8 Signs A Man Is The Source Of His Own Misery: Self-Sabotaging Behaviors

 / 

, ,
Signs A Man Is The Source Of His Own Misery: Self-Sabotage

Ever wonder why he’s always gloomy and unhappy? These 8 signs reveal how he might be the source of his own misery, with self-sabotaging behaviors being an obstacle his own path to happiness.

Self-sabotage is often the biggest obstacle to happiness.

Self-sabotaging behaviors, negative mindsets, and the absence of emotional intelligence can unknowingly pave the path to a cycle of unhappiness. While external circumstances influence our success and well-being, the biggest obstacles to happiness are often found within.

Signs A Man Is The Source Of His Own Misery
8 Signs A Man Is The Source Of His Own Misery: Self-Sabotaging Behaviors

Some people cannot accept this responsibility, and these are the people who blame others and external factors for problems that are likely within their own control. 

Read more here: 8 Mindset Shifts To Stop Repetitive Destructive Thoughts

Here are 8 painfully honest signs a man is the source of his own misery

1. He doesn’t take responsibility for his actions

The most attractive words a man can say are I did it, I could have done better, I am sorry. These expressions signify ownership of mistakes, acknowledgment of a mark that was missed and the person hearing them feels relief that a problem is on its way to being solved and a particular box has been checked. 

But when a man blames external factors for his misfortunes, others for doing or not doing, and makes excuses and lengthy explanations he perpetuates a cycle of powerlessness.

Both his and yours. He is waiting for you to change and you are hoping he will be the change. Victim mindset, blame-shifting, and defensiveness all rob him of agency, and foster a sense of helplessness and confusion, trapping him in a perpetual state of unhappiness.

2. He doesn’t follow through on his promises 

Regardless of his broad shoulders, disarming smile, and charm, when he has an excuse for lateness, or absence and repeatedly lets you down, you peg him as undependable and untrustworthy and move on to the person who follows through.

As you might imagine, this man is the source of shallow relationships that don’t get off the ground or end well, which creates a cycle of his and others’ unhappiness.

3. He has a negative mindset

You have heard that thoughts have a profound impact on emotions and behaviors, and the man who consistently harbors a negative mindset — dwelling on past failures, expecting the worst, and magnifying shortcomings — essentially poisons his well of happiness.

This pessimistic outlook distorts reality and maintains a cycle of self-defeat and unhappiness.

4. He surrounds himself with negative people

You can’t avoid adopting some of the traits and personalities of the people you spend the most time with.

Whether it’s toxic friends, pessimistic colleagues, or unsupportive family members he will become more like them over time and essentially bathe in their pool of negativity. These relationships drain energy and reinforce his negative patterns, further fueling his unhappiness.

5. He has no boundaries

Boundaries are essential for maintaining healthy relationships and safeguarding personality growth and well-being. However, a man who fails to set boundaries for himself allows others to trample over his emotional and physical limits, leading to his resentment and burnout.

His lack of boundaries also reflects the absence of self-respect. So, while he is desperate for the attention and care of others, he receives the opposite, contributing to unhappiness and dissatisfaction.

6. He disregards others’ boundaries

The man who doesn’t set boundaries is likely to be unaware or dismissive of the boundaries set by others.

He may push past someone’s comfort zone, ignore their need for space, or invalidate their feelings — essentially undermining trust and intimacy in relationships. This disregard damages relationships and perpetuates a cycle of conflict and unhappiness.

7. He lacks emotional intelligence

The man who doesn’t know and manage his emotions accurately or recognize emotions in others may laugh inappropriately or be unresponsive to another person’s suffering, either hijacking the tone of an event or showing a lack of empathy.

The result of this poor emotional communication is disconnection and alienation from the people he wants to be close to.

 Without learning emotional intelligence, the man will continue the cycle of hurting others and himself. The deficit doesn’t end with lost relationships. The man who refuses to learn emotional intelligence will likely manage stress poorly, live in denial, and have trouble following through with his intentions.

8. He won’t try to heal

Men are famous for not seeking a therapist, reading self-help, or taking advice. They consider it a weakness to ask for help and blunder through problems. As a result, they dismiss their partner’s request for change and face reality only when the walkaway wife is through the door or he has created a lifetime of unhappiness for many. Often it is just too late.

Addressing these signs requires courage, self-awareness, and a willingness to confront uncomfortable truths. It involves taking ownership of one’s thoughts, behaviors, and relationships, and actively striving for personal growth and healing. While the journey towards happiness may be arduous, it is ultimately within our control. 

By recognizing and addressing self-sabotaging patterns, men can break free from the confinement of their own making and embark on a path toward genuine fulfillment and contentment.

When a man is the cause of his own unhappiness, he tends to resist changes which may stop his personal-growth.

