Many of us live under the illusion of a long-lasting relationship when what we are actually having is a mere affair. It is true that real relationships take a lot of effort to maintain but they are definitely better than fake ones.
There are numerous things that need to be considered when in a ‘real relationship’ because there are a lot of people who could fool us into believing that they are truly attached to us but what they actually seek might be just sex or to merely pass the time. We should learn to differentiate between people who actually mean it when they say that they love us and those who do not.
The following are the things that you need to keep a lookout for to find out if your partner is fooling you:
1) Excessive PDA.
Apparently it might seem that a couple who are very affectionate towards each other in public might share a very loving relationship in private. This might not always be the case.
Although PDA to a certain extent is good, an excessive display of affection can indicate a compensatory behavior. It is a way of maintaining an illusion of a loving relationship in front of others and themselves as well.
This is not a very rare occurrence. Many couples who do not share a very good bond often feel the need to cover it up with their show of affection.
Appearances can be quite misleading. So, the next time you see a happy couple holding hands, it might not necessarily mean that they are in love.
2)There are no special moments.
Being in a relationship with a person you truly love gives you a different feeling altogether. If you do not find anything extraordinary in your relationship, then you better not be in a relationship at all.
It does not mean that it needs to be something gala or grand but you should at least find pleasure in the small things like a memory of you together which makes you happy, or calling out nicknames to each other.
It is not love when your relationship seems to be ‘normal’ all the time. There must be something from which you could derive excitement.
3) There are no serious discussions.
Communication is a very fundamental part of a relationship. You and your partner should feel free to open up in front of each other and should be able to discuss matters of the heart.
Communication does not mean merely talking about the weather and other inconsequential things, you should be able to talk about serious and important issues as well. Couples who are truly in love with one another talk about future plans, having children, traveling places et cetera.
It should also be kept in mind that arguments and fights are also parts of an honest relationship. While discussing serious things, arguments are bound to happen and also remember that they will be resolved at the end of the day. But if you do not discuss anything with your partner that matters to you then you should probably re-evaluate your relationship.
4) It is a power game.
When your relationship becomes all about winning an argument then you might not be in a ‘true relationship’ after all.
In a situation where your only concern is to prove your point right, you place your ego over the feelings of your partner.
Although arguments are very much parts of every relationship, sometimes one of the partners has to step down to end the fiend even if the other is wrong.
Because being in a relationship is not always about being right, rather it is about giving space, compromise and care. Instead the necessary time should be given to the partner so that one realizes about one’s mistakes in the future.
5) You don’t know much about each other.
If you share an honest bond with your partner, you would be keen to know about partner’s family and friends. If you want a future together that you would be interested in knowing your partner’s close ones.