STOP Dating Him Immediately! 3 Warning Signs He’s Playing You

Warning Signs He's Playing You

He is attractive and charming. He knows exactly what you want to hear. And he knows how to make your heart pound. But he never actually walks the talk. Does he? If you are dating a player, you will always know. You just need to look for it.

I could’ve used the word chased here, like a lot of people do, but the thing is a highly evolved high vibrational man will never, ever chase a woman.

Chasing a woman is something that is done by somebody that doesn’t feel like they deserve a great woman.

Chasing is a lack of abundance, think about the terms we use with a chase.

Besides the bank Chase which is full abundance.

When we’re chasing after another team, it means the team is better than us.

We’re chasing them in the standings, it means they’re better than us.

We’re chasing our dreams, it means we don’t know how to live our dreams.

We’re chasing money.

It means we don’t have an abundant mindset with money.

So let’s talk about these three signs, these three things that will tell you that the man you’re with is not really pursuing you, he’s playing you.

1. Date one promises.

Men who play know exactly what to say.

A man who is playing a woman knows exactly what she wants to hear on date number one.

He’ll tell you how evolved he is.

If you’re a spiritual Yogi girl.

Or if you’re a girl that has done lots of self-work.

He’ll tell you about the spiritual path he’s been on.

He’ll tell you how he’s healed his inner child.

He’ll tell you to flat out that he’s looking for a high vibrational partner to share life with, to be present, to be open with.

Now a man that is open like that will also say that, so you have to kind of put an asterisk next to it.

Because a really high vibrational man will actually tell you all the work that he’s done, and he’ll tell you when he’s ready for a real partnership. So date number one will seem strangely the same, except a man that’s playing you will take you to this level on date number two.

 

2. A man who’s actually your high vibrational partner will actually allow you to show yourself because he wants to see the real you.

He doesn’t want to play you, chase you, or anything, he wants to pursue you, and allow you to show the beauty of you.

But a man that’s playing you?

The high vibrational talk stops, as a matter of fact, the conversation gets a little more sexual in nature.

He’s engaging you a little bit with dirty talk and texts. He might be doing it subliminally if he’s a really good player, or if he’s a mediocre player, he might right get down to the naughty and dirty right away.

You see, a player, once he feels that he has you on an emotional level because he knows a certain amount about women, he’ll try to play you sexually as quickly as possible. The real high vibrational man.

The person you want to spend time with and get to know could care less about sex because he already knows you’ve already made love to each other in his mind. So he doesn’t need to rush the sex, which leads us to number three.

5 Reasons Why You Always End Up Dating The Wrong Person

5 Reasons Why You Always End Up Dating The Wrong Person

We have all dated people we knew were not right for us from the very beginning. But when it turns into pattern and habit, then you might actually end up in a toxic relationship that may be too messed up to get out of.

Dating is often a fruitless search. Though they are filled with hopes and expectations at the beginning of each relationship, they are too often disappointing and even disillusioning in the long run.

Yet, many single people continue to put huge amounts of their time and energy into every possible option for a long-lasting partnership. Despite multiple setbacks, they keep reaching for that elusive needle in a romantic haystack. When they describe their adventures to me, I’m often amazed and so impressed at how they somehow find the resilience and optimism to keep trying. And yet they do.

The media responds by offering a smorgasbord of ready online adventures. From well-established dating sites to the plethora of ever-new ways to explore the dating market, today’s relationship seekers might easily spend many of their waking hours searching for the one person who someday will make it all worth it.

Because life has other demands, it’s becoming more necessary to predict which options are not likely to work out and to focus on those that may be more productive. Dating profiles try to help by offering carefully designed first-impression packages that help each hopeful subscriber present the most desirable picture possible. Whether they are prescribed “meet-ups” that try to take care of physical attraction drop-outs, “fix-ups” that minimize ghosting because mutual friends are often able to track someone who disappears, or chance encounters that pretty much work or don’t quite early in the connection, most relationship seekers try to use every possibility.

If so many of these honest and willing attempts to find successful romantic partnerships fail so often, what could be an underlying reason that would help ensure better odds?

In my four decades of working with singles and couples, I believe I understand what it is. My premise may not be easy to accept, but if you can courageously consider it, I truly believe that you will be much more successful in choosing the right partner in the future.

To get started, ask yourself how you would answer the following questions:

1) Have your past partners turned out to be who you thought they would?
2) Are you most often attracted to partners who are “out of reach?”
3) Are the qualities you look initially for in a partner those you need for the long haul?
4) Is it important to you that your partners impress others?
5) Is the partner you want available within your current dating options?
6) Are you being realistic in getting what you want based upon what you have to offer?
7) Are your choices more often based more on romantic myths rather than pragmatic possibilities?

 

If your answers to questions 1, 3, 5, and 6 are “no,” and those to 2, 4, and 7, are “yes,” you are much less likely to find success in the dating market if you continue searching the way you have in the past.

Here’s why. Humans are traders by nature. We are programmed to make deals with others. The best of those trades, of course, are those that work well for both. Sometimes they do, but often they do not.

The underlying problem is that many people believe they can make a better deal than they actually are able to. For example, they might think that what they have to offer is worth more over time than it may seem upfront, and they want the other deal-maker to trust in the investment. Or, they’ve been more sought out in a different dating market than in their current one, and haven’t accepted that reality. Maybe their well-intended friends have given them the impression that they are more marketable than they really are. Or, perhaps they’re searching in the wrong places, or it’s just the wrong time in their lives. What if they’ve just happened to move from a location where single people were more plentiful to one with sparser options? It’s even likely that some relationship seekers are simply worth more in one market than in another.

If, many single people aren’t successful because they keep searching or investing in relationships that are not likely to work out, wouldn’t that process be more likely to be successful if they were completely realistic in what they have to offer? If they know who are their likely available prospects, are authentically aware of what they need to keep loving and growing, and have done everything they can to improve their marketability, wouldn’t they have a better chance to find what they seek.

To help you understand how easy it is to be diverted from those more successful encounters, here are some common examples of typically off-the-track experiences that are not likely to develop into significant relationships.

5 Reasons Why You Always End Up Dating The Wrong Person

1. Thinking “Hot” is Better

Though it may be more applicable to the younger crowd, the external package is often a high priority for many relationship seekers. Taking good care of yourself is always a good idea, but basic attractiveness is a God-given attribute and some are just luckier than others.

Because many people put more effort into other valuable characteristics when they are not blessed with the top ten percent of physically desirable traits, they often become more attractive over time. But, if someone is only going to maintain interest if the initial package is hot, that growing appreciation may not have time to happen.

If relationship seekers realistically value their physical package as a “seven” on a one-to-ten but keep reaching for a partner who is a clear “ten,” they are going to have to come into that deal “one-down.” That means they have to constantly compensate with their other assets in order to keep that partner around, and may often find themselves contending with new rivals as others emerge who are “more attractive.”

How To Prevent A Toxic Relationship From Ruining Your Life

How To Prevent A Toxic Relationship From Ruining Your Life

Are you in a toxic relationship? Are you struggling big time and recognizing that this relationship is ruining your life?

Many of us are in toxic relationships, ones we can’t escape, ones that are keeping us from living our full lives, from living and loving and being our best self.

