7 Stages Of An Emotional Abuser’s Trap


, ,
Stages Of Emotional Abusers Trap

Being on the other side of emotional abuse is a painful and devastating place to be. Falling into an emotional abuser’s trap can change the way you feel about yourself and how you perceive life. But what is an emotional abuser’s trap? And how does it work?

Psychopaths, sociopaths, and narcissists are pros when it comes to manipulating and tricking people into doing their bidding. They know exactly how to behave when it comes to making you fall into their trap; it’s really no surprise why they are known to be dangerous and toxic.

Such individuals tend to go for people who are empaths, or those people who have codependent tendencies. This is because this gives them the power to manipulate and control them any way they want, which includes exploiting their insecurities, compassion, and trust.

Emotional abuse doesn’t just pop up on you, it’s a gradual process that creeps in slowly with its poisonous nature, and eats you up from the inside. And the sad part is, you don’t even realize it is happening until it’s too late. It’s dehumanizing, to say the least.

In order to understand an emotional abuser’s trap, you need to know the signs and steps of it. This way you will be able to recognize their games and tricks and protect yourself from them.

Related: Covert Verbal Abuse: Passive Aggressive Behavior That Aims to Control You

7 Stages Of An Emotional Abuser’s Trap

1. The ‘Idealization’ phase starts, where they pamper the hell out of you.

The idealization stage is the very first stage of their trap. This is the stage where they shower love, attention, special treatment, and flattery on you. They will make you feel like you are the center of their Universe and the apple of their eye, and they just can’t imagine their lives without you.

Emotional abusers do all this, so that they can create the perfect and idealized image in front of you, which will make you fall head over heels in love with them, and that too very fast. This stage is all about winning your trust and proving themselves to be the most perfect person to walk on the Earth.

This stage is also known as the love-bombing stage and is all about leading you on and making you think that you have finally found ‘The One’.

Emotional abuser’s trap

2. You start to see them in a positive light only; they are absolutely perfect in your eyes.

Now, after all their pampering, you are finally in their clutches. You start to see them as the most perfect person you have ever known in your life; someone who ‘understands’ you, ‘loves’ you, and is everything you have been looking for, for all these years.

They are absolutely flawless in your eyes and the ideal partner for you. You feel lucky to have them in your life, and you can’t wait to tell the world, how fortunate you are to have met them. Slowly and steadily, you start getting attached to them, and before you know it, you have become mentally and emotionally dependent.

This stage is all about baiting you into the trap and then locking you in it for good. And this is done by making you emotionally dependent on them by gaining your trust and respect. At this point, you’ve fallen in love with them completely and trust them blindly.

Related: Emotional Abuse Assessment

3. Now, they slowly start to pull away from you.

Once you are finally in the emotional abuser’s trap, and you trust them 100%, they gradually start to pull away from you. And this pulling away happens very stealthily, so much so that you don’t even realize that it’s happening. Be it narcissistic abuse or emotional abuse, this stage is bound to happen.

Your intuition will be hinting at this to you, but you dismiss it as anxiety and overthinking. You start to notice that their calls and texts have reduced, they ignore your attempts at getting in touch with them, they seem distant and uninterested, and you start feeling like a burden on them.

That ‘unconditional love’ and ‘passion’ dwindles away, leaving you to think about what is going wrong, or what could you have done wrong. You hold yourself responsible for this change, and try your best to bring those happy days back.

You keep on giving them second chances, forgive them, and make all sorts of excuses for them. Whatever they need, you give it to them without any complaints and questions (understanding, space, love, support, etc.). You keep convincing yourself that they genuinely love you, and this is just a rough patch you both are going through.

4. You keep telling yourself that the relationship has a future.

Once you realize that it’s not just a rough patch you are going through, your relationship is actually going down the drain, you constantly look for ways to repair it. It becomes hard for you to accept that they might not be ‘The One’. You ignore your needs and keep on sacrificing and compromising your happiness just to make sure that they are happy.

And this is exactly what they want you to do. When you’re in an emotional abuser’s trap, you don’t know what the truth is, rather you refuse to see what their real truth is. They will make you feel like everything’s your fault, and that you are the reason why the relationship is going downhill; in other words, you’re not good enough for them anymore.

5. The changes in your relationship start to break your heart and spirit, bit by bit.

The abuse starts to become more prominent, and the mistreatment is not subtle anymore. They are insensitive, disrespectful, and mean to you, and they don’t care how it makes you feel. They insult you and put you down for having the bare minimum expectations from them, they call you selfish if you try to talk to them about your feelings, and last but not the least, they resort to name-calling.

