The Dirty Empath With The Narcissistic Streak Of Infidelity

 / 

, ,
Dirty Empath With Narcissistic Streak Of Infidelity

Not all are โ€œlight and love.โ€ Did you know there is a dark side of an empath? When an empath has the hidden traits of a narcissist, they’re known as the Dirty Empath.

The Empath. Regarded as a paragon of virtue with those traits of honesty, decency, compassion, love devotee, moral compass and so on. All of which make the empath and their fuel output tempting prey for us. Yet within these virtuous empathic traits sit other traits, narcissistic traits.

There are four schools of empath (Standard, Super, Co-Dependent and Contagion) . Layered on to these schools are the empathic cadres (such as Magnet, Carrier and Geyser).

Each empath within the relevant school has both empathic and narcissistic traits. Some will have a small number of strong empathic traits with few narcissistic traits which are low in strength. Some will have many empathic traits which are moderate in strength and have few or numerous narcissistic traits which are all very low in strength.

Some will have many empathic traits which are strong and numerous narcissistic traits which are moderate or even quite strong. The key consideration is that, in effect, the empathic traits keep the narcissistic ones โ€˜in checkโ€™ and thus the empathic individuals behave in a way which is empathic with other people.

There are however two main instances when the narcissistic traits come to the fore. The first is through The Empathic Supernova which is when the empathic traits become โ€˜dialled downโ€™ or eroded for a temporary time and thus the narcissistic traits come to the fore. The second instance is a permanent state of affairs and this is the class of the Dirty Empath.

Related: Why The Saviour Empaths Are Desired By Narcissists

The individual is empathic, of that there is no doubt, they have those empathic traits, they also have narcissistic traits too, however one of those narcissistic traits remains strong and prominent throughout and sits alongside the fewer, weaker narcissistic traits and the various empathic traits of varying strength. This does not mean this person is a narcissist, not at all. It does not mean that this person is not an empath.

What it means is that they are an empath but there is one (sometimes there might be more) narcissistic trait which โ€˜dirtiesโ€™ their empathic status. Think of the empath coloured white with a black streak running through them.

This class of Dirty Empath has various streaks which appertain to the relevant narcissistic trait which prevails and this includes the streak of infidelity.

Thus where the empath is already in a romantic relationship, whether living together,boyfriend and girlfriend or married and they embark on a romantic, sexual relationship outside of that relationship, their narcissistic trait of infidelity has risen to the surface and remained there. What has caused that to happen? As ever, it is a symbiotic equation.

The Dirty Empath And Infidelity

From the empathโ€™s side there is something not right within their existing relationship which means that the narcissistic trait comes to the fore.

For instance, let us take the example whereby the spouse of the empath is either an empath or a normal and has become impotent and/or has no interest in sex any more. All else is well within the relationship โ€“ they care for the empath, they pull their weight around the home, they are a good parent, they have a decent job and so on.

Related: Heavy Lies The Crown Of A Narcissist

All is largely well, save for the issue of sexual relations. In such a situation, the empathic spouse has the following choices:-

  1. Recognise that all else is well within the relationship, that sex is but one facet (albeit an important one) and accept that it is better to have all of the other good elements of the relationship and therefore not seek to damage the relationship or hurt their spouse by seeking sexual interaction outside of the marriage. This is the response of an empath who has no dirty streak of the narcissistic trait of infidelity;
  2. As above save that the empath regards sex as so significant that they need it yet they do not want to hurt their spouse. Accordingly, they seek their spouseโ€™s blessing to seek sex outside of the marriage but otherwise want nothing more external to the relationship. This is the response of an empath who has the narcissistic trait of infidelity but it is not so strong as to amount to a dirty streak;
  3. As per point one, save that the empath craves sexual interaction and knows it can only be achieved outside of the relationship. They therefore seek out sexual encounters with other people but have no desire to leave the existing relationship. This individualโ€™s narcissistic dirty streak has risen to the fore and governed the behaviour of this particular empath.

With regard to this third element it remains relatively rare that the empath will do this unilaterally because their traits of guilt, honesty, decency and compassion will fight against the desire to accommodate the narcissistic desire of infidelity.

If the narcissistic trait is very strong, the empath may still seek out these encounters and have them with normal people, an empath in a similar position to their own or find a narcissist.

What happens more often than not in this third situation is that the empath spouse has been targeted by our kind.

An empath with no narcissistic streak of infidelity (or a very low one) will resist the sexual overtures of the narcissist. They may remain as a Non Intimate Secondary Source to the narcissist. It is highly unlikely they would be targeted to begin with in any event by the narcissist.

An empath with a narcissistic streak of infidelity, which is greater than very low, will succumb to the overtures of the narcissist and find themselves engaged in an affair, breaking their wedding vows, breaching the trust of their partner and becoming sucked in to the world of the narcissist. If the narcissistic streak of infidelity is very strong, the empath may even have sought out (unconsciously) the narcissist.

