How Accepting Things You Cannot Change Makes You Finally Free To Be Yourself

Life will always be full of ups and downs, and at times, it will be painful and unfair to you. But once you learn to accept the things that you cannot change, you will not only be happier, you will also be able to live a more emotionally content and fulfilled life.

โ€œGrant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.โ€ Reinhold Niebuhr

Think of a current problem upsetting you right now. It may be related to a relationship, your finances, career, health, or otherwise. Try to get a sense of how it is affecting you while distancing yourself from the mental chatter. The idea of acceptance is difficult to grasp for many because people believe it implies resignation or apathy.

In fact, acceptance means letting go of worry, fear, anger, and negative emotions and choosing peace instead. Often, what we experience isnโ€™t the real cause of our suffering, as much as our thoughts about it. And since we cannot control our thoughts, we try desperately to make sense of what is taking place.

Can you identify with this regarding your experience? Because we are close to the experience, the pain feels real, and regrettably, we get caught up in negative thoughts and emotions. The good news is, there are several therapies such as ACT and CBT that focus on accepting our thoughts and learning to diffuse them.

The premise underlying any unpleasant experiences is learning to accept our thoughts, which neutralizes our pain and suffering. This is because our thoughts are saboteurs that convince us things are more distressing than they are (known as catastrophizing). It is by better understanding the thinking process, we realize that thoughts come and go from our mind and thereโ€™s no use giving them more energy.

Acceptance allows you the freedom to be yourself because when weโ€™re consumed by pain and suffering, we are not our true selves. Have you experienced this before of not inhabiting your body but controlled by your thoughts and emotions? When we accept things as they are, we develop greater psychological flexibility and what happens is aligned for our greater good.

Related: How Radical Acceptance Can Help You Get Through Tough Times

Now, let me be clear, I am not saying we should accept any form of harassment, abuse, bullying, hatred, criminal acts of violence, etc. I am saying, to ease our pain and suffering, we must accept the situation as it is, even though we may not like what is happening. Acceptance opens the door to our healing, which should be our priority over feeling good in the interim. Can you see where Iโ€™m coming from?

Our long-term wellbeing should take priority over feeling good in the meantime. Healing means developing a new lens through which to view our circumstances, instead of being caught up in negativity.

When we heal, we align with our authentic nature instead of being governed by fleeting thoughts and emotions. Healing is a journey into oneself to discover the true essence of who we are. It is not meant to be a pleasant experience and sometimes can be more painful than the initial wounds.

But we must take that journey if we want to live authentically, otherwise, we will continually run into problems. Sometimes, it is difficult because we may not be ready for what lies ahead.

Hereโ€™s the good and bad news: No one has their affairs in order. Iโ€™m yet to meet a single person free of emotional wounds and whose thoughts are peaceful and harmonious. Each of us is afflicted by some form of mental and emotional suffering, and weโ€™re all trying to find our way in the world. Some of us are doing a better job than others, but it doesnโ€™t mean we cannot find our way.

Is this beginning to make sense, that acceptance leads to peace and harmony and the freedom to be yourself? If you sense resistance to what Iโ€™m saying, put the advice into practice. Do the healing work and test the strength of my statements. Non-acceptance is resistance, and as you know, what we resist persists. Even unfortunate experiences can teach us valuable lessons about ourselves.

I went through a life-threatening illness two decades ago and lost my father to type II diabetes not long after. Had I resisted those experiences; I may not be here to write these words on your screen. But I trusted life. I trusted the experiences were fundamental to my soulโ€™s evolution. Through my pain and suffering, I gained the personal growth that I now use in my writing, coaching, and speaking.

I mention this to illustrate how tragedy and loss can be turned into enriching experiences for our greater growth.

Returning to the question I asked you in the first paragraph. Try to answer the following questions in your diary or journal to get clear on your problems:

What are you resisting through your current experience?

What is behind your resistance? What are you choosing not to see?

What are you believing about this? Is it serving you?

Who would you be without the story?

What does the vulnerable place within you want you to know? What does it need you to understand?

