What Does An Introvert’s Silence Speak?

What Does An Introvert’s Silence Speak?

An Introvert’s Silence

I have often wondered, why we people misunderstand each other, even when we are speaking a coherent language which is comprehensible on both ends? It has been a never-ending question in my mind. 

When we use verbal language to speak, we overlook how much our bodies are subconsciously speaking for us. While we can be deceitful through our words, our body language, tone of voice, facial expressions, postures and gestures will always reflect the truth.

Wait. How can we forget silence – the most powerful tool of communication?

If used at the right space, at the right moment, and for the right span, silence speaks volumes. 

An Introvert’s Silence

Coming to introverts like me, silence has been a saviour. We already have a bad reputation of being quiet and we cannot do without silence, like you guys cannot do without your best friend. We take refuge in silence – angry? We go silent. Contemplating? We go silent. We want to ignore you? We submerge ourselves in silence. 

Introverts are often misunderstood (not you people’s fault. I totally get this.) My friends and other acquaintances have this constant complain about why I’m always giving them silent treatment (obviously, gives my well-coveted silence a bad name!). But most of the time I am not stonewalling them, I am simply lacking words and hence my silence. 

Good news for my fellow introverts! In this article I will try to interpret the meaning of my ( as well as, numerous other hopelessly-struggling-to-socialize introverts’) silence so that others don’t have to keep speculating what storm is about to come.


What Does An Introvert’s Silence Speak?

1. “I don’t want to face you.” 

i am a minimalist
What Does An Introvert’s Silence Speak?

This one is big for introverts. This simply means we are not in the mood to start another ‘who did what’ conversation with you, or maybe because we missed your 23rd call and have run out of excuses for not answering it. Whatever be the reason, we don’t want to confront you. It simply sets us in a repeating circle of draining energy and pushes us to retreat into more silence 

So, If you see me shrouded in dead silence when you are around, looking deeply focused on thoughts, you need to exit my space. Because right then, the nothingness in front of me is more interesting than you.



2. “I am dying to make you mine..” 


..but I feel too awkward to admit that.” 

Most often introverts are silent around someone they genuinely like. It’s their way of communicating how they are imbibing the essence of the other person’s presence through the tranquilizing effect of silence. 

Complicated? Not much.

I know it’s a bit weird but I completely go silent before the person I am interested in while my mind is exploding with imaginary conversations.  


3. “Ummmmmm…….” contemplating 

What Does An Introvert’s Silence Speak?
What Does An Introvert’s Silence Speak?

This one is not exclusive to introverts. Every single person out there is quiet when in a contemplative mood. Excuse us. We are majorly in this state. We love to reflect deeply on a subject before we express anything through words.

Also, attentively observing our own train of thought lets us organize our words before we blurt them out.

Smart? You bet! 


4. “I am watching you.” 

Observation – one of my favorite pastimes. Introverts love spending time observing others and getting to scan them beyond their superficial self. They not only note the way you move, stand; the way your lips move, your eyelashes flutter, your hair strands fall across your face but also those subtle, blink-and-you-miss-it expressions on your face, the depth of your eyes.

No. We are not cheap stalkers. We are engaging ourselves in the astounding art of behavior study! We are connecting to you in silence. 


5. “I really don’t like you.”

I will completely deny your existence ( please don’t challenge an introvert in this silent treatment game, you will regret!) if I do not like you. I won’t even return your smile (either way I won’t) or reply to you with ‘hmm..huh..oh.” if I lack interest in you. 

INTJ Relationships & Conflicts: 5 Ways To Deal With An INTJ

INTJ Relationships & Conflicts: 5 Ways To Deal With An INTJ

Being in a relationship with someone who has an INTJ personality can be rather difficult. They are curious beings who love to question everything and view conflict as an opportunity to learn. But this can make them seem like the devil to people who love them.

Have you ever had a family member who is extremely smart, but not the greatest at emotionally connecting with you?

Or do you have a friend that questions everything you do and loves to ask the question “why?”

Or maybe you have a very intelligent boss who is capable of solving complicated problems, but he never listens to any of your good ideas?

Chances are that you are in a relationship with someone in the INTJ Meyers-Brigg personality.

Being in an INTJ relationship can be quite challenging so here’s the breakdown on everything you need to know about them and how to best connect with them.

For the purposes of this article, I will be personifying the INTJ personality and using it as a noun.


What is an INTJ?

INTJ’s are one of the rarest personality types and form only 2% of the population. Here is a brief overview of the characteristics:

(I)ntroversion – They focus their attention inward and get their energy from having time alone
i(N)tuition– They rely on the information they get from within themselves. As a result, they tend to focus more on ideas and concepts rather than facts and details.
(T)hinking – They prefer to make their decisions based on their own logical reasoning and analysis rather than their own emotions.
(J)udgement – They orient themselves to the external world through planning and organization rather than going with the flow and having sponinaeity.


What are INTJs like?

INTJs are natural-born leaders, but they don’t rush to take charge of situations unless they feel it’s absolutely necessary. They are able to think quick on their feet and come up with effective solutions when things are not going well.

They are intensely curious and have an engineering type mind where they always have a need to comprehend how things work.

More importantly, the purpose of their need to understand things actually isn’t to satisfy their curiosity, but it’s more to figure out how to apply that knowledge in an innovative manner to effectively create improvement.

Their high level of competency enables them to do this very effective and it doesn’t take them long to understand new ideas.

Their brains operate like they are constantly playing chess where they are always analyzing situations and planning strategies and tactics to place themselves in the best situations. This is why they have the innate capability to outsmart others the most compared to any other personality type.


The benefits of being in a relationship with an INTJ

As you can imagine, being in an INTJ relationship can have quite a few amazing perks:

1. They are amazing problem solvers.

INTJs invest themselves heavily in their rational thought, logic, and analysis of cause and effect. This, in turn, enables them to objectively assess challenges to find the root cause of an issue and come up with the best solutions.

You’ve probably noticed that when you have a complex problem, you’ve been trying to figure out for a while, an INTJ sometimes can solve that problem in a matter of minutes.


2. They create the best-case scenarios.

INTJs excellent critical thinking skills combined with their love for innovation gives them the amazing ability to improve existing systems and processes.

This is why they hate following traditions and procedures without understanding the purpose and value of them.

They have a need to understand why things are done the way they are so they can evaluate if that’s the best way to do it.

This trait can prove to be extremely helpful when you are trying to figure out things like how to find good deals, plan trips or choose the best product to buy.


3. They are extremely reliable.

Because of their amazing problem-solving skills that are supplemented with implementation, they prove to be extremely reliable.

Their determination to always get to the bottom of things ensure that they implement the best solutions possible.

6 Reasons Why Introverts Are Incredibly Attractive People

Why Introverts Are So Damn Attractive!!

6 Reasons Why Introverts Are So Damn Attractive.

I always had something special for those quiet ones. There is something so alluring and attractive about introverts. I could not put a hand to what it actually was that always drew me to their loud silence. 

Then I realized that it was their disposition. The way they carry themselves, totally self-confident, self-sufficient. On the contrary, attention seekers are a huge turn off for me. 

The good part is that I am also an introvert and hence I find it easier to open up and connect to another introvert. 

In retrospection, I came up with these 6 reasons why I always found introversion a huge turn-on.

Here are 6 Reasons Why Introverts Are So Damn Attractive:

Why Introverts Are So Damn Attractive!!

1. Their loyalty

Introverts are comparatively more self-dependent than most other people you will come across. They never entertain meaningless connections. People who have been lucky enough to pass the threshold of their ‘closely-knit group’, you will never come across a person more loyal than them. They can even die for you, once you have earned their trust.

Even studies show that extroverts get more frequently laid than introverts. As they do not have to expend their energy on random socialization, they can invest their energy on people who really matter. If you are in a relationship with an introvert, they will never cheat on you as their connections will seldom be superficial enough to end in the bedroom. Stay rest assured. (Oh! They might cheat on you with themselves, sorry!) 


2. Their composure

Introverts process everything at a slow pace. And for good. Unlike what most people do, react, introverts will rarely react. They respond. 

