1 The empath gets attracted to a narcissist. Their relationship starts. Empath loves deeply and unconditionally. They feel emotionally fulfilled even though the narcissist plays no role to develop a stronger bond. The empath feels satisfied and thinks their love is reciprocated just by being around the narcissist.
2 The empath gets the false notion that they have finally met the kind of love that people don’t find even once. Narcissist affirms this by creating an illusion that leads the empath to believe that what they have is special. The empath feels a deep bond that is almost impossible to break free.
3 Sometimes it appears that the narcissist wants this relationship as much as the empath. Actually, what they want is someone who invests their time, energy and love and is in their complete control.
4 As the time will pass, the narcissist will make the empath feel weak, unconfident, and bereft of the abilities to do even the simple things. The narcissist will never launch an open attack, but use statements like “don’t want to hurt you but…” to point out some shortcoming. They will try to take over anything which symbolizes control such as handling bills or making decisions about purchases. The empathy will be looked down upon for their interests and many such things that form their identity. Gradually, the empath starts to believe that they are less capable and they “need” someone like the person in their life. They get the notion no one would want them.
5 For an empath, this relationship will be everything as they are the ones who are in love. Out of love, they would always want to soothe and cheer the narcissist, talk to them, help them and do whatever it makes them feel good. The narcissists project themselves as the victim of their past, their relationships, and the circumstances. The empaths are givers; they try to make up for all the unfortunate things that have ever happened to the narcissist.
6 The empath has a good and a clear heart and cannot imagine the deep and unresolved wounds of the narcissist are not the same as their own. Healing those wounds is different from their own.
7 The relationship is all about the narcissist. The empath realizes this slowly, and a time comes when they feel afraid to talk or fight for their needs and desires. In their attempt to please they don’t want to voice their true needs. They would rather be likable than give any reason to be disliked. But, secretly they are not too happy.
8 The more devotion, love, care, affection, and effort the empath puts into the relationship, the narcissist feels completely in control over the relationship. The empath literally dances to the tune of the narcissist. As long as the empath continues to appease the narcissist, it’s impossible to detect any problem in the relationship. The problem occurs when the empath finally reaches the breaking point.
9 Finally, the empath raises a voice because they can no longer keep up with the suppressing ways of the narcissist. Day after day their emotional needs remain unfulfilled. This happens because from the beginning of the relationship they have believed their partner’s emotional needs are all that matters. When they finally understand their well-being also matters, and speak out, they seem selfish. The narcissist does not like it.
10 The narcissist is an attention seeker. They get satisfaction when people fuss around them. Their needs can never be met, they can never be satisfied. They may move to other partners, open a new business, travel around the world, get involved in new creative pursuits, and so on and so forth, but they will never be happy. The empath isn’t aware of this fact.
11 When the empath finally bursts out something like “My feelings also matter,” the narcissist is quick to call the empath “crazy”. They call them over-dramatic and their concerns unfounded. This kind of dismissive behavior is the tactics used by them to gain control over the empath’s mind.
12 The empath gets confused. Why they have meted out such behavior, is beyond their understanding. They start blaming themselves and wonder if they are at all worthy of being loved by anyone at all.