We only have one life to live and we need to make sure that we live it to the fullest, even if we are in a toxic relationship that is holding us back.

How?

5 Ways To Prevent A Toxic Relationship From Ruining Your Life

#1 – Love yourself.

Many of us who are in a toxic relationship believe that we are not worthy and are full of self-hatred.

Years of being berated by our partner told that we are worthless and stupid and total losers, has taken a huge toll on our self-esteem. Furthermore, we know that we have stayed in this relationship, even though we are being abused, and that erodes our self-confidence even more.

It is important that, if we are in a toxic relationship that is ruining our lives, we make an effort to love ourselves. That we set goals for ourselves and stick to them. That we take care of ourselves, getting exercise and eating right. That we practice self-care – whether it be a massage or a walk in the woods.

Most importantly, it is essential that we spend time with people who love us. Who reminds us about how wonderful we really are. Who supports us in every way and helps us navigate the world no matter what.

If you are stuck in a toxic relationship, make an effort to love yourself every day. You deserve it.

 

#2 – Don’t take all the blame.

I know that you have been told over and over that everything that is wrong in your relationship is all your fault. I know that you believe that if you were only more patient or gave them more sex or made them happier everything would be fine.

Let me tell you that this just isn’t true. There are two people in every relationship so, yes, you shoulder some of the blame but it’s definitely not all of you, no matter what you have been told.

Managing self-blame, recognizing that it is a false premise, will help you to love yourself and make you stronger in a relationship. It will allow you to take some power back so that you can not only survive but thrive as you live your life.

 

#3 – Get help.

Many of us who are struggling in toxic relationships are ashamed and, therefore, go it alone. Even if we are aware that we need help, we hesitate to reach out for it because of our shame and self-blame. We fear being judged and we don’t see what kind of help could make a difference.

Asking for help is the best way to survive a toxic relationship before it ruins your life. Even though women are strong, even the strongest of us need help when we are feeling desperate.

So, reach out to someone who can help and support you.  Your priest, your doctor, your psychiatrist, your life coach, your lawyer or your family. Get help understanding what your options are as far as this relationship – what you need to do to keep your life together in spite of the pain.

 

#4 – Leave.

You are probably scoffing at me right now. Yeah, right you are thinking. And I get that.

I know that it seems like you could never leave this relationship. That you still love this person. That you have put so much time into it that walking away seems stupid. That you don’t believe in giving up and want to keep trying. Whatever the reasons are, leaving seems untenable.

Leaving is ALWAYS an option. Your life is short, too short to waste in a relationship that is making you unhappy.

If physical fear is holding you back, there are groups out there that can help you escape from your toxic relationship. If fear about what the future holds is what is keeping you stuck, consider what would be better – the ways things are now or how things could be if you were free.

5 Signs It Isn’t Love, Even If They Say Otherwise

5 Signs It Isn’t Love, Even If They Say Otherwise

Early red flags in a relationship that your partner is not in love, even though they say ‘I love you’

Oh what’s love got to do, got to do with it
What’s love but a second hand emotion
What’s love got to do, got to do with it
Who needs a heart
When a heart can be broken

—Tina Turner, What’s Love Got to Do With It

Ah … love.

I could end the post right here and you would all know what I mean. No more words are needed to describe that slightly insane, crazy-good feeling.

The force behind Shakespeare’s sonnets and the inspiration for countless heartfelt and wrenchingly bad amateur poems. The impetus for infidelity, the catalyst for the Trojan War.

How we long to hear those three sweet words whispered in our ear, written on a perfumed note, texted with a makeshift symbol <3, or broadcast to the world with skywriting.

When we start a promising new relationship, our hearts tremble in anticipation, wondering if–or when—the love bomb will drop, and who will be the first to drop it.

Enough already. We either feel it or we don’t, right? Well, if you’re a self-aware person with standards for what you want in a partner and healthy respect for other people’s feelings, that’s an accurate statement.

But not everyone has it together when it comes to relationships, and a potential partner’s emotional disorganization can cause huge problems once the bomb bay doors have opened and “love” is in the air.

Here are five warning signs that what your partner feels for you isn’t love, even though he or she is saying, “I love you.”

They’re not the obvious ones we’re all familiar with: abuse (emotional or physical), disrespect, manipulation and control, intense neediness, and hero worship, among others.

These signs are more subtle and can easily be misinterpreted as real love, because they feed the part of our ego that craves to be adored and accepted, the part that still searches for the soul-nurturing love provided by an emotionally healthy parent (or not provided by an emotionally disordered one).

Unlike the red flags that feel wrong, these signals feel right, because they feel good and enable us to indulge our love of … love.

 

1. Too soon.

To know me is to love me … said the narcissist to anyone who can be forced to listen.

But the truth is the reverse. To love someone is to know the person, to have achieved a level of emotional intimacy and to accept the person underneath the hair and skin.

Love is both a feeling and a commitment, both emotion and action, both noun and verb. It is not something that develops instantly or even after spending a number of ecstatic hours with someone over a few weeks time.

Love at first sight is a potent combination of curiosity and lust, and the feeling we experience after meeting someone we both attracted to and click with is infatuation.

If your partner says I love you too soon, it’s a good bet he doesn’t know himself or his feelings, or she wants to be in love more than she wants you specifically. So watch out for early professions of undying affection.

 

2. Too much.

You would think you could never hear the words “I love you” too many times from your lover.

But a compulsive need to confirm love feelings is not sweet; it’s indicative of potentially dangerous emotional issues, and if you need to hear it every 20 minutes or 20 times a day, you’ve got issues of your own.

One reason partners keep saying “I love you” is insecurity. They repeat the words to hear them back from you and dispel any doubt.

Another is a lack of emotional integrity. Your partner may be faking it until he or she makes it, using the constant repetition to convince him or herself of feelings he or she doesn’t actually feel but is hoping will develop in time.

The third and most problematic reason your partner may bombard you with the love bomb is to guilt you into expressing reciprocal feelings you may not actually have. There’s no greater relationship killer than one person saying, “I love you,” and the other not saying it back.

To The Girl Who Tried A Little Too Hard For The Wrong Relationships

To The Girl Who Tried A Little Too Hard For The Wrong Relationships

I want to tell you it’s admirable how much you try for people you care about. I admire how much you invest in people and what you’re willing to give. I think it’s a really redeeming quality how you jump into things both feet first with all of your heart.

You see the best in everyone.

The people others look past. The ones who are jaded and complicated. The ones you think you can fix. But it’s the people you think you can change who are the ones that hurt you the most. It’s those people who are going to take everything you give until you have nothing left to and then they walk away with it and you’re the one that feels broken.

I want to say being the way you are you’re going to only see good relationships. But you’re going to see a lot more bad ones before you see good ones.

You’re going to see people who mess with your head and you’re going to analyze it thinking it’s something you are doing wrong. They are going to be the people who answer texts three days later. The ones who appear to care like it’s something they can switch on and off. It’s going to be the people who blow up your newsfeed then ignore you.

The ones who drop in and out of your life like they have a right to.

You’re going to see a lot of people who tell you what you want to hear because they have motives that are unkind. And they’re only thinking of one thing. You’re going to have a lot of physical relationships with people but what’s going to lack is the emotional connection that just isn’t there. And that’s not something you can force.

