In earlier posts on The Minds Journal, we discussed relationships with narcissists, but this post specifically deals with the toxic relationship between an empath and narcissist.
When it comes to an empath and narcissist relationship, it is way more common than you would believe. Unfortunately.
When it comes to narcissists, they are known to be expert manipulators. They have a knack for planning everything out and setting the perfect trap for their victims. A narcissist plans out each and every stage meticulously in order to ensnare the perfect and build a “perfect” relationship.
So, if narcissists are so bad, how does an attraction between an empath and a narcissist occur? Why empaths and narcissists are attracted to each other? And most importantly, can an empath and a narcissist have a happy marriage?
22 Stages of Relationship Between An Empath And Narcissist
1. The empath gets attracted to a narcissist.
The toxic relationship between an empath and narcissist starts. Empath loves deeply and unconditionally. They feel emotionally fulfilled even though the narcissist plays no role to develop a stronger bond. The empath feels satisfied and thinks their love is reciprocated just by being around the narcissist.
2. The empath gets the false notion that they have finally met the kind of love that people don’t find even once.
The narcissist affirms this by creating an illusion that leads the empath to believe that what they have is special. The empath feels a deep bond that is almost impossible to break free of. This is how the toxic relationship between an empath and narcissist takes off.
3. Sometimes it appears that the narcissist wants this relationship as much as the empath.
Actually, what they want is someone who invests their time, energy, and love and is in their complete control.
4. Gradually, the narcissist will make the empath feel weak, and unconfident, about their ability to do even simple things.
The narcissist will never launch an open attack, but use statements like “don’t want to hurt you but…” to point out some shortcomings. They will try to take over anything which symbolizes control such as handling bills or making decisions about purchases. The empathy will be looked down upon for their interests and many such things that form their identity.
Gradually, the empath starts to believe that they are less capable and they “need” someone like the person in their life. They get the notion no one would want them.
5. For an empath, this relationship will be everything as they are the ones who are in love.
When it comes to an empath and narcissists relationship, the empath will always be under an illusion. Out of love, they would always want to soothe and cheer the narcissist, talk to them, help them and do whatever makes them feel good.
In this fifth stage of the toxic relationship between an empath and narcissist, the narcissists project themselves as the victim of their past, their relationships, and their circumstances. The empaths are givers; they try to make up for all the unfortunate things that have ever happened to the narcissist.
6. The empath has a pure heart and can’t imagine that the unresolved wounds of the narcissist are not the same as their own.
Healing those wounds is different from their own. They will always try their best to make things healthy and happy for the narcissist, and the narcissist will let them.
Because that’s exactly why they have chosen the empath. They have no intentions of changing, all they care about is the narcissistic supply they’re getting from the empath.
7. The relationship is all about the narcissist.
In the toxic relationship between an empath and narcissist, the empath realizes this slowly, and a time comes when they feel afraid to talk or fight for their needs and desires.
In their attempt to please, they don’t want to voice their true needs. They would rather be likable than give any reason to be disliked. But, secretly they are not too happy.
8. The more devotion, love, and effort the empath puts into the relationship, the more the narcissist feels in control.
In the toxic relationship between an empath and narcissist, the empath literally dances to the tune of the narcissist. As long as the empath continues to appease the narcissist, it’s impossible to detect any problem in the relationship. The problem occurs when the empath finally reaches the breaking point.
9. When the empath raises their voice because they can no longer keep up with the suppressing ways of the narcissist.
Day after day their emotional needs remain unfulfilled. This happens because from the beginning of the relationship they have believed their partner’s emotional needs are all that matters. When they finally understand their well-being also matters, and speak out, they seem selfish. The narcissist does not like it.
10. The narcissist is an attention seeker.
They get satisfaction when people fuss around them. Their needs can never be met, they can never be satisfied. They may move to other partners, open a new business, travel around the world, get involved in new creative pursuits, and so on and so forth, but they will never be happy. The empath isn’t aware of this fact.
11. The empaths bursts out and let the narcissist know that their feelings matter too.
When the empath finally bursts out and says something like “My feelings also matter,” the narcissist is quick to call the empath “crazy”.
They call them over-dramatic and their concerns unfounded. This kind of dismissive behavior is the tactic used by them to gain control over the empath’s mind.
12. The empath gets confused.
Why they have meted out such behavior, is beyond their understanding. They start blaming themselves and wonder if they are at all worthy of being loved by anyone at all.
13. The empath is not able to understand that they are just being manipulated.
When it comes to the toxic relationship between an empath and narcissist, the latter has bent everything around them to create a twisted view of the circumstances. There can be anything around them to let them know the truth that they are the one who is “right” and it’s their partner who is tremendously “wrong” and wicked.
14. The empath will try to communicate with the narcissist in all truthfulness.
The narcissist will, however, justify their behavior and pass the blame. Because that’s how narcissists work; they are incapable of remorse, and will always look to dump all the blame on others. And in this case, unfortunately, it’s the empath.
15. It is normal to feel lost, confused, and hurt.
But despite all the heartbreak, the empath will need to be calm and do some self-evaluation to figure out how they became so defenseless. This is how they will start transforming.
16. The empath will know that they are healers by nature.
They have the inner strength to help others in the right ways, sometimes as a duty and sometimes when life brings them to such situations.
17. The empath has to realize the bitter truth that not everyone deserves their love, care, and affection.
Not everyone who seems distressed and unhappy is revealing their true self. There are some people who have sinister motives and have a very different outlook towards relationships and people than they do. Not everyone they fall in love with can be trusted so quickly.
18. The empath must realize that they too are in a very bad situation, similar to what the narcissist always spoke of.
But, in their case, it would be different. They would make positive efforts and heal themselves. The narcissist will not. Empaths are strong people, and they can always work on themselves to make their lives better.
19. For an empath, this will be a painful awakening.
They will learn from the experience to move ahead, even though the process of healing will be difficult for them. They will tap into their resilience and get out of this stronger and happier.
20. The narcissist will continue as if nothing happened and they are completely innocent.
They won’t remember for a moment that someone loved them so deeply and intensely. They won’t remember the powerful bond they once had with someone and just move on to find it somewhere else.
A time will come when they will know they can neither connect with themselves nor with other people.
21. The narcissist will move on.
In time they will find another victim.
22. The empath will be stronger, wiser, and more cautious about who they love.
Even though the toxic attraction between an empath and a narcissist might have been an incredibly traumatic and painful one, an empath can see it as a lesson. They will now know what they don’t want and what is acceptable and what is not. This will further help them be in happier and more normal relationships.
Empaths are extremely strong individuals, and narcissists are equally weak. Even though healing from narcissistic abuse is a long process, it can turn an empath’s life for the better and help them live their best lives.
Want to know more about the toxic relationship between an empath and narcissist? Then check this video out below!
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
What is the difference between an empath and a narcissist?
The main difference between an empath and a narcissist is that empaths are sensitive, compassionate, and pure-hearted individuals. Whereas, narcissists only care about themselves and don’t hesitate in hurting other people in order to fulfill their own needs.
Can you be both an empath and a narcissist?
No, you cannot be an empath and a narcissist at the same time.
What happens when an empath marries a narcissist?
When an empath marries a narcissist, all the narcissist cares about is the narcissistic supply they will get from the former. They exploit and abuse the empath in their own way, and gradually the empath becomes a shell of the person they used to be.