How To Heal When Your Ex Has Moved On But You Haven’t

Heal Your Ex Moved On You Havent

Even if one part of you has moved on, there may be another part of you still holding on, at least in memories. Breakups are complicated, but the most difficult part is to accept things when your ex moves on before you. But, when your ex has moved on already, perhaps it’s time you do the same.

Are you wondering how to heal when your ex has moved on but you haven’t? Are you living every day in pain as you watch them get on with their life, maybe even date someone else? Are you feeling overwhelmed by emotion and the empty space that has been left after the breakup?

Do you feel like a loser and totally unloveable and do you feel hopeless and sure that you will never love or be loved again? You are not alone. Getting past a breakup is hard, especially after being broken up with, but it’s not impossible.

I know because my ex walked out on me for another woman, leaving me a shell of myself. But I can tell you that I got through it and so will you!

When Your Ex Has Moved On Before You
How To Heal When Your Ex Has Moved On Before You

Here are some things that you can do to help you heal when your ex has moved on but you haven’t.

1. Go cold turkey.

There is nothing more tempting than, when you are missing your ex, especially when they have already moved on, to stalk him or her.

These days there are so many ways to keep tabs on ex-social media that have made it all so easy. Unfortunately, keeping tabs on your ex makes it really hard to let go and move on.

I know that it doesn’t seem like that big of a deal, to take a quick peek at your ex’s feed, but you know, as well as I do, that there is a chance you could see something on there that you just don’t want to see.

Perhaps them out there, having fun without you, doing something that you used to do together, or perhaps doing it with someone else. And seeing any or all of those things could send you into a tailspin.

I know that with my ex, who I was married to for 20 years, seeing him and her spend time with my kids, go to family events that I used to go to, leaving the cat with me so that he could travel with his new girlfriend, all filled me with such sadness and rage. And yet I couldn’t stay away. I would ask my kids about them and stalk them on social media. I did this for years.

It was only after I finally committed to not stalking him at all that I was able to begin to let go. Thinking to myself that he had moved to another planet was very helpful.

So, eliminate all ties to your ex on social media. Block him on your phone. Don’t ask your mutual friends about what he is doing. Tell yourself that he has moved to Mars and that you will never see him again. You will be glad you did.

2. Write things down.

One of the first things I tell all of my clients when they have broken up with someone they loved is to take stock of the reasons that their relationship wasn’t working. Make a list – a list of all of the things that didn’t work in the relationship, all the things that you struggled with, all of the things that you tried to fix but failed to.

I was devastated when my ex left but, in reality, there were a lot of things about him that were red flags to me, red flags that I should have recognized at the beginning of our relationship that I had refused to acknowledge. If I was honest with myself, I was better off without him.

When we are still in a relationship with someone, we are regularly exposed to those things that remind us why we need to walk away. When we break up, those things tend to recede into our memory and they get replaced by the good things, the good times, all the things that we loved about that person.

And, with the good things at the front of our minds, we are vulnerable to not being able to move on, even if they already did.

So, make a list. Make a list of everything that you can think of that might have led to the breakup. Keep that list close and refer to it when you are missing them. And keep the list close in case they come back, begging for forgiveness.

Also, use that list to remind yourself that the person they moved on to is going to have to deal with those things. It’s not like your ex is going to be miraculously changed in this new relationship. They will ultimately be stuck with them. I am sure my ex’s new wife feels that way, 8 years later.

Read: Feeling Down in the Dumps? 7 Things to Do About It

3. Put yourself first.

Ok, so you are single again and you suddenly find yourself with lots of free time. And you might also find yourself craving a lot of ice cream.

Now is not the time to sit around, watch Netflix, and eat ice cream. While those things might be fun at the moment, in the long run, they will only make you feel worse.

The best thing that you can do for yourself right now is to exercise and take care of yourself. When you are going through a hard time, the number one thing that can make you feel better is the endorphins that are created through exercise.