And you’re going to keep trying and you’re going to keep caring because that’s who you are. You don’t do casual or emotionless because that’s not who you are. Even the wrong people are going to get the best of you.

Then when it comes to committing a lot of them won’t. You’re going to analyze yourself and pick apart your flaws thinking you are to blame for someone’s inability to be what you need, while you try really hard to play the role of what someone wants.

There are going to be moments where you lose yourself pretending to be what they want you to be instead of being who you are.

I wish they didn’t make you feel like it’s a bad thing to care the way you do. But unfortunately, it’s a generation that doesn’t hold true to your same values.

I’m going to ask you to not change that. Even when you come across people who look at you and think you’re crazy for some of the standards and some of the things you believe in. They are going to try and make you feel wrong when in reality it’s them.

They are going to try and force you to settle. And there are going to be moments where you do settle for less than you deserve. There are going to be a few toxic relationships where people aren’t nice. And I know it’s going to hurt a lot.

You’re going to do backflips for some people trying to be enough. You’re going to fall in love with people who don’t deserve that affection and effort. And a lot of them won’t reciprocate all you have to give because it’s different. You’re different.

Everyone is used to being used and taken advantage of and watching someone give expecting something in return. You being genuine and kind and giving without needing anything in return is admirable. And I know it’s gonna hurt sometimes. And I know you’re going to cry yourself to sleep a lot. I know you’re going to pick yourself apart trying to be better.

But you have to realize you are better.

You are better than the guys who just use you for sex.

You are better than the guys who just use you emotionally.

You are better than the guys who lie to you and tell you what you want to hear making promises they’ll never keep.

6 Signs He Will Break Your Heart

6 Signs He Will Break Your Heart

There are some things in life that everyone loves to believe will never happen to them. For instance, everyone believes they are too smart to be in an abusive relationship or a toxic one. Everyone likes to believe that they are strong-willed and self-respecting enough to dump their partner when they see The Signs. 

No, you won’t.

First, you won’t see the signs by yourself.
Secondly, even if you see them, you will convince yourself that there are justified reasons
to them.
Thirdly, even if you reach the conclusion that there is something obviously wrong, you will find out that you are not willing to let go of the companionship that you have grown so used to and comfortable with — especially if you have been in it for too long.

Which is why, it is really great that you are here, because here is what: there is really nothing you can do about it. You just have to get past this and grow up stronger and smarter than you thought you were.

Meanwhile, if you haven’t reached there yet or don’t even believe this can be you.

Here are the signs to watch out for. If you hit even one of these, be prepared for a possible heartbreak in the future.

 

#1 He won’t introduce you for who you are i.e. his girlfriend.

No shocker, right? A man who is there for temporary fix knows it in his heart and hence, will act accordingly. He will casually call you his friend — and if confronted about it, might pass it off as a mistake or a light-hearted joke. A man who is serious about you won’t do this. He will know how precious you are and will not step back from claiming you as his significant other.

A man with cold-feet will also avoid meeting your parents at almost any cost. He will not want to go through the pressure of being someone he knows he is not going to be — i.e. the dreaded son-in-law.

Similarly, he will also keep you from meeting his parents because, again, why go through something unnecessary?

 

#2 He tells you.

Always listen to a man when he declares something. Always.

Believe him, that’s your only job. If a man tells you his setbacks as a person and a partner, listen to him. He is definitely not going to change his mind if he already told you that he is not looking for a serious relationship when you began. Believe him when you find yourself hopelessly fallen and he tells you he is not ready to take the leap.

 

#3 He’s in touch with ex-es or is in a relationship with someone else.

Really. Being civil is one thing, but being too friendly is something else. A man who isn’t serious about you will knowingly maintain wide door policy hoping for better options to come along. On the same vein, never trust a man who is already in a comfortable relationship that he refuses to end. He is another one who is never going to be serious about you — and chances are he must have told you so in the beginning. Good thing we have already established that one should always listen when he is disclosing/declaring something.

 

#4 He is never taking as much of an effort as you are.

You know it when you do. You are always the one making up plans. The one fixing everything between you. Although, don’t be fooled by the fantasy-plans — the ones where he vaguely promises you things or outings without really setting a sure date upon it. Those are specifically laid down to throw you off his trail if you have begun to grow suspicious of his seriousness for you.

Him never prioritizing you enough is never a good sign either. Especially when you are going around being the most flexible, wonderful girlfriend trying to make time and space for him in your schedule, plans or life.

My Fairytale Marriage Ended And Why It Was The Best Thing For Me

My Fairytale Marriage Ended And Why It Was The Best Thing For Me

One woman’s honest journey to divorce will break your heart and inspire you at the same time.

Everything is calm now, inside my head. All the mental yelling and screaming and rattling of the cage is done. All the panicked ‘get-me-outta-here’s have quieted down. There is nothing left but blanketing silence. This marriage is done.

 

We started dating two days after high school graduation.

We each had a handful of high school relationships before that. His were pretty innocent, mine were fairly traumatic. But still, it was high school, how serious could any of it have really been? Sexually, we both were each other’s first. We went off to college together, got married immediately after, and moved to California to work nonprofit jobs and save the world. We had a child, one that we both waited years to have and wanted whole-heartedly. Then, we imploded.

So many times over the years people said “awwwww” to our story. They found it so enchanting. To them, we were the quintessential All-American, fairytale romance; the scenario people push on their kids as the ideal marriage prototype. Boy meets girl. Boy and girl fall in love, get married, and only have sex with each other. They have a baby, are good citizens, and live “happily ever after” until they are rocking on the front porch together in old age. How precious.

 

Only it doesn’t actually work out that way.

At least, it didn’t for us. By marrying the person we’d been dating since we were 18 years old, neither of us ever had a true sense of ourselves as an adult individual outside of our connection to each another. There was never a fully developed him. There was never a fully developed me. As a result, we always resisted us.

The idea that someone can decide so young who and what is right for them and then be expected to stand by that decision for the next 60 odd years doesn’t seem romantic, it seems wrong. And I’m annoyed by anyone who hears the story of our coupling and finds it enchanting. To those people who say that they are shocked that we’re splitting up, really? Because when you reflect on the absurd odds stacked against us, I, for one, am totally astounded we ever made it this far.

I remember distinctly the first time a voice in my head gave me an inkling that my marriage would soon be over: the night our daughter was born. The nurse came into the hospital room to help me use the bathroom for the first time after my arduous delivery. As I staggered wearily back to the metal-framed bed, the sympathetic nurse said, “Oh, honey, you look so exhausted.” At which point he stirred from his nap on the in-room sofa bed and groaned, “I am!” The nurse and I exchanged an “Oye, men!” eye roll and she snapped back at him, “I was talking to the person who just squeezed a human being out of her body.” “Oh,” he replied and went back to sleep.

As I settled back into the bed, a cold sinking feeling slipped into the pit of my stomach. I pulled the crisp hospital sheets across my legs and heard the voice in my head say loud and clear, “You will be doing this on your own.”

 

He had an affair (I bet you saw that coming).