They accuse you to be over-sensitive, psychotic, crazy, and problematic. Blame games, excessive criticism, and gaslighting becomes a regular part of your life. If you try to call them out on their negative actions, they resort to denial and gaslighting and hold you responsible for everything that’s wrong with the relationship.

No matter how desperately you try to save the relationship, you are always met with sarcasm, insults, and abuse. Your abuser disregards all your feelings, and your begging and crying do nothing to their cold, icy heart. You refuse to accept that the person you love is treating you like this and that you deserve better.

You refuse to give up on them and the relationship, and you keep on unknowingly breaking your heart and spirit in the process. The emotional abuser’s trap has finally broken you.

Related: Are You In An Abusive Relationship And Don’t Even Know It? 4 Identifying Signs

6. Gradually, you start seeing the truth and start to put the pieces together.

Slowly, you start to see the kind of relationship you have with them. You gradually realize what kind of person they are, and what they have been doing all this time. You discover that the ‘love of your life’ has been exploiting you and has been playing with your emotions for so many days, and blaming you for everything.

They have been manipulating the truth along with you and making you believe that it’s all your fault; they wanted to portray you as the crazy one, and themselves as the saintly victim. Now that you finally realize that it was all a dirty game for them, you feel rage and anger within you.

And not just anger, you feel insulted, humiliated and heartbroken for being treated like this by the very person who you loved so much. But the good thing is that you finally see the emotional abuser’s trap for what it truly is.

Emotional abuser’s trap

7. Unfortunately, nobody believes you and the horrible things you went through.

When you got into a relationship with your abuser, the people who supported you and were excited for you, those same people are now discrediting your experience. They don’t believe what you went through and make you feel like you are the one who made a mistake.

To them, your experiences are ‘not a big deal’, and you are just ‘playing the victim’. To make matters worse, they accuse you of being resentful, bitter, and angry because you can’t handle your breakup. They take your abuser’s side because your abuser has always presented themselves as perfect, and there’s no way they can ever treat you badly.

Their irresistible charm and treachery have turned your own people against you, and now all you are left with are the broken pieces of your heart and soul, which only you have to put back together, without any love or support whatsoever.

In order to move on from all the pain and disrespect, you need to cut off all contact with your emotional abuser. Now that you know the characteristics of an emotional abuser, you need to make sure that you never make the mistake of falling into an emotional abuser’s trap again.

Related: How Abusers Trap You Into Staying In Abusive Relationships With Them

Remove them from your life forever, and focus on rebuilding your trust bit by bit, one day at a time. Give them no access to your life, and if needed, even block them from your social media. Focus on yourself, and focus on your healing.

You are a remarkably strong person, and you have the power and strength to move on from this. Always remember these emotional abuser traits and how the emotional abuser’s trap works, so that nobody else can ever play with your heart and feelings again.

The Emotional Abuser’s Trap
7 Stages Of An Emotional Abuser’s Trap
Stages Of Emotional Abusers Trap pin
Emotional Abusers Trap Stages

— Share —

— About the Author —


  1. Kenny Knox Avatar
    Kenny Knox

    Absolutely spot on. They always have an excuse and have no care of the damage caused to others. They also see themselves as victims and seek validation from others while saying you are the cause of the problems despite everything you have done for them. When you are done, broken and left alone they have no use for you anymore.

Leave a Reply

Up Next

Man vs Bear Debate: What is the Right Choice for Women?

Man vs Bear Debate: Is It Safe To Choose a Bear Over Man?

Even though Leonardo Di Caprio has proven that men can beat a bear in strength and intelligence, let’s not get carried away and remember that a bear can be more powerful than men. You can guess that we are here to discuss why women chose bear in the man vs bear debate.

The real question is, what threatens women more? Getting mauled by a bear and meeting a horrific death or getting violated by a man??

Women are inclined to the second option in the viral Man vs Bear debate.

Up Next

Brain Fog After Narcissistic Abuse? 8 Ways Narcissists Can Muddle Your Brain

Brain Fog After Narcissistic Abuse? Reasons Why It Happens

Have you ever heard of the term “brain fog”? Brain fog is like a maddening haze that seems to muddle your thoughts, makes you forget what you were saying, and has you searching for your clothes in the trash bin? Well, today we are going to talk about a specific sort of brain fog – brain fog after narcissistic abuse.

