22 Stages of Relationship Between An Empath and A Narcissist

22 Stages of Relationship Between An Empath and A Narcissist

When it comes to relationships, a relationship between an empath and a narcissist is way more common than you would believe. Unfortunately. 

When it comes to narcissists, they are known to be expert manipulators. They have a knack of planning everything out and setting the perfect trap for their victims. A narcissist plans out each and every stage meticulously in order to ensnare the perfect and build a “perfect” relationship.

Here are 22 stages of the relationship between an empath and a narcissist

22 Stages of Relationship Between An Empath and A Narcissist

1. The empath gets attracted to a narcissist.

Their relationship starts. Empath loves deeply and unconditionally. They feel emotionally fulfilled even though the narcissist plays no role to develop a stronger bond. The empath feels satisfied and thinks their love is reciprocated just by being around the narcissist.

2. The empath gets the false notion that they have finally met the kind of love that people don’t find even once.

Narcissist affirms this by creating an illusion that leads the empath to believe that what they have is special. The empath feels a deep bond that is almost impossible to break free.

3. Sometimes it appears that the narcissist wants this relationship as much as the empath.

Actually, what they want is someone who invests their time, energy and love and is in their complete control.

Have you ever experienced a narcissist’s “love”? Read The Perfect Ten Sentences of Seduction Used By The Narcissist

 4. As time will pass, the narcissist will make the empath feel weak, unconfident, and bereft of the abilities to do even the simple things.

The narcissist will never launch an open attack, but use statements like “don’t want to hurt you but…” to point out some shortcomings. They will try to take over anything which symbolizes control such as handling bills or making decisions about purchases. The empathy will be looked down upon for their interests and many such things that form their identity. Gradually, the empath starts to believe that they are less capable and they “need” someone like the person in their life. They get the notion no one would want them.

5. For an empath, this relationship will be everything as they are the ones who are in love.

Out of love, they would always want to soothe and cheer the narcissist, talk to them, help them and do whatever it makes them feel good. The narcissists project themselves as the victim of their past, their relationships, and the circumstances. The empaths are givers; they try to make up for all the unfortunate things that have ever happened to the narcissist.

6. The empath has a good and clear heart and cannot imagine the deep and unresolved wounds of the narcissist are not the same as their own.

Healing those wounds is different from their own.

7. The relationship is all about narcissist.

The empath realizes this slowly, and a time comes when they feel afraid to talk or fight for their needs and desires. In their attempt to please they don’t want to voice their true needs. They would rather be likable than give any reason to be disliked. But, secretly they are not too happy.

8. The more devotion, love, care, affection, and effort the empath put into the relationship, the narcissist feels completely in control over the relationship.

The empath literally dances to the tune of the narcissist. As long as the empath continues to appease the narcissist, it’s impossible to detect any problem in the relationship. The problem occurs when the empath finally reaches the breaking point.

9. Finally, the empath raises a voice because they can no longer keep up with the suppressing ways of the narcissist.

Day after day their emotional needs remain unfulfilled. This happens because from the beginning of the relationship they have believed their partner’s emotional needs are all that matters. When they finally understand their well-being also matters, and speak out, they seem selfish. The narcissist does not like it.

10. The narcissist is an attention seeker.

They get satisfaction when people fuss around them. Their needs can never be met, they can never be satisfied. They may move to other partners, open a new business, travel around the world, get involved in new creative pursuits, and so on and so forth, but they will never be happy. The empath isn’t aware of this fact.

11. When the empath finally bursts out something like “My feelings also matter,” the narcissist is quick to call the empath “crazy”.

They call them over-dramatic and their concerns unfounded. This kind of dismissive behavior is the tactic used by them to gain control over the empath’s mind.

Have you ever been in a relationship with a narcissist? Read How A Narcissist Plays You And How Their Cycle Of Abuse Works

89 thoughts on “22 Stages of Relationship Between An Empath and A Narcissist”

  1. Avatar of ERICA MARTELL

    Great article!!!! Yes, this has been my experience…

    Watch Black Money on Netflix. 200 episodes… it’ll be a new experience but very addictive. Turkish! Intense relationships and personal development.