A month after our daughter’s first birthday, he left. Walked out. Said he just couldn’t “do this” anymore (“this” being our unhappy marriage) and that he loved me, but had to go. He needed space to think. I asked if he was having an affair. He swore that he wasn’t. He was lying. Our therapist is the one who finally broke the news to me. She was acting super twitchy at my individual appointment and kept asking me if we had talked. When I told her we hadn’t, she started talking in circles and implied he might be involved with someone else.

10 Biggest Signs He’s Just Not Into You

10 Biggest Signs He Is Just Not Into You

1. Always making an excuse for him not to go out with you or do something for you.

Once you wonder if you’re one of his priorities, you’re not. If he’s into you he will do everything to make you feel that he’s never too busy to see you. He will do conspicuous actions to impress you. And please never be fooled by the trite sentence I’ll make it up to you, babe.

 

2. Not paying attention to what you’re saying and can’t even remember a thing.

If you give him a quiz about everything you’ve told him, he’ll surely fail it. It’s because he never really listens to you. Either his eyes are glued to his phone, or are wandering in his own thoughts. Sometimes he can feign eagerness but behind the mask is someone who can’t wait for your story to finish.

 

3. Treating other girls the same way he treats you.

You should be that someone special if he really likes you. He should give you things he won’t give others, efforts he won’t exert for others, and feelings he won’t have for others. Now if you see him smiling the same way (or especially in a happier way) whenever he mingles with other girls, even if those are his friends, you know it already. You’re not the one for him.

 

4. Not bothering to see your family nor mentioning them.

Do you think your dad would like me? When will you invite me to dinner with your family? I’d love to cook for your parents. How are your siblings? He should’ve already mentioned these things because if he’s really into you he would also want to win the heart of your family. If he hasn’t ever said things about them, perhaps he just likes you out of the superficial. He likes you only for what he gets from you.

 

5. Giving you the urge to text or call him first.

You know it’s been 30 minutes after he arrived home from work (or anywhere he’d went to) and he still hasn’t texted you. You keep on waiting, staring at your phone until your hand reaches it to text him hey. If he puts you in despair like this then he doesn’t really care about you. Because if he does, he would be excited to talk with you, to ask about your day, or to just see you virtually even without words to express.


Related Video: 7 Signs You’re With The Wrong Partner


6. Replying too short.

Men, in general, are not really into superfluous responses. Don’t expect them to give verbose comments or too many emojis. But you should be sensitive enough to detect if they don’t have the enthusiasm to chat, text, or speak with you. If you ask them, “Have you had your lunch?” and they just replied yes without asking you back or without an extra phrase to show they’re also thinking about you then wake up, honey.

8 Ways To Tell If He’s With You Just Because He’s Lonely

8 Ways To Tell If He's With You Just Because He's Lonely

“Love is as love does.”- M. Scott Peck, Road Less Travelled

Have you ever caught yourself wondering if the guy you are with really loves you, it may be because despite of all the confessions of love he makes or doesn’t make, his love doesn’t reflect in his actions.

Sometimes when we fall in love, our judgment is clouded by the euphoria of certain chemical rush in our bodies and brains and we fail to see the obvious that is in front of us.

We all deserve to be with partners that love and respect us wholeheartedly but sometimes we stick around partners who are not that into us because we live in denial or we hope that they will change their ways sometime.

If you stick around in a relationship like that, you are robbing yourself out of the chance to be in a happy, loving and fulfilling relationship.

If this sounds familiar, read on to find out the signs that he is not that into you as you would like to believe:

1) You are the one who is always making the first move

Firstly, men are wired for the chase. If he is interested in you or likes you, he will make every possible effort to pursue you. If he is truly interested in you, he will find a way to talk to you, to reach out to you. It may take some time for him to gather the courage to make the first move, but he will get there eventually.

When you are in a relationship, it is an equal partnership between two people.

If you’re the only one who is chasing him like a celebrity, always making the first move, texting him, calling him, making plans to meet etc. Then clearly he is not that into you girl.

 

2) He doesn’t make any effort to know you better

If someone is interested in you, they would want to get to know you better. They would ask you questions about your hobbies, dreams, and ambitions. They would text you and call you and reach out to you to take the conversation forward.

If you feel the conversation is one sided and you are the only one who is doing the talking and he is not even interested to respond or doesn’t ask any questions.

Then, he is really not worth your time.

 

3) He treats you like an option

If you are always adjusting your schedule to meet him and work according to all his priorities and preferences all the time, then he is clearly treating you like an option.
And you should never settle to be an option in anybody’s life.

 

4) He acts like he doesn’t care

When he acts like he doesn’t care about you, then you should believe him. If he was genuinely interested in you, he would not act like he doesn’t care. He would make every possible effort to make sure that you know he loves you whether by saying it explicitly or by reflecting that care and affection in his actions.

If he really liked you, he wouldn’t keep you wondering.

10 Signs You’re Stuck In A Dead End Relationship, Even If You Love Your Partner

10 Signs You're Stuck In A Dead End Relationship, Even If You Love Your Partner

“Genuine love is precious, and those who are capable of genuine love know that their loving must be focused as productively as possible through self discipline.” –M.Scott Peck

I know that we don’t like to hear love and discipline in the same sentence.
But if you knew the power of genuine love and held it with reverence, you would not squander it and that’s exactly why we need self-discipline.

Discipline to choose partners who are worthy recipients of the genuine love, discipline to choose partners who have the potential to grow and evolve with all the nurturing you have to offer and also the discipline to move on from partners we outgrow.
It can be a painful realization to know that you have outgrown your partner or to see that you are stuck in a dead-end relationship.

But it is so important to not get stuck with a dead end relationship and move on and find someone who is a worthy recipient of all that you have to offer.
So, if you have a gut feeling or nagging instinct that you are stuck in a dead end relationship, read on to find the obvious signs.

Here is a list of ten obvious signs that you are in a dead end relationship

1. They don’t feature in your future plans

Everyone has goals and vision about how they want their future life to look like.
Someone could aspire to go backpacking in Europe and someone could aspire to open a yoga school or someone to start his own company. If you find that you can’t envision your partner alongside you in your vision of your future life, then, it’s a clear sign that you are stuck in a dead end relationship and you have no inkling to move forward with this person.

 

2. You’re acting more like a savior than a partner

A relationship is a partnership between two equals. Both of them have a fairly balanced give and take in terms of love, support and affection.
But if you feel like you are the only one who is providing support and affection to the other person and acting more like a savior than a partner, then you seriously need to rethink your relationship.
If you are constantly trying to fix or change your partner, then it’s a serious incompatibility red flag.
It clearly shows that you don’t like them as they are now.
You want them to be in a different job or a career, you want them to be more outgoing and adventurous, you want them to be more intellectual and deep and are constantly trying them to up level, then you don’t love them, you love the image or potential you have in your head of them.
While none of us is perfect and we should support our partner to blossom into their highest potential but if we don’t like them at all for who they are right now and are constantly trying to fix them, it’s a lost cause, you’re just not compatible and you should probably move on!

 

3. There’s no trust in the relationship

Trust is the single most important factor in a strong, fulfilling and long lasting relationship.

Some people can have trust issues because of what happened in their past or due to something that happened in their current relationship.
But till a person heals and resolves the issue he would just sabotage even a good and loving relationship.
If you feel like you don’t trust your partner or they don’t trust you even after trying to resolve the issues, then sweetheart you need to think long and hard “Do you want to be in a relationship that has no trust?”

