooking, laundry, etc but also expect them to fulfill their every whim and fancy.

Empaths have very poor boundaries around giving as they don’t like confrontations or saying no and end up being the ones who do all the work in the relationship. In the process, they end up feeling deeply unloved and uncared for as they exhaust themselves in taking care of their partner without getting any appreciation or thoughtful acts of service in return.

This dynamic serves Narcissists really well as they feed off the energy of an Empath but it totally exhausts an Empath and causes them to feel insecure or unworthy.

Love languages in a toxic relationship
Toxic Relationship Between An Empath And A Narcissist

5) Physical touch

Narcissists operate in extremes as far as physical touch is concerned. They want their physical needs to be met at all times but they will withhold physical affection from their partner as a way to torment them for a perceived hurt or upset that happened long ago.

Empaths need genuine love and physical affection and physical gestures are their preferred love language but a Narcissist would withhold his love from them when they require it the most or when they are at their most vulnerable instead of trying to comfort them or soothe them.

Empaths think that just because they genuinely care and love people, people would do the same for them but that is their biggest mistake especially when they expect genuine love and care from people suffering from personality disorders like Narcissists.

Empaths are highly sensitive people and often put the needs of others before them and forget to take care of their own physical, mental, and emotional needs.

Related: The Toxic Attraction Between An Empath And A Narcissist

This often leads to an Empath’s burnout. Therefore it is very important for them to learn to create strong boundaries around giving and choose their partners carefully and not fall into the toxic Empath Narcissist relationship dynamic.

These are 5 love languages in a toxic relationship between an empath and a narcissist.

Please share this article with anyone who you may think will find it valuable and helpful.

Have you ever been on the other side of love languages in a toxic relationship? Let us know your thoughts in the comments down below!

Love In The Shadows: The 5 Love Languages In A Toxic Relationship
Love In The Shadows: The 5 Love Languages In A Toxic Relationship And A Relationship Between An Empath And A Narcissist
Love In The Shadows: The 5 Love Languages In A Toxic Relationship pin
Relationship Between An Empath And A Narcissist: The 5 Love Languages In A Toxic Relationship
5 love languages in a toxic relationship
The 5 Love Languages In A Toxic Relationship

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Up Next

Zodiac Signs That Don’t Get Along: 3 Pairings That Always Clash With Each Other

Zodiac Signs That Don't Get Along: Challenging Pairs

Some pairings are naturally peaceful in relationships, while others clash like oil and water. Let’s explore zodiac signs that don’t get along with each other and struggle to find common ground.

From stubborn mindsets, to constantly picking fights, these mismatched duos reveal why some signs just don’t see eye to eye.

So, if you find your relationship challenging, learn how astrology can help you understand your partner better.

Let’s explore the zodiac signs that can’t get along and understand why.

Up Next

11 Hidden Signs Of A Jealous Mother In Law You Can’t Overlook

Jealous Mother In Law Signs To Recognize

A jealous mother in law can turn even the best relationships into a circus. Her little digs and comparisons are enough to make you feel like you’re walking on eggshells. But if you want to handle her, the first step is to understand why she’s acting that way.

Ever felt like your MIL is always trying to get her son’s attention whenever you’re around? Or noticed that she has a talent for undermining your choices and decisions? These subtle traits can be so hard to ignore, but understanding them can be the first step

Most mother-in-laws tend to act a certain way. If you recognize the signs, you can sail through this crazy situation with grace and keep the peace.

Up Next

5 Relationship Blind Spots: Are You Missing These Warning Signs?

Warning Relationship Blind Spots Signs To Watch Out For!

Do you know what a “blind spot” in driving is? It occurs when your vision gets blocked, and that can cause accidents. Similarly, relationship blind spots, cloud our judgment and influence how we interact with people or make decisions.

Blind spots can be damaging to relationships and can destroy your peace of mind, so learn to identify them!

According to relationship blind spots psychology…

These relationship blind spots refer to those parts of us or of our relationships that we cannot see clearly. They distort our

Up Next

Romantic Manipulation: 10 Subtle Phrases To Watch Out For

Romantic Manipulation: Sneaky Phrases That Signal Trouble

Romantic manipulation is sneaky, and it can creep into a relationships without either person fully realizing it. We have all heard those phrases that sound sweet or caring but leaves a bitter aftertaste, making us second-guess our feelings.

Manipulative partners often have a way with words, twisting them to control or belittle. So, are you curious to know the signs of romantic manipulation, and the things manipulative partners say?

Whether you’re navigating your own love life, or just looking out for your friends, this article will help you spot the subtle signs of emotional trickery. So, are you ready to dive in?


Up Next

7 Troubling Characteristics Of A Love Addict You Should Know

Troubling Characteristics Of A Love Addict You Should Know

If you are someone who always feel scared that your relationship will fail and the person you love will abandon you, then you have come to the right place. This article is going to talk about love addiction, the characteristics of a love addict and strategies for overcoming love addiction.

Are you constantly afraid that you’re going to lose your relationship? In today’s Best Day Blog article, I will help you by sharing seven characteristics of a person who lives in that constant fear of loss and the seven solutions to stop feeling so fearful.

These characteristics have been coined many different things: relationship insecurity and anxious attachment style. Clinically, this person would be called a love addict – don’t worry

Up Next

Consequences Of Emotionally Immature Parents: 7 Behaviors That Breed Self-Hate In Children

Toxic Things Emotionally Immature Parents Do To Their Kid

What happens when grown-ups who are expected to direct children through life, have difficulty with their own feelings? Children don’t hate their parents—they start hating themselves. That’s why we will learn about emotionally immature parents and the toxic things parents say.

This is crucial for healing and building healthier family relationships. So let’s explore it.

“Emotionally Immature Parents”: What Does It Mean?

Up Next

8 Major Reasons You’re Attracted to Narcissists and How to Break the Cycle

Attracted to Narcissists? Here Are Revealing Reasons Why

How many time have you found yourself irresistibly drawn to someone who seemed perfect at first but turned out to be a self-absorbed narcissist? Well, you’re not alone. There are a surprising number of us who keep getting pulled into the orbit of these charismatic, but toxic individuals. But why are we attracted to narcissists?

Whether it’s their initial charm, their confidence, or something deeper within you, the reasons you are attracted to narcissists are as fascinating, as they are frustrating.

Today, we are going to answer the age-old question “why do I attract narcissists?”, find out more about why this keeps on happening and also talk about how to stop attracting narcissists.