There’s nothing so irresistible than the way, silence exudes out of each pore of their contemplative demeanor. 

Boy! The composure they have is amazing. 


3. They are active listeners

Conversations with introverts will never feel superficial. It is always two-way communication. They will display equal interest in listening to you and responding accordingly. Introverts do not just listen, they understand. 

They will often just read your body language, your posture and understand even those unspoken words. In a world that cannot stop speaking, an introvert is an avid listener. 


4. They think before speaking

Introverts are not the type who would randomly blurt out from their lips. Psychologist Laurie Helgoe also agrees to it. She writes, “Introverts like to think before responding—many prefer to think out what they want to say in advance—and seek facts before expressing opinions.”

There is also a body of research that shows women prefer men who use shorter words and talk less to be the most attractive. After all, the girls too have the need to be heard. 

People who think before speaking automatically scores high on sex appeal as their words do not smell foul. 


5. They delay gratification

Winning over an introvert’s heart is not easy-peasy! It doesn’t mean that they intentionally play ‘hard-to-get’. They simply love to open up at their own pace. Too much nagging and probing into their bubbling mind is never going to help. 

This will only backfire.

People who have introverted personalities gradually unfold, layer by layer. You do not get enough of them, all at once. They are like a prize you win for keeping up the patience. As they slowly unravel themselves, you drown deeper and deeper into the enigma they shroud themselves in. This quality makes an introvert damn attractive.

And why would you not wait for such a pleasure? 

6. They are aware of their superpowers and use them efficiently 

Introverts might be losing out on all the goodies at the workplace, but they are scoring high on achievements. According to a study published in Harvard Business Review, a Chicago-based consultancy firm, spent 10 years, analyzing the personalities of 2,000 CEOs to reach the conclusion that the majority of the successful ones were introverts. 

Introverts use introspection to get a glimpse at their potentials and innovative ideas. Not to forget that one research at Harvard University concluded that introverts have thicker gray matter in the prefrontal cortices of their brains compared to extroverts. This makes them a better decision-maker and less impulsive about implementing their ideas. The probability of failure is greatly reduced when one weighs the pros and cons of a decision more logically. 

9 Things An Introvert Secretly Wants An Extrovert To Know But Will Never Tell

9 Things An Introvert Secretly Wants An Extrovert To Know But Will Never Tell

Things An Introvert Secretly Wants An Extrovert To Know But Will Never Tell

The concept of extroverts and introverts is highly talked of. Thanks to the internet for making this concept viral. Now most of us identify ourselves as either an extrovert or an introvert.

Extroverts are more easy-going, people-loving individuals and hence, most of us find extroversion as quality to recon with while introverts are often tagged as ‘weird’ ‘snob’ and ‘nerd’. 

Surprisingly, no individual can distinctly be compartmentalised into the extreme ends of the introversion-extroversion spectrum. Every one of us has some of the traits of both introverts and extroverts.

Just because extroverts are more popular and dominant personality trait this does not mean being an introvert is unacceptable. The only persistent problem is that of understanding each other.

Introverts are at a greater risk of being misunderstood pertaining to the fact that they have limited ability to demonstrate their thoughts as uninhibitedly as extroverts.

Knowing these few things that an introvert will never tell you about, will only help foster a healthy exchange of information with them and understanding them well. Having differences is not a hurdle in a bond, knowing how to respect it is.

So, what are the things an introvert wants the extroverts to know?

9 Things An Introvert Secretly Wants An Extrovert To Know

1. We don’t want to join the party you invited us to.

Sorry. But we hate going to parties. Mostly because of two reasons, the need to unnecessarily socialize with people, even if they are absolute strangers and also unnecessary noise. These two will not make us feel any better.

Parties are only bearable to us for the delicious food we get to eat. But we detest it for the sheer amount of people we get to meet all at once!


2. We don’t want to share our personal details in front of a group of people. 

This is an absolute nightmare for us! Do you want to know something personal about us? Please follow these steps:

First, gain our trust and sneak in our inner circle of friends. 

Secondly, have the patience to create that comfortable space for us to open up.

Thirdly, meet me alone.

Talking about our last year’s exciting trip in front of a crowd is as difficult as it is for you to keep quiet about your last stage performance.

Our personal life’s a very treasured part of us. We, Introverts do not want to share it with random people.


3. We don’t want you to interrupt us.

Introverts are deep thinkers and need substantial time to process information. No. That doesn’t make us “slow-witted” beings. Thinking is just our most favorite hobby.

And when we are replaying a scene in our mind or are engrossed in our imaginary world, we would like not to be disturbed. We want to be left by ourselves. That helps us to focus on one out of the number of rushing thoughts in our minds.


5 Keys To Understanding And Loving An Introverted Man

5 Keys to Understanding and Loving An Introverted Man

These are 5 crucial things to remember about an introverted man.

If you have spent half of your life sipping a cocktail, with loud music blasting in the background, I am sorry for you. This means you might have never come across an introverted man!

It’s not like an introverted man detests parties. Nevertheless, you have successfully reduced the probability of meeting a warm human, with a heart-melting smile, and an innocent charm that can sweep you off your feet. They are not quite like the ones at the bar, flirting away with strings of girls, laughing away at their own substandard jokes.

Introverted men are damn attractive.

Their shy eye contacts, fleeting glance, and gentle demeanor are sure to win hearts. But unfortunately, they go unseen and unheard. Understanding an introverted man becomes quite difficult for a woman as they are not vocal about themselves. It is just a part of their trait.

If you are an introverted man, or you are a woman who is drawn to an introverted man, understanding oneself or the man you are attracted too is important before you engage in a romantic relationship with him. The reason behind the failure of most relationships is a lack of understanding between the partners.
So, what are the few important things to remember about an introverted man? 

1. An introverted man opens up at his own pace

‘Come out of your shell’ – that noxious expression which fails to appreciate that some animals naturally carry shelter everywhere they go and some humans are just the same. ~Susan Cain

With a man who is introverted, it is not easy to fathom what is going on below the surface. They are easily misunderstood as their way of expression is not quite like other people.

Introverts find it difficult to be forthcoming about their feelings and thoughts. But mind you, that doesn’t make him any less of a considerate, kind and emotional person. On the contrary, their feelings run deeper than you think.

You need to provide them with the proper space, the optimum amount of understanding, the time to open up. Probing and poking them to open up about what is going on in their mind will never help. Instead, this will only make him withdraw in his shell.

Provide him the sweet time to open up. Once he is able to connect, he will share every little detail with you.


2. An introverted man feels deeper than they seem.

introverted man

An introverted man is like still water, seems absolutely unperturbed on the surface but the water runs deeper. They do not frequently express their feelings but their actions speak louder than words.

If you are dating an introverted man, you need to be observant enough to notice the small changes in their facial expression, changes in their body language and their tone of voice. This will not only help you understand him and give you a clue to what is going on in his mind but also enhance the connection between you both.


3. An introverted man desires an easy, open vibe.

introverted man vibes

Working under pressure, meeting deadlines and domination are a few things that suffocate an introverted man. When he is in a relationship, too much drama, too many conflicts, and mind games will negatively affect their interest and commitment to the relationship.

While most of us would like a happy, cheerful and warm environment for our love to bloom, for an introverted man it is a dire necessity. They are able to reach the zenith of their potentials when a conducive environment of warmth and acceptance is provided to them.

Anything critically disturbing to their mental peace hampers their overall growth. They like people around them to be kind, friendly and a little laid back, and give them time to understand if you are vibing well with him or not.


4. An introverted man is incredibly honest.

An introverted man is faithful to the core. Like other men who are outgoing, they do not like being surrounded by women, flirting around and making their partners grow green with jealousy.

They will never, read again, NEVER, play with their partner’s emotion for fun or to get attention. Also, he never plays ‘hard-to-get’. These men love making intimate friends who they choose very carefully. Even when he is spending time with his dear kins, he would love to keep in touch with you and feel your presence. You will never get the vibe of a betrayer from an introverted man.

8 Biggest Downsides of Being an Introvert in a Extroverted World

8 Disadvantages of Being An Introvert

Are there any disadvantages associated with being an introvert? 