Those chemicals will actually make you feel very different from the sad and lonely person you might feel like right now. Furthermore, if you get enough sleep and eat well, your body will feel strong and it will help with your healing.

And, best of all, taking care of yourself will make you look hot, way hotter than you might look if you only indulged in Netflix and ice cream. And looking good is an excellent way to win your breakup. Imagine the look on their face if you run into them!

So, again, this is the time to take care of yourself. Don’t let yourself fall apart. Pulling yourself back together down the road will be so much more difficult if you do.

4. Dream big.

Another thing to do with all of that free time is to start doing something that you have always wanted to do. Don’t sit around feeling sorry for your empty space – do something with it.

A client of mine broke up with a man she loved desperately but who couldn’t commit to her. She was devastated. I asked her to name a few things that she had always wanted to do. One of the things that she came up with was writing.

In this day and age, it is quite possible to write and get what you write out to the masses without going through the process of publishing a book or getting a magazine to publish your article. You can simply write a blog and post it to a variety of platforms available online.

My client started writing about her broken heart, what happened, her insights about what she could have done differently, the way she felt with him gone from her life. It was hard work for her, emotionally, but soon she started to get a following.

Other women who were going through the same things appreciated her written words and started commenting on her articles. As a result, she built a small community of women who supported each other through the rough times.

What is it that you have always wanted to do? Travel? Learn to play the piano? Get back to the pottery you used to do regularly? Pick one thing and start doing it.  You have the time. Life is short. Don’t waste it!

Read: How Accepting Things You Cannot Change Makes You Finally Free To Be Yourself

5. Reconnect with old friends…and make new ones.

How To Heal When Your Ex Has Moved On Before You

For many of us, when we are in relationships, we tend to disconnect from people who might previously have been a big part of our lives. None of us do it intentionally, or with malice, but it does happen. And those friends are still out there.

Make an effort to reach out to those friends, the friends who knew you ‘before.’ They will be happy to have you back and happy to support you get through this time.

Also, now is a great time to make new friends. I have a client who is using Bumble BFF, an app for women to connect with other women, to find some new friends, ones who are single and want to get out and do things as she does. She has connected with some amazing women in just a few weeks.

People who love you are a great way to get you through a tough time. They fill that empty space left by your ex. A great way to heal after your ex has moved on but you haven’t is to fill that space with people who will bring you back to life. Because, again, life is short. Live it fully.

I know that you believe you will never no longer be hurt after your ex moved on but you haven’t. I can promise you that you can move on and be happy again.

Having a plan is always the best course of action, I believe, much better than TV and junk food and hours spent dreading the future.

So, now that you have read this article, get up off the couch. Get a notebook and make a list of all of the things that drove you crazy about your ex. Keep it close. Block your ex on your phone and on every social media platform you are connected to.

Get out there and exercise. Do some things that you have always wanted to do. Reconnect with old friends. Fill your calendar with things that will make you happy and disconnect from the person you have to move on from.

I know it doesn’t seem possible but life does not end with a breakup. Rather, it begins again. It is up to you to take advantage of this new beginning and make the most of your life.

You can do it! It will be worth it! I promise…

Written By: Mitzi Bockmann
Originally Appeared On: Let Your Dreams Begin

Heal Your Ex Moved On You Havent pin

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *



Up Next

3 Ways That Grudge Dumping Destroys Relationships

Ways That Grudge Dumping Destroys Relationships

Dealing with frustration in a relationship is sometimes a very normal thing to experience. But some people let their frustration get the better of themselves, and end up grudge dumping their partner. This article is going to talk about experiencing frustration in relationships, and how grudge dumping destroys relationships.

KEY POINTS

Frustration is a natural part of any intimate relationship; grudge dumping isn’t.

Pent-up frustration can lead to temper tantrums, explosive arguments, and words designed to produce maximum hurt.

