The relationship between an empath and a narcissist is perhaps the most toxic relationship we can find around us.
The empath is the healer. They can easily understand the pain of others. The most sensitive people among us, empaths are always on the move to protect and help others.
It is their altruistic nature which draws them towards the selfish narcissist. The self-absorbent behavior of narcissist comes from years of trauma. Behind the apparent veil of an extremely selfish soul, lies a wounded heart and dark days.
It is for these reasons, the narcissist is always in need of constant validation from others. They need others to tell them that they are wonderful and amazing and who can do it better than the empath?
It is this narcissist’s constant need for testimonials of their worth and the empath’s love for healing others which draws the two towards each other. But the relationship soon turns extremely harmful and toxic.
The primary reason is the difference in the feelings and understandings of the empath and the narcissist.
The empath, being extremely generous considers others as themselves. They believe that their narcissist partner is good at heart. Blind in love, they will ignore the dark side of the narcissist.
The narcissist is least bothered about the harm they are inflicting upon others by draining them. They will take the empath for granted and try to take control of their lives. Nothing can satisfy them. Each day, they need a reason to feel worthy of.
So, when an empath is in a relationship with a narcissist, the relationship fails to become a two-way process. It’s only a give-and-take relationship. The empath keeps on giving and the narcissist keeps on receiving till there’s nothing to give.
In the beginning, the empath and the narcissist will enjoy each other’s company. The empath enjoys doing everything for the narcissist to make them feel good.
More the love the empath keeps on giving, more the control the narcissist gets over them.
The narcissist will keep on asking questions like, ‘you do love me, right?’ which will provoke the empath to go to extremes to prove that. All the conversations will only be about the narcissist. The narcissist will manipulate the empath’s thoughts to their own needs.
Then, the narcissist will try to make the empath feel guilty of themselves. In order to get a complete control, the narcissist will fill the empath with self-doubt.
The empath will suffer from guilt. Whatever happens to them or the narcissist, they will consider themselves to be responsible for anything that’s negative.
Now that the empath has lost confidence, they will depend on their narcissist partner. This is the time when the empath will need their partner with them.
But the narcissist partner will not be available for the empath; they are only concerned about themselves. In fact, this feeling of empath will make them happier. They enjoy seeing their wounded partner in pain.
The empath becomes more depressed. They will start focusing on their needs too. This gives rise to problems in the relationship where both the parties feel that the other one is being too selfish and that they are incapable of meeting their emotional needs. The empath will become a narcissist too.
This will ultimately lead to a break-up. While the narcissist will go and find another victim, the empath will take time to recover. Since anyone who has been deeply wounded psychologically holds a chance of becoming a narcissist, it will be a tough time for the empath to come out of the break-up.
To avoid these damages, the empath should learn to bring a balance in their lives. They should know where to draw the line. Loving and protecting is good but the empath should know how they are doing it and if at all their actions are logical.
If they feel they need to go out of their ways to please the narcissist, the empath should come out of the relationship before it’s too late.
They should not allow the toxicity of the relationship affect them. The empath is strong and sensitive. They just need to take the right decisions without getting moved out of sympathy and love.