Related: How Acceptance Is Different Than Giving Up

Take your time and connect with your wise self as you answer them, since there may be hidden gems contained within them. Go deeper into the core of your being to discover why these experiences are affecting you.

It is once we accept all that is, that we find true freedom to be ourselves once more.

Do you want to lead a remarkable life? Are you committed to taking action despite your fears and doubts? Have you had enough of not achieving the success you seek? If so, download your FREE copy of my e-book NAVIGATE LIFE right now, and start your amazing journey of greatness today!


Written By Tony Fahkry
Originally Appeared In Thought Catalog

Published On:

Last updated on:

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— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

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5 Unconscious Fears That Are Stopping You From Moving Forward

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Ever felt stuck, like you’re circling the same spot in life no matter how much you try to move forward? You’re not lazy. You’re not broken. But something invisible seems to be standing in the way. These are the unconscious fears that hide under your habits, slip into your self-talk, and shape your decisions without you even realizing it.

And no matter how many to-do lists you check off or mindset books you read, it doesnโ€™t budge. So what are these fears that hold us back?

Let us learn more about these mental blocks or five fears that are stopping you from moving forward.

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We all know that starting the day early gives us a head-start and helps us stay on top of things. But many of us struggle to get up on time and hate their morning alarm with a passion. So, how to become a morning person when it s*cks to be one?

Before focusing on how to wake up early, letโ€™s take a look at the perks of being a morning person. If you manage to get up with the sun, you can:

Get a jump-start on your busy day full with errands and chores

Ditch the anxiety that comes with getting late for work or other appointments

Have enough time to go through your tasks for the day and plan accordingly

Feel relaxed and enjoy the morning while you commut

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Spiritual modesty isnโ€™t about putting yourself downโ€”itโ€™s about seeing the bigger picture. The importance of humility goes way beyond being โ€œniceโ€ or polite. So what is humility, and what can it actually do for us? From better relationships to sharper thinking, its benefits might just surprise you.

At first glance, the injunction to be humble does not sound very attractive. It seems to be in conflict with our current valorization of self-esteem and self-worth, and to contradict the ubiquitous personal development advice that we should celebrate our achievements and take pride in ourselves.

But humility does not mean meekness, and neither does it equate to weakness. In fact, this ancient virtue has nothing to do with adopting a self-effacing or submissive doormat mentality and is not to be mistaken simply for low self-esteem.

<

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Most people assume that being an eternal optimist means you see the world with rose-colored glasses. But you don’t always wakes up with a smile, and itโ€™s not all always blind hope.

Hereโ€™s the part no one really talks about: being an eternal optimist is exhausting.

But it also has some good parts like it helps you bounce back, believe in second chances, and find meaning even in mess.

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Turning a stranger to friend doesnโ€™t have to be overwhelming. Even introverts can build meaningful connections with a few simple strategies. Here’s how to meet new friends.

You don’t have to be an extravert to connect with strangers.

Key points

Even if you are an introvert, research suggests some painless ways to meet new friends.

People like others who are like them, so look for important values you share with others.

It helps to make yourself useful.

Not all locations are equal when it comes to meeting other people like you.

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Guilt can feel like hope, it offers the illusion that change is still possible.

Powerlessness isnโ€™t failure; itโ€™s a boundary that protects our energy.

Letting go of guilt allows rest, which prepares us for when action truly matters.

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How Accepting Things You Cannot Change Makes You Finally Free To Be Yourself

Written By:

Life will always be full of ups and downs, and at times, it will be painful and unfair to you. But once you learn to accept the things that you cannot change, you will not only be happier, you will also be able to live a more emotionally content and fulfilled life.

โ€œGrant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.โ€ Reinhold Niebuhr

Think of a current problem upsetting you right now. It may be related to a relationship, your finances, career, health, or otherwise. Try to get a sense of how it is affecting you while distancing yourself from the mental chatter. The idea of acceptance is difficult to grasp for many because people believe it implies resignation or apathy.

In fact, acceptance means letting go of worry, fear, anger, and negative emotions and choosing peace instead. Often, what we experience isnโ€™t the real cause of our suffering, as much as our thoughts about it. And since we cannot control our thoughts, we try desperately to make sense of what is taking place.

