Does your wife love drama more than she loves you? Has narcissism taken over romance in your marriage? Is your wife…A NARCISSIST? Sometimes a toxic woman will reveal her true colors only after the wedding. If you are wondering whether your wife is a narcissist, then let’s find out the signs of a narcissistic wife.
But before we can delve into the traits of narcissistic wife, we need to have a clear understanding of what exactly we mean by a wife with narcissistic personality.
What is a narcissistic wife like?
To put it simply, a narcissistic wife is simply a married woman with the traits of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). Narcissism is a mental health condition characterized by a constant need for admiration and attention, a grandiose sense of self-importance and a lack of empathy for others.
When you are married to a narcissistic wife, you may see them constantly seeking attention and praise from you and others, manipulating you for her own personal gain, belittling or disregarding your opinions and emotions, and exhibiting a sense of entitlement.
Even when you may not be aware of the signs of a narcissistic wife, living with her can be challenging, as the relationship is often one-sided and focused on meeting your wife’s needs and desires.
It can also be emotionally exhausting for you as you may feel unimportant and neglected in the relationship.
Related: Are You Married to a Narcissist? 12 Easy Ways To Know for Sure
Living with a narcissistic wife can be challenging and emotionally draining. If you suspect your spouse has NPD, seeking therapy or counseling can be helpful for both you and your spouse to navigate this complex dynamic.
Note: By using the term ‘narcissistic,’ we are referring to the traits of narcissism which an individual may possess. Narcissism lies on a spectrum and the severity of the traits may vary greatly from person to person. Narcissism can lead to a narcissistic personality disorder which must be treated by a licensed mental health professional.
Now that we have cleared that out, let’s look at the most glaring over and covert narcissist wife traits and signs.
Signs of a narcissistic wife
Living with a narcissistic wife can be nothing short of a nightmare. The incessant lies, manipulation, gaslighting, abuse, controlling, infidelity and the constant need for attention can seriously affect your marital satisfaction.
If you are wondering whether your wife is a narcissist, here are some of the most common narcissist wife traits and signs that you need to be aware of –
1. She is self-centered
Does your wife only focus on her own needs, wants and desires and completely avoids yours? She may be unable to see or care about how her behavior affects others, including her spouse and children.
She may prioritize her own needs above all else and become angry or resentful when she doesn’t get what she wants. This is one of the common traits of narcissistic wife.
2. She does not really care about others
A narcissistic wife may have difficulty understanding or empathizing with others’ feelings and experiences. As she lacks empathy, she may dismiss her spouse’s emotions or minimize their concerns. She may also lack compassion for others and not be able to put herself in their shoes. This lack of empathy is one of the red flags when trying to recognize covert narcissist wife traits.
3. She is very critical
One of the most common signs of a narcissistic wife is a tendency to criticize her spouse frequently and harshly. This can manifest in a variety of ways, from nitpicking small details to outright belittling and insulting her partner.
Narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by a need for control and superiority, and criticizing a spouse can be a way for a narcissistic wife to assert her dominance over the relationship.
Criticism can also be used to undermine a spouse’s confidence and self-esteem, making them more reliant on the narcissistic wife for validation and support.
Related: 50 Ways to Tell If Your Partner Is A Narcissist
4. She is desperate for attention and admiration
This is one of the main traits of narcissistic wife. A narcissistic wife craves attention and admiration from others, including her spouse. She may go to great lengths to gain attention, such as by dressing provocatively or exaggerating her accomplishments. She may also become jealous of others who receive attention and try to outdo them.
5. She uses manipulative tactics to get what she wants
A narcissistic wife may use manipulative strategies to meet her needs and get what she desires from her spouse. This can include guilt-tripping, gaslighting, and playing mind games. She may also use emotional blackmail to control her spouse and get them to do what she wants. Manipulation is the biggest red flag when looking for narcissist wife traits.
6. She is highly competitive
A narcissistic wife can be very competitive in her behavior towards her spouse and others. Narcissistic people have a strong need for superiority and admiration, and competition can be a way for a narcissistic wife to achieve those goals.
She may feel jealous and try to one-up you in every situation, even if it is not necessary. She may also diminish your accomplishments, boast about her own accomplishments, downplay your contributions to your shared life and constantly make comparisons.
Related: Gaslighting in Relationships: 7 Questions To Tell If You’re Being Manipulated
7. She blames others for her problems
A narcissistic wife may have difficulty accepting responsibility for her actions or admitting when she is wrong. Instead, she may blame others, including her spouse, for her problems or mistakes. She may also project her faults onto others and accuse them of the things she is guilty of. If you have experienced this, then your wife has covert narcissist wife traits.
