Have you ever been deeply in love with someone who is toxic for you, for your life, and most importantly, your mental health?
Love is blind they say and we understand this statement only when we fall in love with someone.
When we love someone we ignore their flaws, their edges and keep on pouring love despite getting hurt and without paying attention to what we are getting in return. We believe in boundaries and our rationality seems to be our ill-wisher. This is one of the supportive argument to the statement love is blind.
People don’t come with labels and it’s really not easy to know if someone is toxic or healthy for you.
Falling in love is not a voluntary action and this sometimes makes us suffer, suffer badly.
When your relationship turns toxic it can be really damaging. While the foreign toxic substances entering your body attack your vital organs, the effects and symptoms are physically visible but when you’re in a toxic relationship, it attacks your brain and heart. It hurts your soul.
Physically you look fine but deep inside you’re a mess, shattered, and fighting a fight you never knew would come up.
The attraction is so strong that you cannot resist even if you wanted to. At the inception, this feels no less than a fairy tale. It makes you feel you’re living the most beautiful moments of your life. That person lights up your world and when you’re with them all you wish is the time to stop.
Not much longer and the magic disappears, the lights are out and you’re there wondering if that was really a dream. The balloons are burst, the lights are on the floor and everything looks a mess. You start wondering what went wrong. Where did you make the mistake? You just cannot accept the fact that the beautiful soul from yesterday is now ugly.
You cannot help but wish to go back. You long to be with them again despite knowing what you lie ahead will only add to the miseries.
You have gone so deep that you cannot imagine a life without them. They made you feel perfect and gave all the happiness in the world and a life without them has no meaning for you. Things seemed perfect and you’re on top of the world but now you’ve fallen, the things are ugly now and they just suck the life out of you.
You know this person is toxic for you and everyone tells you to leave them, you agree and you try to maintain the distance. The attraction is stronger but you put a good fight but then you break down. The world comes crashing down to your feet and you’re in pain. You want to go back to them and finally give in.
You rush back to them, you again don’t care about the consequences, and all that matters is you being next to them. Once you’re back to them the magic is stronger this time. Fueled by your passion and pain by distance, love is much stronger this time. Your rationality says this magic won’t last long but you simply don’t care.
Want to know more about being in love with someone who is toxic for you? Read 6 Early Red Flags of a Toxic Relationship
You have high hopes. You hope to make things better at this time. You hope for a change, you hope to not get hurt this time and this determination of yours makes these moments beautiful again.
Not long and things turn slowly again. Deep down you know what’s next but you cannot help it, a voice in your heads tells you can fix it your efforts and logic. When we want something very badly we put all our effort into gaining it. It takes time and you realize your efforts are in vain.