Imagine that you have just escaped from a toxic and abusive relationship with a narcissist. You are slowly picking up the pieces and trying to get your life back in order, but somehow you feel like your head is not in the right place. Everything still feels very odd and you still feel very lost.

Even though you are free from the clutches of your narcissistic ex, this bizarre mental fog just won’t lift. Let’s explore how narcissists cause brain fog, and the link between brain fog and narcissistic abuse.

Up Next

Toxic Bosses Unmasked: 20 Warning Signs to Watch For

Toxic Bosses Unmasked: Warning Signs to Watch For

Having a toxic boss can really take a toll on you mentally, and toxic bosses are seriously so horrible. This article is going to help you understand the traits of a toxic boss so that you know which behaviors are not normal and ethical. Read on to know more about the signs of a toxic boss or toxic bosses.

We hear about toxic bosses all the time, but how do you know when a boss is “toxic”? “Toxic” is, of course, a vague descriptor. Are bosses toxic when they throw fits and scream, or only when they break the law?

Or are they toxic when they are immoral or unethical? Are they toxic if they’re nice one day and nasty the next, or just when they make you uncomfortable, nervous, or sick? These are valid questions because these individuals are easy to identify when their behaviors are outrageous; but perhaps less so when their behavior

Up Next

How To Know If Your Mother Hates You: 8 Not-So-Subtle Signs

How To Know If Your Mother Hates You: Not-So-Subtle Signs

Have you ever found yourself wondering if your mother harbors some deep-seated resentment, or even hatred towards you? If you have, then I know that it’s a really tough pill to swallow. How can your mother hate you, and most importantly, how to know if your mother hates you?

Today, we’re diving straight into the realm of family dynamics, exploring the question “why does my mother hate me?”. We will try to understand the signs that give away her true feelings for you, and which may indicate if your mother’s love has taken a dark turn.

Let’s uncover 8 revealing clues that might just help you make sense of the complicated bond you share with your mom. Explore how to know if your mother hates you.

Up Next

How to Recognize and Counter Emotional Blackmail: 8 Techniques and 7 Signs

What Is Emotional Blackmail? Telltale Signs Revealed

Picture this: You’re sitting across from a friend, engrossed in conversation, when suddenly you feel the atmosphere change. Their tone becomes harsh, their eyes seem accusatory, and it feels like you’re trapped in an emotional minefield. Now, that’s what is emotional blackmail.

We’ve all experienced it at some point in our lives, whether it’s a toxic relationship, a manipulative friend, or even within our own families. But what is emotional blackmail exactly, and how to deal with emotional blackmail?

In this article, we are going to take a look into the world of emotional blackmail and try to understand each and every nuance. We will talk about the signs of emotional blackmail, the types of emotional blackmail and how to deal with emotional blackmail.

So, are you ready to do this?

Up Next

What Does Being Submissive Mean? 9 Warning Signs You Might Be A Meek, Submissive Woman

What Does Being Submissive Mean? Signs Of A Meek Woman

Ever wondered, “What does being submissive mean?” Well, let’s put it this way: it’s like constantly being in the backseat of your life’s car, letting others take the wheel while you navigate the road of existence.

For example, meet Jess. She’s that friend who’s always putting everyone else’s happiness and needs before her own, and she often finds herself getting involved in abusive and unhealthy relationships.

If you relate to Jess and the ways she lives life, then you might be in for a very rude reality check. Because this points to the realm of female submissiveness. Stick around as we uncover nine warning signs that scream, “Hey, you might be more like Jess than you think!”


Up Next

What Is Unintentional Gaslighting? The Surprising Ways You Might Be Gaslighting Without Knowing It

What Is Unintentional Gaslighting? How Good Intentions Can Go Awry

Ever found yourself questioning your own reality after interaction with someone you know? Unintentional gaslighting can sneak into conversations, leaving you feeling disoriented and invalidated, even when no harm is intended.

Accidental, unintended or unconscious gaslighting in relationships can make you doubt your own thoughts, feelings, or even sanity. Someone’s words or actions can make you feel uncertain, dazed & confused without even realizing it.

Gaslighting, a term derived from a movie titled “Gaslight,” refers to the act of manipulating someone into doubting their own experiences and perceptions. But what is unintentional gaslighting?

Let’s explore this lesser-known concept and shed light on