8. She has a need for control
A narcissistic wife may try to control every aspect of her spouse’s life, including their thoughts, feelings, and actions. This can include isolating them from friends and family, monitoring their communication, and making decisions for them without their input.
She may also become jealous of their interests and try to discourage their husbands from pursuing them.
9. She believes she is superior to others
Does your wife have a grandiose sense of self-importance? A narcissistic wife may have an inflated sense of self-importance and believe she is better than others. She may act entitled and demand special treatment from her spouse and others.
She may also exaggerate her achievements, status and talents to make herself look better than others. This is one of the most fundamental signs your wife is a narcissistic woman.
10. She has difficulty accepting criticism
A narcissistic wife may have difficulty accepting criticism or admitting when she is wrong. Instead, she may become defensive, blame others, or lash out in anger. She may also refuse to listen to her spouse’s opinions or concerns and dismiss them as unimportant.
Related: The Female Facade: Female Narcissists May Be Statistically Uncommon, But Highly Dangerous
11. She lacks respect for boundaries
Is your wife constantly intruding on your personal space? Then this is one of the warning signs your wife is a narcissistic woman. A narcissistic wife may have difficulty respecting boundaries and may intrude on her spouse’s personal space and privacy. She may also violate their emotional boundaries by not respecting their feelings and disregarding their needs.
12. She loves drama
Does your wife eat, sleep and breathe DRAMA? A narcissistic wife may engage in high-conflict behavior and create drama and chaos in her relationship. She may pick fights over small things, escalate conflicts, and use verbal or physical aggression to get her way.
13. She is abusive
Not just narcissistic men, but narcissistic women can also be abusive, aggressive, and violent in intimate relationships. As they lack empathy, they can be abusive toward their spouse.
This can include verbal, emotional, sexual, financial, and physical abuse. They may also make threats, neglect and isolate their spouse and compel their husbands to comply with their demands. This is one of the most obvious signs of a narcissistic wife.
14. She uses sex as a weapon
Sex is just another tool for a narcissistic wife to control her spouse and make them do whatever she wants. She might use sex to control her partner by withholding sex as a form of punishment or manipulation, or using sex to gain favors or to gain power over their partner.
She may also criticize their partner’s sexual performance or desires, in order to boost their own self-esteem. A narcissistic wife may even engage in affairs or cheat on their partner as a way to satisfy their own desires, without regard for their partner’s feelings. This is one of the common covert narcissist wife traits.
However, not all female narcissists will use sex as a means of control, and that individuals with narcissistic personality disorder can exhibit a range of different behaviors.
Related: Histrionic Narcissists: How They Use Sex And Lies As Weapons Of Manipulation
15. She is always angry
Does your wife experience intense and frequent bouts of anger? Narcissistic wives always seem dissatisfied and angry with their husbands or others for some reason.
They can have verbal or physical outbursts every time their demands are not met or when their sense of superiority is challenged, as they have a strong sense of entitlement.
This anger may also manifest as passive-aggressive in nature, such as giving the silent treatment or withholding affection.
16. She has unreasonable expectations
Narcissistic wives often have unrealistic expectations of their partners, but do not offer much in return.
They may expect their spouse to cater to their every need and desire, while not reciprocating or showing appreciation for their partner’s efforts. This can lead to feelings of resentment and frustration in the relationship.
Narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by a lack of empathy and a sense of entitlement, which can contribute to these unrealistic expectations. It is important for both partners in a relationship to feel valued and appreciated, and for expectations to be reasonable and mutually agreed upon.
So, these are crucial signs your wife is a narcissistic person. Could you relate to it? Need more signs to confirm? Scroll down!
15 More signs of a narcissistic wife
Apart from these, there are many more narcissist wife traits that you should know about, such as –
- She is easily offended and may react with hostility to even minor criticism or slights.
- She is obsessed with her appearance and may spend excessive time and money on grooming and fashion.
- She is self-absorbed and may talk excessively about herself without showing interest in others.
- She has a need to be constantly praised and validated.
- She is intolerant of other people’s opinions and may belittle or criticize them.
- She is always looking for new sources of attention and validation.
- She has a tendency to exaggerate her accomplishments and abilities.
- She lacks remorse or guilt for her actions.
- She may become depressed or anxious when she is not receiving enough attention or validation.