 

4. You’ve been together for a while and your partner is reluctant to commit

A relationship has different stages. In the initial stages, both the partners are trying to figure out if there is any compatibility and if they would like to take this relationship to the next level.
The next stage could be anything depending on which stage of a relationship you guys are at.
It could be moving in together or planning to get married or having kids.
But if you have spent considerable time with your partner and they are undecided about what they want to do and where they want to take the relationship.
Avoiding commitment at all costs is a clear sign that the relationship is not going to last long.

10 Ways Your Instincts Are Telling You That You’re Stuck In A Bad Relationship

10 Ways Your Instincts Are Telling You That You’re Stuck In A Bad Relationship

95% or more of our mind is Unconscious, this vast part of our mind, which we have little awareness of, contains riches beyond imagination.

“The fact of the matter is that our unconscious is wiser than we are about everything.”
― M. Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth

Our subconscious or unconscious mind communicates with us in the form of instincts, intuition, dreams or gut feelings. It can send an important message to us in the form of sudden flashes of insight or certain fragment of thoughts that pop in our mind or certain sensations that we feel in our bodies.

But most of the time we do not pay any heed to this “small little voice” that guides us from within only to regret later.

It is very important that we learn to become aware of our instincts and gut feelings and take their help in any important decision-making process rather than just going with our logical reasoning.

One important area of life where our instincts can guide us effectively and easily is our intimate relationships.

It happens quite often that in the initial phases of our relationships we are under the spell of euphoria and we tend to overlook any red flags or warning signs that our instinct is trying to show us.

 

Here are 10 common ways our gut feeling or instinct speaks to us:

If you feel you can relate to any one or more signs here, and then take a long and hard look at your relationship, reassess its quality and take appropriate action.

 

1) You find it hard to trust your partner

Trust, communication, and respect are the foundations on which a strong relationship is built.
If you feel that you can’t get yourself to trust your partner, then know that it will be really hard for the relationship’s foundation to stay together.
We all falter sometimes and no one is perfect but if more often than not your partner lets you down and your instincts tell you that they are not being honest with you, it is time you paid heed to your gut feelings.

If you feel that your partner’s words and actions don’t match or they lack consistency or integrity, then you need to really reassess your relationship and move on, girl!

 

2) You feel drained after talking to them or spending time with them

It happens so many times that when we spend time with someone and come back home we feel so drained and exhausted even though they may have said and done all the right things. This is because our body has a way of picking up on negative energy and bad vibes.

If you feel drained or exhausted after spending time with your partner, it could be your body’s way of making you wary of bad vibes and telling you to proceed with caution.

Never Marry These 8 Type Of Guys, no matter how head over heals you are in love

Never Marry These 8 Type Of Guys, no matter how head over heals you are in love

“Choose your life’s mate carefully. From this one decision will come 90 percent of all your happiness or misery.” -H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

 

Marriage is a serious commitment that involves being on a life long journey with someone. You should marry the person who is your lover and best friend, confidante and cheerleader, who will stand by you through thick and thin, with whom you can grow and evolve together and share this incredible ride called life.

No matter how head over heels you are in love with someone, never marry these eight types of guys:

 

1. The guy who objectifies women and sees them as merely objects for pleasure

The guy who only sees women as objects for pleasure will only love you as a fancy car or watch and will stay will you as long as you satisfy his needs.
He will not be interested to know you as a person. You will not be fulfilled emotionally, intellectually or spiritually.
This guy is a complete no when it comes to something as crucial as marriage.

 

2. The guy who is self-centered and can’t think beyond himself

A relationship is a two-way street. It involves giving generously and accepting graciously. But a guy who is self-observed will just be concerned about what he can get in a relationship without putting in any effort or care to nurture the relationship.
The guy who is so self-centered that he can’t think beyond himself will just be concerned his own needs and wants all the time. He will be in the relationship to fulfill his own agendas without giving a hoot about what you want or need.
Being with such a narcissist is highly toxic.

 

3. The guy who is materialistic

If a guy is shallow and materialistic, he would never understand the intricacies of human emotions and life. He will just be interested in shallow talks and gifts and will just be concerned about keeping up the mask of his grandiose self-alive. He won’t be able to handle any authenticity or vulnerability.
If you do not want to swim in shallow waters and want to taste the entire experience that human life has to offer, stay away from him.

 

4. The guy who is a party animal

It is good to have fun and let your hair down occasionally, but if a guy parties all the time. He will not be ready to take up any responsibility and will lack the maturity to handle the changes that a married life brings

 

5. The guy who is a control freak

This guy would want to know all your whereabouts, would want to decide on what types of clothes you wear and what kind of friends you have to what kind of work you do.
He will basically think he is superior to you and would want to control how you function. If you get into a relationship with such a guy, you will lose your freedom and individuality and no relationship is worth losing that. Stay the hell away!!

 

6. The guy who is insecure

The guy who is insecure would stop you from meeting other guys and will keep a tab on all your activities.
He is basically suffering from an inferiority complex and thinks he is not good enough. He will project his insecurities on you by accusing you of infidelity and not spending enough time with him.
Let him deal with his insecurity issues on his own. Don’t try to be a savior or a counselor girl!

 

7. The guy who is commitment phobic

If the guy doesn’t want to commit at all, you can’t expect a secure future with him. These types of guys don’t want to tie themselves to anyone and want to live on their terms and conditions. They want to be vulnerable or emotionally intimate with anyone. If you are looking for a long-term, holistic and fulfilling relationship, stay away from them.

 

8. The guy who doesn’t know how to have a conversation with you

In a relationship, there would invariably be difference of opinion, and two mature individuals can find a way through by talking it out and having a healthy discussion.
But if you are with a guy who is immature to have difficult conversations in a healthy way, you will be screwed.
These kind of guys can’t hold a conversation if the situation gets difficult or tricky. They lack the maturity to solve the problem by constructive discussions. They would rather run away from the problem than confronting them.
If you end up marrying such a guy, you would time and again find yourself in stressful situations where you would be only one trying to solve a problem with no help or support from the other side.
It is better to stay away from them.

Read This If You Want Your Guy Back Even When He Treats You Badly

Read This If You Want Your Guy Back Even When He Treats You Badly

Has the guy you say you love behaved badly: cheated, yelled, belittled, put down, run off, or badmouthed you?

So many times, women write to me and ask how to get back a guy who has behaved badly. The guy has moved on to greener pastures and unsuspecting victims, yet they lament to me that they really love him and want to know how to get him back.

My question: WHY?

Who in their rational mind would want someone back who treats them like dirt? Here’s who:

  • Women with so little self-esteem and self-confidence, that they honestly believe they deserve to be treated so poorly.
  • Women who actually think that it is their fault that the guy behaves badly.
  • Women who believe that they will be alone forever if this mess of a man goes away.
  • Women who think they can nurture, nourish, or love a guy enough that he will change.
  • Women with amnesia. Their longing to get the guy back makes them forget the bad, and focus on the ‘being wanted.’
  • Women who mistake being used for being loved.
  • Women who have been sexually abused and think that being used is no big deal.
  • Women who are crying out for love, and maybe have never had it, so they don’t know what it looks like.
  • Women who are afraid to be alone.
  • Women who’s self-worth is tied to “having a man.”

