How would you feel when you are suddenly blacklisted and you don’t even know why. Well, I certainly felt like that when you took me for granted. Took me for granted when all I did was love you with everything I got.
But how can you blame someone when they have no idea about the effort you’ve put in for them? When they find your indulgence a part of your routine? When you’re being taken for granted you cannot expect to get acknowledged or even noticed, right?
To The One Who Took Me For Granted
Dear Past (insert name),
I would not say thanks for coming into my life, but every phase of life teaches you something and you are one of them. It was needed for me to let go of you for my own sanity, it was needed for us to be apart as maybe we both wanted different things from our relationship.
And, it’s certainly needed for me to write this letter as our relationship, and our emotions require clarity for it to break free altogether. And to move on from the pain that I went through because you took me for granted.
The important thing is what cannot be avoided should not be avoided and one of such things is heartbreak though it is wise to be cautious, it is still going to be a foolish decision to avoid falling in love all because one doesn’t want to be hurt.
Love is a mysterious thing. You told me that love hurts. Yes, I agreed with you that love hurts, and no, I am not just agreeing to please you. It hurt really bad because I have been there but I also have a question to ask you, Is it love that hurts? Or is it loving the wrong person?
That’s what you did. You came out of nowhere.
I found you as a special person, someone who was sensitive, intelligent, and shared many common interests with you. I started to smile more, and dream more. Your mere presence would brighten my day. Sometimes you become my partner in crime and sometimes listen to me when I want to let it out.
Maybe that’s why you thought you were the only one who is able to break me into pieces and then again consolidate.
The one who I was sure I would be with the rest of my life.
You were my happily ever after, and I fell in love with everything about you. Everything about you attracted me, even your flaws. Life became beautiful for me, and every day I just wanted to be with you, share hope, and make plans for the future. We talked, dreamt of all that we wanted out of life together, and we realized how much we have in common.
I thought you were the one for me, but then —- the honeymoon period ends. You said ‘together’ which means ‘me and you’ but then why did only you remain? Why was I left in the shadows?.
While some fairy tales end with happy endings, mine did not.
You have taken me for granted, which is what I can still make peace with. But you choose to ignore the things that I have done for you, you didn’t see how I waited for your call or how my heart skipped a beat when I saw your smile. You didn’t notice how much I craved watching you happy, listening to whatever you needed to say.
You took me for granted so much that you didn’t realize I was the one who stood by your side when everyone showed their backs. You were too busy to realize I was waiting for you to talk, to share with me how your day was. Didn’t see my disappointment when you didn’t acknowledge my support. When you forgot my existence.
Do you remember the time you said sorry? Do you remember the time you made plans to spend time with me? Do you remember the time you compromised your favorite for mine? You Cannot. Because there isn’t any.
There is always someone who cares deeply enough to walk any length to see you heal, but oftentimes our pain engulfs us too deeply, blinding us to see or even accept the help that we need.
We walked together through it all until I came out of my shell. I was there through some of your worst days and some of your best ones. But it was never good enough. You couldn’t see the efforts I have put into this relationship, you couldn’t see my tears and you couldn’t see me drifting apart.
Instead, you destroyed me.
Yet, I believed in the best in all situations. Maybe I was extremely anxious and paranoid about being abandoned by those close to them.
Do you remember how in our relationship one was the taker while the other was the supplier? I sabotaged my own necessities to adjust to your needs, while you failed to give me the slightest hope that things will change. The only thing you did was you took me for granted.
I desperately tried to ignore the warning signs, casually “forgetting” events, being chronically late, and putting your ‘bros’ before me. I tried to hold on to the feeling that had hooked me up in the first place. But you just put me at the bottom of the priority list.
Instead, you turned into my worst nightmare.
Have you ever felt like you were invisible? Like you didn’t matter and were worthless? Like you weren’t good enough for anyone? Moreover, have you ever felt taken for granted? Maybe not, because that’s the way you used to make me feel, to the point where I would question my own self-worth.
For the longest time, you made me believe you actually cared about me. As much as I believed that I was someone you would be making some effort for, your spending time with friends on the date of my birthday says a completely different thing.
But of course, it was never your fault and I was too sensitive, as you precisely put in. Maybe I was at fault when I spent many late nights thinking about what was and what could have been. I didn’t realize then that you took me for granted.
It is really surprising that at one point in my life, I was dream-oriented, driven by goals, and full of life. Now all I feel is that I live only to obtain the needs of you. At one point, you seemed to care about me, but now my life is caring for you.
It took me some time to realize that your mind transitioned itself from “having a partner” into “having a thing,” and your unwillingness to spend a lot of time together or pay sincere attention to me anymore.
I learned to accept the truth that you wouldn’t change and it’s made me stronger. Understanding this gives me the immense strength to see how thanks to my suffering I have tested my love and resilience. Using the half part of the energy required to maintain a one-sided relationship I can build an entirely new life for me, happier with myself and with others, in a life with no room for a relationship where I am taken for granted.
I was at fault when you stopped including me in your plans, or when my opinions didn’t matter. Maybe your time was much more important than mine as communicating even basic things disappeared from our relationship. But you know these ‘faults’ of mine helped me to join the broken pieces together. It might sound crazy to you but I thank you for the new ‘me’.
Thank you for the fact that you took me for granted.
By now I feel more assertive and you own my reality. You taught me how other people can make you doubt how you perceive reality and takes you for granted, I won’t fall for it again. I can truly see, dream, and plan for the future I want to have which doesn’t include completing your dream, and I can continue to move in that direction.
You will soon see those old emotions almost don’t exist anymore. It is a lot easier and faster to get through things and get myself out of unpleasant emotional times without being weighed down by the past.
When you don’t give your power to others who try to rattle you by evoking a negative emotion, you won’t let what they said or did eat at you after. I realized what is taking place and I was able to redirect my emotional power to the way I would like to feel, rather than the way you wanted me to feel to meet your demands.
Thank you for making me stronger than before, I will be able to stand clear and firm with my boundaries. I will be focusing on getting better clarity all around me, my sense of purpose, and then live that purpose.
One day you’ll look back and you’ll finally see me and the things I did for you. Just a piece of advice for you, It’s hard to find people who will pick you up when you’re down, or support you through it all. The good and the bad. When you find them, cherish them and treat them as such. Time is good to you…when you are good to others.
You’ll realize that the whole time you were pushing that girl away who you should have been fighting for. Now you’ve lost the girl that loved you unconditionally. All because you took me for granted.
The girl whom you lost forever.