Consequences Of Emotionally Immature Parents: 7 Behaviors That Breed Self-Hate In Children


, ,
Toxic Things Emotionally Immature Parents Do To Their Kid

What happens when grown-ups who are expected to direct children through life, have difficulty with their own feelings? Children don’t hate their parents—they start hating themselves. That’s why we will learn about emotionally immature parents and the toxic things parents say.

This is crucial for healing and building healthier family relationships. So let’s explore it.

Having Emotionally Immature Parents
Consequences Of Emotionally Immature Parents: 7 Behaviors That Breed Self-Hate In Children

“Emotionally Immature Parents”: What Does It Mean?

The American Psychological Association defines emotional immaturity as “a tendency to express emotions without restraint or disproportionately to the situation”, or having an emotional reaction that a child would have.

In the same way, emotionally immature parents often can’t control their own emotions which may lead them into actions or words that unintentionally harm their children.

Here are seven common behaviors or things toxic parents say that can breed self-hate in children.

Read more here: 7 Words Every Struggling Adult Child Needs To Hear From Their Parents

What Does Emotional Immaturity Look Like? 7 Behaviors And Things Toxic Parents Say

emotionally immature parents
Consequences Of Emotionally Immature Parents: 7 Behaviors That Breed Self-Hate In Children

If you’re dealing with or know someone with emotionally immature parents take a look at the things they say or do that make a child hate itself…

1. They Invalidate Their Children’s Feelings

Parents who have not matured emotionally are known to disregard or underestimate their children’s emotions. In this case, a parent might tell their child “Stop crying, it’s just a dog” when they express sadness over losing a pet.

Negating these feelings teaches kids that what they feel is irrelevant or wrong and makes them doubt themselves and their values. Therefore, hindering emotional growth will lead to a lack of confidence in recognizing one’s feelings later in life.

2. They Have An Over Critical Attitude

Their excessively judgmental standpoint and absence of positive criticism can deeply damage a child’s self-esteem. Statements that never let up such as ‘You can’t do anything right’ or comparisons like ‘Why can’t you be more like your brother/sister?’ breed an atmosphere of toxicity. 

Kids imbibe these feelings of being unworthy because they are unable to meet their parents’ unrealizable expectations. This unremitting pessimism about themselves eventually affects how children see themselves, thereby lowering their morale and emotional health.

3. Their Love Is Conditional

Dealing with emotionally immature parents means that they only show love and approval for their children when they meet particular sets of expectations or accomplish specific aims. 

Such a love, which depends on the children’s accomplishments rather than their personalities, leaves them with one message; that their value as individuals is determined entirely by what they do. 

For this reason, kids never stop trying to win recognition from others to feel wanted or cared about — they learn that who they are doesn’t count unless it’s good enough for somebody else.

4. They Lack of Emotional Boundaries

When adults speak excessively to their children about personal issues, they confuse the children’s boundaries and make them feel answerable for their parents’ emotional condition. 

This kind of sharing makes kids think that it is in their hands to fix adult problems which then causes them guilt as well as blaming themselves over what happened. Parents should always keep a distinct separation between their own emotional state and those of their kids in order not to endanger the latter’s mental health.

5. Their Parenting Is Inconsistent 

Emotionally immature parents show extreme control, sometimes they’re too strict, or sometimes they become overly disinterested. This kind of inconsistency makes a child feel unsafe because it is impossible to predict what will happen next. 

Consequently, the kid fails to learn how to trust itself or anyone else throughout life. This irregularity may also affect emotional balance in children and their overall sense of security and happiness.

6. The Child And Parent Reverse Roles

The child is put under immense pressure when the parents seek emotional support from them or make them their confidants instead of their caretakers. This reversal of roles disrupts the usual relationship between children and their parents, robbing kids of having a carefree childhood. It burdens them with responsibilities they are too young to handle.

7. They Have Frequent Emotional Explosions

Parents who let their emotions take over often or respond disproportionately to minor issues make life unpredictable and dangerous for their children. 

Such fits of rage may give lessons to youngsters that having feelings is something that should be avoided. And some kids may find it hard to control their emotions and remain calm.

How to Heal From Things Toxic Parents Say

If you think that you have emotionally immature parents, remember that it is not your fault. Here are some things that can help make you feel better.

1. Speak to somebody: Find an adult who you trust such as a teacher or relative and talk about how you feel with them. They might be able to help you understand what’s going on and deal with your feelings.

2. Take care of yourself: Do things that make you happy or calm, like drawing pictures, playing outside, or talking to friends who boost your spirits.

3. Set boundaries: It’s okay to let them know how this makes me feel (even if they don’t always get it right away).

4. Find support: Sometimes talking to other kids who have gone through similar things can help make one feel less alone in the world.

5. Be patient with yourself: Remember growing up/healing takes time – so be kind towards yourself while also recognizing that you deserve love and understanding too.

Read more here: How To Successfully Go No Contact With Toxic Parents? 8 Tips To Follow

Growing up with emotionally immature parents can be really tough, but you’re not alone. By understanding how their behavior affects you and taking steps to heal, you can learn to manage your own feelings and grow into a strong, caring person.