 

OK, enough with the list. You’ve got the idea.

If you recognize yourself in the list, don’t despair. You just need help to see yourself as a woman who deserves to be loved, cherished, trusted, respected, and adored. And, you can!

So, when a woman writes and asks me how to get back a man who is not worth getting back, I tell her straight up. Give your head a shake, and let’s get you some relationship help right now. Stop running after a guy who treats you badly.

 

You can have a man who loves you, shows you that he loves you, and one that you love in return. It starts with actually loving and respecting yourself. Let’s work towards that.

 

CAVEAT: I’ve written this about guys who behave badly, and the women who say they love them. Stay tuned for a blog post on the opposite: when a women treats a guy badly and he wants her back.

If you are ready to be that women who knows she deserves love and respect, let’s work together right away.  You can make your own appointment for an in-person or Skype sessions HERE now.


© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

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Written by Rhoberta Shaler, PhD
Originally appeared on Forrelationship.com

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Read This If You Want Your Guy Back Even When He Treats You Badly

3 Telltale Signs He’s Not That Into You (& It’s Time To Cut Him Loose)

3 Telltale Signs He's Not That Into You (& It's Time To Cut Him Loose)

Are you living in a fantasy?

I’m on a mission to help women see the truth about their dating reality. So many women spill their guts to me about time they’ve wasted on the wrong guys.

They have a difficult time knowing when to cut a guy loose and move on or when to give a man the benefit of the doubt.

I’m going to make it easy for you by sharing three scenarios when, time and time again, I see women completely kid themselves about a man’s interest. It’ll help you identify if your patience is worth it, or if he’s not that into and you’re merely making excuses for his bad behavior.

This way, if you run into these situations in the future, you’ll remember this article and can avoid investing your hope (and time) on Mr. Wrong.

 

Here are 3 big signs that he’s not that into you and that it’s time to let him go:

1. He’s too busy to see you.

You connect with a guy through online dating and then meet him in person — the date goes really well. You could tell he had a good time, just like you did.

After that first date, he texts you and might call on occasion. Then he gets really busy at work so you haven’t seen him since. That’s OK, you tell yourself; the texting is a lot of fun.

He texts something sweet in the morning and at night, and sometimes during the day. You feel like you’re getting to know him as the weeks go by.

You tell yourself it’s obvious that he likes you. Why else would he spend all that time texting you, right?

This is where the fantasy begins. Based on the virtual conversations you have, or even on the phone, you start to interpret his contact as strong evidence that he’s into you.

You might find yourself “falling in love” and thinking about him throughout the day. You spend time daydreaming about what the future holds for the two of you.

Your wake-up call: If a man is genuinely interested in you, he’ll make time to see you.

I realize that’s hard to accept, but the truth is that there are men who enjoy just texting women, and they’re probably conversing with several along with you. It’s fun. It’s an ego boost. But most importantly, it’s a huge waste of your precious time.

This guy isn’t into you, he’s just stringing you along. I don’t know why, but I have no doubt this is the case.

And WHY he does this doesn’t really matter. The actions a man takes are what count most toward proving his interest. If he’s not happily and regularly making time to see you, he’s not the right man for you. Period. Understanding men is really that simple.

The right man for you wants to spend time with you. He wants to see you in the flesh and have ample opportunity to kiss those pretty lips of yours.

He would never hide from you or make excuses about how busy he is. When a man is serious about you, he’ll move heaven and earth to spend time with you.

 

 

2. He tells you he doesn’t want a relationship.

On the first date, the guy tells you point blank — he’s not looking for a relationship or anything serious. He moves on to chatting and fun conversation, looking into your eyes, and making you laugh.

And it feels good to laugh and hold his attention on you, so you somehow conveniently forget he ever told you that he doesn’t want what you want — a committed relationship.

Your wake-up call: You want to believe, “He doesn’t mean that about me.”

And the fantasy begins. You don’t take him at his word and this is one instance when you really should. He told you his dating agenda is casual, not serious.

No matter how much interest he shows, he doesn’t want the responsibility that comes with a lasting relationship. I’ve seen this happen with my clients over and over again. You’re wasting your time here. Let this fantasy go!

 

3. He only pays attention to you in crowds.

When you hang out with a group of friends, there’s one guy who always pays you a lot of attention when everyone is together. Yet, you never hear from him in between. Maybe he messages you on Facebook or likes one of your photos.

14 Warning Signs He Is Playing You For A Fool

14 Warning Signs He Is Playing You For A Fool

A guy who’s not relationship material always lets you know; you just have to know what to look for.

When I look back at all the relationships that didn’t work out (that I so wanted to at the time), I realize that in every case, there were early warning signs that each guy gave me that could have given me some idea of the heartbreak I was about to experience if I had only been aware of what to look for.

To spare you from being played for a fool by a man, here’s the inside scoop on what you can be on the lookout for so you can break up with him before he breaks your heart…

Here’s the ultimate list of warning signs that clearly tell you that he’s a guy to avoid if you’re looking for a real relationship.

 

1. He doesn’t call you when he says he’s going to.

Granted, I know that sometimes life can get it the way, and if he’s working late on that big project with the looming deadline it’s possible that time might get away from him once in a while. But if this happens more than once or twice, it’s a sure sign that you’re just not a priority for him right now.

If a guy is really interested in starting (or continuing) a real relationship with you, you will be on his mind, and he won’t forget to call.

 

2. He’s often late and doesn’t call to let you know.

I know there are lots of reasons people can run late that are beyond their control (traffic jam, car problems, being stuck at the office), but a quick call from his cell phone will put your mind at ease, and let you know that you have a few more minutes to try on that one other outfit you were still considering.

The point here is about being respectful of your time – we can forgive lateness, even chronic lateness (some people just aren’t good at judging how much time something will take), but not calling to let you know he’ll be a little late?

That’s inexcusable and a sure sign that he’s not too concerned about you.

 

3. He doesn’t show up at all (and doesn’t call) when you have plans to see him.

OK ladies, unless he was (verifiably) unconscious in a hospital somewhere, getting stood up is a “one strike and you’re out” offense. There is absolutely no good reason for this (except the one above), and if you stay with him after a maneuver like that, you’ll be in for a very bumpy emotional ride that’s almost guaranteed to end badly.

Cell phone reception is excellent these days (unless he’s a lumberjack working in the great North Woods), so this one is unforgivable.

 

4. He has rules about how often he can see you.

It’s one thing to have the boys’ “Wednesday Poker Night”, or something along those lines.

But if he’s only willing to get together say, every other weekend (with the exception being a child custody situation), then that’s a sure sign he’s keeping his options open and still scouring the market for something better (at least in his mind – he just doesn’t realize that you’re the best thing going!).

 

5. He knows way more about you than you know about him.

If you find yourself doing all the talking during your conversations, and when you ask him something about himself he doesn’t say much, it may be because he’s hiding something or doesn’t want to get too close to you.

Many guys just aren’t big talkers, but if he hasn’t told you the details of where he works, where he grew up, went to school, etc., and if he gives you vague answers when you ask him about these specifics, then that means he’s keeping you at a distance.