  2. Avatar of Esther

    I came into my Narissistic man’s like 6 years ago. I knew right away that he was not what I was looking for, but I thought I could change him if I loved him enough. What I found is he changed me, some for the better and some for the worse. I started this relationship on the Internet and I have decided, that is not the place to begin a relationship as I did not see him. He spoke words and they were beautiful words, but he also spoke words not so nice. He was a gentleman in disguise. He can be sweet, and yet he can also be a mean person. What I found is the things I love and cherish were not important, only his ideas where worth holding onto, especially in the area of sex. Also I never seemed to have a good idea and therefore it had to be changed to satifiy him. He was happy in front of a TV, unless he wanted sex. He seems his life rotated around sex, and I had to schedule a time for sex at a convient time. I only knew the word Naracissit a few years ago, but in the last 4 months I have discovered a whole new world. What I am discovering is that I am a Empath whick is just as wrong. My Empath started in childhood with Alcholic parents, and trying to please them, and then it broadened to the rest of the world. Do I want this knowledge? What will I do with this knowledge? I saw the RED flag but ignored it as I wanted to be loved. How I pray that I will see these read flags and deal with them at the very beginning. If you do not know RC Blake, may I suggest you watch his videos.

  3. Avatar of B.J. Carter

    Almost! In the case of a true empath, we know the lies, we feel the bullshit, we hear all the right words, on repeat, but our instincts tells us all. We are caring towards everyone, getting taken advantage of always but make no mistake, we know exactly whats happening and every now and then, theres a rebellious badass and over thinker, who has her own agenda. That being to call him out on every single lie, allowing him to get away with nothing. As of now, the game is still being played. My goal is to strip him down to humility
    Getting him away from his reflection, so to speak. Let ya know how it turns out.

  4. Avatar of Madelyn

    I walked away from someone who I believe was a narcissist. Each day I cater to him, cooked, helped him aprt his life, his bills. He blamed me for everything and states he left me. It was him who cheated, used me and belittled me. He was physically abusive and acted like a big kid.
    We share a baby and he has not provided one single thing for this baby since he left. He does not call or visit or provide anything. A year has past and he moved on to a new supply and has impregnated her within 4 months. He is infatuated with her and tells me I am miserable.

    He is a sick being who took my kindness and love for for his selfish needs and then walked away like we were nothing and said I was a waste of his time.

    1. Avatar of jjhkh

      Good luck Leeanne! Remember that life works in mysterious ways, one day you’ll be healed and you’ll feel so joyful that remembering this time will be like trying to remember how it was to be a little sick when you’re healthy. Very hard, not very interesting, and most of all, not at all endangering what will then be your current state! Keep your eyes on the horizon and don’t worry about how much time passed or not. It’s all worth it.

    2. Avatar of Izzie

      I found out 8 years ago my husband ( the narcissist) was having an affair. I put up with it, believing he would see how bad it was hurting me, it never happened.
      It was one skank right after another. Parading them in my face, my home, without care or concern.
      He finally left a few months ago. I thought I was going to be a wreck.
      I wasn’t. And now I keep asking myself why he didn’t do it sooner.
      Point is, I’m healing and learning to live life on my terms, for me. I don’t miss him and don’t even dwell on the good times.
      We were married 18 years. I’m going to live.
      But now I’m much stronger and smarter.
      It WON’T happen again.