Can you identify with this regarding your experience? Because we are close to the experience, the pain feels real, and regrettably, we get caught up in negative thoughts and emotions. The good news is, there are several therapies such as ACT and CBT that focus on accepting our thoughts and learning to diffuse them.

The premise underlying any unpleasant experiences is learning to accept our thoughts, which neutralizes our pain and suffering. This is because our thoughts are saboteurs that convince us things are more distressing than they are (known as catastrophizing). It is by better understanding the thinking process, we realize that thoughts come and go from our mind and thereโ€™s no use giving them more energy.

Acceptance allows you the freedom to be yourself because when weโ€™re consumed by pain and suffering, we are not our true selves. Have you experienced this before of not inhabiting your body but controlled by your thoughts and emotions? When we accept things as they are, we develop greater psychological flexibility and what happens is aligned for our greater good.

Related: How Radical Acceptance Can Help You Get Through Tough Times

Now, let me be clear, I am not saying we should accept any form of harassment, abuse, bullying, hatred, criminal acts of violence, etc. I am saying, to ease our pain and suffering, we must accept the situation as it is, even though we may not like what is happening. Acceptance opens the door to our healing, which should be our priority over feeling good in the interim. Can you see where Iโ€™m coming from?

Our long-term wellbeing should take priority over feeling good in the meantime. Healing means developing a new lens through which to view our circumstances, instead of being caught up in negativity.

When we heal, we align with our authentic nature instead of being governed by fleeting thoughts and emotions. Healing is a journey into oneself to discover the true essence of who we are. It is not meant to be a pleasant experience and sometimes can be more painful than the initial wounds.

But we must take that journey if we want to live authentically, otherwise, we will continually run into problems. Sometimes, it is difficult because we may not be ready for what lies ahead.

Hereโ€™s the good and bad news: No one has their affairs in order. Iโ€™m yet to meet a single person free of emotional wounds and whose thoughts are peaceful and harmonious. Each of us is afflicted by some form of mental and emotional suffering, and weโ€™re all trying to find our way in the world. Some of us are doing a better job than others, but it doesnโ€™t mean we cannot find our way.

Is this beginning to make sense, that acceptance leads to peace and harmony and the freedom to be yourself? If you sense resistance to what Iโ€™m saying, put the advice into practice. Do the healing work and test the strength of my statements. Non-acceptance is resistance, and as you know, what we resist persists. Even unfortunate experiences can teach us valuable lessons about ourselves.

I went through a life-threatening illness two decades ago and lost my father to type II diabetes not long after. Had I resisted those experiences; I may not be here to write these words on your screen. But I trusted life. I trusted the experiences were fundamental to my soulโ€™s evolution. Through my pain and suffering, I gained the personal growth that I now use in my writing, coaching, and speaking.

I mention this to illustrate how tragedy and loss can be turned into enriching experiences for our greater growth.

Returning to the question I asked you in the first paragraph. Try to answer the following questions in your diary or journal to get clear on your problems:

What are you resisting through your current experience?

What is behind your resistance? What are you choosing not to see?

What are you believing about this? Is it serving you?

Who would you be without the story?

What does the vulnerable place within you want you to know? What does it need you to understand?

Related: How Acceptance Is Different Than Giving Up

Take your time and connect with your wise self as you answer them, since there may be hidden gems contained within them. Go deeper into the core of your being to discover why these experiences are affecting you.

It is once we accept all that is, that we find true freedom to be ourselves once more.

Do you want to lead a remarkable life? Are you committed to taking action despite your fears and doubts? Have you had enough of not achieving the success you seek? If so, download your FREE copy of my e-book NAVIGATE LIFE right now, and start your amazing journey of greatness today!


Written By Tony Fahkry
Originally Appeared In Thought Catalog

Published On:

Last updated on:

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

5 Unconscious Fears That Are Stopping You From Moving Forward

5 Unconscious Fears That Hold You Back From Success

Ever felt stuck, like you’re circling the same spot in life no matter how much you try to move forward? You’re not lazy. You’re not broken. But something invisible seems to be standing in the way. These are the unconscious fears that hide under your habits, slip into your self-talk, and shape your decisions without you even realizing it.