Introverts are oftentimes misunderstood by so many of us, and the reason being their inability to express themselves as demonstratively as other people can.

They love to be engrossed in the little imaginary land that they have created in their minds. But excuse us, we are not unaware of what is happening in our surroundings. We are very much observant, aware and adept at absorbing the energies around us. 

Sadly, some of our innate qualities make it difficult for us to ‘trend’ as much as the extroverts. There are so many strong points about being an introvert. Equally, there are numerous disadvantages of being an introvert, which one has to always carry with oneself. 

Here are 8 of the disadvantages of being an introvert (which we are not quite sad about though):

8 Disadvantages of Being An Introvert

1. Introverts often get tagged as a ‘snob’.


This one is far from being true though.

Introverts will seldom return back your smile, as you pass one to them, just like that. Not that they don’t smile. Crack an intellectual joke and you will catch them laughing their lungs out! 

Introverts are never good with small talks or getting along a stranger with smiles and flattery. Being out-going, flirtatious with others is just not their thing. Keeping up with social etiquettes also becomes difficult for them at times. Again, because they have to speak. ‘Thank you’, ‘welcome’, ‘see you again’ – all these do not naturally come to them. 

This does not make them a snob. In fact, they are very considerate beings. This is just because they find it extremely difficult to express anything that they might be playing in their minds.


2. Introverts have a hard time finding a date.


Who do you think takes away the cherry on the cake? 

The ones who are outgoing, flamboyant and uninhibited in demonstrating one’s emotions, the one who wears his/her feelings on one’s sleeves. 

Introverts sadly get fewer dates than they deserve only as they do not come off as “too humorous”, “too interesting” or “too attractive” to most people.


3. Introverts’ capacities at work are often downplayed.

Introverts do not get the deserving credits at work as much as they should get. The reason is simply that they do not explicitly own up their hard work. 

Suppose in a group project, they have contributed their part, have worked hard but are not expressive enough to put themselves in the limelight for their part. They are least likely to complain about how difficult it was for them to manage the project. 


4. Introverts are least likely to be chosen as leaders.


Some typical qualities of a leader are thought to be the ability to focus and communicate properly, have sound decision-making capabilities, vigor, direction, consistency, and intense passion. 

Introverts are believed to have difficulties in communication and in making good decisions. They are also thought to lack the vigor and consistency which is sort after in a leader. 

What people overlook are the essential qualities of intuition, contemplation, good listening skills, empathy and observational abilities which are equally important characteristics of a leader which are possessed by an introvert. 

Introverts Vs Extroverts: 5 Things Introverts Do Better Than Anyone Else

Introverts Vs Extroverts: 5 Things Introverts Do Better Than Anyone Else

Introverts Vs Extroverts: What are the things that Introverts are best at doing?

Are you an introvert? Do you know an introvert? Then you should know that introverts can often do things better than others. In our society, extroverts are celebrated for their charisma and assertiveness while introverts are considered as rude loners. But when it comes to introverts vs extroverts, introverts can get things done better than their counterparts. How do I know? Well, for starters, I am an introvert myself. But don’t take my word for it. 

“Whatever kind of introvert you are, some people will find you ‘too much’ in some ways and ‘not enough’ in others.” – Laurie Helgoe

Although our society and media glamorizes the extroverted lifestyle, introverts do most of the work from behind the scenes, away from everyone’s eyes. This is one of the reasons why we are mostly misunderstood. We are labeled as snobby, unfriendly, shy, anti-social and aloof. Hence, our contribution and hard work often go unnoticed as people are more focused on what extroverts do on the front line. However, introversion can be a rather impressive personality trait that is shaped by our genetics, upbringing, and environment.

Introverts Vs Extroverts: 5 Things Introverts Do Better Than Anyone Else
5 Things Introverts Do Better Than Anyone Else

Who is an introvert anyway?

“Don’t think of introversion as something that needs to be cured…Spend your free time the way you like, not the way you think you’re supposed to.” – Susan Cain

Did you know almost 50% of people are introverts? A 1998 survey by the Myers-Briggs organization found that over half the population in a National Representative Sample showed signs of introversion. 

In the battle for popularity, introverts may lose to extroverts. But that’s because we do not seek external validation. In society’s perception of introverts vs extroverts, we usually turn out to be the dark horse. But we are not weird unfriendly people. Introverts just operate in a different manner. We respond to stimulus more easily than our extroverted friends. This is why introverts prefer to less stimulating activities like writing or reading than going to a party.

As we draw energy from others, both positive and negative, it can seriously affect our mood, thoughts, and emotions. As a result, introverts need to spend adequate time alone in order to recharge themselves. This makes people think that introverts are rude and solitary people. But in reality, introverts love spending time with people they care about. Being preoccupied with their own thoughts, introverts enjoy their own company more and stay away from crowds. Being naturally intuitive, introverts are always in tune with their thoughts and emotions and are always aware of others.


5 Things introverts can do better than others

“Introverts live in two worlds: We visit the world of people, but solitude and the inner world will always be our home.” – Jenn Granneman

With their unique personalities, introverts possess specific strengths that empower them to do certain things way better than anyone else. These inward-oriented souls have much to contribute to our society and everyone can learn a lot from introverts.

Here are a few things which introverts can do best, even better than extroverts.


1. Introverts listen, understand and respect others 

In case you’re keeping score in the battle of introverts vs extroverts, then introverts surely win in the listening department. Listening comes naturally to us as we think before we speak. Introverts tend to understand the opinions of others before voicing their own opinions. So if you want someone to hear you out, then nothing can be better than talking to an introvert. They will not only listen to you, but they will put in the effort to understand your perspective, ask relevant questions and even offer valuable advice, if you need them. This helps us to build a strong and meaningful bond with people.

Introverts are attentive listeners who respect the viewpoints of others. As we are keen listeners, it’s easy for others to open up to us and express themselves without worrying about getting judged. However, we do find small talks useless and draining.


2. Introverts are good at keeping secrets

When it comes to introverts vs extroverts, we are better at keeping secrets than any extrovert out there. Introverts analyze everything and think deeply before speaking. We strive to find balance and depth in our words which allows us to say only what we want to. Moreover, we spend more time alone to recharge ourselves and don’t usually seek approval from others to feel happy. This makes us seem arrogant and spoilsport to extroverts. Introverts are authentic individuals who are least interested in seeking attention or impressing others. 

How to Embrace Being a Lone Wolf and Walk Your OWN Path

How to Embrace Being a Lone Wolf and Walk Your OWN Path

Are you tired of trying to fit into social norms? Do you feel a higher calling that is asking you to walk your own path and find your true self? Then you need to stop seeking social interactions and start getting comfortable with being yourself. You don’t need to live your life like everyone else does. Choose your path and set out on your own adventure. Embrace being a lone wolf and the freedom you experience will be priceless.

If there is any advice I would universally give to every person, regardless of who they are, it is this: walk your own path.

Walk your own damn path.

Don’t walk someone else’s path.
Don’t walk the path your parents predestined for you just because you feel emotionally indebted to them.
Don’t walk a path that appears to be yours, but it is actually society’s fabricated ideal of who you ‘should’ be.
Don’t walk a path just because you fell into it and it’s “good enough.”
Don’t walk a path that you feel a sense of enslaved duty towards because it’s what you “need to be” doing according to dominant socio-cultural standards.

Walk your own path. That means CHOOSING your own path in a very conscious way.

What is a Lone Wolf?

A lone wolf is typically defined as a person (or animal) who prefers to spend time alone rather than being in a group.

However, here lone wolf refers to a person who has listened to their calling and has left behind their old life, thus rendering them alone or alienated from others.

We all possess an inner wolf that thirsts for freedom, truth, and authenticity. If we seek to live a meaningful life, if we want to fulfill our destiny, it’s our job to listen to that inner wolf and embrace our sacred wild nature.



Why Most People Are Terrified of Walking Their Own Path

Although choosing your own path may initially sound very empowering, there’s a reason why most people prefer to follow the herd.

1. Firstly, walking your own path means that you might be REJECTED by others.

You might be gossiped about, thought of in disparaging ways (e.g. as a “kook,” “oddball,” “idiot”), and outright alienated or estranged from other people. Sometimes those people who reject you are those closest to you. And what could be more painful than losing a family member, friend or even partner?