 

6. You know way more about him than he knows about you.

This one is the flip side to the last warning sign – if he’s so busy talking all about himself, and shows no interest in who you are, what you like to do, or what your idea of the future looks like, this should be a real red flag.

Soul Mate? Or The Most Hurtful Relationship Of Your Life?

Soul Mate Or The Most Hurtful Relationship Of Your Life

You gave yourself passionately and eternally to your soulmate—only to find out later that he was really the man-from-hell.

I’ve known plenty of women who have fallen instantly and hopelessly in love with their soulmates—myself included. We gave ourselves passionately and eternally to our soulmates—only to find out later that he is really the man-from-hell.

Women (and men) often believe that a “soulmate” means they have found their ultimate romantic partner. They meet a man with compatible emotional traits merged with harmonious, combustible pheromones and kaboom!—soulmates are born. The problem with this theory is: not all soulmates are emotionally healthy individuals.

You’ve met soulmate. You’ve never felt such an overwhelmingly emotional, intellectual and sexual affinity. He feels like your husband, your lover, your father and your best friend all rolled into one person. It’s as if you had known him in another life and fate has reunited you. He “completes” you, you say. The emotional bond is spiritual. The physical intimacy is rapturous. It feels too good to be true.

Your soulmate tells you that he has never met anyone like you before; that you are the most wonderful, beautiful woman that has ever been in his life and that he will love you until the day he dies. Six months later, maybe a year, an abusive, lying, raging alien emerges from the body of the sweetest, most loving man you’ve ever known. It seems like a bad dream. You discover that your soulmate is philandering with women online. His evening cocktails have turned into belligerent drinking episodes and he criticizes and ridicules you in front of others. Or maybe he’s stopped having sex with you and he withholds emotional intimacy. So abrupt is his transformation, it’s as if you went to bed one night and awoke the next morning with a total stranger.

How can this be? How can a man who pledges his consummate, undying devotion to you treat you so badly?

Listen! A soulmate does not mean he is capable of a long-term loving, supportive, honest relationship. He may be a generous provider and the greatest communicator that’s ever crossed your path. He may curl your toes in the bedroom. He may tell you that if he ever lost you he would never get over you—that’s why it’s so hard to comprehend how he can hyper-criticize you, cheat on you, blame and manipulate you, verbally abuse you, and even physically assault you.

 

Soulmates are magnetically drawn together because of similar emotional patterns. (That’s not always a good thing!)

Not all soulmates are stable individuals. A person’s dysfunctional upbringing and hurtful past experiences mold them into maladjusted adults. Corrupt soulmates subconsciously seek a partner whose flawed mentality jives with their warped behavior. It’s a unique emotional attraction. A misogynist is drawn to a woman who represents his hypercritical, controlling mother. A codependent woman will bond to a man who personifies her emotionally detached, abusive, alcoholic father. A narcissistic man will instinctively seek out naive, insecure woman who will tolerate his alcoholism, infidelity and verbal and physical abuse. Emotionally handicapped soulmates intuitively understand each other flaws and they are oddly comfortable with a partner’s unhealthy and destructive behavior. A woman, who witnessed her father verbally and physically abuse her mother, may innately know that her boyfriend’s or husband’s abuse is wrong, but his behavior is familiar and quasi-acceptable to her.

 

In other words, a levelheaded man is not going to be magnetically drawn to a woman who is clingy and desperate, drinks excessively and is overall mentally unstable.

The problem of loving a malfunctioning, abusive soulmate is: it’s extremely difficult (for some women impossible) to end a relationship or marriage with your kindred spirit. Soulmate relationships are known for their passion: an irrational and illogical emotion; hence, your blind love for him. He lies to you, he cheats on you or he verbally or physically batters you. You know he is slowly destroying you and you finally get the courage to leave him—but your soulmate’s tearful pleas and monetary bribes draw you back into his harmful relationship. You can’t seem to permanently walk away from the man who has held your heart in his hand—because you are soul-tied.

12 Ways Your Partner Acts Which Show They Don’t Love You Anymore

12 Ways Your Partner Acts Which Show They Don’t Love You Anymore

How Do You know When It's Over

Love is not the only thing which is required to sustain a relationship. It needs commitment and adjustment. No relationship is perfect. No matter how hard it sounds, it’s a true fact that not all relationships last forever.

It takes a lot to move on but if you can identify the signs of a dying relationship, you can prepare yourself for it from an early stage. Watch out for these 12 signs that say your partner doesn’t want to be with you anymore. If he/she acts in these ways, then it’s a warning your relationship is dying:

 

(1)  They no longer give you compliment for your look:

A relationship requires both emotional and physical attraction. In the beginning, they would tell you how beautiful or handsome you look but with time they really don’t seem to notice you at all. You had a haircut or wore a new shirt? They just don’t seem to have any attraction left for you.

 

(2)   They don’t seem to give efforts in making the relationship work:

It’s evident for them that the two of you will not be together anymore. They aren’t bothered about the fights and they have no enthusiasm left to resolve the conflicts. They have slowly started to accept the end is near.

 

(3)  They don’t seem to care for you anymore:

You have the feeling that they don’t seem to care any longer. You can get that vibe from that. Those sparks in their eyes are gone. The smile has faded away already. It’s becoming so evident that you’re getting a hint of it too.

 

(4)  They don’t thank you for your gestures:

They would look forward to dates. Now dates are boring and dull. You don’t get that warm hug when you bring them presents. You don’t get that infinite number of ‘thanks’ when you give them a surprise they love. Indifference is the only expression you get from them.

 

(5)  Communication is rare:

Communication is the base of every relationship. When communication starts dying, the relationship dies too. If the two of you communicate rarely, it means that the spark is no more. Your partner lacks interest in talking to you and if they can’t communicate, they can’t live with you either.

 

(6)  They don’t make any effort to make you feel special:

They don’t treat you with your favourite food or gift you things you love. They don’t make any effort to make you feel special. They don’t care whether you’re feeling happy or not. They have lost all the interest because they don’t feel happy with the relationship anymore.

 

(7)  They act regardless of the way you feel about their actions:

They don’t care if their actions are hurting you or not. They will do whatever they want and in the end if they hurt you, they aren’t bothered. They aren’t sorry for their actions because they have lost interest in you.

 

(8)  They don’t give you attention anymore:

They don’t care if you had a bad day at work. They don’t care how you’re feeling. They hurt you without feeling guilty. It doesn’t matter to them where you are and what are you doing. They don’t seem to invest their time in you. They have stopped giving attention to you.

 

(9)  They don’t care to get attention from you too:

They don’t react anymore if you don’t call them the whole day. They aren’t bothered if you don’t care for them at all. It’s as if they have accepted your ignorance and they know it’s the reality.

 

(10)  You are the one to initiate conversations:

They hardly talk to you. They don’t care to talk to you at all. You are the one who always start the conversations and they seem to be disinterested in continuing them. The long conversations the two of you enjoyed have lost their charm.

 

(11)  Your physical presence has lost its importance:

They don’t crave for your physical presence anymore. They aren’t bothered if you are around at all. They aren’t excited if you come and meet them. They tend to treat you like a ghost when you’re around.

