Why The Hardest People To Let Go Of Are The Toxic Ones You Love

Why The Hardest People To Let Go Of Are The Toxic Ones You Love

When they are toxic goodbye seems like a foreign word, as you run in circles with one another. Because it’s never just goodbye when it ends. It’s someone always coming back around. It’s the apology they’ve mastered and forgiving so many times, that even when it pains you whatever they’ve done now, it doesn’t even hurt.

 

It’s dangerous when someone hurts you so much that the pain they cause doesn’t even faze you anymore. When the disappointments become something to expect. When you make plans being surprised if they actually follow through. When the foundation of your expectations with this person is not a matter of if but when the other shoe will drop.

 

When will their personality change from caring about you at one moment and pushing you away from the next? Where suddenly whatever has gone wrong in their life is a result of something you’ve done and the more you try and make it right the more damage you cause.

 

You pull them in close and try and love them but they are emotionally unavailable so you try harder being convinced love is something you should earn. And you think it’s love because you’ve invested so much time and energy and emotions into this thing.

 

It’s a whirlwind of chaos and intense emotions you become addicted to. It’s like you don’t even know what a normal relationship is like after them because someone texting you back, someone keeping their word, someone treating you well and not using you becomes foreign to you.

And you try and keep a brave face like it isn’t affecting you as greatly as it is. But with toxic relationships, it destroys you from the inside out. And you don’t even see the lasting effect it has.

It’s your eyes that grow dull with a blank look.

It’s a heart that is constantly broken.

It’s the words you don’t speak and silence and loneliness become familiar because you’re alone again.

It’s questioning everyone because when the one person you trusted most deceives you, you don’t even know how to build yourself back up after that.

It’s looking at your reflection and you don’t appreciate and love yourself the way you used to simply because the love you gave wasn’t enough for someone.

Because you at your best still fell short of everything they wanted even though you tried so hard to be it.

 

And you did everything you possibly could, only to lose yourself trying to keep someone who was never going to be yours.

You wanted to believe there were an actual connection there and feelings.

You wanted to believe in the false promises and the one days.

You wanted to believe every conversation meant as much to you as it did them and it wasn’t just something to kill time.

Then they became a habit. A part of your everyday routine. Someone who made you look forward to things but someone who also had the ability to ruin your best day.

An ignored text. Walking by you like your a stranger. Saying some snide comment and knowing exactly how to get under your skin.

 

This person who held you without touch.

This person knew exactly what to say and when to say it. There was a moment of promise meeting someone new and moving on, only to get that text or call you’ve never ignored before and you couldn’t seem to now. And they bring you right back to every emotion. They know it. You know it. No matter who you are with, you’re always going to love them more regardless of if they can reciprocate it or not.

And next thing you know, so much time has passed and you’re already in too deep you don’t even know which way to go anymore.

 

Because part of you wants to let go and move on and be with someone you deserve. Someone who respects you and treats you well but then the other half of you doesn’t know what will hurt more letting go or holding onto something like you have for so long.

It’s believing in someone’s good parts and not seeing them for who they are but rather who they can be and you think with enough time and patience maybe they’ll be that person.

But they take pieces of you to make themselves whole and you’re the one that’s left empty.

You think it’s love but if this is love all you learn is to fear it and run the other way because it isn’t supposed to hurt this badly.

It’s every careful step you take because they have you walking on eggshells and any wrong move will lead to another fight of screaming and cursing and it is your fault.

With someone who is toxic, you never look at them with confidence but rather overcome with fear of doing the wrong thing.

 

Anticipating an unfollow or a block or no reason other than they felt like it that day.

It’s the inconsistency of emotions but you should know that isn’t normal. Laughing and smiling and talking every day like your best friends over a few drinks only to ignore you the next week like they don’t know you at all. That isn’t normal.

 

Picking and choosing when to answer and when they want you isn’t normal.

Blowing up your newsfeed after ghosting you isn’t normal.

Saying I love you but then treating you like shit isn’t love and it isn’t normal.

But this person made you think all of these things were normal. This person made you think fucking with you was normal and the games were okay.

I won’t tell you to let him go,

I won’t tell you to not answer his texts.

I won’t tell you, you deserve better.

Because I know you know those things.

What I will tell you is the day you do find the strength to let him go will be the hardest day of your entire life. And the days that turn into weeks and months will hurt too.

There will be times you want to just go back.

But one day when you do begin to heal and realize you’ve always been better off without this person, you’re going to cross paths with them and you’ll finally get the apology you’ve always wanted, you’ll finally get the treatment and respect you’ve always deserved. But by then you won’t need any of it.

Because overcoming a toxic relationship teaches you, you have the ability to beat someone who destroyed you.