As a species, we are biologically programmed to seek approval because acceptance equals survival. Inevitably, doing anything that may cause us to be rejected sets off those deep, primal alarm bells and raises the hairs on the back of our necks. I would go so far as saying that walking your own path guarantees that at some point someone will look down on you and say, “what on earth are you doing, you imbecile?”


2. The second reason why most people avoid walking their own paths is that it’s a hell of a lotta work.

No one is out there giving you a map, a set of rules, or instructions that tell you what to do. YOU have to be responsible for figuring it all out from scratch. It kind of feels like stumbling through the dark in a room full of sharp objects. You will make mistakes. You will fall flat and land smack bang on your face.

You will feel embarrassed, overwhelmed, and a lot of other uncomfortable emotions that come with doing something completely radical. And on a mental and emotional level, most people see that. Most people understand, on some superficial level, the consequences and therefore prefer the cozy, comfortable, and bland mediocrity of society-prescribed living.


3. The third reason why most people avoid walking their own paths is that it’s “too much” RESPONSIBILITY.

When you take your path into your own hands, YOU are responsible. There’s no one to blame, point the finger at, whine about or feel victimized by.

You are the worker, boss, innovator, and creator all-in-one. Instead of someone else holding all the cards, you hold all the cards, and it is ultimately your problem if you wind up feeling shitty with what you do. Most people can’t handle that.

Most people like the comfy confines of their cages because it makes them feel justified about feeling like a “poor little” victim of life. Instead of taking self-responsibility, it’s much easier to dump the burden onto someone else’s shoulders and feel self-righteously empowered through blame.

15 Things Introverts Crave In Romantic Relationships

15 Things Introverts Crave In Romantic Relationships

Are you dating an introvert and not quite sure about what an Introvert wants from a relationship?

Look no further. 

Let’s talk about facts. Introverts are great lovers.

They aren’t as difficult as you think them to be. These dreamy-eyed lost souls will keep you wondering ‘what’s going on in that beautiful mind.’

They will take you for a ‘mystery ride’ but leave you madly in love once you click well with them. 

15 Things Introverts Crave In Romantic Relationships
Things Introverts Crave In Romantic Relationships

Here are 15 things An Introvert wants from a relationship: 

(Promise, we don’t need much from you, except for these few things)


1.  We crave your cuddles,

on a lazy Sunday afternoon, while watching our favorite show.



2. We crave your acceptance,

just the way we are – crazy, daydreaming, overthinking, messy individuals.


3. We crave your protective arms around us

like we are babies, who need to be loved and pampered.


4. We crave to plant the seed of our never-ending, everlasting, love,

which will one day grow in leaps and bounds.


5. We crave to look deep into your eyes

until every ounce of our love is sipping through and drowning you in it.


6. We crave your patience to wait

until we express exactly what we want. We are slow at processing, but when we start doing it, our mind is all going hayward.


7. We crave your confidence in us,

to believe in our ability to express everything when we are overwhelmed with emotions.


8. We crave time.

We want time to relax, de-stress ourselves, and stay away from all types of social interactions and everything we are expected of.

giving him time

9. We crave freedom and space for us to refill ourselves

with the life-giving energy potion, and come back to you with replenished energy to love and care for you.

alone time

10. We crave your empathy, to understand us and connect to us beyond the usual

so that you can feel us deeply, more intensely and our union happens at a higher realm.

The Reason Introverts and Extroverts Attract Each Other

The Reason Introverts and Extroverts Attract Each Other

How Introverts and Extroverts Attract Each Other

My friend Ted is a musician. He’s kind of quiet with a great sense of humor. He enjoys getting together with friends, but not too many at a time, and his fuse is pretty short when it comes to being with large groups of people. He’s the guy that disappears from a party all of a sudden. One minute he’s here, the next minute he’s outta here. Ted doesn’t dislike people at all, but his tolerance for being around them is pretty limited, and when he maxes out, he’s done, and then he’s gone.

Suzanne’s a high school teacher and a real firecracker. She’s loud, energetic, fun-loving, opinionated, (and not afraid to express her opinions), and she’s a talker. And she’s married to Ted.

You’d think that a pair like that would be a match made in somewhere other than heaven, and if you did, you’d be right. Ted and Suzanne have been married for sixteen years and except for the first several months, things have been shall we say…intense. A typical introvert, Ted tends to seek solitude and time for introspection when his battery needs recharging. When he’s under stress, he values no one’s company more than his own and finds clarity, comfort, and relief in being solitary. Yet he’s not a loner or a hermit. Once Ted is refueled, he’s ready to re-engage and connect with other people. But not until then.

Suzanne, on the other hand, gets recharged by being with people. When she’s stressed out, her initial impulse is always to get with people; preferably in person, but if that’s not possible, then at least by phone. Emails and texts don’t do it. She wants a connection.

“I fell in love with Ted because we had such great connections. We used to talk for hours about the most personal and meaningful things in our lives. I loved his depth and his capacity for listening and understanding; I thought that it would never end. Boy was I wrong. I don’t know what happened but over time it seemed that Ted became increasingly more distant and less emotionally available. He reacted to my efforts to engage him and draw him out with resistance and resentment. He became passive-aggressive and that drives me nuts! It seems that the harder I try to express my frustration and my need for more closeness, the more he withdraws. I’ve even thought about divorce but I cling to the hope that he might change and go back to being the old Ted that I fell in love with. I know he’s still in there somewhere but I just don’t know how to reach him and bring him out.”


Ted has his own version of the story.

“ When I met Suzanne, I was in a very down place in my life. Gloria, my girlfriend of four years and I had recently broken up. Not surprisingly, she had some of the same complaints about me that Suzanne has. ‘He’s detached, distant, aloof and withheld.’ She used to tell me all the time how frustrating and painful it was to be with someone who didn’t share himself and spent so much time isolated. It wasn’t that I didn’t like Gloria, I really did, but she was just too much for me. What to her was a reasonable expectation of connection time, to me was overwhelming.

I wasn’t surprised when Gloria called it off between us, but I really did love her and was hoping that somehow things would work out. I wasn’t hurting as much as she was but after she left, I fell apart. The hole in my life that she filled was empty again and I really took a dive emotionally. I went into a deep depression and got in touch with a fear that there might be something really wrong with me. What kind of a jerk pushes away a woman that he loves without even making an effort to get her back? I swore to myself that if I was ever fortunate enough to find someone that I loved and loved me I wouldn’t make that same mistake again.

So when Suzanne and I met, we both fell hard for each other and I was so grateful and relieved to have been given another chance to do it right this time. The first year that we were together was incredible. It didn’t take any effort on my part to choose to spend time with her. I loved being back in a relationship. I felt like a man who had been dying of thirst and was finally drinking from a stream of cool fresh water. I thought that it would never end.

But it did. Shortly after our first wedding anniversary, I started feeling some of those old urges to seek out more solitary time. It didn’t happen overnight, it was a gradual process, but Suzanne noticed it right away. And when she did, she tried to re-engage me by turning the heat up and I felt really pressured. Needless to say, this didn’t help. Things just got worse. The harder she pushed, the more I withdrew. She felt like I was punishing her but I really wasn’t. I felt like I was running for my life. We got into a vicious cycle that didn’t let up until as a last-ditch effort we got into marriage counseling. That was the turning point. We’re not completely out of the woods yet but we’re on our way and we both have learned a lot more about ourselves and each other in the process.”

Introverts (like Ted) and extroverts (like Suzanne) have the opposite—we prefer to call it “complementary”—means of dealing with stress and meeting their emotional needs.

Introverts tend to be self-reflective and seek out spaces where they can access their inner experiences freely. Extroverts, on the other hand, are predisposed to seek out others with whom they can engage and find the answers to their questions in the dialogue that the interactive process provides.

It might seem counter-intuitive for these two very different personality types to get together, but it actually makes perfect sense from a relationship standpoint.

Left to their own devices or paired with a partner whose inclination is the same as theirs, each of their lives would be unbalanced in one direction or the other.