Remember, it’s okay to ask for help and to take care of yourself—you deserve it!

emotionally immature parents
Consequences Of Emotionally Immature Parents: 7 Behaviors That Breed Self-Hate In Children

— Share —

— About the Author —


  1. James Sarafin Avatar
    James Sarafin

    The parents behave the way they do because they are conditioned.
    How the parents live their lives teaches the children how to live, which conditions the children.
    No one that is conditioned can live a good life, and we all are conditioned to varying degrees.
    The children are only living as they were taught.

Leave a Reply

Up Next

Why Do I Hate My Father? 8 Effective Ways to Mend Your Relationship

Why Do I Hate My Father? Tips to Reconnect with Your Dad

“Why do I hate my father?” – if you have ever asked yourself this question, then trust me, you are not alone. Not having a good relationship with your father is one of the most painful things to experience in life.

Father-child relationships can be really complicated in many cases, and it’s normal to feel a mix of emotions. Whether it’s due to past hurts, misunderstandings, or present conflicts, your strained relationship with him can be really challenging and hard to navigate.

But there’s always light at the end of the tunnel, and I have some good news for you: it is possible to improve your bonding with your dad. Today, we are going to talk about some of the best ways to strengthen your bond with your father, and turn things around for the better.

So, ready to know how you and your father can reconne

Up Next

5 Steps To Raise An Emotionally Intelligent Child

Steps To Raise An Emotionally Intelligent Child

Raising an emotionally intelligent child can seem challenging, but honestly, it doesn’t have to be. This article is going to talk about the importance of nurturing emotional intelligence in children, and how it can help them thrive emotionally, as well as socially.

5 Steps To Raise An Emotionally Intelligent Child

1. Acknowledge your child’s perspective and empathize.

Even if you can’t “do anything” about your child’s upsets, empathize. Just being understood helps humans let go of troubling emotions.

If your child’s upset seems out of proportion to

Up Next

How to Raise Competent Children: 12 Expert Tips Every Parent Needs to Know

How To Raise Competent Children? Expert Tips

Raising a competent child is every parent’s dream, isn’t it? However, it can sometimes feel like a daunting task. With these 12 practical and easy-to-follow tips, you will be better equipped to raise competent children, and help them thrive in every aspect of their lives.

Competence in adults is a prerequisite to achieving professional and personal success. But what is competence in children?

Competent children are able to handle emotional challenges well enough to tackle the age-appropriate tasks of each stage of development, master them, and emerge with greater confidence. They have the emotional intelligence to manage themselves and to get along with others.

Children who see themselves as competent feel capable and powerful. They’re more likely to be resourceful, to believe in themsel

Up Next

How To Forgive Narcissistic Parents: 8 Ways To Heal And Move Forward

How To Forgive Narcissistic Parents: Tips To Find Healing

Dealing with narcissistic parents is tough, and trying to forgive them for the way they have treated you can feel impossible and unfair, especially if they are not sorry for their actions. So, how to forgive narcissistic parents?

Forgiving narcissistic parents is important for your own mental and emotional well-being. Always remember that you are not alone, and there are ways to find peace and healing, even when they don’t change.

Today, we are going to help you navigate the tricky waters of forgiveness, offering 8 practical steps to heal and move forward. Whether you are still struggling with past trauma or dealing with your parents now, be rest assured, these tips can help you feel empowered.

So, are you ready to start? Let’s go!

Up Next

11 Effects Of A Narcissistic Parent on Their Children: Parenting Poison

Effects Of A Narcissistic Parent: Parenting Poison

Growing up with a narcissistic parent can leave deep scars that shape who you become. The effects of a narcissistic parent can sneak into every part of your life, from how you see yourself to how you connect with others.

If you have ever felt like you’re constantly seeking approval, struggling to set boundaries, or dealing with a never-ending fear of abandonment, then you are not alone. These are just a few ways narcissistic parents damage their children.

Today, we are going to explore how it feels to be children of narcissistic parents and the damage they cause.


Up Next

5 Types Of Moms Who Raise Happy, Healthy Kids — According To A Therapist

Different Types Of Moms That Raise Healthy Kids

Wondering what kind of mom helps raise healthy kids? A therapist shares insights on 5 different types of moms who create a nurturing environment for their children.

These women aren’t overindulgent, uninvolved, or authoritarian — but they are not perfect, either. So how do they do it?

I cringe at the word “amazing” when used to describe moms. When I hear it, I think of the women who feel intimidated and inadequate just hearing this overused term. I certainly do. 

Let’s face it, motherhood is not for the weak and squeamish, and even on our best days as mothers we can fail one moment and succeed brilliantly the next.

Up Next

15 Ways To Keep Your Child From Developing An Eating Disorder

Eating Disorders: Ways To Protect Your Child From This

Many of us, including our kids, struggle with unhealthy diets and lack of exercise. This worrying trend leads to children developing an eating disorder, leading experts to believe that our current generation may be less healthy than their parents. Let’s find out more about children and eating disorders.

In this culture, unfortunately, many of us eat diets that aren’t very healthy, and we don’t get enough exercise. That’s true for our kids, too. In fact, experts suggest that this is the first generation that’s less healthy than their parents.

Even worse, when you mix our cultural obsession with thinness with emotional immaturity and how disconnected we often are from our own bodies, it’s a perfect storm for eating disorders.

Guess how many kids growing up in the US today develop some kin