  5. Avatar of Ben

    I find this post misleading. I’ve had a narcissistic abusive father, so I know a bit about this from experience. And I have considered myself to be empath in the past, and have thought about the topic a lot. Once I started actually studying psychology, I found out how ridiculous the term really is, but that’s another story.
    This post paints such an overly simplified picture of the situation that it almost achieves the level of fairy tale in its form. What I particularly don’t like is how it portrays the “empath” as being purely good, and the narcissist as being purely evil. I imagine this was written by someone who considers themselves empath. Easy way to make you feel good about yourself by putting yourself on the moral high ground and blame the other for everything. But harmlessness does not equal virtue.
    I estimate that a significant amount of the people who considers themselves empaths are in actuality just naïve, which makes it very easy to be unconditionally loving, because that is one of the reasons why children are.
    The reason I wrote this is because falsehood, especially those that tend to glorify oneself and demonize others, are dangerous, for all.

  6. Avatar of Barbara McDonald
    Barbara McDonald

    Almost 3 yrs. in and worked my butt off helping plus running all errands, cooking thousands of homemade meals. He does not talk and stonewalls consistently. I became afraid. I could not ask for him to hear me out. He shut me out unless it was about him. And very cold. Total opposite of when we met and he love bombed me with lies. This was Trauma Bonding. I am outta here. No looking back.

    1. Avatar of Tammy

      I totally know how you felt 5 years for me. I felt like a door matt and so used, free from him for 2 months and still feel awful, I hope it soon gets better.

  7. Avatar of Gaelle

    Those stage are the key to understanding and avoiding the narcs. Read something similar a year ago and it felt like a revelation. Since left my pervert narc of 28 years. Met another one and recognised his game immediately, The good news is that my voicing out was so uncomfortable to him he couldn’t keep up the control and revealed even more of himself. This was a challenge I set myself after 28 long years of silence, could simply voicing out the clear narc traits drive them away like garlic to vampires.It worked for me and boosted my confidence in my very own narc radar. Won’t play with narcfire again though!!

  8. Avatar of Lynn Haney

    I have just ended a relationship with a Narracist. I am an Empath. It was great at first until I didnt have money for his drug addiction. He started calling an ex lover to come take him and she paid for it. He got into a treatment center and I paid for all of that because he wont work. I worked and he went off with his female friend ans stayed 2 ir more days at a time each time. He went out of town and stayed with his friend i still dont know who. I never said anything just got my things one morning when he was gone and moved out. I was the worst person ever. I left him. He need to get to treatment. Blah blah. He moved his female friend in to get him back and forth to treatment center and we continued having a relationship for months until she moved out. I was giving him so much money i was suffering but i loved him. I moved back in and after about 2 weeks the picking at me to get a response to which he would run out and say she crazy. Yelling for no reason. To his family. He even called the police one day and purposley scratxhed his back up and said i did it and i almost went to jail. I knew i had to get away. He started wiyh me again on a sunday and i just jumped up packed my things and left. He refused to let me come back. Which was a blessing. I caught him cheating 2 weeks later and ended things. He tells everyone he ended things but i dont care i am away and done. So thankful

  9. Avatar of Jacob

    Beautifully stated facts about the truths of a toxic relationship between an empath and a narcissist this helped tremendously so thank you very much

  10. Avatar of Kruizi

    My ‘just recently finished’ relationship to a T!!!!! What a nightmare!! 3 months was enough for me, I am so thankful to be out of it.

  11. Avatar of Skyriter88

    Narcissists are everywhere, female, male and from every culture. In a sense, everyone is a bit of a narcissist but it’s the deep narcissist you need to watch out for. I was married to a deep narcissist for 20 years and never knew the extent until I read this article. She has found her new victim and I am finally happy now without that in my life. If you are in a relationship with a deep narcissist the only way to survive is to end it. There is no cure, I found out the hard way but it is never too late to live again. Good luck!

  12. Avatar of S G

    Very accurate article .. They are one of the worst types of personalities , and unfortunately America is filled with them . However , + note is without the Narcissist the Empath wouldn’t understand its own self worth and value . They do serve a purpose , but just do NOT let the damage get to deep. They are not mentally stable individuals , who live in alternative realities. This stems from a lack of Self love from the parents or not marrying for love , in which their children become a false extension of themselves.