Two extroverts would run the risk of burning out without sufficient down-time for rest and reflection. Things could also get heated between the two of them as their tendencies might cause them to run the risk of overloading their system possibly amplifying rather than reducing the stress level of their lives.

The potential danger of a relationship with two introverts is pretty obvious. Insufficient stimulation and inadequate external input.

11 Advantages Of Being An Introvert

11 Advantages Of Being An Introvert

“As an introvert, you can be your own best friend or your worst enemy. The good news is we generally like our own company, a quality that extroverts often envy. We find comfort in solitude and know how to soothe ourselves.” – Laurie Helgoe

Being an introvert, since my childhood I felt that something was very off about me. Growing up was a challenge as I didn’t behave like most other kids and spent a lot of time thinking and doing stuff by myself. When I grew up, I avoided social interactions and parties that all my friends used to be excited about. I kept feeling something is wrong with me. But when I was alone in my room, everything felt right. It all felt great. It was my own sweet world full of endless possibilities and I could do and create anything my mind could conjure up in my wildest fantasies.

The sheer joy of solitude is something that mostly introverts experience. Although some might view introversion as a disadvantage, the fact is there are numerous advantages of being an introvert. We may not enjoy chatting with random strangers or wasting our time in social gatherings or even going out to the world unless we have to, but we have our own unique set of skills, qualities and advantages that allows us to live a happy successful life in our own way.


Are you an introvert?

Do you feel you are different?
Do you prefer being alone?
Do you enjoy your own company?
Do you feel tired of talking too much or being with people for too long?

Congratulations! You’re probably an introvert. Introverts like me, prefer to spend their time in a calm environment with minimal stimulation. While socializing, we often feel drained and feel the need to be alone to recharge ourselves. Why? Our mind reacts to dopamine in a completely different way than how extroverts react.

Introverts are usually born the way they are. However, our upbringing and childhood experiences like teasing or bullying or being forced to be like others can lead to social anxiety and make us find peace in solitude. But not all introverts are similar. We are all different people and we all behave in a specific way even though we share some similar characteristic traits.

Here are some signs that you are an introvert:

  • Introverts prefer spending their time alone instead of going out with friends or being actively social.
  • Introverts are usually very creative and enjoy doing solitary activities like writing, painting, reading, gardening etc.
  • Introverts prefer spending their time with their small circle of close friends than going to a crazy party.
  • Introverts are at their best when they are working alone.
  • Introverts do not like needless social interactions and hate small talk with people.
  • Introverts prefer intimate, one-on-one interactions than interacting with loud crowds.
  • Introverts closely observe their surroundings and process information effectively to their advantage.
  • Introverts can accurately read facial expressions and body language of other people.
  • Introverts never seek approval or validation from others as they are self-reliant and have a strong belief in their abilities.
  • Introverts are calculative speakers as they carefully think before expressing their opinions.
  • Introverts value ‘alone time’ the most as it essential for their survival for their soul, like water and oxygen for their body.

Introverts are not necessarily shy

The notion that introverts are shy is perhaps the biggest myth about introverts. Yes, some of us are shy, but not every introvert is shy. Some introverts are rather very confident about themselves and can be very funny and charming. Shyness usually refers to feeling anxious and nervous in a social situation. Introverts usually don’t feel nervous while talking to people in a social setting. They simply feel drained and worn out. Introverts avoid social interactions as they will need to recharge themselves later after feeling drained. We just like conserving our energy for better and more meaningful things. And this is one the best advantages of being an introvert.

Introversion is not a disease

“Don’t think of introversion as something that needs to be cured. Spend your free time the way you like, not the way you think you’re supposed to.” – Susan Cain

In a world where extroverts are celebrated and rewarded, being an introvert may seem like a disadvantage. Extroverts get all the attention, opportunities and fun. Extroverts become popular and are good at pleasing people which provides them better opportunities to succeed in life. Meanwhile, as an introvert you may get ignored and your effort and work may go unnoticed.

But don’t be disheartened. Just because you are an introvert, it doesn’t mean you can’t be successful cause you prefer solitude over noise. In fact, there are many benefits of being an introvert. There are many successful introverts who are more popular and loved than extroverts like –

  • Barack Obama
  • Emma Watson
  • Angelina Jolie
  • Johnny Depp
  • Steven Spielberg
  • Mark Zuckerberg
  • Bill Gates
  • J. K Rowling,
  • Elon Musk
  • Leonardo DiCaprio
  • Albert Einstein and others

6 Reasons Why Introverts Absolutely Hate Talking On The Phone

6 Reasons Why Introverts Absolutely Hate Talking On The Phone

It’s just their nature.

Most introverts dislike talking on the phone — a lot.

It’s something that extroverts don’t naturally understand since they love a good phone chat, and it can create tension in relationships and put people off unintentionally.

The first thing both need to realize is that people interact with the world in different ways and have innate preferences around energy. Introverts direct their energy inward toward their rich inner world. They receive energy by reflecting on their thoughts and feelings. They enjoy solitude, learn by thinking, cultivate deep interests and close personal relationships, prefer communicating in writing, and they intensely value their privacy.

Extroverts, in contrast, direct their energy outward and gain energy by interacting with others and taking action. They enjoy being the center of attention, work out ideas by talking (and thinking) out loud, learn by doing or talking, have large social networks and a variety of interests, and thrive on being around others and expressing themselves.

The difference in communication styles is perhaps never so stark as when it involves the telephone. When the extrovert calls the introvert, what seems like 10 times a day, the introvert is likely going to recoil. Or, when an unknown number pops up, this can be both a nuisance and a source of stress.

Introverts dislike the phone so much they’d rather text Siri than answering the phone. Even if it’s a close friend or family member – some aspect of phone calls is always likely to put them on edge and not feeling at their best.


Here are 6 reasons why introverts hate talking on the phone:

6 Reasons Why Introverts Absolutely Hate Talking On The Phone

1. A ringing phone feels like an intrusion.

Introverts are highly focused on whatever they’re doing or thinking about, and phone calls interrupt their thought process and solitude. They biologically need their quiet time and introspection. And, it doesn’t matter who is calling – an intrusion is an intrusion.

That said, nothing is worse than an unwanted sales call. These occur at the most inopportune times, such as during daydreams or solving problems. What the introvert is thinking at that unfavorable moment is “Go away! I’ll call you if I’m interested!” I’m sure many a slammed phone is done by introverts.


2. The unknown is anxiety-provoking.

Introverts like to anticipate, and an unexpected call can create nervousness. Blocked or unknown numbers evoke panic, and prompt “Who is calling me?” as well as suspicion for the introvert who likes to build trusting relationships with people before speaking on the phone.

More important, perhaps, is the introverts desire to be an expert and master everything they do. Winging it on the phone, without an opportunity to research something in detail isn’t something they enjoy.


3. Chit chat is useless.

Most phone calls start with meaningless banter about the weather or how busy everyone has been. The introvert values depth and has no time for small talk. They would much sooner curl up on a couch and dive into a comprehensive conversation about the meaning of life or exactly how to stop climate change.


4. It’s exhausting.

Introverts process information in a particular way: Hear, think about it, think some more, respond, then think some more. Here is what happens for extroverts: Hear, talk, think, talk, talk, and talk some more. Trying to process that much sensory information without a break can be tiring!

And, while introverts can be excellent listeners, don’t be surprised if they drift off during the call and you find yourself asking if they are still on the line. They want to get to the crucial bits of the call, and they’re too kind to tell you that you’re rambling.

10 Popular Myths About Introverts That Are Far From Truth

10 Popular Myths About Introverts That Are Far From Truth

How would you feel if you’re judged based on things that ain’t true? Here are 10 popular myths about introverts that are far from truth.

When talking about introverts, we tend to generalize them. Usually they come across as socially awkward and uninteresting people.

But contrary to popular conception, what we know about them is only the tip of the iceberg. They are a reservoir of unimaginable talent and creativity. Let’s dive deep into their minds and bust the myths that have plagued them.

Here are 10 popular myths about introverts that are far from truth

Myth 1: They Are Arrogant


Most people judge introverts as arrogant. Since people find introverts unwilling to interact most of the time, they often assume them to be self-centered. But that is far from truth.