Combine the narcissistic streak of infidelity in the Dirty Empath and a narcissist and infidelity is a given. How this pans out very much depends on the desires and wants of the narcissist. Please see the latter part of The Married Target as to how we are drawn to those who are married and are thus susceptible to our overtures.

We may want the empath to become our IPPS and thus they are designated the role of Candidate IPSS as we love bomb them and lure them away from their spouse using our range of manipulations in the way that is described in โ€˜The Married Targetโ€™.

It may be the case that both Dirty Empath and narcissist are content with an arrangement whereby the Dirty Empath is a Shelf IPSS and sees the narcissist intermittently and is treated as a friend with benefits, side person or mistress. Both parties are content with this.

The Dirty Empath – Narcissistic Trait Of Infidelity

The narcissist gains in accordance with The Prime Aims and the Dirty Empath scratches that itch for sex outside of the marriage (coupled with the excitement that accords with it) but keeps their own relationship intact.

Sometimes the Dirty Empath becomes the Dirty Little Secret and is content with that arrangement also.

Note however that whether the Dirty Empath is a Candidate IPSS, Shelf IPSS or Dirty Little Secret, this is always at the behest and control of the narcissist. The Dirty Empath may willingly embrace the dynamic (unaware of course that they are with a narcissist and what their role is) as it fulfils the desires of the narcissistic trait of infidelity.

The issue arises however when the Dirty Empath wants to remain in the role of Shelf IPSS or DLS but the narcissist wants the empath to become the IPPS. Battle is joined to pull the Dirty Empath in the direction the narcissist requires with all of the drama, triangulation and heartache that follows.

The problem for the Dirty Empath is that having allowed themselves to be governed by the narcissistic streak of infidelity they have already trampled over their partner and the narcissist knows this. In the same way you cannot get a little bit pregnant, you cannot be a little bit unfaithful, you either are not or you are.

Where the Dirty Empath has hitherto enjoyed being the Shelf IPSS or DLS, keeping this activity secret from their partner and enjoying all the other benefits of the best of both worlds, it is the narcissist who ultimately calls the tune and if he or she wants that Dirty Empath in a different role, the narcissist will strive to make it happen.

If the Dirty Empath will not accord with the change of allocated role then he or she can expect their partner to be told of their infidelity and invariably the narcissist will have evidence (photos, film, documentary evidence of hotel trysts, oral testimony from Lieutenants) to use against the Dirty Empath. If the threat of release of this material does not persuade the Dirty Empath to submit to the whim of the narcissist, then it will be released.

The hitherto painted white Dirty Empath will be painted black, they will be devalued prior to dis-engagement and their own existing relationship with spouse or partner will be the prime target of the narcissist for the purposes of causing its destruction and spreading misery.

The need to punish the disobedient Dirty Empath and the significant fuel available (negative fuel from IPSS, negative fuel from secondary/tertiary cuckolded spouse, negative fuel from secondary/tertiary sources allied with said spouse and/or Dirty Empath, positive fuel from loyal secondary/tertiary sources to the narcissist) means that the chances of the Dirty Empath being โ€˜let offโ€™ are virtually nil.

The Dirty Empath may find they can keep their own infidelity quiet for some time, remain as a DLS or Shelf IPSS and enjoy an elongated golden period with the narcissist, but they have no control over that. If it continues that way, this is purely down to the approach of the narcissist.

There remains a risk that the narcissist will wish to change the dynamic and with that comes significant consequences for the playing away Dirty Empath, his or her spouse, partner and family.

Related: The Dark Side Of Being An Empath – The Minds Journal

Those who โ€œgive inโ€ to their narcissistic trait and this is usually because a narcissist has โ€˜sniffed outโ€™ this Dirty Empath will eventually end up suffering.

This happens in the following circumstances of the Dirty Empath :-

  1. The DE is DLS or Shelf IPSS for some time and then the narcissist wants to promote them to Candidate IPSS and then IPPS, but the DE does not want this as this will blow open their infidelity;
  2. The DE is DLS or Shelf IPSS for some time and then the narcissist decides to dis-engage against the will of the DE;
  3. The DE wants to become the IPPS of the narcissist, but the narcissist does not want this to happen;
  4. The DE wants to become the IPPS of the narcissist, achieves this, leaves their former spouse with all of the attendant heartache that causes and then enjoys a golden period with their newly acquired (but unrecognised) narcissist. Of course you know what is coming next donโ€™t you? Yes, the DE IPPS is then devalued and dis-engaged from. Their narcissistic streak of infidelity has seen them lured from an otherwise satisfying relationship, drawn by the golden allure of the unrecognised narcissist only for that to collapse and now they find themselves alone, rejected and often hated by narcissist and the cuckolded spouse they once had.

The Dirty Empath with the narcissistic streak of infidelity who becomes ensnared by our kind is only heading for misery. They do not have the lack of remorse, lack of conscience or lack of guilt that allows us to drive ever forward. Instead they are left to rue the consequences of this narcissistic trait being intensified and exploited by our kind.

