Splitting up with your partner can leave you with a sense of loss, especially when you are too much involved in that relationship and have put in sincere efforts. And a breakup surrounds you with uncertainty and a feeling of complete emptiness. You’ll feel like you’ll never be the same, but guess what, this heaviness will lift and you’ll be able to get through this.
There is nothing worse than the empty space that is left after a breakup. For weeks, months, or years, you have had someone in your life, someone who shared the good times and the bad, someone who you went to the movies with, went out to dinner with, took home for holidays, etc.
That person, and the things that you did together, are now gone, leaving a wide-open space that needs to be filled. Leaving it empty can be incredibly uncomfortable and cause a tremendous amount of pain.
So, what can you do to fill the empty space left after a breakup? Let me help…
1. Spend time with people who love you.
There’s nothing better to fill the empty space left after a breakup than spending time with people who love you.
For many of us, when we are in a relationship, we fill all of our empty space with our person. But, remember, there was a time when you didn’t have this person in your life.
Who was your favorite person to hang out with before your ex? Who made you laugh? Who was your partner in crime? Who always made you feel loved?
Pick up the phone and call that person right now! Make a plan with them to do something that you used to do that made you happy.
The lesson here is that there are many people in your life who you love and who can fill that space for you, maybe even better than your ex could!
2. Get a change in scenery.
I know for one of my clients, the first thing she does at the end of a relationship is to make a plan to get away from her everyday life.
Usually, it involves a short drive to visit a friend or a family member but sometimes she goes bigger. Once she even planned a trip to London. She had always wanted to go there and was given an opportunity to run a marathon.
Her relationship had just ended so she decided to go for it! And what happened? She kicked ass in the marathon and she met a lovely British man who helped her manage her broken heart.
So, if you need to fill that empty space left after your breakup, I would encourage you to change the scenery.
Where would you go for a change? Even if it’s just going to a friend’s house for the night, or going to visit your parents or jumping on a train and going to see an old friend or booking a flight to the Caribbean, whatever you can do to get out of the space that you occupied with your ex, ASAP.
Doing something different, even if for a brief moment, will help you fill the empty space that is feeling so painful right now.
3. Rearrange things.
One of my personal favorites, of all the things that I recommend for people to do while they’re getting through a breakup, is to rearrange things. One of the reasons that there is so much empty space in your life is because your space is the same as it always has been.
Do you walk into your home and see the empty space your ex used to fill? Do you come home at the end of the day, as usual, and feel their absence? Do you go out for your regular Wednesday night Thai food and does it only make you feel lonely because you used to do it together?
Well then, it’s time to shake things up.
When a client of mine went through her divorce, she decided that she was going to totally rearrange her space. She was in a lot of pain at the end of her marriage and she wanted to do something different.
So, she swapped her bedroom and her living room. She moved her bedroom into the space with the fireplace and decorated it with all the things that she loved the most. She purchased new furniture for her living room and created a space for herself to spend time knitting and watching TV.
Whenever she went to bed at the end of the night, she didn’t do so with the ghost of her ex-husband next to her. It was almost like she had moved to a whole new house and that empty space did not feel so empty.
So, try changing up your space. It might give you a whole new lease on life.