Skip to content

Why It’s So Hard To Move On From Some Breakups: 10 Reasons

Hard To Move On From Breakups

It can be hard to move on from a breakup, especially if you were deeply in love with them. However, moving on from a breakup is necessary for you to be happy again, and most importantly, feel like yourself again. But the question is why is it hard to move on from a breakup, and how to move on from a breakup?

Key Points:

  • There is no exact timeframe for healing from a breakup, which can sometimes be the toughest part of the experience.
  • Someone may have difficulty moving on if a part of them is holding onto hope that they will get back together with their ex.
  • When grieving the loss of a relationship, we often assume that avoiding painful emotions will bring us relief when the opposite is true.
  • If you’ve gone through a breakup and you’re trying to move on but can’t, it’s likely starting to impact your daily life. You may feel like constant reminders of your ex surround you, and moving on can feel impossible.

    There is no exact timeframe for healing from a breakup, which can sometimes be the toughest part. The passage of time does help, but it is not the panacea it’s often made out to be. For some people, time helps, and others find themselves unable to move on months or even years after a breakup.

    If this is the case for you, consider whether any of the following reasons are prolonging the healing process for you.

    Related: Delete His Number And Move On

    10 Reasons It’s So Hard To Move On From A Breakup

    1. You have hope that you can reconcile.

    You may have difficulty moving on if a part of you is holding onto hope you will get back together with your ex.

    2. You didn’t get the closure you were seeking.

    It can be particularly difficult to move on when a relationship ends abruptly. Often when people don’t know the reason why the relationship ended or didn’t have a chance to have an actual conversation about it with their ex, they may ruminate frequently about what went wrong, which can prevent them from letting go.

    Contrary to popular belief, you don’t have to rely on another person for closure. You can write your ex a goodbye letter and rip it up or burn it, or you can try the empty chair technique where you pretend they are sitting in a chair across from you and say all the things you didn’t get a chance to.

    move on from a breakup
    How to move on from a breakup

    3. You have a skewed perception of your ex.

    When someone has difficulty moving on from a relationship, it is not uncommon to fantasize about the good times they had while dismissing the red flags and issues that indicated incompatibility.

    Try writing down a list of reasons why the two of you are no longer together and often review the list.

    4. Your ex represented an important first for you.

    Perhaps your ex was the first person you fell in love with or your first sexual partner. Breakups are difficult regardless, but it can be particularly difficult to move on when the person represents an important first for you.

    Related: How To Heal When Your Ex Has Moved On But You Haven’t

    5. You haven’t allowed yourself to grieve.

    When grieving the loss of a relationship, we often assume that avoiding painful emotions will bring us relief when the opposite is true–doing so will often prolong the healing process.

    When you’re ready, try to process your grief in whatever way feels most comfortable, whether that’s through talking to trusted friends, a therapist, or journaling.

    Pages: 1 2

    Roxy Zarrabi, Psy.D

    Roxy Zarrabi, Psy.D., is a Clinical Psychologist who specializes in helping women struggling with low self-esteem, anxiety, or dating/relationship challenges to feel confident about themselves and the future of their relationships. She empowers clients to tap into their inner wisdom and utilize their strengths to combat their inner critic, boost their mood, and enhance their relationships. Her goal is to help people learn to create the meaningful lives they desire. She is the author of Mindful Dating, a Psychology Today blog about the psychology of attraction and relationship patterns. More information about her therapy services can be found at http://www.drroxyzarrabi.com. You can also stay updated on her latest freebies, updates, and blog posts by joining her email list here.View Author posts