Written By Kirsten Corley

Follow Her Work On Facebook

You may also like

You Used To Appreciate Her

This Is When You Are Gonna Miss Her Most

4 Powerful Ways To Make Your Significant Other Feel Significant Again

You’re Losing Her Without Even Realizing It

If you Love her, Don’t Destroy Her

Why The Hardest People To Let Go Of Are The Toxic Ones You Love

Ads

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *



Up Next

10 Unexpected Signs Of Cheating: How To Tell If Your Spouse Is Having An Affair

Unexpected Signs Of Cheating: Beyond the Obvious

If you are googling “surprising and unexpected signs of cheating” at 2 in the morning, then you’ve come to the right place. Well, we all have been there. Suspicion and doubt can sneak up like an uninvited guest when it comes to your spouse; something tells you that something is wrong, but you just can’t put your finger on it.

When it comes to infidelity, it’s not always about the lipstick on the collar or mysterious phone calls at night. There can be many subtle signs of cheating that you might overlook and miss out on.

So go grab some coffee (or something stronger) and explore all the hidden signs you spouse



Up Next

Opening Up: How To Master Self Disclosure In Relationships For Deeper Connection And Understanding

How Self Disclosure in Relationships Can Transform Your Love

Is your relationship thriving or are you struggling to maintain emotional intimacy? The key to a strong, lasting relationship is mastering the art of self disclosure in relationships.

Have you ever shared your deepest secrets with someone you deeply care about? Have you dared to bare your soul and be vulnerable before your partner? If you have, congratulations! You know the secret to building a close, intimate relationship. 

Sharing our innermost thoughts and feelings with someone we love helps build strong bonds, deeper trust and an intense emotional connection.

Self-disclosure is the secret that unlocks the door to true intimacy and understanding. Today, we are going to explore what is self disclosure in psychology, what are the risks and benefits of self disclosur



Up Next

How To Move On From A Situationship? 3 Things That Can Help You

How To Move On From A Situationship? Things That Can Help

If you have ever been in a situationship, you know that it still hurts when it ends. So, how to move on from a situationship? In this article, we are going to talk about some of the best things to do if you’re trying to move on from a situationship.

A “situationship” is a romantic and/or sexual relationship that isn’t formally defined. You may know it by its other pop culture references like “friends with benefits,” “fun buddies,” or “booty call.”

People in situationships generally aren’t exclusively committed to each other and typically aren’t expected to fork over a ton of emotional investment.



Up Next

3 Reasons Why Alcohol Affects Your Relationship And What To Do About It

Alcohol Affects Your Relationship? Critical Reasons Why

Is alcohol impacting your relationship? If your answer is yes, then you’ve come to the right place. This article is going to explore how alcohol affects your relationship, the reasons behind it, and how to cut back on alcohol.

During an interview on the popular podcast The Tim Ferriss Show, famous entrepreneur and businessman Sir Richard Branson once suggested a simple yet important thought experiment to listeners.

We’ll paraphrase that thought experiment here:

Think back to the few biggest mistakes or arguments of your marriage. Now think how many of them occurred when one or both of you were und



Up Next

4 Signs Of Relationship OCD And How To Make Sense Of It

Signs Of Relationship OCD And How To Make Sense Of It

What is relationship OCD and what are the best ways of dealing with relationship OCD? This article is going to talk about all that and more.

Relationship OCD refers to someone who has become consumed with obsessive doubts about their partner and their past.

Experiencing changes in the emotions we feel towards a romantic partner is a natural part of developing an intimate relationship. At the same time, we all might pay more attention to our partner’s flaws as the relationship progresses.

But for people in the grip of relationship OCD,



Up Next

6 Things Single People Are Tired Of Hearing: Hearing It On Repeat

Things Single People Are Tired Of Hearing: Enough Already

Being single is not a crime, nor is it something to feel sorry about. There are so many things single people are tired of hearing, and they just want all those “well-wishers” to just zip it. Let’s explore 6 of the most annoying things single people are sick of hearing, and the things single people hate hearing.

KEY POINTS

Despite their good intentions, family and friends often give harmful advice to single people.

It’s important for daters not to get so overwhelmed that they ignore their own values.

Relationships can progress at different speeds and intensities and stil



Up Next

12 Most Romantic Proposals In Movies To Inspire Your Own Love Scene

Best Proposal Scenes In Movies That'll Make You Cry

Ever notice how Hollywood takes love to another level? They know how to make grand gestures and to prove my point here are some of the best proposal scenes in movies. These will train you to create your own emotional, and beautiful scene!

Whether it’s a dramatic confession on the Empire State Building or a cozy candlelit moment, movies set the bar high for what we expect in love.

Your own proposal might not have had A-list actors or a dreamy lighting crew, but these best movie marriage proposals will make you understand what real love feels like.

So without further ado, let’s get into some of the most romantic movie proposals ever!