121 Things Narcissists Say When They’re Gaslighting You

Things Narcissists Say When They Gaslighting option

Common and weird things narcissists do and say when they gaslight you.
**TRIGGER WARNING: These are statements made by actual narcissists that were shared with me by actual survivors of narcissistic abuse.

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121 Things Narcissists Say When They're Gaslighting You

If you’ve ever been involved in a toxic relationship with a narcissist, the following statements may sound pretty familiar to you. I polled the members of my online support group (SPAN) and asked them to share things they heard their narcissists say again and again as they were being relentlessly manipulated and gaslighted during their relationships.

If you’re not sure you’re dealing with a narcissist, it might help you to take a look at this list and see whether anything sounds familiar.

If you recognize any of these 121 things narcissists say – you might be getting gaslighted by a toxic narcissist.

Things Narcissists Say
121 Things Narcissists Say When They're Gaslighting You

1.  You’re being irrational.

2. You should get tested for schizophrenia.

3. You’re always making shit up in your head.

4. You need help.

5. I don’t do things I think are wrong.

6. Why are you being so defensive?

7. You are so childish/immature.

121 Things Narcissists Say When They're Gaslighting You

8. You need to learn to communicate better.

9. I’m not arguing; I’m just discussing.

10. Hey, I’m not saying you need to be any different!! I’m not trying to change anybody!

Read: Recognizing The Signs of Emotional Abuse

11. It’s always something with you.

12. You’re crazy, you weirdo, freak.

13. Whatever.

14. If you wouldn’t piss me off I wouldn’t have to say mean things to you.

15. No wonder so and so has a problem with you.

16. If you tell them about me I will ( blah blah ) and hurt you. (Either blackmail or made-up exaggerated lies to get back at you for exposing them.)

17. I used to think you were a good person. (Because you tell them off and get on their level.)

18. Why are you being a bitch, get over it, I’m late, I was supposed to be here at noon but it’s 2:40 pm. Do you want to go eat or not?

19. I don’t have time for your games.

20. Go ahead, tell them about me. I will make your life a living hell, bitch.

21. I’m much smarter than your dumb ass.

22. Just try, you will lose.

23. I’m going to kiss their butt; we will see who they want more to do with.

24. You would think you would have figured out by now – you can’t beat me. But hey – knock yourself out, and make a fool of yourself.

25. If you’re on the phone with them, in front of an audience, you get: “Listen, you need to get help, I can’t play your games anymore. I really feel sorry for you, I’ve got to go. I’m not being pulled into another fight,”. (You’re on the other end saying “what are you talking about?”) About that time he clicks the phone off. Then, he later calls you, ” Try me bitch – have you figured out you won’t win?”

Read: Gaslighting in Relationships: 10 Signs You Are Being Gaslighted

26. What do you mean I have no real friends? I have an attorney friend, one who owns (blah blah), I have tons of friends! You’re the depressed loser who stays home all the time with no friends! Ohhhh sorry, you have a volunteer pet rescue friend! Wowww, I’m impressed.

27. Ohhh, I forgot you’re holier than thou!

28. Poor you!

29. You like being a victim.

30. You wonder why I stay away from you.

31. Others think I’m a pretty nice guy. Too bad you don’t.

32. I’m going to stay away from you as long as you put me down.

33. No wonder I do drugs!

9 thoughts on “121 Things Narcissists Say When They’re Gaslighting You”

  1. Avatar of Leslie williams

    Wow been through this exact scenario 7 times. Believed it was all my fault always,
    Sadly I still do. I am working on believing in me, Leslie is a worthy person. Even with friendships with other women. No not sexualy just friendships. I ends in disaster every time. Everyone of your gaslighting sayings i heard all of them say. Plus those few that each narcissist has of their own things they say KNOWING that is the one button they can guarantee will bring you to your knees.
    If you anyway for me to work on my believing in myself and not getting in relationships that are GRAND in the beginning then the other shoe drops per say; and I find myself homeless suicidal and knowing I was the one with all the problems. \They were perfect.

    Leslie W

  2. Avatar of Beverly

    I’ve been broken up with him . He kicked me out again . Now texting me saying I wish u the best , thinking of you.

  3. Avatar of Chico Caldera

    I’ve lived most of these things in the last 12 years, to include her daughter she’s not skipping a beat either. I grew to hate that birch and daughter

  4. Avatar of Гулахон Абсанова
    Гулахон Абсанова

    Lol I just find out I am an narcissist because I do say some of the things when I argue. Hey and got accused off too some of the things too. I guess everyone is narcissist

  5. Avatar of Bill L

    These articles are so gender biased. I think the author is projecting gender hate.
    Women are just as manipulative and cunning in narcissistic traits.

    1. Avatar of Гулахон Абсанова
      Гулахон Абсанова

      Lol when you upset we all say things out of control, that doesn’t mean you are narcissist. Obviously she doesn’t know what she talking about. I wouldn’t take her seriously at all. It’s all a joke.

      1. Avatar of Larisa

        A very good article. You can see a proof of that in the comments where people diminish author’s competency just so they don’t have to face their issues. Having a narcissistic partner for almost 15 years, I have lived through every single phrase that is here. I know what a denial is as I went through it. Facing the problem is the only way to end it. Thank you for being so brave to write about sensitive subjects.

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