Ask yourself, would you destroy her, if you really loved her?
If I ever loved a woman, the more I loved her, the more I wanted to hurt her. Frida was only the most obvious victim of this disgusting trait. – Diego Rivera
You definitely love her.
If you are with her, it definitely means you feel a gamut of emotions for this particular person. You must have also envisioned a life with her. Everything turns topsy-turvy once you start treating her utterly miserable.
When a relationship ages, it often feels mundane and worn out. But the crux of it all is still fresh. We often become unaware of the transition of a pleasurable moment into a habit. It is the habit that feels monotonous, not the person.
Do you remember the first time you laid eyes on her? How she had swept you away, to the land of desire and affection – her sense of humor, her sensitivity, her thoughts, her independent nature; everything about her stirred you. Those numerous moments of palpitating heart at her mere presence, those euphoric feelings every time your eyes met her’s, those sleepless nights when her thoughts kept you awake; everything conjured up to the most enthralling experience of love and longing.
Above all, what intrigued you the most in her was her integrity, her completeness.
If you love her, keep her this way. Keep her beautiful, keep her wild, keep her complete.
After the phase of courtship is over, she is head-over-heels in love with you. You both are lost in the dreamy world of promises and hope. Over time, the ecstatic feeling of being in love, the heat of seduction, the fiery passion gets replaced by feelings of security, warmth, and attachment.
It is in this phase of the relationship when most of us give in to chaos and confusion.
When she fell in love with you, she trusted you. A relationship invariably comes with a concoction of emotions. The standard, the impression you set before she will define her expectations from you.
The least she expects from you is to be real.
If you love her, don’t destroy her.
Everyone has a past. Mostly a person’s past is one which is painful and unacceptable. Everyone comes with their own set of baggage from the past – some of them are too dark and morbid for themselves to handle.
She has her share of scars from the past; she might have her personal issues. If you really feel love towards her, you will automatically feel the urge to hold her, contain her pain and join her in the battle of her life, instead of making her life more unfortunate.
Don’t let her down.
It is understandable that two separate individuals have distinct personalities, a unique set of values, ideas and attitudes; clash is unavoidable. At some point or there will be discordance between you both but don’t escalate it to the point where you think you can sabotage her wishes and desires.
Know her, discover her every moment you explore your relationship.
She expects you to be emotionally present for her. Ghosting her is the worst form of treatment you can give her.
Be there for her as she is there for you. Listen to her when she is a complete mess, comfort her when she is breaking, support her endeavors and embrace her true self.
Stimulate her thoughts, her emotions, her being. Dive into her soul as you’d dive into the cool of the ocean.
If she comes to believe that you need her rather than want her, it will completely wreck her. If she could be there for you selflessly, working through your frenzy, you could too. She is not your savior. You both are each others lesson and inspiration. She needs you, your care, your empathy as much as you need her love and attention.
Selfishness should not make you blind to your own wrongdoings. Neglecting and ignoring her when she desperately needs you, can destroy her the most. This will just trigger her past experience of being abandoned by people who mattered the most.
She will complete you, fix you, without your awareness – just don’t make her an agent to fill the void inside of yourself. Just don’t give up on her.