- She is preoccupied with fantasies of power, success, and attractiveness.
- She may become hostile or aggressive when she feels that her control or dominance is being threatened.
- She may use emotional blackmail to get what she wants from her spouse.
- She may be quick to judge others and may hold grudges for perceived slights.
- She may engage in high-risk behaviors to gain attention and validation.
- She may have a history of unstable or tumultuous relationships.
Related: 7 Signs of A Female Narcissist
Does your wife display most or all of these traits of narcissistic wife? If yes, then it is likely that she may possess some narcissistic traits, and encouraging her to seek some professional help can be beneficial for her, you, and your marriage.
Do narcissistic wives make bad marriages?
Studies have shown that exploitative and entitlement traits of narcissistic wives can significantly decrease the marital quality and marital satisfaction while increasing marital problems remarkably.
The studies indicate that “the effects of personality characteristics on marital functioning may take some time to manifest themselves, even if they were present from early in the marriage.”
In a recent study, researchers found that female narcissists are less likely to be overt narcissists (extroverted, bold and aggressive), and were more likely to have vulnerable narcissism, “marked by shyness, shame, hypersensitivity and low self-esteem.”
The study added that “women’s, but not men’s, narcissism significantly predicted marital trajectories over time.”
A narcissistic wife may also exhibit traits of exhibitionistic narcissistic disorder, which makes them seek attention and admiration by showing off, often through provocative behavior.
While exhibitionist narcissistic personality disorder is not a recognized mental health diagnosis, exhibitionistic narcissistic disorder is used to describe individuals who engage in attention-seeking behaviors by being excessively flirtatious and dressing provocatively.
This can also lead to cheating which may result in a divorce as narcissism is closely associated with marital infidelity.
Read in detail about exhibitionist narcissistic personality disorder here
According to a 2014 study narcissism is associated with sexual exploitation, grandiose sense of sexual skill, sexual entitlement and lack of sexual empathy. The study explains that “own sexual narcissism was positively associated with infidelity.”
Such behaviors can certainly affect marital quality & satisfaction and pave the way for relationship dissolution, separation, and even divorce.
Related: 6 Signs You Are in A Fake Relationship
How to deal with a narcissistic wife
So your wife is a narcissist. Now what? What can you do to make things better for yourself and make your marriage work?
While walking away may become necessary when your relationship turns abusive, whether emotionally or physically, there are some steps you can take to make things better.
Once you have identified the signs your wife is a narcissistic woman, here’s how you can deal with her in a healthy way –
1. Educate yourself
Learn as much as you can about narcissistic personality disorder, its symptoms, and how it affects relationships.
2. Set boundaries
It’s essential to set clear boundaries with your narcissistic wife. Communicate your needs, and be firm in enforcing boundaries. Remember that you have the right to say “no” and that your feelings and needs are just as important as your wife’s.
3. Don’t engage in arguments
Narcissists often thrive on conflict and attention. Try not to engage in arguments or get drawn into their drama. Instead, remain calm and disengage from the conversation. Just so you know, attention seeking is also one of the signs of exhibitionistic narcissistic disorder (which will be disussed in later sections).
4. Seek support
It’s important to have a support system in place when dealing with a narcissistic spouse. Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist.
Related: 13 Warning Signs You’re Sleeping With A Narcissist
5. Take care of yourself
Self-care is crucial when dealing with a narcissistic spouse. Make time for yourself, engage in activities that bring you joy, and prioritize your mental and physical health.
6. Consider couples therapy
If you and your wife are willing to work on your relationship, consider couples therapy. A therapist can help you both develop better communication skills, manage conflicts, and improve your relationship dynamics.
Remember that dealing with a narcissistic spouse is not easy, and it’s important to prioritize your own well-being. Don’t hesitate to seek help if you feel overwhelmed or unsure how to proceed.
Watch out for the red flags
Recognizing the signs of a narcissistic wife can be difficult, but living with a narcissistic wife can be even more challenging.
The red flags are always flapping high in a toxic relationship and all you need to do is take off your rose tinted glasses and look at the reality for what it is. It’s important to prioritize your well-being and take action to improve your relationship
Remember that you have the right to set boundaries, prioritize your own needs, and seek support. If you’re in a relationship with a narcissistic spouse, it’s important to seek help to address the underlying issues and improve your relationship dynamics.
You deserve to be in a healthy and fulfilling relationship.
Related: 20 Signs Your Relationship Is Hurting Your Mental Health
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