Have your friends ever called you a “simp” for acting nice with your crush or girlfriend? Did you get tons of comments on social media calling you a “simp” after complimenting an attractive girl? So what is a simp and are you one? Is it bad to be a “simp”? Let’s delve in and learn about the signs of a simp.
What is a simp?
If you are desperate to gain a woman’s attention and will go to any length to please them, like giving them expensive gifts, attention, time and ego boost, at the cost of your own self-esteem, then you are a simp. The term simp is a modern day version of the notorious Nice Guy. Derived from the word “simpleton”, a simp is someone who can do anything to receive affection and attention from a girl. While there are different iterations of the term, according to social media and meme culture a simp is a foolish and silly man. Some of the most common signs of a simp include –
- Mental weakness
- Lack self-respect
- Thirsty for women
- Avoid friends and family to gain sexual attention from women
Simps are always available, excessively attentive and extremely submissive to their crush, girlfriend or any women they find attractive. However, despite all their efforts they obviously fail to gain the desired attention from the opposite sex and are often overlooked by women. The term is widely used on the internet to insult and troll men who are gullible and desperate, yet hope to win a girl’s attention.
Related: Why Girls Hate ‘Nice’ Guys
Simps typically have poor self-esteem & willpower and often see women as superior to them. They are overly desperate for external validation and can go to a great extent like paying money to female streamers or “cam girls” just to have those women mention their name. Such men become compliant, subservient and cringey in order to impress women instead of focusing on improving themselves. They use fake niceness to trap women for romantic and sexual purposes.
While almost solely applicable to men, the term can also be applied to women at times depending on their behavior for attracting the attention of men.
So are you a simp? Do you display the signs of a simp?
Signs you’re simping
Are you afraid you are simping for a girl (or a boy)? Are you overly infatuated with someone and willing to do anything for them? If you are not sure about simping for someone, then here are a few telltale signs of a simp that you should know about –
1. You think women are superior to you
Do you believe your crush is better than you? If you put women on a pedestal then you will become a simp whether you like it or not. Making sacrifices for your partner and loved ones is commendable. But when you let women push you over and control you, then you are simply asking them to walk over you. And that’s totally what a simp does.
While you may want to appear harmless to women by appearing submissive and inferior, it is only making you lose respect from those you are attracted to. No woman would ever choose a man who is lesser than them and someone they can’t respect. Being inferior to a woman is one of the most fundamental signs of a simp.
Related: Why Nice Guys Stay Single
2. You worship your crush
Paying attention to attractive women is natural. That’s what men do. But are you available all the time, invest all your money, time and energy into impressing them? Are you devoted to women you find attractive, even when they are clearly not interested in you? Then you are undoubtedly a simp, my good sir. Simps are overly attached and clingy to women.
3. You pretend to be nice
Ah yes, the good old nice guy – he is now freshly packaged as the simp in the era of memes and social media dominance. You act like you are a really nice and polite person who is sensible and sensitive, but in reality you are simply manipulative who is trying to trick women to attract them sexually. Although you are rather aggressive and impolite in reality, you put on a facade of niceness to score brownie points with women. Being overly nice to women is one of the signs of a simp.
4. You degrade yourself to please strangers
You try to impress women who you don’t even know. Whether in real life or online, you think all women should like you due to your poor self-esteem. While we should respect all people regardless of their gender or sex, you go to extreme lengths to overvalue women and are willing to obey whatever they ask you to. Such unhealthy behavior makes you spend tons of money on women online only so that they will like you. If that doesn’t make you a simp I don’t know what does.
5. You see yourself as a savior of women
Do you fancy yourself as a knight in shining armor trying to save a damsel in distress? While it may look like you are being a hero by trying to protect women’s honor by complimenting them, respecting them or fighting with trolls online, you do all of that for a specific purpose. To gain sexual attention from women. Yes, all men should respect and protect women at all costs, but not to gain any favors. Real men empower women to fight their own battles and stand up for them when needed. Simps fight for women even when a woman doesn’t need any protection. See the difference? That’s one of the signs of a simp.
6. You want women to like you
You can do anything to get your crush to love you and this goal drives all your “simpy” behavior. While it is okay to want women to like you, when you plan your every move to get them to like you, you are just being manipulative and controlling. And women can sense that. Although doing what they want, spending money and time on them and giving them oodles of attention can get them to like you, they will never fall in love with you as long as you keep being a simp.
Related: Why Nice Guys Lose In Dating
7. You don’t want women to impress you
Because you are already impressed by the simple fact that she is a woman. And if she is a pretty woman, you will waste no time dancing to her tunes. As you have an unhealthy one-sided attachment, you don’t feel the need that your woman needs to put in the same effort to win your heart. As long as they look pretty and keep ignoring you, you will keep simping for them for the rest of your life.
Can you identify these signs of a simp in yourself?
What is a simp behavior?