  13. Avatar of Christina Masson

    I have to say, this article is pretty darn accurate. I am so thankful to be out of that horrible relationship and have moved on to a very healthy one. I wish all those who have been through this experience, the time to heal yourself and not to let that happen again. Remember you are worth it!

  14. Avatar of Jenn Rockefeller

    You guys might want to look into this….


    It’s WAYYYYYY too closely worded to this one. That author is not crediting you guys. Instead, she’s rewording it and calling it her own. It resembles this article too closely.

  15. Avatar of Carina Sydenstricker Daddario

    I am beyond overwhelmed at this moment…I feel so, so, so stupid. I have been married to oh most definitely a narcissist and the Father of Lies for 27&1/2 years now. And yes, I have only recently gained knowledge about Empath’s after meeting one who asked me if I was also an Empath…Wow, I had never imagined…I’ve been made to feel…and therefore felt that I was just plain out crazy. I have only recently been occasionally searching for information and the cruelty I’ve been experiencing from my husband lately is what provoked more interest. When I saw this article I thought “NO WAY!!!” I have actually been advising my husband recently that I believe him to be a Sociopath…hmmm…he truly hates to hear that. I always thought the reason I was so unhappy was because I was super~sensitive…Of course I overlooked his many cheating episodes to save our marriage. I grew up in a broken home and did not want this for our boys.
    I don’t know….something inside me is raging now and I am not willing to take his cruelty one week and telling me I’m his girl and it would kill him to lose me the next week.
    To make matters worse, we lost our oldest son, Timothy, age:22 to a tragic accident in Lehigh County, PA on 7/21/2014 when he and a co-worker were struck and killed by a train….
    I have struggled with addiction problems since my teens and had a long period of sobriety….needless to say that is over and I now am getting ready to enter yet another rehab facility…and of course, I’m the bad guy now….but I continue to advise him that I do not know if I am returning to him when treatment is over and he totally ignores me or tells me to shut up shut up shut up.
    I continue asking myself how could I have given this man 30 years of my life…my youth…when he never gets better as I always assumed (makes an ass out of you and me) he would…ie: I thought that this would be “my” time…a time when I would be loved and finally experience peace in this marriage. I’ve been so naive and I feel so very sick over it….which of course I now realized fueled my former and current addiction~with my son’s death being used as an excuse. I have no idea where to turn now at this point, but I do know that I am going to continue researching…As I’ve read about most Empaths…I’ve certainly had my share of pain so far in my almost 49 years…I mourn my youth and only hope that I make the right decisions for my future. Thank You for Sharing!!!

  16. Avatar of Becky Siemers

    I hate to say this for the sake I do not wish this pain on anyone but I am so grateful to read in these comments that there are others out there that understand what being in love with the evil narcissist is like. I envy you for having the strength to not answer his accidental call nor return the call. Know matter how much I am aware of what the relationship really is or who he truly is , I end up giving in and eventually answering. Even when I despise who he is. It is like I can’t stand that I can’t fix him or be enough to change him. In my heart , I know it isn’t possible and to be honest I really don’t want a life with him if I could after all he has done to me so why can’t I let go. I don’t get that. Sometimes I think I just wanting the opportunity to hurt him back knowing that not possible either but I’ve tried to look at why from every possible direction.

  17. Avatar of Alie Bella

    This is very accurate. Im at stage 15 right now. We were on again off again for two years and every time I went back, he broke down my defenses. I knew something wasn’t right with him when we went on our first date but I didn’t trust myself and didn’t realize his narcissistic tactics. I figured him out but kept going back hoping that he would change. What was really going on was that I was in denial because I really loved him and I didn’t want to be right about him. I didn’t want to see that he really didn’t care about me or love me. I wanted to believe him when he said he cared and respected me. I trusted his words more than my own feelings. He “accidentally” called me the other day and I didn’t answer. Nor did I call back. I don’t plan on it. What I need is the strength to let go and move on. I had a vision one night while I was laying in bed with him of him killing me. For so long I have been taught that there was something wrong with me because of my ability to feel things on a deep and profound level, but I am coming to accept that I am an empath. I am a healer and there is nothing wrong with me. I am also learning that I DO NOT have to love, care for, give my time to, or help anyone that I do not wish to and that taking care of and protecting myself is NOT selfish. I am very happy I found this article. I feel very lonely sometimes because it seems like no one understands me but I know there are others out there like me and I am excited to meet them one day. I ask for strength.

