How I Tried To Fix The Narcissist And It Almost Killed Me

i tried to fix the narcissist

If you’ve been following my work for a while you know a lot about me, I am very open about the traumatic narcissistic relationships I endured. But today I take it a bit further and I go deeper into the depths of destruction I was pushed to by these terribly damaging people.

Truly, it almost killed me!

Just like you, I was attacked mercilessly. I was dealt low blows, shocking accusations and the insults came thick and fast. Then it got even worse. You’ve been there too so you know exactly what I’m talking about.

And all the while I still tried insistently to “fix” them.

I urge you to watch this video because within it I grant you key takeaways that can shine a huge, big light on why you’ve been trying to fix somebody, the true reasons it hasn’t worked, and how you can generate real healthy, safe relationships in your future.

I just want to remind you that my upcoming signature 10-week healing Bootcamp, for getting out of the pain of narcissistic abuse and onto the path of Thriving, is coming up soon.

If you’d like to work with me hands-on, up close and personal from the comfort of your own home with powerful information and life-changing Quanta Freedom Healing sessions that are powerful beyond measure, then go to

Spots are limited, and we’re expecting this to sell out soon. The first one did really quickly. This is number two.

Today I want to share with you my story, my humble story about trying to fix the narcissist because I really tried to. I really want you to know that this episode is for any narcissist in your life, not just a love partner – it could be your family member, or even your child … any narcissist at all.

Related: An Open Letter To All The Female Narcissists And Manipulators

My Story

So about me. Like so many of us, I have compassion and empathy and I want to make a difference in other people’s lives. I mean, that’s the life mission that I do now. I have the type of personality that, in my past, I was absolutely naturally drawn to people with issues and then would try to help them.

I used to take in the lame and broken birds on an animal level and also a human level, so it’s really not surprising that even before what I do now, I was a personal coach and a healer for years.

I know so many of you are healers, teachers, caregivers, and people who work in those kinds of industries, or you’re just the go-to person in your social group or your family. You’re empaths as well, and usually, people who are abused by narcissists are really lovely people.

When the narcissist came into my life, I really thought he was my perfect partner. He seemed to be everything I’d always wanted and of course, that’s what I wanted to believe. I projected how wonderful he was onto him.

This is key, and I really want you to park this thought and remember it – I needed him to be loving, honest, kind, attentive, generous, and benevolent – which was the picture that I had of him.

Now of course, with a narcissist in your life, any narcissist, you soon discover, or overtime as I did, that he was in fact capable of being incredibly cruel, dishonest, abusive, and he was capable of devastating behavior.

Here is the kicker, it’s what I did, and it’s what we all do – we decide we need to change them back to the version that we need them to be. In order to do that, we try so hard to wake them up and fix them. There’s a lot to try to fix.

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Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans is a global narcissistic abuse recovery expert and the creator of the Quanta Freedom Healing method and The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP). Melanie’s leading-edge healing methods have helped thousands of people make astounding full recoveries from toxic relationship abuse. Her work has now touched the lives of over 15 million people from more than 100 countries worldwide and her abuse recovery system is recommended by doctors, psychologists, therapists, and renowned relationship experts from all over the world. Melanie’s work is revolutionizing the old Model of Survivor Recovery to one of Thriver status. The free content Melanie offers on abuse recovery reaches close to 7 million people monthly on her website and across her numerous social media platforms and her reach continues to grow exponentially. In 2018, Melanie released her first book, You Can Thrive After Narcissistic Abuse - The #1 System for Recovering from Toxic Relationships which became an Amazon bestseller in days, and is now being translated into multiple languages. Free 16 Day Recovery Course – A Roadmap To Getting Clarity, Relief and Your Life Back On TrackView Author posts