Still need more hints on how a simp behaves in the wild? Well, if you are wondering what are things simps do, here are some more signs you are a simp –
- You are always willing to go out of your way to impress women who reject you or don’t like you
- You don’t really know how to charm or attract a woman so you try to impress them by devaluing yourself
- You allow women to dominate and rule you just so you can get a text back from them
- You are blind to any mistake or wrongdoing your crush may make. To you, they are always perfect
- You are extremely attached and overly invested in your relationship with your girlfriend
- You are always available for her and get excited and immediately reply back when she texts you
- You never argue, disagree with or confront the woman you are simping for
- You have no problem putting the needs of a woman before your own needs, even though they have friend-zoned you
- You cannot accept any slander, insult or defamation of any woman, whether online or offline
- You are easily manipulated by women and do what they want you to
- You become angry and frustrated when you don’t get attention from women you are simping for
- You look at women as a reward or a prize that you can earn, not as a human being you should understand and relate to
- You are not interested in improving yourself and making yourself more attractive for women
- You never speak your mind in your relationship as you’re afraid your date will leave you
Do any of these signs of a simp seem familiar? Honestly answer to yourself – am I a simp? Or am I simply an honorable gentleman?
Are you a simp or a gentleman?
Respecting women doesn’t necessarily make you a simp. It makes you a gentleman. But there is a huge difference between simping and being a gentleman. A simp shows that they respect women when in reality they have unrealistic views & want something in return. A gentleman, on the other hand, is genuinely kind, empathetic and compassionate without having any ulterior motive.
A gentleman has a lot of self-respect and will never disrespect themselves to gain the attention of other women. They value themselves, their family and their friends. While a simp can easily humiliate and devalue himself just to get a woman to notice them. Moreover, when their crush is nearby, they will gladly avoid their friends and forget about their loved ones.
Gentlemen are honorable, courteous and chivalrous who have skills, goals and passions. Simps are manipulative “nice guys’ ‘ who respect women only to impress them. This becomes even more evident when you know the signs of a simp. No wonder women find gentlemen more charming than simps.
Is being a simp really that bad?
Is it not? Is impressing a woman at the cost of your self-esteem and self-respect truly worth it? Yes, we should always go to great lengths for the person we love – for our partner, our spouse, our loved ones. But being a simp, it’s not about love for you. Is it? It’s about attention and the honest, harsh truth – sex. That’s what you truly want. You don’t want to improve yourself and develop a healthy relationship because that will take too much effort. You find degrading yourself for some promise of sex more convenient. How can that ever be good for your mental and emotional well-being in the long run?
You will always keep chasing and pursuing women without ever having a taste of a satisfying relationship. There is a good reason why the term has become a popular slang online and why so many women have learned to identify the signs of a simp. Doing things for women you are attracted to is not wrong. The problem begins when you put them on a pedestal and put yourself down.
Now that you know the signs that you are a simp, you need to learn how to overcome your simping behaviors and become a real gentleman for your own good.
Related: Why Nice Guys Aren’t Good Men
How to stop being a simp
Well, most of us have simped for someone at least once in our lives. Thankfully, we were made aware that we were exhibiting the signs of a simp by our friends and loved ones and eventually, we realized how to become a man who deserves respect.
Here are a few ways to stop being a simp and change how you see yourself and approach women & relationships –
1. Stop being desperate to get noticed by women. Avoid bending over backwards as it makes you seem like you have nothing better to do.
2. Don’t be available for your crush or girlfriend all the time. Balance your time properly between your partner, family & friends and your hobbies.
3. Stop seeking attention, appreciation and validation from women. Tell yourself that you are worthy of love and respect and give yourself the love you seek from others.
4. Set healthy boundaries and be assertive about what is acceptable to you and what is not. Be open and honest about what you like and dislike instead of expecting her to magically realize what’s on your mind.
5. Focus on self-improvement by identifying your weaknesses and strengths. Learn new skills and pursue your passions. But personal growth should not be motivated by your need for impressing women. Do it for yourself
6. Practice self-control and have patience. You don’t need to be super excited about showering your crush with compliments, praise and attention. Detach from attachment and do the right thing at the right time.
7. Avoid social media apps and unfollow all pretty women on Instagram who you don’t know personally. Stay away from streamers and ghost any girl you may simp for in general. Going no contact will help you gain better control over your unhealthy behaviors.
8. Build a better social life offline by investing your time and energy on your real friends and family – people who love and support you without asking for anything in return. Build healthy non-sexual relationships.
But most of all, you need to realize that you should respect and be kind to all human beings (and animals) for the sake of being a better, more evolved and mature individual. Not for getting anything in return.
Don’t seek attention, earn respect instead
Women don’t like men who don’t have a strong spine. While you shouldn’t be an a-hole, carry yourself with respect, pride and dignity. Focus on your goals and pursue them to build a better life for yourself. And the moment you start focusing more on yourself, women will get more attracted to you. That’s just how it works.
Women like men who are passionate about their life and their loved ones. Not someone whose only goal in life is to get their attention. That’s just creepy.
If you want a high quality woman to love, you have to become a high quality man first. Those are the rules and I didn’t make them up.
Stop being a simp, and be awesome instead.