Narcissists, Flying Monkeys and Smear Campaigns: How To Deal With It

“The behind your back smear campaign is a narcissist’s specialty.”

So you’ve managed to escape from the evil clutches of a narcissist. Congrats! But the nightmare isn’t over yet. The moment you leave a narcissist, they will immediately launch a  smear campaign to tarnish your name and reputation. By talking trash about you, spreading lies and letting others know how horrible you are, a narcissist will feel vindicated and satisfied regardless of how your relationship ended. These smear campaigns are usually deliberate, calculated and ugly operations that aim to spread poison in your life and your networks.

And to make it worse, the narcissist will employ the help of ‘flying monkeys’ to get the job done. Flying monkeys are friends, victims, enablers and other toxic people who make the narcissist feel special and powerful. These flying monkeys will do whatever the narcissist asks and will not hesitate to spread lies about you or to abuse you. If this is something you are facing right now, then we have the right solution for you.

Read on to know exactly how you can deal with a narcissist smear campaign and flying monkeys and live your life peacefully.

Smear campaigns

When a toxic person can no longer control you, they will try to control how others see you. The misinformation will feel unfair, but stay above it, trusting that other people will eventually see the truth just like you did. – Jill Blakeway

Narcissist smear campaigns are one of the most difficult things to deal with after leaving narcissistic abuse.

What makes it worse is when they are enabled by their flying monkeys and you get abuse by proxy.

How do you not get tangled up in the web of lies and deceit that a narcissist creates when it’s aimed at destroying you and your reputation?

It really hurts because you think:

This doesn’t have to necessarily be a person you’re in a relationship with.

It can be your boss or colleague at work.

This could be a friend.

It could be a toxic parent.

A narcissist has a deep in a wound, a childhood trauma, that leaves them with such a deep sense of shame.

If that pain threatens to come to the surface it will completely overwhelm them.

It will deny their entire existence – this grandiose persona they have created – to hide that wounded child inside.

If you start to break away from that narcissistic person and it’s clear they’re losing control of you, they fear you can see them for who they are.

And can go from the heroic protagonist one minute to the wounded victim the next.

They must win at all costs.

By that I mean they have to control the narrative.

They fear you’re going to reveal the truth about them.

So, they’ve got to control that and make it their truth, their narrative, which is that they are the victim.

You abused them, not the other way around.

They are out to destroy you before you can destroy them.

And because they want to win at all costs they engage flying monkeys to help them do their work.

I love that term.


Flying monkeys

“There is a difference between supporting someone and feeding someone’s narcissism. One is support and the other is not.” – Fathom

I’m old enough to remember the Wizard of Oz.

For those of you who aren’t, the Wicked Witch literally had these flying monkeys that would go and do her dirty work.

And it was only after Dorothy threw water at the wicked witch and she melted away, was the spell broken.

The flying monkeys apologized to her and said they were only doing as there were told.

Flying Monkeys are those people who are around the narcissist, also known as Enablers, that do the narcissist’s bidding.

They’re either very naive and get manipulated by the narcissist to believe their story and repeat the lies about you.

They may even betray you and tell others that you are unstable.

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Vivian McGrath
Vivian McGrath is a TV Exec Producer making documentaries for US/UK and Australian television networks. She’s a survivor of domestic violence, motivational speaker, author, and empowerment coach. She helps women ready to recover from abusive relationships fall back in love with themselves and never settle for anything less than they deserve ever again. If that sounds like you then join her VIP The Power Within You program here:
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