121 Things Narcissists Say When They’re Gaslighting You

121 Things Narcissists Say When They're Gaslighting You

**TRIGGER WARNING: These are statements made by actual narcissists that were shared with me by actual survivors of narcissistic abuse.


If you’ve ever been involved in a toxic relationship with a narcissist, the following statements may sound pretty familiar to you. I polled the members of my online support group (SPAN) and asked them to share things they heard their narcissists say again and again as they were being relentlessly manipulated and gaslighted during their relationships.


If you’re not sure you’re dealing with a narcissist, it might help you to take a look at this list and see whether anything sounds familiar.


If you recognize any of these 121 things – you might be getting gaslighted by a toxic narcissist.

1.  You’re being irrational.

2. You should get tested for schizophrenia.

3. You’re always making shit up in your head.

4. You need help.

5. I don’t do things I think are wrong.

6. Why are you being so defensive?

7. You are so childish/immature.

8. You need to learn to communicate better.

9. I’m not arguing; I’m just discussing.


10. Hey, I’m not saying you need to be any different!! I’m not trying to change anybody!

11. It’s always something with you.

12. You’re crazy, you weirdo, freak.

13. Whatever.

14. If you wouldn’t piss me off I wouldn’t have to say mean things to you.

15. No wonder so and so has a problem with you.

16. If you tell them about me I will ( blah blah ) and hurt you. (Either blackmail or made-up exaggerated lies to get back at you for exposing them.)

17. I used to think you were a good person. (Because you tell them off and get on their level.)

18. Why are you being a bitch, get over it, I’m late, I was supposed to be here at noon but it’s 2:40 pm. Do you want to go eat or not?

19. I don’t have time for your games.

20. Go ahead, tell them about me. I will make your life a living hell, bitch.

21. I’m much smarter than your dumb ass.

22. Just try, you will lose.

23. I’m going to kiss their butt; we will see who they want more to do with.

24. You would think you would have figured out by now – you can’t beat me. But hey – knock yourself out, and make a fool of yourself.


25. If you’re on the phone with them, in front of an audience, you get: “Listen, you need to get help, I can’t play your games anymore. I really feel sorry for you, I’ve got to go. I’m not being pulled into another fight,”. (You’re on the other end saying “what are you talking about?”) About that time he clicks phone off. Then, he later calls you, ” Try me bitch – have you figured out you won’t win?”

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Written by Angie Atkinson

Angela Atkinson founded BlissFire Media in 2013 after spending eight years working as a freelance writer, editor, and social media expert. During that time, she also developed her skills as a website designer, marketer, and other related disciplines.

Atkinson‘s online publishing resume is vast and varied. Her non-fiction book, The Practical Freelance Writer’s Guide to Author Websites, was released September 2010.

She has several years’ experience in online journalism, including hard reporting as well as functioning as editor-in-chief of several client-owned publications over the years. She also wrote features and other news as well as managing and maintaining the connected communities.

Atkinson’s experience also includes copywriting, web writing, search engine optimization (SEO) and SEO content, blogging, marketing and social media marketing.

She also has extensive experience with website design, specializing in WordPress-based sites, such as this one. Additionally, she is credited with creating, building and launching more than 20 websites as well as more than 100 for clients over the years.

She has successfully managed and co-managed several of her own interactive news sites and blogs, as well as she co-owned. She has collaborated on several other books and is the author of On Creating Personal Change.[/learn_more]

Professional Affiliations

Atkinson is a member of the Society of Professional Journalists, including the St. Louis Pro Chapter and the national organization. She is also a member of the St. Louis Writers Guild, the National Education Writers Association, and the Freelancers Union. She studied journalism at Eastern Illinois University and lives blissfully in St. Louis, Missouri with her husband and three children.

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