Boasting has many advantages for the narcissist; to start with, it acts as a defense mechanism against feeling inferior. In order to mask their underlying feelings of inferiority, not just to the world, but to their own self, the narcissist has to maintain their image of superiority, and boasting helps them do that. When you are in their favor, then you will have to be prepared to endure a pretty much one-sided relationship, where they are the constant topic of conversation, with their “I”, “me”, “my” and “mine”. If you do manage to talk about yourself, you will soon see them become bored and impatient with the conversation, and somehow the conversation switches back to them, and once again they are in the limelight.
St. Paul says: “Proud”
Psychology says: The narcissists inflated pride convinces them that they are superior to everybody else. In such a place of pridefulness, the narcissist is overly sensitive to any form of actual or perceived criticism that could threaten their self-image and cause them shame. They will react harshly and haughtily to anybody who dares to threaten their false self and magical thinking; therefore threats will not be tolerated for an instant.
As the narcissist is always right in their own mind, they will judge anybody in opposition to them immediately as being inferior to them, and therefore deserving of their rage and retribution for daring to attack or humiliation them.
Paul says: Blasphemers
Psychology says: Narcissists cannot handle being upstaged in any way; you must not be seen to be more powerful, more successful, more beautiful, more intelligent, in fact, “more” anything. To do so renders you to becoming the narcissist’s arch-enemy, an instant rival to be spoken of in an irreverent or impious manner.
Narcissists are masters at using character assassination as a subtle railing tactic to undermine anybody who poses as a threat to their fragile self. Preoccupied with living in their fantasy of power and brilliance, their fragile ego is easily offended, and can often find offense where none is intended.
Whether the threat is real or imagined, the aggressive, attacking and the abusive narcissist will retaliate by setting out to expose and destroy any person who poses as a threat, and he will do it in any way possible; defame the person with lies and gossip without conscience, then happily by proxy, where they use others to become unwitting character assassins for them. Many narcissists operate through a “God Complex” that is so arrogant that they consider themselves as living Gods, and more than that, they are a god that does not submit to any mere mortal.
St. Paul says: Disobedient to parents.
Psychology says: In the context of the Bible, the parent represents “authority”. The narcissist does not bow to any authority; they see life in terms of self-entitlement in the pursuit of serving their own needs. For that reason, their inner drive is not driven by community values, actually, they sneer at them. They do not respect an authority which endeavors to constrain them and make them accountable for their actions; on the contrary, they prefer to live by their own flexible laws and rules of engagement where they are the “authority”.
They dedicate their waking time to the constant pursuit of acquiring their own personal authority, and this can be achieved by any means available to them: through their immediate family, the workplace, friends, collogues, peers, etc. Indeed any type of relationship that guarantees their flow of Narcissistic Supply will suffice, and in the procurement of their much-needed supply, the narcissist will gladly misuse their authority in order to reach their goal.
Furthermore, the narcissist sees themself as a guru and therefore is inclined to encourage a personality cult following from all their relationships. Then like all cult leaders, they demand total obedience and control over their dominion.
St. Paul says: Unthankful.
Psychology says: Because of their immense sense and expectation of superior entitlement, narcissists are ungrateful and unthankful for whatever they have been given in life. Because they regard themselves as “special”, they seriously believe that they are entitled to have whatever they are given. Generally, with such an exaggerated sense of self-importance, their actual levels of achievements are not in accord with their fantasy.
Because the narcissist is addicted to excessive amounts of admiration, they come to expect preferential treatment when dealing with others. In short, they live in a world of fantasy, a world in which they are brilliant, powerful, and successful in every way imaginable. They expect people to dance around then, so why should they be thankful for anything; actually, it is others who should be thankful to be in the service of such resplendence.
If one is silly enough to tell them that they are “ungrateful”, they will defend their right to their entitlement to the very end. They will be outraged by your criticism, and they will insist on a full repayment from you before they will ever consider forgiving you, and if they don’t get it, they will hold a grudge on principle, their need for revenge will be high, and you are likely to be alienated.