The Only Quality That Matters In A Man


The Only Quality That Matters In A Man

Every man is different and so are the qualities of those men. There are many attributes that can define a man in their professional and personal life and those attributes differ while women’s perspective of the quality in a man is in question. But there is one best quality of a man that actually matters for all men out there. Ladies if you’ve found that one person with this quality, don’t let him go.

The reason why so many women struggle to get the relationship they want is that they go after guys who are simply incapable of ever giving it to them. Have you ever wondered about the only quality that matters in a man?

We get swept up in the wrong things (the damage cases who are just oh so swoon-worthy), and lose sight of what actually matters, of the things that actually determine whether a relationship will last.

We tell ourselves all sorts of lies in order to hang onto something we know isn’t right for us but can’t seem to let go of, because being alone seems like a worse fate.

There are several universal qualities, a life partner should have, but for this article, I want to just focus on one quality that matters in a man.

Read 28 Fun Questions to Ask a Guy That He’ll Love

I remember the exact moment I knew my husband was the one. After about a month of everything being perfect (as they usually are in the beginning), we hit our first conflict. It was nothing major; we just started seeing areas where our personalities clashed and how we process things differently.

I tend to be more intellectual and direct and he’s more emotional and his thoughts can be all over the place. I would get impatient by it, and my impatience was hurtful to him. The details don’t really matter, what matters is I remember the way he brought the issue up and how sincere he was in wanting to work through things in order to get to a better place of understanding.  

It was a shock to my system, I had never experienced such a thing. In the past, I had always either been easily discarded or got the message that I needed to change and if I didn’t, he would leave.

I have seen countless variations of this kind of scenario: girl is dating guy, things are going great (again, as they often do in the beginning), but then they hit that inevitable point of conflict — maybe she acts needy or maybe he gets distant but suddenly things aren’t as seamless as they were the week before.

Then he decides he can’t hang anymore and tells her he “doesn’t have time for a relationship” or he can’t give her what she needs. The girl racks her brain trying to figure out what she did wrong and what she could have done differently. And then the classic question that has been asked by so many women before: He was so into me at first, what happened? 

She thinks if she hadn’t been so needy if she had been a little more chilled out if she didn’t do this and instead did that. Really, the only way things would have turned out differently is if she behaved perfectly according to his script if she never disagreed with him or expressed unhappiness if she was perfectly in alignment with his thoughts and what he wants in a partner.

That sounds reasonable, right? (That’s sarcasm in case it didn’t come across!)

Read 3 Frustrating and Ridiculous Ways Men Test Women While Dating

If a guy leaves when things get a little rocky, it means he is lacking in the most important quality that you need in a partner and that is a

Man who is committed not only to you, but to making it work.

quality in a man
Quality of a man

It’s easy to be in a relationship when everything is all sunshine and roses. The truth comes out after time goes on … when you let your guards down … when you can be more of yourself instead of the absolute best, most behaved, and restrained version of yourself.

Even the best couples don’t seamlessly fit together. There is always a certain degree of work involved in order to create that deep and meaningful connection and it has to come from both people.

When a guy is ready to settle down and sees you as a good potential partner, he wants to make it work. He wants to overcome the differences, to get to a place of better understanding. When a guy isn’t serious, or if he just doesn’t like you enough, then he’ll find any excuse to leave. The ones that are worth it are the ones who find reasons to stay.

My husband and I are so different. The way we think and feel is different, the way we communicate is different. At the beginning of our relationship, this definitely caused problems but now, after really committing to working on it, we have hit this amazing place of understanding and we are so much more in sync.

The differences still exist but we were able to come to a place where we can meet in the middle. Even when things got difficult, I wasn’t any less sure he was the guy for me because of how deeply committed he was to make it work. That is why this commitment is the only quality that matters in a man.

Read 14 Signs You Have Finally Met A Good Guy

At the beginning of our relationship, consumed with the fear that this one would end in the same way so many had before, I expressed my fear that he would just decide it was too much and would leave. And he said, “Look, if it ends, it will be because we both tried our hardest and did all we could and it just couldn’t work. I don’t think that will happen, but that is the only way this wouldn’t work out.”

His words were reassuring, I had never experienced a commitment like that before, but of course, I had to deal with my fears and insecurities internally, but that’s a separate topic for another time!