Have you come across an empath with the narcissistic trait of infidelity? Share your thoughts in the comments below!


Written By HG Tudor
Originally Appeared On narcsite
Dirty Empath With Narcissistic Streak Of Infidelity pin
Dark Empath: Narcissistic Traits Of Infidelity
Dirty Empath Narcissistic Streak Of Infidelity

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply



Up Next

Empath or Enabler? Truths About Toxic Empathy And 5 Ways To Break Free

How Toxic Empathy Is Ruining Your Life and What You Can Do

Have you ever wondered why some people seem to be overly sensitive and emotionally drained by the problems of others? Can too much empathy be harmful? Is there such a thing as toxic empathy?

While empathy is considered a valuable trait that promotes understanding and compassion, there is a lesser-known phenomenon called toxic empathy that can have detrimental effects on both the empath and those around them. 

Today, let us explore what is toxic empathy disorder, what causes toxic empathy, can too much empathy be a bad thing, and learn strategies to deal with it.

What is Toxic Empathy?



Up Next

Empath Vs Empathetic: 7 Differences Between An Empath And Empathetic Person

Empath Vs Empathetic: Differences Between The Two

When we talk about feelings for others, two words often come up: “empath” and “empathetic person.” While they may seem similar, there are quite a few differences between these two terms. This article is going to discuss the differences between an empath vs empathetic person.

Think of an empath as someone who feels what others feel, like they can actually feel other people’s emotions. On the other hand, an empathetic person understands and cares about othersโ€™ emotions but doesnโ€™t absorb them as their own.

Read on to know more about the spectrum of being an empath vs empathetic person.



Up Next

The Healing Power: How Empathy Boosts Your Immune System

How Empathy Can Improve Your Immune Response: Best Way

Empathy isn’t just about understanding othersโ€”it could boost your health too. Learn how empathy can improve your immune response and be a unique pathway to well-being.

How does empathy work on a biological level to boost your immune system? 

Research indicates that you can heal faster when your body receives messages such empathy, kindness, and tolerance. These trigger an initial immune responseโ€”then your bodyโ€™s natural healing forces can kick in too.



Up Next

7 Surprising Triggers For Empaths: Identifying And Coping Strategies For Emotional Harmony

Hidden Triggers for Empaths: Understanding & Managing Them

Do you often feel overwhelmed by othersโ€™ emotions? Do their emotions suddenly change your mood for no clear reason? If yes, then it is highly likely that you are an empath, a person who is extremely sensitive to the energies and emotions of others. And thatโ€™s why you need to know about triggers for empaths.

Today let us focus on understanding emotional triggers for empaths, how empath anxiety triggers can impact your well-being, and what you can do to navigate these triggers in your everyday life.

Who is an empath?

An empath is someone who has high levels of empathy and is attuned to othersโ€™ energies and



Up Next

What Is Nonviolent Communication? 20+ Tips To Practice Empathy In Communicationย 

What Is Nonviolent Communication And How To Practice It

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where words escalated into conflict, leaving you feeling unheard and misunderstood? Communication is vital for human relationships, yet it often turns out to be a source of tension and discord. So letโ€™s explore what is nonviolent communication (NVC) and how to practice NVC.

What is Nonviolent Communication (NVC)?

Nonviolent Communication is a powerful framework that can change our way of speaking and relating to others leading to understanding, empathy and peaceful resolution.

But exactly what is nonviolent communication? Developed by psy



Up Next

Are You A Caretaker Or A Caregiver In Your Relationship? Understand The Difference Between Empathy And Codependency

Empathy And Codependency: Differences You Should Know

Ever wondered if you’re kind or codependent? Explore the fine line between empathy and codependency, learn to differentiate caretaking from caregiving, and take a revealing quiz to self-reflect!

Do you wonder whether youโ€™re a kind, empathetic person or codependent? There is a difference between empathy and codependency. There are codependents who are abusers and not caring, and some people who are caring and arenโ€™t codependent. So whatโ€™s the difference?

What Is Empathy And Codependency?

First, the definition of codependency has noth



Up Next

What Is Empathetic Listening? 9 Tips To Master The Power Of Understanding In Communication

What Is Empathetic Listening? Techniques and Benefits

Have you ever had a conversation with someone where you felt truly heard and understood? A conversation where the other person seemed to be fully present, not just hearing your words, but also grasping the emotions and meaning behind them? This remarkable experience is a result of empathetic listening. What is empathetic listening, you ask? 

It is a skill that goes beyond the surface to foster genuine connection and understanding. Let us explore what is empathetic listening, active listening vs empathic listening, benefits of empathic listening, skills of empathetic listeners and empathic listening techniques. We will also share some valueable tips for empathic listening.

So, grab a cup of coffee, settle into a comfortable spot, and let’s embark on a journey to explore the transformative power of empathetic listening.<