This Is What Happens When You Confront A Narcissist With The Truth


, ,
When You Confront A Narcissist, Shocking Things Happen

When you confront a narcissist about their lies, cheating, or behavior, they rarely hold up their hands and admit a mistake. Instead, they use a range of tactics they’ve developed over years to deflect blame.

These tactics are designed to confuse you, shift blame to you, and get them off the hook. Narcissists aren’t interested in doing the right thing for you, or for their conscience.

Here’s a rundown of the common tactics narcissists use when confronted…

Read more here: The Many Faces Of Narcissism: Exploring The 3 Types Of Narcissists

Confronting A Narcissist With The Truth

Read more here: The Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing: 7 Subtle Signs Of An Altruistic Narcissist

This Is What Happens When You Confront A Narcissist

1. Attack You

Narcissists often play by the rule of “attack is the best form of defense”. So when you confront them, they may attack you. This can be startling, as it’s not expected.

They could attack you about something related. Or something nothing to do with what you brought up. It doesn’t matter. They attack and attack hard. This is to put you on the back foot. Whilst you’re busy defending yourself, your original point has been forgotten. It muddies the water.

And it can be complete nonsense. When I confronted my ex about cheating, she immediately attacked me, demanding to know why I waited until 10 PM to confront her!

If you confront a narcissist, stay focussed on what you’re confronting them about. And don’t let them shift the focus onto you.

2. Deny

Narcissists may deny until the end of time. Even if you’ve clear evidence.

I’ve seen them deny taking money out of a purse. Even when they were caught red-handed!

It’s frustrating, but they know if they continue to deny, there’s a small shred of doubt in your mind. And they play on this.

Read more here: Handling Narcissistic Abuse: 10 Common Mistakes and How To Deal Effectively

3. Gaslighting

Narcissists might rewrite history to get themselves off the hook. They change the facts of things that happened. Even though you both know the truth. They do this to get you to doubt your sense of reality.

Once you doubt your sense of reality, they know they can get away with ANYTHING. And they’ll use this as their get-out clause for everything. “You know you have a bad memory.”

If you spend a lot of time with them, and they do this a lot, it can cause psychological damage.

What happens when you confront a narcissist – they gaslight you

4. Provoke You

Narcissists know their significant others’ weak spots. Things they’re sensitive about. Narcissists spend a lot of time observing what sets you off. Because they know they can use this to their advantage.

When they know they’re wrong, they use things you’re sensitive about to provoke you. They bring up your issues to provoke you into getting angry. If you’re paranoid about your job, they’ll bring that up.

When you react angrily, they change the argument to be about your reaction. “Why did you call me that?!” And because you’re angry, it’s easy to lose focus.

Try to stay calm, and don’t react to their provocations. And keep in mind your original point.

5. Blame You

Narcissists are skilled at turning things they’ve done into YOUR fault. “You drove me to it.” They may even use twisted logic. They don’t care, as long as they can pass the blame on to you.

Narcissists sometimes try to gain a positive out of their negative behavior. “I cheated on you because you didn’t love me enough.” That’s actually them demanding you love them MORE because of their crappy behavior!

when you confront a narcissist
When you confront a narcissist, they put the blame on you

6. Play The Victim

Narcissists sometimes bring up things from their past as an excuse for their behavior. They may be related, or completely unrelated. “You know I had a bad upbringing.”

If they’re female, they might turn on the waterworks. And blame themselves in an over-the-top way. They know most people feel sorry for them, and ease up. But they’re crocodile tears. Totally fake. Designed to get them off the hook.

Read more here: The Myth Of The Narcissistic Mask: What Happens When You Get To Know a Narcissist?

7. Downplaying

Narcissists sometimes try to act like it’s no big deal. “Yeh, so what?” This can be confusing. And may get you to question whether you’re overreacting. And they know this.

My ex tried to act as if nothing had happened, the day after I confronted her about cheating. Hoping I’d act normal and let it slide. Yeh right!

Ask yourself, how would they react if you did the same thing to them. And would you feel justified in getting off the hook if you did it?

Final Thoughts – How To Confront A Narcissist

Narcissists often switch between these tactics until they find the one that works. I’ve watched them do this. And they’ll do it even if it means contradicting themselves. For instance, they might deny that it ever happened, then blame you.

But how can they blame you for something that didn’t happen?! If you listen closely, they often slip up.

Stay calm and remain focused on what you want to say. They don’t want a rational discussion. They want to turn it into a messy emotional argument. That way they’re less likely to be exposed. They don’t want to hear the cold hard facts.

It’s frustrating and draining. But if you avoid getting emotionally involved, it’s less draining. Keep calm, stay focused, and stick to your original point.

Read more here: How I Tried To Fix The Narcissist And It Almost Killed Me

Please visit Jon Rhodes at to learn more about narcissists and their behaviors.

Share your thoughts on your experiences when confronting a narcissist with the truth in the comments below!

Written By Jon Rhodes 
Originally Appeared On Narcissisms 
this is what happens when you confront a narcissist pinex
What Happens If You Confront A Narcissist
this is what happens when you confront a narcissist pin
Confronting A Narcissist With The Truth
what happens when you confront a narcissist

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Up Next

Do you often feel Defenseless and Defeated? 7 Signs of a Narcissistic Relationship

Am I In A narcissistic relationship? signs that confirms!

