You may have come across the terms “Empath” and “Narcissist” and their “toxic attraction” but what do the terms “Empath” and Narcissist” really mean and what is the reality of their relationships.
Empaths and Narcissists Defined
The term “Empaths” refers to people who are highly sensitive to the needs and emotions of others. They put others needs before their own, and are motivated by an intrinsic desire to help and heal humanity.
The term “Narcissists” refers to people who have a grandiose sense of self. They put their needs first, and are motivated by their own self-interest and ego-driven desires.
Narcissists are not born but made out of certain difficult circumstances that they faced during their childhood or youth. Their emotions were not reciprocated ideally in their early years and hence they grow up with a lot of emotional pain and instability. They try to cover up the pain by creating a grandiose sense of self and seeking external validation and attention.
The Reality of Their Toxic Relationship
Empaths and Narcissists are attracted to each other because they mirror each other’s shadow sides. They unconsciously project their dark sides and deepest fears onto each other.
Empaths don’t know that they have a fear of rejection or loss or abandonment. They try to cover up this fear by extending love and support to everyone around them but they do not know that the solution really lies in facing their fear and loving themselves before they try to rescue others.
Empaths lack boundaries and unconsciously look upto the narcissist to set boundaries for them.
Empaths need to detach a bit form their emotions and learn emotional independence before they can have healthy relationships. Till they don’t practice self-love or learn to create strong boundaries, they will keep on attracting Narcissists in their lives.
Narcissists struggle with fear of commitment, emotional attachment and vulnerability. They did not get any emotional validation in their childhood and they do not know how to handle their emotions properly so they rely on Empaths to live out their emotional intensity through them. They think that embracing their vulnerability and emotions will make them weak and cause them more pain so they cut off themselves from any emotions or empathy. They only live out to feed their grandiose sense of self. They must learn to become responsible by allowing themselves to feel their emotions fully, before they can have healthy relationships.
How to end the Toxic Cycle
For abusive and co-dependent relationships to work, there has to be an imbalance in both the parties involved. If the abused refuses to take abuse and simply walks away, the abuse would stop.
The first step to end the toxic cycle is the awareness and recognition that the relationship dynamic is unhealthy.
An Empath can save himself from the toxic relationship dynamic if he becomes self aware and embraces his shadow side and practices healthy boundaries.
In case you’re an Empath, you need to learn to emotionally detach a little so that you can see through the real intentions of people and can identify a Narcissist when you come across one.
Here are the five kinds of Narcissists you may have a chance encounter with:
1) The Self Pity Narcissist
Not all Narcissist are outwardly and boasting kinds. Some are reserved and keep to themselves. They feel they are not good enough for anything. They constantly battle with fear and insecurities. They wallow in Self pity and self loathing and look for external validation to feel comforted.
2) The Champion
On the other side of the spectrum are the ones who consider themselves to be champions and super heroes. They have a grandiose sense of self and believe that they are above everybody else. They have a sense of entitlement and feel that everyone around them should appreciate and acknowledge their superiority.
3) The Best Partner
They are the kinds who will shower you with love and affection till you lose yourselves in their world. It is commonly known as the “love bombing “technique where in they shower you with love and affection in the beginning stages of the relationship to have you hooked to them.
But once you stop yielding to their demands or they get bored, they would simply pack their bags and go. The love and care that they expressed was never real, it was just their way of getting what they wanted.
4) The Snobs
They are the kinds who never see anything beyond themselves. They will constantly brag about themselves and their accomplishments.
5) The Intriguer
They are the kinds who will pique your interest by their social image. They will come across as community workers or care givers of the society but what they are doing is not really selfless, they always want something in return for their kindness.
These tips will help you to avoid getting into a relationship with a Narcissist in the first place but if you are already in one, then the best way to get of the relationship is to simply walk out without any prior notice or discussion.
Narcissists are very charming people and good with manipulation, if you give them a chance to discuss things, they would cajole you with their apologies and tricks.
Don’t fall into that trap. It’s important for you to realize that charity begins at home and you need to practice self love and set boundaries before you try to fix every broken soul in the world.
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