7 Troubling Characteristics Of A Love Addict You Should Know


, ,
Troubling Characteristics Of A Love Addict You Should Know

If you are someone who always feel scared that your relationship will fail and the person you love will abandon you, then you have come to the right place. This article is going to talk about love addiction, the characteristics of a love addict and strategies for overcoming love addiction.

Are you constantly afraid that you’re going to lose your relationship? In today’s Best Day Blog article, I will help you by sharing seven characteristics of a person who lives in that constant fear of loss and the seven solutions to stop feeling so fearful.

These characteristics have been coined many different things: relationship insecurity and anxious attachment style. Clinically, this person would be called a love addict – don’t worry about the threatening name.

If you have a favorite food, drink, or anything else, they have the same addictive mechanisms. Don’t shame yourself.

A big reason we all struggle is our inability to call things what they are. Instead, recognize that living in truth and reality are requirements for creating a healthy relationship.

Related: Is Love Addiction Real? 4 Types of Love Addicts

What are the seven characteristics of a love addict?

1. Overthinking.

This occurs when we replay conversations, look at texts, and decipher every little nuance. The critical distinction is that the thoughts are obsessive and always about figuring out the other person.

Characteristics of a love addict
7 Troubling Characteristics Of A Love Addict You Should Know

2. Catastrophe thinking.

This is often triggered when there is a communication gap. Even the slightest pause in texting or talking triggers the love addict to project fear that the relationship is over, their partner is angry with them, or something is wrong.

3. Needing constant reassurance.

I struggled with this – I learned it from my mother. It was common for our family to be at dinner talking about politics or some other topic, and my mom would suddenly blurt out, “How do I look in this dress?

4. Bringing the past into the current relationship.

Love addicts’ internal fear creates an obsessive need to keep themselves safe. One of the ways they attempt to stay safe is by comparing the past to the present.

For instance, you might constantly compare things your current boyfriend does to what your last boyfriend did. Unfortunately, this attempt to avoid pain makes it impossible to be present, and being so hypervigilant can lead to the end of the relationship.

5. Give too much time, attention, and power to the other person.

The love addicts’ desperate need to avoid abandonment creates a disempowering abandonment of themselves. They do this by over-emphasizing their partner’s strengths and elevating them to fantasy.

The addict makes their partner’s life more valuable than their own. They give up their interests, space, and desires. There is far too much attention on their partner and not enough on themselves. They effectively make them their higher power.

6. Snooping.

Love addicts will feel the need and even demand to check their partner’s phone or email and look at their partner’s social media too much.

They will want to keep tabs on who they are with and where their partner is going. In addition, they are on constant alert for the possibility that they are being replaced.

7. The inability to feel whole or happy outside of a relationship.

Love addicts will feel empty, sad, and depressed if alone and often enter new relationships, even destructive ones, to avoid being alone.

Related: 8 Things Love Addicts Do To Control Their Partner From Leaving Them

What are seven solutions for love addiction?

1. Face our self-deception and acknowledge the truth.

The love addict needs to get into reality that their expectations are addictive. Our desire for unlimited positive regard and our demand for so much time and attention from the other person is excessive.

We have to recognize that how we define love is distorted, and we have recovery work to do ourselves.

2. Do the three “Gets.”

The following three steps come from Al-anon and are called the three “gets.’ Step one is to get off their back.

Our constant wondering what they’re doing, our need for continuous attention, overthinking all of their thoughts and actions, and snooping is evidence that we are “on their back” and paying too much attention to their life and not our own.

Characteristics of a love addict
7 Troubling Characteristics Of A Love Addict You Should Know

3. Get out of their way.

The addict needs to stop trying to dictate or correct how their partner lives their life. Let them be who they want to be.

Don’t try to change them or get them to meet our needs. They’re okay the way they are. It’s not our place to critique, judge, and tell them who to be.

4. Get on with your own life.

Instead of putting all your time and attention into them, put it into yourself! Learn to meet your needs yourself, get back to living your own life, and pursue the hobbies, friendships, and interests you gave up when the relationship began.

5. Self-esteem work.

For the love addict, their internal sense of security now is based on their partner or the object of their pursuit. Therefore, they must start developing the belief that they have inherent value at all times and not only when they are in a relationship.

6. Develop boundaries.

Addicts struggle to contain how much they share about themselves. So here is a suggestion. I want you to think of gas pedals. If your partner shares a little bit, join them, going about 8-10 MPH. Maybe try to advance to 12-13 MPH, but if they back off, you back off.

Here’s how you know when you’re doing this right: you should feel like you’re cold, mean, selfish, and disinterested. You should feel uncomfortable because you’re used to the gas pedal being pushed to the floor.

When you feel this new discomfort, you’ll know you’re no longer acting addictively or anxious. Now you’re behaving moderately. You’ll get used to it in no time, and things will improve.

7. Work with an expert.

Childhood abandonment created the addiction. Therefore, working with a specialist is necessary to overcome it.

I encourage you to pick up Pia Mellody’s Facing Love Addiction and Facing Codependence to learn about all of this. Beverly Engle’s The Emotionally Abusive Relationship is also great.