Healthy ways to process frustration in a relationship includ



Up Next

Feeling Alone In The Season of Togetherness? 5 Tips To Cope With Loneliness On Holidays

Feeling Loneliness On Holidays? Tips To Brighten Your Days

Winter celebrations like Christmas, Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa are all about having fun with friends and family. But sometimes, even with all the happiness around, you might get the feeling of loneliness on holidays.

If you’re dealing with bouts of loneliness, it’s important to know that you’re not the only one, and there are ways to deal with it. Dealing with long-lasting loneliness might need some special help. But there are also simple things you can do when you’re feeling lonely during the holidays.

This guide is here to help you understand and handle holiday loneliness. We’ll give you easy tips to feel better and enjoy the festive season more. Let’s beat those holiday blues together with simple steps and support. Happy holidays!



Up Next

Can You Be Friends With Your Ex? Exploring The Complexities of Post-Breakup Relationships

Can You Be Friends With Your Ex? Expert Tips To Consider

Breaking up with someone you once loved and cared deeply for is never easy. It often leaves us feeling confused, hurt, and uncertain about the future. In the aftermath of a breakup, one question that frequently arises is, “Can you be friends with your ex?” 

It’s a topic that sparks curiosity, debate, and even skepticism. Let’s explore the complexities of maintaining a friendship with an ex-partner, examining both the potential benefits and challenges that come with this unique dynamic.

Can You Be Friends with Your Ex?

The short answer is yes! It’s possible to be friends with your



Up Next

4 Zodiac Signs Who Fall Out Of Love In October 2023

Zodiac Signs Who Fall Out Of Love And Breakup In October

October is often associated with positivity and good fortune, it can also be a month of endings and heartbreak. Here are 4 zodiac signs who fall out of love this month!

But remember, sometimes you have to go through the dark to appreciate the light that’s on the horizon.

This October, zodiac signs that fall out of love easily will have to face the end of their relationships, and interestingly, they may have sensed it coming. Astrologically speaking, October is marked by significant planetary movements that affect our love lives, including the influence of Lilith, known for its disruptive impact.



Up Next

Unpacking Parentification Trauma: The Burden of Growing Up Too Soon

What Is Parentification Trauma? Seven Types, Effects and Healing

The excitement of childhood is beautiful, when your biggest worry was whether your favorite cartoon was on TV. Some kids don’t have a childhood as carefree. Parentification trauma becomes a real issue when a child is thrust into the shoes of a grown-up.

The child takes on responsibilities beyond their years. It’s like playing a role in a movie you didn’t audition for. This is the reality for those who’ve experienced the issue – a lesser-known yet impactful challenge that shapes lives in unexpected ways.

What is Parentification Trauma?

It might be your question, though–what is parentification trauma? The trauma occurs when a child is placed in a role that reverses their expected position within the family dynamic.



Up Next

Celebrity Breakup Lessons: Six Things To Learn From Celebrity Breakups

Six Celebrity Breakup Lessons You Must Know

Celebrity marriages, no matter how passionate and glamorous, face their own challenges, as they too must navigate the realities of day-to-day life together. Celebrity breakups are very common nowadays and hence here are some celebrity breakup lessons you can learn.

The intense scrutiny of Hollywood and constant paparazzi presence can exact a significant toll. Additionally, the dynamics can shift over time, especially for female movie stars, given the industry’s emphasis on youth.

Similarly, high net-worth couples may encounter similar issues, with the pressure to maintain a certain image. In such cases, there is a tendency for the concept of a “trophy wife” to come into play, where appearances play a significant role in the relationship.

For example, According to People Magazine, a source close t



Up Next

How To End A Casual Relationship Because You Want More

How To End A Casual Relationship Because You Want More Tips

Are you caught in a casual relationship but yearning for something more serious? Ending it can be tough, but it’s important to be honest and respectful. Let us explore how to end a casual relationship because you want more.

How to end a casual relationship because you want more

Casual relationships can be fun and exciting, but sometimes they just don’t cut it. Maybe you’ve been seeing someone casually for a while, and you’ve started to develop feelings for them. Or maybe you’ve realized that you’re just