    1. Avatar of Wilfulwoman

      I have just wasted 5 years of my life with a charming, manipulative narcissist. I also returned to the relationship time and time again believing that we had a ‘special’ bond. I actually convinced myself that the love and faith I put into the relationship was reciprocated. He does ‘love’ me but now I know that this means different things to different people. A narcissist does not comprehend that respect, honesty, care and loyalty are all essential.
      I am angry with myself for pouring all my love into a bottomless vessel. I have felt depleted, worthless and empty.
      I am trying hard not to feel ‘selfish’ now that I understand MY wellbeing should be my priority. Continually putting someone else’s needs and wants first is the path to self destruction.
      I am sometimes lonely but it beats being miserable. You cannot change a narcissist. A leopard cannot change it’s spots. It can camouflage itself so you let down your defences. Never again will I allow anyone to use and abuse me.

  18. Avatar of Andrew Brown

    The smartest narcissists target gorgeous women and keep the act up for the life of the marriage.

    Thinking through the 22 stages, one might prepare a life-mate by breaking her heart once or twice prior. That will result in her being less idealistic and more accepting of your preferred behavior (such as dalliances outside marriage).

      1. Avatar of Charmian Kriedemann

        Wow, that is pretty accurate, mine cheated on me with one of his exes before we got married, I was pregnant with my eldest he cheated again with her, after we got married it just continued with other women, also while I was pregnant with my second son, half I don’t even know about but those that I know about were less attractive than me, at least that is what people that had seen or knew them said. Almost 21 years of marriage and 25years together he finally leaves me and relieves me of my hell and to this day I don’t really even know what she looks like because she is French and the live in Malta. two days before he finally ended it we will still making plans for the future and boom. Now I am the abuser according to him, he always wanted me to lose weight even if I was on my ideal weight, I eventually didn’t care anymore. Now I am happy, I never thought I would be able to move on I believed that that was what life was about, being in a constant state of fear that your partner will leave you at anytime if you don’t keep them happy at all times.

  19. Avatar of Melanie Bell

    Oh…My..gosh… This sooo describes my on-and-off 3 year relationship with my “psycho ex.” I’ve known for years that I’m an empath, didn’t realize that that he was a narcissist/sociopath (like my father, ironically enough) until too late. He was obsessive, controlling & jealous, as well as wounded, and I interpreted it as loving, and that I could “help” him. I NEVER thought I would get into an abusive relationship (mentally, verbally – even involving my family & friends!) until I was. Thank you for shedding light on this situation.

  20. Avatar of Amena Belkacemi

    most of my closest friends and family are narcissists, my sister Nawel used to tell me “you attract them because you are an empath ” hope it is not true, because they say that a narcissist tend to absorb all people’s energy

    1. Avatar of Eman Asaad

      they are probably narcissists to different limits, not all the same, the problem is, you are the empath!! empaths are so nice & sweet & they genuinely feel for other, usually, those others would abuse that fact … that’s why empaths usually, feel alone .. like they belong to themselves, its sad, hard, and very depressing sometimes..!

  21. Avatar of Fiona Bing

    A lot of truth in this. Those who are happy with themselves and not in competition trust far too quickly that others are the same and have their best interests at heart. This should never be assumed.

    1. Avatar of Michelle Junglemother

      I do.. ive broken up with my bf after too much drama and control and mind bullying. I recognise this read. But i do know he was younger than me.. just a man who needs to grow and mature and perhaps find that empathy he lacks at this moment in time

Comments are closed.

Scroll to Top