Do you constantly try to make sense of things that do not make sense? We know how exhausting that might be, constantly running in a loop with no ends not only drains you emotionally but also has serious effects on your physical and mental health.

If you can relate to the first sentence, you might have ended up with a narcissist, that is, someone having Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). This article discusses the 7 undeniable signs of being in a narcissistic relationship.

7 Ways a Victim Behaves in a Narcissistic Relationship

Up Next

Are Narcissists Delusional? 7 Signs Of A Delusional Narcissist

Are Narcissists Delusional? Signs Of Delusional Narcissists

Are narcissists delusional? It’s a question that has intrigued and confused many people out there. You must have come across certain people who seem to be a bit too obsessed with themselves, and who are always seeking admiration and validation from others. But what lies beneath this self-absorbed façade?

Are these people simply self-centered beings, or is there something lurking beneath the surface? Today, we are going to take a deep dive into the world of the delusional narcissist, and discuss seven glaring signs of a delusional narcissist.

So, are you ready to have your mind blown as we explore the darker side of narcissism and the tangled path it leads down? First let’s talk a bit about whether narcissists are delusional or not.

Up Next

Brain Fog After Narcissistic Abuse? 8 Ways Narcissists Can Muddle Your Brain

Brain Fog After Narcissistic Abuse? Reasons Why It Happens

Have you ever heard of the term “brain fog”? Brain fog is like a maddening haze that seems to muddle your thoughts, makes you forget what you were saying, and has you searching for your clothes in the trash bin? Well, today we are going to talk about a specific sort of brain fog – brain fog after narcissistic abuse.

Imagine that you have just escaped from a toxic and abusive relationship with a narcissist. You are slowly picking up the pieces and trying to get your life back in order, but somehow you feel like your head is not in the right place. Everything still feels very odd and you still feel very lost.

Even though you are free from the clutches of your narcissistic ex, this bizarre mental fog just won’t lift. Let’s explore how narcissists cause brain fog, and the link between brain fog and narcissistic abuse.

Up Next

Manipulating A Manipulator: 8 Subtle Tricks That Will Give You The Upper Hand

Manipulating A Manipulator: Subtle Psychological Tactics

Ever found yourself tangled in a web spun by a master manipulator? It’s a frustrating dance where you are treated like a pawn in their toxic mind games, and your are always the one who is one step behind. But what if I told you there’s a way to turn the tables? What if manipulating a manipulator may not be that hard?

Yes, you read it right. This isn’t just about defending yourself and holding onto your sanity; it’s about mastering the art of subtle manipulation.

In this article, we are going to talk about eight remarkably clever and subtle manipulation tactics that will empower you to regain control and outwit even the most cunning of manipulators. So, are you ready?


Up Next

Toxic Bosses Unmasked: 20 Warning Signs to Watch For

Toxic Bosses Unmasked: Warning Signs to Watch For

Having a toxic boss can really take a toll on you mentally, and toxic bosses are seriously so horrible. This article is going to help you understand the traits of a toxic boss so that you know which behaviors are not normal and ethical. Read on to know more about the signs of a toxic boss or toxic bosses.

We hear about toxic bosses all the time, but how do you know when a boss is “toxic”? “Toxic” is, of course, a vague descriptor. Are bosses toxic when they throw fits and scream, or only when they break the law?

Or are they toxic when they are immoral or unethical? Are they toxic if they’re nice one day and nasty the next, or just when they make you uncomfortable, nervous, or sick? These are valid questions because these individuals are easy to identify when their behaviors are outrageous; but perhaps less so when their behavior

Up Next

How to Deal With a Compulsive Liar: 9 Effective Compulsive Lying Treatment Techniques for Peaceful Relationships

Tips for Compulsive Lying Treatment and Restoring Trust

Ever met someone who constantly distorts the truth, weaves elaborate tales or downright lies all the time? Dealing with a compulsive liar can be perplexing and frustrating. This is why it is crucial that you learn about compulsive lying treatment and how to deal with compulsive lying in a healthy way. 

Welcome to the world of compulsive liars and compulsive lying, where every story seems too good to be true. These individuals spin elaborate tales effortlessly, blurring the lines between fact and fiction. 

Let’s unravel the psychology behind this intriguing phenomenon by exploring the mysteries surrounding compulsive lying, exploring compulsive liar symptoms, what causes compulsive lying, and most importantly, the available compulsive lying treatment options. 

Up Next

7 Glaring Characteristics Of A Shallow, Superficial Person

Superficial Person: Major Signs Of A Shallow Person

In a world where social media reigns supreme, appearances often take center stage, and the allure of superficiality can be hard to resist. You must have encountered many such people whose charm seems as fleeting as a summer breeze, leaving you wanting for something deeper and more meaningful. Well, you may have come across a superficial person.

Today we are going to take a deep dive into the world of superficial, shallow people, characteristics of a superficial person, and how to deal with a superficial person, so that you know how to distinguish between a genuine person and a not-so-genuine one.

Where facades reign supreme and authenticity takes a backseat, let’s explore how the world of a superficial person looks like.