It’s not that they are arrogant, but rather selective when it comes to socializing. It is characteristic of an introvert to carefully choose whom to interact with.

Their attitude might come across as nit-picky, but introverts are not comfortable in socializing with every single person. They have their inner circle with which people have to match in-order to be close to an introvert.


Myth 2: They Hate People In General

Introverts are not antisocial

People assume introverts to be hateful. They’re considered rude and often disdaining people who display the opposite traits of introversion. It is true that introverts are unable to get along with most people, but that does not mean they hate them.

Their attitude might seem a bit eccentric when compared with the rest of the society, but it is the way things are for an introvert. The fact that they are not comfortable with everyone gets reflected on their body language.


Myth 3: Introverts Are Poor Leaders And Public Speakers

Introverts think things through many times

This is one of the most popular misconceptions regarding introverts. Leadership is often equated with sociability and people consider public speakers to be outspoken in real life.

But that’s not always true. While there are extroverted leaders, introverts make a large chunk of good leaders as well. In-fact, there are instances, where an introvert delivers better public speech than an extrovert.

This happens mainly because introverts have a huge reservoir of thoughts to share. And once they master the art of public speaking, there’s no stopping to it.


Myth 4: Introverts Are Boring, Not Creative Enough

Being introverted is wild

Extroverts are indeed not boring. They crave social engagements and activities. As a result, they’re creative by nature. In contrast to introverts who prefer recluse and solitude are considered devoid of excitement and novelty.

But introverts can be as creative as their extrovert counterparts, if not more. Contrary to the popular belief, an introvert’s inner world is full of ideas and adventures. They might be selective when it comes to expressing them, but that in no way makes them less creative than extroverts.


Myth 5: They Have Weak Personalities

That moment when you hit the introvert wall

Introverts have different personalities. Whenever there has been an introvert leader, the world has changed. Under their leadership, the world becomes a better place. Introverts build up on their will power by giving time to themselves which extroverts tend to ignore.

In-fact, introverts have equipped with stronger personalities than anyone else. An introvert’s will is strong enough to make the impossible happen. One can very well sideline the power of an introvert, but that does not change the truth.


Myth 6: They Lack A Strong Mindset

You Know Your Introverted

Introverts are considered to be mentally weak. People believe that they tend to run away from arguments. But that is partly true. Introverts can be highly opinionated.

Also, they can participate in heated debates. The topic has to be something they have in-depth knowledge of. So it clearly implies that it is not about the mindset, but more about what topic is being discussed in the debate.


Myth 7: They don’t like making friends

Who said introverts don't share anything

People generally believe that introverts are anti-social. That they are unwilling to make friends. But for introverts, the very concept of close relations is vastly different from the way extroverts perceive it.

It is not that they don’t want to make friends, rather they are cautious in their own way when looking out for friendship. A relation after all, is a matter of mutual trust, and it is very difficult to win the trust of an introvert. Also, introverts root for fewer friends than extroverts. They like keeping their inner circle small.


Myth 8: Introverts always want to be left alone

I am introverted

9 Things That Make An Introvert Happy

Here’s to peeking at things that make an introvert happy.

In a time when social media has converted the society into an extrovert’s paradise, an introvert seems to others as a very mysterious creature from a different planet all-together.

While introverts readily assume something is wrong with them, extroverts avoid being with individuals who simply fail to understand the significance of socializing during the weekends.

Introverts are not difficult people to deal with; they are people whose source of stimulation is internal. They are individuals who embrace solitude, process their thoughts in their heads, are less demonstrative of their ideas through words, occasionally suffer ‘people exhaustion’ and frequently need to retreat into aloneness to recharge their energy.

The preferences of an introvert and an extrovert is distinct. Nonetheless,it is absolutely necessary to respect the differences and accept them as they are. Instead of judging other people, we must learn to understand them.

Introverts are highly misunderstood as they seldom express themselves and their needs.

So, how do you know what makes them happy to increase your understanding about them?


To start with, here are 9 things that make introverts happy:


1. Plenty of ‘me time

Not to mention, it is a must in their happiness list. Introverts find it overwhelming to stay for long in exposure to a lot of people and happenings.

Enjoying “me time” is the most important activity in their daily schedule. It gives them the same thrill as a long awaited party post a week long work gives to an extrovert. It is what they look forward to after an exhaustive day, a happy day, a disappointing day, a productive day, almost every possible day.

As it is impossible to completely avoid social interaction, temporarily staying away from people to restore the drained mind and soul is a necessity for the introverts. It replenishes their mental clarity and rejuvenates them with the energy and spirit to go through another new day.


2. Good books

It’s said that there is no friend as loyal as a book. Guess whose best friends are books?

Given a choice, an introvert will befriend a book over a human being. Books are like a cheery to the cake for the hyper-imaginative minds that introverts possess.

It simply is a fodder for their unique thought process, filling them with the joy of experiencing everything vividly inside their mind. Good books are more treasured by them than any meaningless human connection.

Introverts love to keep their friends circle small and their book shelves filled.


3. Nature

Be it bird watching, walking over grass, stargazing or romanticizing nights- nature for introverts is like a healing hub. Introverts get easily drained by social interactions and being in nature helps them revive the lost mental clarity.

Introverts love to connect with the silent reassurance of nature. For them time spent in nature is a relaxing way to de-stress negativity and regain their lost energy.


4. Writing

“I think many introverts naturally see the world in terms of story and symbol,” Lauren Sapala, a writing coach for introverts has to say “And when we use writing as a tool, we’re able to connect the dots and lay out the patterns we see for others.”

The language introverts interact through is writings. Unlike other people, introverts are not highly demonstrative of their emotions and writing makes it easier for them to be lost in their fascinating mind and come up with some masterpieces.

Journaling is another way introverts keep a track of their unsaid thoughts and feelings.

Why would introverts not love being alone, in their comfortable space and writing away things they would rather not say?


5. Meaningful conversations

Have you ever had a small talk with an introvert? You probably didn’t. You never would.

Introverts absolutely detest ‘whats’ and loves ‘whys’. For them small talks are a waste of valuable time. People who are wired to dive deeper into every matter has no interest in making talks that seldom gets past the superficial level.

Meaningful discussions are like an essential mental exercise for them. The emotional intimacy that meaningful conversations create is sought after by an introvert.

Dr. Laurie Helgoe points out in Introvert Power, “Introverts do not hate small talk because we dislike people. We hate small talk because we hate the barrier it creates between people.”

80+ Introvert Memes That Will Speak Your Mind For You

80+ introvert memes

Swiss psychologist Carl Jung popularized the terms “introverted” and “extroverted” describing two distinct personality types. Introverts have a rich inner world, they are internally stimulated and prefer to stay by themselves.

Extroverts, on the contrary, are actively involved in the external world and things outside themselves; they are socially active and more aware of what is going on around them.

Introverts are often misunderstood because they mostly stay in their mind space. This might come off as being distant, indifferent and aloof to some people.

Introversion is a lot about being able to relate and feel connected to like-minded people – other introverts. These memes are the best of the hilarious introvert memes which will help you speak your mind and feel mentally connected to other introverts who share the same thought process.


17 Signs You Are An Introvert

17 signs you are an introvert

Do you ever wonder if you could be an introvert?

To think oneself as an introvert is often associated with some negative ideas. We often assume that introverts are people who hate other people or people who only have poor social skills. But in actuality, introversion is an aspect of a person’s personality which transcends beyond just skills and personal choice.

The terms “introvert” and “extravert” (note the correct spelling with a rather than o) were originally introduced by Swiss psychiatrist C.G. Jung in his now classic text Psychological Types (1921). 

Each person seems to be energized more by either the external world (extraversion) or the internal world (introversion).

Introversion or extraversion is a trait a person possesses. It is not acquired. But to put a person exclusively in the distinct compartments of introversion or extraversion is limiting to the possibilities of exploring oneself beyond a tag.

Introverts make up an estimated 25 to 40 percent of the population. Despite the growing conversation around Introverts, there are still many misconceptions about this personality type.