Want more relationship tips and life lessons? Join my newsletter Reclaim Your Day With Reta.

Read more here: 5 Ways You’re Sabotaging Your Life And Relationships

Did you relate to signs a man is the source of his own misery? Share your thoughts in the comments below!


Written by: Reta Faye Walker
Originally appeared on: Your Tango

source of his own misery
8 Signs A Man Is The Source Of His Own Misery: Self-Sabotaging Behaviors

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply



Up Next

How to Stop Procrastination (and The Psychology Behind Why You Do It)

How to Stop Procrastination And The Science Behind It

If you are someone who struggles with procrastination, then you have come to the right place. This article is going to talk about the science behind procrastinating and how to stop procrastination. So, are you ready to do a deep dive into this?

You’ve probably heard of all the popular productivity “hacks” that promise to help you finally beat procrastination, like:

The Pomodoro Technique

The Eisenhower Matrix

The Pareto Principle

Parkinson’s Law

Habit Stacking

Like a Pokémon master, you’ve collected them all.



Up Next

The Zeigarnik Effect: The Reason You Feel Constantly Overwhelmed

The Zeigarnik Effect: Why You Feel Constantly Overwhelmed

Ever wonder why your to-do list seems to weigh you down, even when you haven’t touched it in hours? That’s the Zeigarnik effect in play! It’s the sneaky reason you can’t stop thinking about unfinished tasks and feel constantly overwhelmed. But don’t worry, we will discuss how to overcome Zeigarnik effect.

You know how having too many open Chrome tabs bogs your computer down?

The same happens to your brain.

Unfinished tasks keep “running” in the background.

It’s called the Zeigarnik Effect.

Here’s how it works and what to do about it…



Up Next

4 Types of Emotional Attachments: Recognize the Right Bond You Are Cultivating

Powerful Types of Emotional Attachments: Find Yours!

In a world where emotional attachments are being tagged as overrated nowadays, soft-hearted souls still yearn to find perfect emotional bonds.

Emotions, alongside trust and resilience, are foundational pillars of a thriving relationship. As our post-modern society undergoes significant shifts in how we connect with others, understanding emotional attachment styles has become crucial.

Most of us fail to recognize the type of emotion we are feeling for someone and fall into wrong attachments. This way things become toxic and harm us in many ways.

To create a balance and enjoy that deep passionate connection you must recognize the type of emotional attachment you are in. Keep following this blog so together we can find a genuine connection and



Up Next

Struggling To Relax? Check These 7 Key ‘Stresslaxing Symptoms’ Now!

Warning 'Stresslaxing Symptoms' To Watch Out For!

In our fast-paced world, even taking time off can feel like another chore. When relaxing actually creates more stress, it becomes a problem. So how can we escape the clutches of stresslaxing symptoms?

It’s no secret that relaxing can be difficult, especially in the modern world. Many people struggle to unwind due to high stress levels, demanding jobs, constant connectivity through technology, and the pressure to always be productive.

Defined by the Urban Dictionary, “stresslaxation” is a paradoxical state when you are too stressed out to relax because not working is what’s stressing you out and it makes you even more stressed.

People feel guilty if they take time off,



Up Next

15+ Dress for Success Quotes to Boost Your Confidence and Inspire Your Life

Dress For Success Quotes To Inspire Confidence In Life

What we wear isn’t just about fashion—it’s a reflection of our mindset and ambition. Take a look at some of the “dress for success quotes” to influence confidence and, ultimately, success!

As fashion icon Edith Head once said, “You can have anything you want in life if you dress for it.” We also believe that there is a powerful link between self-presentation and professional outcomes.

So, whether you put on a well-tailored suit showing authority or groom yourself that exudes creativity, fashion communicates a message to the world about who you are and what you



Up Next

8 Tips To Step Into Your Power And Thrive

Tips To Step Into Your Power And Thrive

Did you know that negativity can significantly hold you back in your life and prevent you from reaching your goals? However, it isn’t always easy to step into your power and transform your life.

Without doing so, though, you can’t expect to ever achieve your potential. Let’s take a look at some of the key transformation tips that you can leverage.

8 Tips To Help You Step Into Your Power

1. Learn to Let Go

Holding onto the past is one of the most common things that people do that prevents them from moving forward in their lives. If you want to transform your life, it is essential that you le



Up Next

How To Talk To Anyone With Confidence? 14 Psychological Hacks For Any Situation

How To Talk To Anyone With Confidence? Fun Tricks

Do you ever wonder how to talk to anyone with confidence? Small talk may be intimidating at times but it is an ability that everyone can learn – the art of conversation!

Be it a party, a romantic date, or an office environment; one can use certain psychological tips that will help with the process and make it even more fun.

So, if you have trouble finding the right things to say, or are always in the corner of a gathering, here is how to talk to people and participate actively in different social settings with confidence.