5 Ways To Make Her Happy (Bye Bye, Nice Guy)

make her happy

Are you a nice guy? Is being nice and flexible affecting your relationship? Although you should always strive to be a “good man, being a ‘nice guy’ can kill your relationship. If you think your niceness is making her pull away, then here are 5 ways you can fix your relationship and make her attracted to you.

Note: Before we go ahead, kindly note that these tips apply to women, as well, taught from childhood to be the “nice girl.” If that’s you, flip she to he, her to him.

“Just because you are a nice guy, doesn’t mean you are a good man.” – Zyanya Torres

Last week’s gist was… “Nice guy” behavior has its roots in momma-pleasing behavior from childhood. And as a result, she resents you for it.

So what’s a nice guy to do?
– How do you make her happy?
– How do you stop her hating you for being a nice guy?

Read: What Women Really Want In A Man: The Player Vs. The Nice Guy

1. No More ‘Mr. Nice Guy’

FIRST is obvious, stop being a “nice guy.”

Be yourself. A complete human being who lives in the full range of his emotions – from grief to joy. “Nice guy” is a mask.

You can’t always be the guy who “gets it right” with her. It’s impossible and exhausting to maintain. It diminishes you and your relationship. Notice when you’re in the “nice guy” pattern.

5 Ways To Make Her Happy (Bye Bye, Nice Guy)
STOP Being A Nice Guy

2. Empower Yourself

“The power you have is to be the best version of yourself you can be, so you can create a better world.” – Ashley Rickards

SECOND, go directly to the source of what you really want – your own happiness.

“Nice guy” is the back door. “Empowered man” is the front door.

This means speaking your truth and asking her for what you want. Most important, is to do it kindly and lovingly.

Consider the risk of saying to her:

“I want to spend more quality time with you.”
“I want to be more physically intimate with you.”
“I want you to not pull away from me, even when you’re upset.”

Read: Why Girls Hate ‘Nice’ Guys

3. Experience Pain

“Where there is love, there is vulnerability to pain.” – Laura Ramirez

THREE, feel the terror of her not loving you.

Feel the hole in your heart when she turns away from you. Or when she says no, I don’t want to be physically intimate with you now.

“An absence, the decline of a dinner invitation, an unintentional coldness, can accomplish more than all the cosmetics and beautiful dresses in the world [or ‘nice guy’ behavior.]”
-Marcel Proust

What Proust said leads us to…

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Stuart Motola

Stuart Motola specializes in helping individuals and couples attract and maintain a fulfilling partnership. He helps individuals attract who they seek (i.e. date more effectively), kill the voice of desperation and aloneness, and know the difference between a love that makes you big versus a love that makes you small. He teaches couples how to repair after conflict, cut unconscious cycles of projection and blame, communicate more responsibly, and to take risks to reignite passion and aliveness. Stuart has shared his expertise as a coach, author, speaker, and facilitator throughout the world and wrote the #1 Amazon best-selling book “Fixing You Is Killing Me: A Conscious Roadmap To Knowing When To Save And When To Leave Your Relationship.”View Author posts