The addict must get into reality about how abandoned they were in childhood. Those three books are central to those who suffer from love addiction.

Related: 6 Signs of Relationship Addiction

Remember, the person struggling with love addiction is not bad or weak. They are in pain and doing their best not to feel that pain. Addictively pursuing someone is the only way they currently know how to alleviate that pain.

Sadly, if left untreated, it creates more of the pain they desperately try to avoid. But there is hope. If we develop a plan to heal the underlying pain, we can find the authentic love we crave and deserve.

Additional solutions:

Written By Kenny Weiss
Originally Appeared On Kenny Weiss
love addict
7 Troubling Characteristics Of A Love Addict You Should Know

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Up Next

The Pebbling Love Language: Inspired By Penguins To Transform Relationships

What Is Pebbling Love language? Tips To Spark Love

For some people love doesn’t mean big actions and expensive presents, but rather small things matter the most to them. So here’s pebbling love language – inspired by penguins. Let’s find out if you have this language of love without even knowing it.

What Is Pebbling Love language?

To attract a partner, male Gentoo penguins offer female penguins little stones or pebbles, to help build their nests.

Although humans don’t exchange rocks as a token of love, but the idea of penguin pebbling love language operates on the same basic principle of making someo

Up Next

Can TikTok’s ‘Meeting Someone Twice Theory’ Really Lead To Love?

Meeting Someone Twice Theory: Best Examples

Has a person ever crossed your path and then reappeared at another point in your life, causing you to feel like you have some kind of unexplainable bond with them? According to the newest idea from TikTok, Meeting Someone Twice Theory – is a meaningful thought that says love often needs a second chance.

So let’s learn how the universe might be making these things happen on purpose.

What Is The Meeting Someone Twice Theory?

You meet someone in passing at a coffee shop, party or on the street. You exchange fleeting pleasantries, maybe share a laugh or a conversation, and then life goes on as usual.

But then, weeks or months or years later, you cross paths again and th

Up Next

7 Common Trauma Beliefs Preventing You From Finding Love

Common Trauma Beliefs Preventing You From Finding Love

Are you still single, even after putting in a lot of effort to find love? The answer might lie in your trauma beliefs. Yes, you heard me right. Trauma beliefs are the deep-seated, often subconscious notions formed from past painful experiences that shape how you see yourself and relationships, in general.

Beliefs caused by trauma can act as invisible barriers, keeping you from finding and maintaining love. If you are tired of feeling stuck in the same old patterns, it’s time to dig into these 7 trauma beliefs that might be sabotaging your love life.

So, are you ready to know all the ways trauma is keeping you single? Come on, let’s find out together.


Up Next

8 Clear Signs Someone Cares About You (Even If They Don’t Always Express It)

Unmistakable Signs Someone Cares About You

Are you confused about whether they genuinely care about you? Well, this article will take you through 8 unmistakable signs someone cares about you deeply, even though they do not always express it.

There is an ancient saying that actions speak louder than words. An expression like that tends to stick around for a reason, and this one does make a lot of sense. In our increasingly chaotic and noisy world, it’s easy to forget that some people struggle to verbalize their feelings. But remember, still waters run deep.

Just because someone struggles to express their feelings in words doesn’t mean they don’t care about you. Actually, the real clues are buried within their actions. Look out for these telltale signs to know if someone cares about you genuinely:

Up Next

Is Flirting Considered Cheating? Check If You Have Crossed The Lines

signs your flirtatious behavior has ventured into the territory of cheating

When it comes to relationships, the boundaries of acceptable behavior can often be a gray area, especially in interactions with others. One particularly contentious topic is flirting. But is flirting considered cheating in a relationship? The answer is subjective.

For some, playful banter and coy smiles are harmless fun, a way to socialize. For others, those same gestures are a breach of trust, skirting the line of infidelity.

Up Next

15+ Quotes From “Bridgerton” That Depict Obsessive Yearning

Best Bridgerton Quotes About Love And Romance

If you like romances and things from the Regency era, these Bridgerton quotes show how obsession can be a form of longing. This Netflix series features several love stories in which the characters experience intense desire and emotions.

Through eloquent dialogues and passionate interactions, “Bridgerton” powerfully reveals the aspirations that motivate its characters.

The series effectively frames the relationship between Daphne and Simon as an embodiment of smouldering attraction while at the same time conveying other major figures’ secretly yearning for each other.

Here are some Bridgerton quotes about love that perfectly sum up obsessive yearning.<

Up Next

What Is Storge Love And How It Shapes Our Deepest Connections

What Is Storge Love: How It Shapes Our Deepest Connections

Love is the closest thing to magic. While love can often be conditional, unconditional love can make us do the craziest things and also completely transform us for better or worse. However, there is a unique and often overlooked form of affection known as storge love. But what is storge love?

Imagine a love that blossoms within the comforting walls of familiarity, nurturing bonds that withstand the test of time. A love that is born, not from passion or desire, but from a deep sense of connection and shared experiences. This is the essence of storge love that thrives within the realm of family relationships. 

So today, let us understand what is storge love, explore the characteristics of storge love and shed light on the psychological perspectives on storge love.