A big mistake I see women making is blaming themselves when a relationship falls apart. They torture themselves with could haves and should-haves.

The Only Quality That Matters In A Man
The Only Quality That Matters In A Man

I should have been less needy, I should have been more agreeable, I could have been more supportive, etc. Yeah, you could have done all that but it wouldn’t have mattered if he wasn’t committed to making it work.

There will always be differences, there will always be problems, you will not always behave exactly how he wants a partner to behave (same for him).

Read 4 Reasons Why Men Just Won’t Commit To You

A relationship isn’t about finding the perfect match, it’s about finding someone with who you can form a meaningful, lasting partnership. Notice the word form. It’s an active process, it doesn’t just exist. It’s about working together, being a team, and working together to overcome the challenges.

Some people have deal-breakers and that’s that. Maybe it’s religion or where to live or lifestyle preferences. But all the other stuff- personality quirks, your nature, your ways of interacting in a social setting, your fundamental traits… either he’s in it or he’s not. And if he’s not, then there is nothing you can do.

Written by: Sabrina Alexis
Originally appeared on: Thought Catalog
Republished with permission.
Only Quality That Matters In Man Pin
The Only Quality That Matters In A Man
Quality that matters in a man Pin
The Only Quality That Matters In A Man
  • Workplace Bullying: How To Deal With Bullies At Work
  • Lack Of Individuation: From Codependent Chameleon To True Self
  • The Rise in Armchair Psychologists on Social Media
  • 30+ Inspiring Quotes About Forgiveness To Let Go Of The Painful Past
Up Next

5 Simple Phrases That Will Make Your Husband Feel Loved

Phrases Make Husband Feel Loved

He is the man of your dreams, and just like you, he needs admiration. But, how to make your husband feel loved? Here are some subtle and right words to say to the person you love.

There are so many articles written about what wives need to stay happy but rarely do we talk about what to do to make your husband feel loved.

It’s not that husbands aren’t important. It’s just that the old adage ‘a happy wife means happy household’ is very important to men. And the adage is accurate so they work hard to do what they need to do to keep their household happy.

And one of the things they do is to ignore their own needs and ask very little of their wives. And doing that over a long period of time can lead to their own unhappiness and resentment and can cause a marriage to really struggle.

Do you prefer being ‘normal’ than being extraordinary? Would you rather do your work and be done with it instead of leading a project? Then you just might have a delta male personality.

According to the Socio Sexual Hierarchy created by Vox Day (Theodore Robert Beale), the delta male is a normal man who contributes to society and is proud of his contribution. He may not be an extraordinary leader like the alpha, but he gets the work done and makes sure that society functions smoothly. 

Let’s take a deep dive and understand what the delta male personality is and what characteristics he has so that you can identify if you are a Delta male or not.

Men don’t feel emotional pain. Or so we have been taught. The reality is men can get depressed, anxious, and suicidal. Mental illness in men is an alarming issue and we need to pay more attention to the signs of mental health issues in men during this men's mental health month.

Men's mental health issues are a public health concern that affects millions of men across the globe, yet it is a silent epidemic that is desperately begging for attention. Adult men, especially men in their 50s, suffer from a range of mental disorders but they choose to stay silent. As men, our self-esteem and sense of self-worth is closely tied to what society considers to be a success -

  • Career accomplishments
  • Financial security
  • Social reputation
  • Ability to provide for the family

Did you know over 40% of men do not talk about their mental health issues? In fact, according to men's mental health statistics, most of them report seeking medical help only when struggling with thoughts of self-harm or suicide. Men's mental health is an increasingly serious issue that we need to talk about openly without any judgment, criticism or shame.

In our complex and flawed society, men still lack a safe space to talk about their emotional and mental issues. No, we don’t talk about men's mental health. We simply tell them to “man up” because “

Up Next

How Emotional Are The 12 Zodiac Signs?


We all get emotional at times, albeit some of us are emotional way too more than the rest. Some are well adept at keeping their emotional side a secret behind a strong exterior of practicality, while others have their feelings near the surface, all the time. Nonetheless, the way we manage our emotions depends upon our personality and zodiacs say a lot about our personality traits. So, let's find out how emotional are the zodiac signs!

Each zodiac sign tries to deal with emotions in a specific way and it will be an interesting and what we hope, even an insightful read to know how emotional are we according to our zodiac signs. Let's dig in.