And no matter how many to-do lists you check off or mindset books you read, it doesnโ€™t budge. So what are these fears that hold us back?

Let us learn more about these mental blocks or five fears that are stopping you from moving forward.

Up Next

How To Become A Morning Person And Be More Happy In Life (Even If It S*cks In The Beginning)

How To Become A Morning Person In 10 Easy Ways

We all know that starting the day early gives us a head-start and helps us stay on top of things. But many of us struggle to get up on time and hate their morning alarm with a passion. So, how to become a morning person when it s*cks to be one?

Before focusing on how to wake up early, letโ€™s take a look at the perks of being a morning person. If you manage to get up with the sun, you can:

Get a jump-start on your busy day full with errands and chores

Ditch the anxiety that comes with getting late for work or other appointments

Have enough time to go through your tasks for the day and plan accordingly

Feel relaxed and enjoy the morning while you commut

Up Next

Spiritual Modesty: Why Humility Is More Powerful Than You Think

Spiritual Modesty: Why Humility Is More Powerful Than You Think

Spiritual modesty isnโ€™t about putting yourself downโ€”itโ€™s about seeing the bigger picture. The importance of humility goes way beyond being โ€œniceโ€ or polite. So what is humility, and what can it actually do for us? From better relationships to sharper thinking, its benefits might just surprise you.

At first glance, the injunction to be humble does not sound very attractive. It seems to be in conflict with our current valorization of self-esteem and self-worth, and to contradict the ubiquitous personal development advice that we should celebrate our achievements and take pride in ourselves.

But humility does not mean meekness, and neither does it equate to weakness. In fact, this ancient virtue has nothing to do with adopting a self-effacing or submissive doormat mentality and is not to be mistaken simply for low self-esteem.

<

Up Next

8 Hard Realities Of Being An Eternal Optimist (That No One Talks About)

Being An Eternal Optimist: 8 Surprising Struggles

Most people assume that being an eternal optimist means you see the world with rose-colored glasses. But you don’t always wakes up with a smile, and itโ€™s not all always blind hope.

Hereโ€™s the part no one really talks about: being an eternal optimist is exhausting.

But it also has some good parts like it helps you bounce back, believe in second chances, and find meaning even in mess.

Up Next

Moving From Stranger To Friend: 3 Tips

Moving From Stranger To Friend: 3 Interesting Tips

Turning a stranger to friend doesnโ€™t have to be overwhelming. Even introverts can build meaningful connections with a few simple strategies. Here’s how to meet new friends.

You don’t have to be an extravert to connect with strangers.

Key points

Even if you are an introvert, research suggests some painless ways to meet new friends.

People like others who are like them, so look for important values you share with others.

It helps to make yourself useful.

Not all locations are equal when it comes to meeting other people like you.

Up Next

What Guilt Is Really Trying To Tell You

What Is Guilt Really? 4 Ways To Let Go Of It

What is guilt, really? Is it a moral compass, a learned response, or something deeper rooted in identity and accountability? Letโ€™s explore with David Prucha.

How guilt can protect us from a feeling we like even less.

Key points

Guilt can feel like hope, it offers the illusion that change is still possible.

Powerlessness isnโ€™t failure; itโ€™s a boundary that protects our energy.

Letting go of guilt allows rest, which prepares us for when action truly matters.

Up Next

5 Things To Do At Night To Wake Up Feeling Happier!

5 Things To Do At Night To Wake Up Happy And Fresh!

Thereโ€™s nothing quite like waking up and feeling good, rested, clear-headed, and evenโ€ฆhappy. But for many of us, mornings feel more like a slow crawl out of a fog. If youโ€™re waking up groggy, or in a bad mood, the solution might not lie in your morning coffee or alarm clock. Instead, it starts with the things to do at night!

Your night time habits play a huge role in how well you sleep, how rested you feel, and how emotionally balanced you are the next day. In fact, studies have shown that simple changes to your sleep routine can boost your mood, improve focus, and even reduce stress levels when you wake up.