The words of seduction used by the narcissist might seem very exciting and sensual at first, but the reality is starkly different.
What is really meant when we say these words.
The perfect ten sentences of Seduction used by the Narcissist and what they actually mean:
1. I love you and I always have
My need to seduce you is considerable and therefore I will use language which will appeal to you and be so outlandish that it will blow you away. I do not actually love you. I do not love the way that you do. I understand that the closest I come to it is infatuation. I am not in fact infatuated with you but more precisely with what you can do for me. My needs are paramount. Yours are largely irrelevant. I write irrelevant because I do take them into account during the seduction but after that, they are thrown to one side. I love the fact you fuel me, allow me to steal traits of you for my own use and you give me shelter, meals, and money.
2. We are soulmates
I know you are a big believer in emotional concepts such as love, spirituality, and the soul. I need to tap into that and I need to do so quickly. I want to suggest that our love goes beyond this earthly plane on which we stand and it is something all the more ethereal and noble. That ought to impress you and cause you to become bound to me. I am not your soul mate, I am here to steal your soul because I do not have one.
3. I have not loved anyone like this before
There will be half a dozen willing witnesses who will testify to the contrary. In my world, however, I have deleted them from my mind (except when I fancy hoovering them and triangulating them with you for some extra fuel) and there was nothing like what I feel for you now. They are defunct and redundant, an unfortunate reminder of an abuser who trapped me. They do not matter now, you are all that matters to me now, your fuel, to be accurate, is all that matters to me now.
4. I want us to be together forever
There is no want about it. We are already locked together forever. You may not think this and indeed somewhere along the line, you will want to escape me, although quite why that is when you are the problem, is beyond me. Anyway, that is for later. Right now you have agreed (although you will never recall having said such words to that effect) to remain my property for the rest of your life. This means that everything you own, have and is now belongs to me and I will deal with it in whatever fashion I see fit. I will use and abuse you over and over again as this is my right. Just when you think I have disappeared I will be back more. This is a life-long covenant.
5. We have so much in common
What a wonderful occurrence, such serendipity that everything you like I like as well. Even better, all the things that you do not like, I do not like either. It as if we are two halves of one perfect person. That is exactly what I see because all I will do is mirror you. I have spent time watching you, observing you, finding out about you from friends and scouring your internet footprint in order to learn as much as I can about you so that I can present myself as a mirror image. I actually cannot stand listening to Coldplay but that isn’t going to stand in the way of my replication so I seduce you with incredible speed and ease.
6. I hate it when we are apart
A rare nugget of truth here. I do hate it when we are apart but for the reasons, I have made you think. You think it is because I miss the wonderful, kind, humorous and delightful you. I actually miss all that positive fuel you supply me with when we are together as you are taken in by this illusion that I have created. Moreover, I hate the fact that when I am not with you I cannot control your environment and I am concerned that with space to think and breathe you may just see through what I am doing or even worse, you may listen to one of your so-called friends who will be whispering in your ear and briefing against me. I don’t want your head turned elsewhere. I want it looking at me. Always.
I heard “soulmate” so many times, it’s completely lost all meaning.
He said all these things… for years. I was so high on all that love and attention. What a wonderful gentleman he was towards me. And then, his rage & contempt towards me arrived… then he became a victim of me. (in stark contrast to the manly man he had been). He ganged up with “our” friends wives, smeared and humiliated me, then moved in with his emeshed narc mom. She absolutely hated me the whole time we were together… and then she got him back after he discarded me.
Yes, he said I was the most important thing in his life. Not true. I am convenient. Now he knows I am leaving and is not even talking to me. I have no love left for him. He destroyed it. All about his past and his conquests. So sickening to hear. Get out while you can before you lose your soul.
These words… are EXACTLY the same as my devil narcissist bf came up with in the first months.. now i’m finally getting through this madness with opened eyes like never before. These posts like yours are my salvation and i hope it’ll help others the same as it helped me in my narcissistic abuse recovery journey. Good luck everyone, do your best to regain your strenght, because we deserve our own love. And we’re not alone, we’re gonna get throught this cause we’re survivors, angels.