Introverts are focused more on internal thoughts, feelings and moods rather than seeking out external stimulation. They direct their libidinal force towards themselves, their inner self and their convictions rather than towards their external surroundings.

Still not sure if you are an introvert or not?

If you are wondering whether or not you are an introvert, these 17 signs will help you put your doubt to rest. 

17 Signs You Are An Introvert:

1. You Don’t Enjoy Small Talk

Introverts hate small talks unless inevitable. You prefer substantial conversations that yields some useful discussions. You are a deep thinker. So, topics which are grave evokes your interest. You thrive on grim conversations about metaphysics, philosophy of life, ideas, theories and big goals.


2.You are more of a texter than a talker

Introverts are not the best at talking over the phone. You are not good at starting or continuing a conversation over the phone. It freaks you out to literally engage in a proper conversation over the phone where you are being unable to observe the other person’s expressions.

You would rather just wait back to reply with a thoughtful message. But at times you hate the phone because it’s intrusive and distracting.

However, when it comes to the close people in your life (only the few chosen ones), you can talk for hours over the phone with them, but only rarely.


3. You Find Crowds Stressful

You prefer one-on-one time, where it’s more intimate. You feel all drained by the overflowing social energy. So at social gatherings you hurry through a few small talks and get back to your comfortable space to recharge your energies. Socializing is like a panic attack for you because you know you suck at it.


4. You’re Not Asocial; You’re Selectively Social

You find it difficult to meet people you prefer and feel comfortable with. It takes you a little while to warm up to someone.

When you feel a connection with someone you open up to them and show interest in knowing them further.


5. You Enjoy Hanging Out Occasionally In Small Doses With People Who Really Matter

Once in a while, you prefer going out with a group of people, only with whom you are very comfortable. It could be a party, a networking event, or a huge concert. Socializing is fun and acceptable to you when in small doses.


6. You Are Extremely Observant and Mindful of Your Surroundings

Introverts are very sensitive to their surroundings. You can easily read other people’s facial expressions and body languages.

You have a potential for mindful observation of the surrounding. You can easily absorb strings of stimuli through your senses. You enjoy getting to know people at a deeper level.


7. You open up only to those who you are comfortable with

Introverts are extremely careful in choosing who they allow to see their inner self. You are cautious because you know opening up to someone takes a lot of mental energy which you only agree to spend on people worthy of your time and efforts.

You carefully choose the people you can be comfortable with. You are also very quick in shutting people out of your life if they threaten your privacy.

7 Tips For A Successful Introvert Extrovert Relationship

7 Tips For A Successful Introvert Extrovert Relationship

Despite their differences, an introvert-extrovert relationship can be one match made in heaven.

The story goes something like this.

A calm-preferring person, who gains their energy from retreating, meets an exuberant energy-rich person who likes to steep themselves in the world, and falls in love. There’s no looking back after that.

The roller-coasting Adrenalin rush and butterflies in the stomach initially soon give way to a frustration that runs the danger of building to a point that it can explode one day.

Welcome to the classic introvert-extrovert relationship. It has a real shot at being successful only if one knows how to negotiate a space that can be called complex.

Both introvert and extrovert were terms coined by the renowned Swiss psychoanalyst Carl Jung in the early 1930’s, after which curiosity rose about these personality types and how they process the world around them.

In a study conducted by Cornell University researchers in 2013, it was discovered that the extrovert brain produces more dopamine than the introvert brain.

This means that how the former feels rewarded through the simple acts of eating, loving, having sex etc. is very different from the latter. Is it then any wonder that most extroverts tend to respond in superlatives, while introverts may come across as a lot more inward and withdrawn.


What causes strife in an Introvert-Extrovert relationship?

Various research and establishments have somehow thrown up similar results about the essential behavioural difference between introverts and extroverts.

According to researcher Scott Barry Kaufman, words such as “food”, “sex”, “money” and “social status” are deeply wired into the human genome.

However, the impact that these words have on an introvert and on an extrovert, is very different. The brain of an extrovert fires far more easily at the anticipation of repetitive rewards, in comparison to their introvert counterparts.

When they come in relationship to one another, some major differences such as the following crop up:


1. Disagreements around plans

It’s a known fact that extroverts find value and worth in being connected to the world. Depending upon context and the nature of the person, this connection could be to work, friends, going out often, growing personal and professional network etc.

For an introvert though, rejuvenation comes from spending time alone or with a trusted few.

Thus, in an introvert-extrovert relationship, this difference of wanting to connect and wanting to cut back, can often present itself as a big problem. 


2. Disagreements around space

Almost as an extension to the previous point, is the kind of disagreements introverts and extroverts tend to have over the topic of “space”.

It’s not uncommon for an introvert to want a room that’s akin to a den, all to themselves. Whether it is to spend time working or taking rest, introverts prefer to be left by themselves.

Extroverts, on the other hand, driven by connection that they are, like to be around people and are more easily welcoming of intimacy.

This basic difference can wreak havoc in an introvert-extrovert relationship as soon as the initial sheen wears off.


What can you do differently in your Introvert-Extrovert relationship?

Now that you know differences are a given in such a personality equation, the question is, is there something you can do about it?

Turns out the answer is yes and that with a little patience, you can go a long distance as well.


1. Listen and listen well

With processing differences, it is essential for both introverts and extroverts to remember that they see the world very differently. And that essentially, neither is right and neither is wrong.

To remember the difference in processing in the face of resentment, is to be able to cross at least one level of complexity.

This could, in time, also lessen the expectation that the other person should somehow be like you. A change that could eventually leave each person less stressed and stretched out.


2. Make changes for you

An introvert-extrovert relationship can pressurize both the people involved to change the other . In a way, it is human to do so, simply because changing oneself or even the thought of it, is bound to be followed by resistance.

However, it is anybody’s guess that such attempts can derail the relationship more than anything else. That is not to say you can’t make changes and compromises.

Though it does mean, that if you’re doing them, do it for yourself. Most relationships, and more so introvert-extrovert relationships, suffer most when you make changes keeping the other person at the centre.

One way to do this is to keep checking with yourself why you are doing what you are doing. 

11 Most Suitable Jobs for Introverts

11 Most Suitable Jobs for Introverts

Top Jobs for Introverts: For People Who Hate People

A job option which is compatible with our personality not only helps us take a sensible career decision but also a step that decides whether we will have a fulfilling, satisfactory and relaxing career or not. The first step to knowing our personality is to take some scientifically reliable personality tests like Myers-Briggs, Keirsey Temperament Sorter, or the 16 Personality Factors.

Let us first have a clear idea about what is personality.


Personality refers to a person’s pattern of thinking, cognitions and behaviors that make a person unique.

A deep understanding of one’s personality is crucial to finding the right kind of jobs and relationships where one can blossom into one’s highest potential.


Carl Jung’s Theory of Introvert and Extrovert Personalities

One of the most insightful personality theories that can aid us in understanding our personality type is Carl Jung’s theory of Introversion and Extraversion.

Carl Jung (pronounced “yoong”) was a famous twentieth century Swiss psychoanalyst and the founder of analytical psychology.

Jung was an introvert himself, and was the first to explain that introverts are the ones who are drawn to their rich inner world of feelings and thoughts to energize themselves whereas their counterparts, extroverts are the ones who are drawn to the external world of people and activities to feel energized.

Each person seems to be energized more by either the external world (extraversion) or the internal world (introversion).– Carl Jung

He even added that none of us are completely introvert or completely extrovert and each one of us has both the traits of introversion and extraversion, with one being more dominant than the other.


Are you an Introvert or Extrovert?

 Are you curious to find out, where you fall on the Introvert- extrovert spectrum?

Just pick “true” or “false” for the below mentioned questions:

1). I prefer spending time with few close friends instead of a large group.

2). I prefer expressing my ideas in writing.

3). I prefer deep conversations over small talk.

4). I observe and listen more than I talk.

5). I can dive into a work project, practice a hobby or engage in something creative for hours at the stretch, without getting bored.

6). I would prefer to text or email than talk on the phone with people I don’t know very well.

If you mostly answered true to the above mentioned, then you’re more of an introvert.

