Just Delete His Number

A memory is a good place to visit but certainly not to stay.

Past is something that stays behind and that is where it should be. Delete the old messages lying in your inbox, the messages that carries a picture of what you were and you both could be, the messages hanging on the ropes of hope. Let not yourself be strangled in those threads trying to seek meaning out of the emojis and live a life in those words which lay there lifeless.

Now delete the texts which made you ride on a unicorn across the rainbow and also the texts where the world shattered at your feet, where he made clear he does not seek anything serious with you. The texts where the mask fell off and the Cloud 9 which you rode someday rained to drench you in misery. Don’t keep any of these flames around that can burn you and hurt you every time you get close.

Now navigate to his name for one last time, almost making a call. Click on it and write your heart out, tell him how hurt you are and tell him you could still be friends though you know it’s not true, tell him you’re and will be okay though you’re shattered into pieces right now, tell him how you already miss his presence and the moment where you shared the dreams of a ‘together forever’. Now with wet eyes hover your numb finger over send button, instead hit the backspace and delete his number.

Burn all the bridges that may connect you again, delete him everywhere, your Facebook, your Instagram, let no strings attached.

Now close your eyes and let this sink in that he is no longer part of your life and you’re no longer his. Let it sink in that he will not be there to listen to you for hours and hold you and comfort you, you won’t be there on Christmas and he won’t be there on New Year’s Eve. Let that sink in that you will never know if he made through that tough job interview he had. Let it sink in that your world has changed.

And its okay, you’re okay.

Now open your eyes and embrace the light, walk out from the darkness of your room, away from your phone and feel the mixture of freedom and grief pumping through your heart, the very feeling that marks the end for the new beginning. Feel the sweet relief accompanied by the heaviness collapse on you. The steps you take are not usual today, you realize something is changed, you’re moving on. When you deleted his number you took the first step to delete him from your heart.

Time will do the healing, scars will remain for some time but that is okay. Embrace the new beginning, turn the page.