A breakup is the absolute worst thing you can experience. Been there. Done that. Heck , we’ve all been there. And it hurts like hell. Despite how long you’ve been together or how difficult the breakup was, it always hurts. Whether you breakup with your girlfriend or your boyfriend, it breaks your heart. It breaks your spirit. It breaks your self-esteem. And to some extent, it even breaks your ego. Regardless of who initiated the breakup or how it ended, it is hard for both of you. After all, it marks the end of a relationship that was so beautiful when it started. A relationship you invested so much in.
“To fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful.” – Bess Myerson
Breakups are devastating. It leaves you confused and vulnerable. You wonder if it was the right thing to do. You wonder if you can ever get back together again. You feel a rush of mixed thoughts and emotions that leave you feeling drained mentally, emotionally and physically. And hence, you tend to make a series of mistakes right after the breakup that can make this even worse for you and your significant other. This is not the best time for you to trust your instincts or your judgments as all your thoughts are directed towards fixing the broken relationship. However, what you should be focusing on is healing yourself. This is why it is crucial for you to know exactly what you need to do right after ending a relationship.
A breakup is an opportunity to focus on yourself
“Breakups can be sad, but sometimes tears are the price we pay for a freedom we need.” – Steve Maraboli
Immediately after you breakup with your girlfriend or boyfriend you feel a numbing pain that feels emotionally paralyzing. Saying goodbye to the person you were so deeply in love with is never easy. It can break your heart. The pain you feel is real for you. So we try to get back what we have lost. We crave for that familiar feeling of being with them. Having them around, talking with them, laughing with them and loving them once again. We feel this intense desire to get back with our lover and get our lives back to normal. But the fact remains that the relationship is over and it’s over for a reason. The more we refuse to accept this fact, the more desperate we get to get them back. The more desperate we get, the worse we feel. This is why you need to start by accepting the end of the relationship. Once you accept that the relationship is final, you need to shift your focus from your partner to YOU!
Yes, you’re scared that your partner will start dating someone else soon. But that’s not in your control. You don’t own them. You never did. Do not think about what your ex will do next. Focus only on what you will do next. Reconnect with yourself. You are not this depressed and desperate person that you’ve become now. You are a wonderful, amazing and talented person. The person your ex fell in love with. A person who is perfectly capable of experiencing life alone and being happy by themselves. That’s exactly who you were before you met your ex lover, right? So take this opportunity to rediscover that person. The key word here is self love. But more on that later.
As you’ve broken out of the restrictive mould of the relationship, it’s time for you to heal yourself and give yourself the gift of YOU.
What to do immediately after a breakup
“No one goes straight to happiness after a breakup.” – Estelle
Once you breakup with your girlfriend or boyfriend, confusion and despair are the first things that will take hold of you. And this is why you need to know exactly what you have to do immediately after your breakup.
Here are 5 things to get you started on the road to recovery and self-healing:
1. Go No Contact
I cannot stress how important this is. The very first thing you need to do immediately the moment after you break is go no contact.
What’s no contact?
No Contact rule is the #1 rule for a breakup where you do not communicate with your ex. You don’t call, text, DM or message them in any way for a certain period of time.