Narcissists At Work
This doesn’t just apply to relationships. It could be someone you interview for a job at your work. They’re brilliant in interviews because of how quickly they can read people. They tell you exactly what you want to hear.
Narcissist bosses are a nightmare to work with. You’ll spot one by all those around them.
A harmonious workplace is one in which a boss fosters a community and you all lift each other and the company up as a whole.
A narcissist boss will do the opposite and be at the center of a toxic workplace. They’ll play favorites and then rotate to different favorites, who are the best thing since sliced bread, whilst the others in their eyes are losers. They’ll pit one person against the other. For example, they’ll tell you that Henry thinks this about you or Mary thinks you’re that. So, you start distrusting your colleagues, unsure of what they might say to the boss.
You all live in fear and keep your head down. You don’t want to get noticed because the other thing your boss may do is a public tearing down of you. This is where they ridicule you or make an example of you in front of all your colleagues. As I said working for a narcissistic boss and in a toxic workplace is a nightmare.
They’re also rubbish at strategy as they live moment to moment. Whatever their latest grand idea is, that will be the plan and you’ll all have to scramble around trying to make it work before they pivot to their latest of-the-moment idea. If they themselves have a boss above them they manage up brilliantly.
They’re charming and give off the impression that all the people working under them are useless and if not for them saving the day it would be a disaster. The best thing to do if you’re unhappy in this toxic work environment is to leave the company.
However, there is one caveat to that.
Narcissist Smear Campaign
“The narcissist devours people, consumes their output, and casts the empty, writhing shells aside.” – Sam Vaknin
You need to be careful because narcissists and psychopathic type people can be very vindictive and vengeful. They can turn on you and smear your reputation. They may even take a legal stance against you in an effort to win at all costs, which is their ultimate aim.
Be careful as you disentangle yourself not to get them offside. Plan your exit. Be the perfect employee. Keep your head down. Try to engage with them as little as possible and if you have to always stick to facts. Don’t have any emotion in anything you do or say. If you’re given instructions by them, always confirm it in writing.
If they ask you to do X and Y by this date, then email them to confirm that this is what they have asked you to do: X or Y by this date. Keep written records of everything in case you might need it later. If you’re going off to have job interviews do not get caught by them. Do not let them know you’re looking elsewhere and be the perfect, polite, respectful employee.
Flatter them even because they’re self-obsessed and fall easily for flattery. Keep your enemy close. When you leave if you can make it as though it’s their idea, you’re doing them a favor. You’re not inflicting a wound to their ego.
Narcissist Relationship Patterns
“Relationship with a narcissist in a nutshell: You will go from being the perfect love of their life to nothing you do is ever good enough. You will give your everything and they will take it all and give you less and less in return. You will end up depleted, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and probably financially, and then get blamed for it.” – Bree Bonchay
Let’s look at narcissistic manipulation with intimate partners and narcissist relationship patterns.
- The same thing applies when you first meet them.
- They’re charming.
- They love bomb you and sweep you off your feet.
- They mirror back to you.
- What they are doing is studying you, observing you.
- They’re masters of manipulation and we make it really easy for them with our social media.
- They see what type of friends we like, what makes us happy.
- They can quickly read how they should act around us and what mask they should wear for you.
Want to know more about narcissist manipulation? Check this video out below!