I Was In An Abusive Relationship And Didn’t Even Know It

Do you feel being manipulated in your relationship?

Do you find yourself confused, off balance and helpless often?

Does every fight with him makes you feel to be the accuse rather than the victim at the end of the day?

Maybe you do not have bruises on your body but the mind is constantly being subjected to traumas. May be your body does not bleed but your heart does, after every fight. These are the indications that you are in an abusive relationship.

Abuse is not just limited to the physical torture rather it comprises of all those actions that make you feel hopeless and controlled by your partner.

Several incidents that were reported, clearly put the light on the fact the victim did not have an idea of the sufferings because the good actions of the partner overshadowed the ill treatment done by him. He would for sure make compensations for his ill doings. Hence, the sufferer gets too clingy and attached to lose the person. And till he realizes, it takes off the major part of the personality thereby making the victim weak.

It is essential to realize the wrongs and save yourself from getting destroyed in the hands of an abuser. Here are few of the signs that will help you spot one such kind.

1.  The biggest decision could be getting in a relationship with the intentions and confidence to change your partner ultimately.

This is what gives him space to commit wrongs every single day. It is you who keeps on giving him chances and space. Do not ignore the very first signs or acts of abuse. Your ignorant attitude would only give it time to grow up further. Hence save yourself before it gets torturous.


2.  If you find yourself being a puppet in the hands of your partner, it shows that you are in an abusive relationship.

Initially, he would ask you to drop your plans and stay with him or abandon taking to the guy friends or agreeing to what he says. But gradually it would make him the most dominating being of your life that will kill your individuality. Being in relationship means being with someone who can walk beside you. You are not supposed to lose you self esteem and become dependent for everything.


3.  You need to understand the difference between possessiveness and insecurity.

You have all the rights to be possessive about your partner but if every action of him makes you doubtful about the relationship, you need to think again. Love is all about trust and care. There is no space for any such distraction that makes you weak. If you will continue bounded by the fears and insecurities, you will die of consumption.


4.  Stop blaming yourself for every of his fault.

Do not let him convince you are the trouble maker. If he is trying to trap you in the web of his words, get alert now. Inner voice is the best guide for anyone. You need to ignore what the other person is saying and make a contact with your conscience. Giving up on the situation is not an option.

No matter how special he made you feel, no matter how many cherishable moments you spent together, an abusive relationship needs to end up in the very moment of realization. If you get a hint of it, discuss with people close to you. Talk about your relationship, the facts that disturbs you and about an existential solution.  Attain clarity in your mind.

It is better to wait for the worthy man than getting into a relationship with someone who does not value you.

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