If you mostly answered false, then you’re more of an extrovert.

And if you answered “true” and “false” equally, you probably are an Ambivert.


Introverts vs Extroverts Career Choices

Now that you have identified your personality type, it will be easier for you to find the workplaces and relationships that will help you to thrive instead of draining you of your vital energy.

If you have identified yourself as an Extrovert or Ambivert, you will find a lot of career options but if you have identified yourself as an introvert, you would know that Introverts have a hard time finding a fulfilling career.

Wondering why? Well here is a list of obstacles that keep Introverts from finding a happy and fulfilling career.


Why Many Introverts Are Unhappy with Their Careers

1). Introverts are more likely to look for a job that’s meaningful

This is mostly because Introverts derive their motivation not only from their paycheck but also from the work that is meaningful and purpose driven.

2). Office Structure & layout

Most of the offices have now adopted open office layouts that can bombard introverts with lot of external stimuli making it difficult for them to concentrate on their work without distractions.

3). Job Interviews & appraisals are skewed towards extroverted traits

More often than not managers prize social ability over concrete competence and skills even if the job in question is not a people facing role.

This environment is difficult for Introverts to thrive in because they do not like a lot of social interaction or people facing roles.

4). Most managers are not trained to get the most out of their Introvert employees

Most managers don’t realize that introverts bring their unique skill set to the workplace and hence fail to make the most out of their unique skill set.

What Makes Letting Go Hard for an Introvert

What Makes Letting Go Hard for an Introvert

As I watched the raindrops slid down the window pane, my mind started to also reminisce every single moment I had with him.

Well, this melancholic moment is just a usual part of being an introvert.

If you’re a typical young woman at an adulting stage, you would probably say that, “Breakup is not the end of the world.” You’ll just smile and live life like nothing happened. But for an introvert, this is something they will carry, not for the rest of their lives, but for a very long time. Knowing that it is not easy for an introvert to disclose themselves to a person, most especially in a romantic relationship, the time they have spent to trust a person is also the same when it comes to accepting the fact that someone left them.

They are not the usual kind of people who can suddenly change their mindset and turn the page of the book into the next chapter.

They are not the people who will only shrug it off their shoulders and find another partner whom they can openly give their heart once more. They are not the people who can throw everything all at once and enjoy life again.

Introverts are very serious when it comes to love.

Although it may vary depending on the situation, but an introvert really dives into a person’s soul once they feel that the person is really into them. They will disclose everything about themselves, knowing that the other person will still love them  despite their imperfections. They will try their very best to make you feel secured, loved and taken care of, though at times, them being over thinkers can somehow make their partners feel it the other way around.

They will always put you on top of her priorities, making you feel like you’re a part of their dream: someone who deserves to be pursued and exerted efforts to win.

Since an introvert knows what it’s like to be alone, they are going to treasure people who simply loves them for being the person they are and will always try to keep that person for the rest of her life.

When someone leaves them, this would be one of the worst experiences in their lives.

It’s like abruptly putting an end to one of their greatest sources of happiness; the reason why they smile and the reason why everything makes sense after a very long time of being contented with their life as strong independent people. It will change the way they see the world.

At some point, they might  feel like they are the worst of all the people in the world for their partner found a reason to leave her. They are going to ask themselves every day on why it had to happen to them.

As they usually disclose almost everything about themselves to their partner, it feels to them like the painful experience has also taken away a huge part of them which almost left them picking up their broken pieces and trying to work on what’s left of them.

They are going to miss their old selves; loving their partners with everything that they preserved from the beginning: the love, trust, affection, care and everything that they had promised to just give to the person they thought they could spend the rest of their lives with.

Now, all they can give are just shattered pieces of themselves. They are not whole anymore. They have poured everything for the person they loved and still hoping that their love will lead them back to each other’s arms. Though it may seem impossible, they are never willing to give up – they are going to fight for your love as long as they feel the love that they have felt from the moment they met you.

They are going to prove people how love can surpass everything – that it’s power can go beyond what meets the eye. It has the power to make someone forgive, forget and make reconciliations possible.

The introverts give away so much of themselves to their lovers that letting go seems to be like tearing apart a part of their souls and burning it.

Remember, when introverts learn how to love, they want their and their lover’s worlds to become one. 

Related Video: 6 Zodiac Signs That Tend To Fall For People They Can’t Have

Become a Contributor at The Minds Journal

We Want To Hear Your Story. Share your work,thoughts and writings and we will make sure, it reaches the world! Submit Now

You may also like

What Makes Letting Go Hard for an Introvert

5 Things Extroverted Creatives Want You to Know

5 Things Extroverted Creatives Want You to Know

As a society, we don’t generally see extroverts as the intellectuals, the artists or the creative types, or as people who pursue goals in areas which are (wrongly, in my opinion) stereotyped as “quiet”. We often see extroverts as frivolous, lowbrow party animals — or at least as “friendly” and “people-oriented”.

The truth is, extroverts are simply energized from being among people, while introverts tend to recharge in solitude.

Although I am very extroverted, I was not always aware of it, as I am not a people person or a party animal at all. Rather, I am a task-oriented, choleric-tempered, Type A person of excessive extremes, who needs a high level of eustress in the same sense that everyone else needs air. (And I happen to love an energizing, stimulating environment as well as all things over-the-top.)

1. We speak to facilitate brainstorming.

We usually think best by talking, and we often come to understandings by talking ideas and situations through. This means that we don’t mean everything we say.

Unless we say so precisely, we don’t intend for our words to be taken as promises or as facts. Our spoken ideas imply only potentials; we don’t mean for them to be seen as scientific facts or as binding contracts.

Likewise, our statements can often be in the form of commands, even if we don’t mean to “order you around”, or mean for you to see it that way. It is just our fast and direct habit of speaking.

2. You — people, that is — inspire us. You help us to think, to generate ideas, whereas reflection alone drains us.

Introverts seem to invent and create better in solitude. (As the great inventor and introvert Nikola Tesla said, “Be alone, that is the secret of invention.”) Yet, extroverted intellectuals and creatives need to bounce our theories and ideas off on others; we are also stimulated by their presence and input. Think of it as a form of nuclear fusion.

As an artist, I often cannot work or focus unless I have someone to talk to simultaneously, or I can fall into a black pit of despair. I enjoy having someone watch while I paint or draw, and I often feel like they contributed to my work as much as I did, even if they never touched it physically. However, I have heard that many artists can’t work while others watch, and will only let others see their art after they are certain it is complete.  

3. We value praise and recognition, a lot, but even negative criticism is motivating. The worst case scenario for us is to receive no response at all.

4. We can be overreacting, dramatic, intense, excitable and maybe even hyper-manic. (Believe me, I’ve been called all of these and more — such as “wild” and “fanatical” — but I am finally becoming proud of these traits.) Subtlety, however, is not in our vocabularies, and inertia is antithetical to our systems.

We don’t “chill”, and we don’t “keep calm” or “relax”, ever. We don’t want to.

We yearn for energizing, stimulating and invigorating activities and environments. We need fire and passion in our lives, and we thrive on running full-caliber. We seek out excess and eustress, and we love all things loud and over-the-top.

We enjoy this energy; it is our ideal state, so don’t try to hold us back or bring us down in any way. What is “cozy” for you can be stuffy and stifling to us. Similarly, all which is “calm,” “quiet,” “peaceful,” “relaxed” and “soothing” can feel like a prison sentence to an extrovert. Different things feel good to different people, and everyone has their own definition of happy. Enthusiasm lights us up, whereas sentimentality can drain us of our vitality. Feed our flame to keep us happy. We love those with whom we can be fully ourselves without restraint.

5. Don’t be embarrassed about not being as expressive or as excitable as us.

We admire your composure and your ability to keep yourself together when we incapacitate ourselves laughing. Also, patience and stability are virtues we value a lot — in other people. We don’t expect you to behave the same way we do (most people don’t, after all), and it doesn’t make you any less fun to be around. We wouldn’t want to have to share the spotlight with you anyway.

Become a Contributor at The Minds Journal

We Want To Hear Your Story. Share your work,thoughts and writings and we will make sure, it reaches the world! Submit Now