That’s the thing about liars, gaslighters, and cheats; they will drive you to the point where you will start doubting each and everything you think and feel. And that is exactly what they want you to do – doubt yourself, feel insecure about yourself and only believe what they want you to believe.
Here Are 13 Ways The Liars, Gaslighters, And Cheats Show You Who They Are
1. They Show You In The Way That They Trigger A Tiny Gut Reaction That Tells You You Can’t Trust Them.
It’s there, you can feel it in your body, even if it’s faint. That feeling tugs at you, in an annoying nagging way, and hopes that you’ll listen. It hopes you recognize that those butterflies in your stomach are actually warnings.
But you second guess yourself and decide to pursue them anyway, because perhaps those butterflies are actually love’s beginnings.
2. They Show You In The Way You Catch Them In Small Lies Or Moments Of Dishonesty.
It’s little things at first, so you try not to overthink it. It’s not long before the lies and inconsistencies start to stack up. They weren’t where they said they were. They weren’t who they said they were with. They stopped responding for hours or days at a time. They weren’t doing what they said they were.
When you ask them about it, they are so quick with their excuses it’s hard to catch them in their dishonesty. The excuses come as quickly and smoothly as the lies themselves, and you wonder if perhaps you were simply confused.
That confusion works in their favor. You forget that the inconsistencies are a sign that this is someone who cannot keep up with their own lies.
Related: Habitual Liars And Their Agendas
3. They Show You In The Way That They Don’t Do What They Say They Will.
They tell you they’ll join you for a party you’ve been talking about for weeks. They tell you they’ll be there every time you ask, and when the day rolls around, they have an excuse for why they can’t. They tell you they want to go to this festival, that museum or try that new bar with you, but the invite never comes.
They tell you they want to cook for you, rub your feet, spoil you for an evening, but that evening never arrives. They tell you not to worry about fixing the broken lock on your door. They’ll handle it for you, but as the weeks go by, you realize that display of chivalry was just an empty promise.
4. They Show You In the Way, The Things They Aren’t Telling You Form Mountains Of Silence.
Every topic seems like an opportunity for an argument. You’re afraid to talk because you’re unsure of what they might latch on to or become defensive over. You don’t want to come off as clingy or misunderstanding or needy.
So you sit and wait in silence. Somehow, that silence is blaring and suffocating. It’s so loud that it rings and all the things you want to say echo through the chambers of your brain.
You think: Why did you disappear for three days? How could you wait to respond to me for 12 hours when I was asking about our pre-made plans for the evening? How did you forget we had plans? Why didn’t you at least let me know? Your tongue starts to bleed from biting so hard, but you tell yourself to chill.
You tell yourself that if you were a different person, this wouldn’t be a problem. This wouldn’t be so difficult.
5. They Show You In The Way They Don’t Listen To You Or Show Interest In What You’re Actually Saying.
They forget the things that you told them, both big and small because they aren’t listening. When you talk, they think about what they want to say instead of hearing you out.
When you tell them stories from your day or your past or your plans for the future, they don’t ask questions. They nod, they smile, and they change the topic to something other than you.
6. They Show You In The Way They Dismiss Your Feelings.
You tell them that you feel disconnected. You tell them that you feel like you can’t trust them. You tell them that you feel anxious and unheard and frustrated and exhausted. They tell you you’re being unfair. They tell you it’s silly to feel that way and you just need to be more grateful. They tell you you’re over-analyzing the situation, and it doesn’t make sense to feel this way.
They wave it off. They tell you “I’m sorry you feel that way”, and they shut down.
7. They Show You In The Way They Gaslight You And Play The Victim.
When you approach them with their own bullshit and call them out for their lies, they deny them. So you show your proof, and then some more proof, and eventually, in some way they acknowledge that perhaps there’s some truth to your accusations. But then, just as you think you’ve come to common ground, they flip the tables on you so quickly you’ll barely register what hit you.