When an empath loves a narcissist, the empath is left drained and empty of love and positivity. When an empath loves a narcissist, there is nothing but trouble.
See, an empath is a person who thrives on how much he or she can give. Empaths are selfless, always putting others first and making other people’s pain their own. Empaths aren’t scared to give fully and freely because, in their kindness and generosity, true love is born.
In a normal relationship, one that is healthy and strong, empaths’ love is reciprocated. Sometimes it returns in smaller doses, smaller capacities. Sometimes their love is just too big to be matched and so their partners learn to love them in other ways. But sometimes the empath gives and gives until he or she is empty.
That’s what happens when an empath loves a narcissist.
When an empath loves a narcissist, they give until there is nothing left. And the narcissist, too selfishly focused, fail to see the outpouring of love. Instead, they see it as an opportunity to take, then reprimand for how easily they make the narcissist the center of his or her world.
When an empath loves a narcissist, the narcissist believes they are weak.
Instead of understanding the depth of the empath’s love, the narcissist questions why the empath is so reliant, so helpless. Rather than understanding that their love comes from a place of strength and security, the narcissist sees it as pathetic. To them, this type of love is only from someone who is insecure, from someone who is immature and led by emotions rather than common sense.
Narcissists don’t understand how to look outside of themselves, to see love in different forms. Their definition of love is how much they can be given to—not how much they can give.
When a narcissist forms a relationship, the focus is what’s in it for them. They are looking for a connection that benefits, and if there’s no clear advantage to falling for that person, they simply won’t.
There is a barrier between these two types of people. One is ready and willing to believe. The other is only looking for how their own lives can improve.
And so, the relationship begins with an unequal give and take. Everything begins with one person being the pursuer and the other being pursued.
At first, there is joy. The empath pours; the narcissist soaks up. They are doing what they love—giving, being led by their heart. And the narcissists have all eyes on them. Everything seems wonderful, easy.
Until it all crashes and burns.
Until the narcissists find something else that catches their eye, or until they decide they are worth more. And the poor empaths are left standing with their arms and hearts open wide, wondering how they could end up empty when they had given everything they possibly could.
Unfortunately, there are no happy endings when an empath loves a narcissist. There are only hearts with mismatched beats, relationships with looming endings, and disappointment at every turn.