Have you ever thought about the time when she will not be there in your life? Have you ever thought about the time when you will be losing her, but there will be nothing you can do to make things right, and get her back?
Are you losing her?
It’s the texts you answer at your convenience.
It’s the snaps you look at then put down your phone.
It’s every like when you’re bored because you’re wondering what she’s up to.
It’s every canceled plan when something better comes along.
It’s the attention you give that’s the bare minimum. But she takes it.
Because at least for that moment, she has your time and attention when she’s always given you all of hers.
It’s every surprise you take for granted. Even though, she thought a lot about it for a while. It’s not caring enough to even consider reciprocating those things.
It’s the favor if you need one, that always goes answered every time. Even though she’d never ask the same.
It’s the nights she wishes would turn into the morning but you have some sort of other agenda, as you say goodbye.
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You label her as easy to read. Because the truth is you know if you want her you can have her. And where is the fun in that?
Where is the fun in someone only caring about you?
Where is the fun in honesty?
Where is the fun in love when everyone is chasing after questionable likes?
But the truth is you’re losing her and not even realizing it.
You lose her a little more every time you don’t answer.
You lose her a little more every time you cancel plans.
You lose her a little more every time you choose someone else when the only person she’s ever chosen is you.
You lose her a little more every time you don’t appreciate her.
You lose her a little more every time you take her for granted.
You lose her a little more every time she goes to bed wondering, ‘why aren’t I enough for him?’
But what she doesn’t realize, as these feelings she has for you, blinds her to the truth. She’s more than enough for you. It’s you that isn’t good enough for her.
Because if you were worthy of her, you’d realize her value.
But one day you’ll lose her for good. Because she’s going to get to a point where there’s nothing more she has to offer and she’ll walk away. And it’ll hurt her to do so. Because she looked at you with wide eyes full of faith that depleted over time.
One day she’ll be the one not answering.
One day those snaps you send will be ignored and you’ll send another just in case.
It’ll irk the shit out of you, the moment she starts treating you the way you treated her.
You’ll ask her out and she’ll politely decline.
You’ll blow up her newsfeed and begin to become more interested in what she is up to but more than that who she’s with.
Because it’s not you that’s making her smile anymore.
You’ll miss the nights when she laid beside you and all she ever wanted to do was talk. The silence will kill you, as you wish for just one more conversation.
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You’ll hold onto everything she ever got you and it’ll be a hurtful reminder of the girl who loved you just a little too much.
And maybe you’ll look back and remember there wasn’t a mystery to her. But there was an honesty you’ve never known in someone.
She didn’t play games like the others.
She’s the type of girl that ruins people in the best way and you’ve become just another victim.
And as you fumble through girl after girl, you’ll find something in them all missing. It’ll be in them you look for her but she will never be found.
By Kirsten Corley
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