18 Relationship Red Flags You Should Never Ignore

18 Relationship Red Flags You Should Never Ignore

We often get confused regarding what are the true gestures of love. A lot of people take advantage of such confusions and ruin our lives. It’s better to watch out for these 18 red flags in your relationship so that you can protect yourself before it’s too late.

 

(1)  Their sex drive runs on extremes: either too high or too low:

A healthy relationship requires a balanced sex drive or something which is same for both. If your partner has too high sex drive or too low sex drive, it implies you’re definitely not on the same page. Continuing with this results in getting hurt, depression, resentment, etc. because of the difference in expectations of sex.

 

(2)  They try to isolate you from your family and friends:

This is a scary sign if your partner tries to isolate you from your family and friends. It means they don’t love but they lust you and soon they will leave once they have taken whatever they needed, leaving you all alone.

 

(3)  They often roll their eyes at you:

According to research, if a married couple rolls their eyes at one another, there’s a chance that they will divorce soon enough. Rolling eyes show a lack of disrespect and it’s extremely unhealthy for a relationship.

 

(4)  They speak ill of their exes:

Speaking ill of exes doesn’t justify their love for you. As satisfying as it sounds, the reality is they fell in love with them and stayed with them. No matter how badly their relationship ended, no person can be extremely bad. If your partner is saying such things, be assured they will say the same about you when they move on with someone else.

 

(5)  They always tell you how perfect you are:

It might sound so sweet and romantic to be called perfect but wait! Reality Check! You’re not perfect. None of us are either. They are just flattering. This is obsession and they aren’t being romantic at all; they are just creepy.

 

(6)  They cross the limits of your ‘physical boundaries’ innocently:

How often have you been telling your partner to stop tickling? Hugs are warm but not always we like them. Isn’t it? If they continue crossing your physical boundaries in these playful ways, it’s a warning sign they don’t respect your body and would never care for your personal space.

 

(7)  They rush into a new relationship too fast:

A relationship takes time. It needs to be nurtured. If your partner is rushing it too quickly, it means you’re a rebound or he’s a narcissist. Run away!

 

(8)  They keep secrets from you:

If they love you truly, they wouldn’t be keeping secrets from you. Isn’t it?

 

(9)  They misbehave with their parents:

If your partner treats their parents badly, then it’s a sign they will treat you badly too because it shows they don’t have any respect for their family members.

 

(10)  They cheated on their partner with you:

It’s better to have a clear idea about your partner’s past because if they cheated on their ex with you, they will do the same too.

 

(11)  They call you names in an argument:

Calling names isn’t cool; it’s a reflection of abusive behavior. It’s okay to have fights but if your partner calls you names during a fight, it’s better to leave the toxic relationship.

 

(12)  They don’t have any work ethic:

Having work ethics show how professional and disciplined they are. If they don’t know manners at workplace, they wouldn’t behave well elsewhere too. You’re taking the risk of a toxic relationship if you still plan on sticking by their side.

 

(13)  They will never apologize while continuously making you take the blame:

They themselves will never apologize when they are wrong while they try to put all the blame on you. This means they don’t have any respect for you, they don’t care about you at all. It’s a toxic relationship and you shouldn’t be hanging around with them.

 

(14)  They always demand your phone and passwords of your social media accounts:

Demanding your phone, your social media passwords isn’t a healthy possessiveness or a romantic gesture. They simply can’t trust you. Why would you want to be with someone who can’t even trust and respect you?

6 Signs They Don’t Love You Even If They Say They Do

6 Signs They Don't Love You Even If They Say They Do

 

“The truest form of love is how you behave toward someone, not how you feel about them.” ― Steve Hall.

Love isn’t about words, it’s about commitment. It’s about the moments you spend together, it’s about how you respect one another and be there for each other. The phrase ‘I love you’ has been misused time and again. We have come across people who don’t abide by it even if they say it. That’s definitely not loving.

If you are wondering how to identify whether your partner really means what they say or not, here are 6 signs you should look out for:

(1)  They say it too soon:

One can fall in love at first sight but it takes time and commitment to retain that love. If a person is in love with you, they will give time to the relationship to help it grow. They will nurture it to realize that yes, they are really in love with you. Saying ‘I love you’ too soon signifies some sort of hurry. If someone is in love with you, why should they hurry? It signifies they have other intentions.

 

(2)  They say it too often:

Saying ‘I love you’ too often isn’t a symbol of undying love. The reality is exactly the opposite.  These repeated sayings show your partner is insecure about the relationship and is probably faking it. So they are always trying to convince you they love you so that their mask doesn’t fall off.

 

(3)  They are obsessed with the idea of the two of you as a couple:

It’s great that the two of you are dating. But being in a relationship doesn’t imply discarding individual identities. If your partner is always saying things in terms of ‘us’ then they are ignoring you as an individual and also themselves too. Either they have serious personality issues which is not at all good for your relationship or they have wrong intentions and therefore they don’t want you to think anything beyond the existence of the two of you as a couple because that is the safest way to get away with cheating.

 

(4)  They are too physical:

The physical relationship is an integral part of a relationship. However, if a relationship is based solely on physical bonding, it falls apart. If your partner is always insisting on the physical relationship without giving time to emotional bonding, then be warned that they are with you only for the physical relationship and they will leave when their hunger is satisfied.

 

(5)  They claim they like everything you do:

We have similarities and we have differences. It can’t happen that all of a sudden we meet someone who seems to like everything we do and everything about us. If your partner is doing that and keeps on telling how compatible the two of you are, then it can be anything but love.

 

(6)  They are always trying to show others how you look as a couple:

A relationship is formed between two people. It’s not about how others think of you but how the two of you think of each other. If your partner is always concerned about how the two of you look as a couple, continuously posting on social media, showing off, etc, then they are obsessed with the idea of being in a relationship, not with the idea of being in a relationship with you. Here, the relationship matters, not the person.

 

If you find one or more of these red flags, it’s time you start considering the prospect of your relationship.


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6 Signs They Don't Love You Even If They Say They Do

 

 

 

5 Signs He’s Not Your Soulmate (And You’re Settling For Second Best)

5 Signs He’s Not Your Soulmate (And You’re Settling For Second Best)

You deserve the real thing.

Time and again you’ve probably heard the phrase, “When it’s right, you’ll just know.”

Many are a bit impatient when it comes to waiting for Ms. or Mr. Right to show up.

I have friends who were so determined to get married and have a family that they wasted no time in their quest for an easy prey who would give them exactly what they wanted. They cared about the guy and even enjoyed being with him.

But they didn’t have that connection that you feel when you’re with your soulmate.

One of the couples is now divorced, and another almost got divorced. After some marriage counseling, they decided to work things out.

 

Good things — and lasting love — come to those who wait, and here are 5 signs that you’re more in love with the idea of love than actually finding a soulmate.

 

1.  You’re willing to settle because what you desire is more important than who you’re with.

If you want the wedding, the 2.5 kids, and the white picket fence, and don’t really care who it’s with (as long as he’s a good provider and is nice to you) then you’re probably not ready to fall in love.

Or, if you want love primarily because you don’t want to be the only single person at family functions or weddings, then you’re probably not ready to fall in love.

Definitely, keep your eyes on the prize, but make sure that the prize is what you truly desire. You deserve to have an amazing relationship with crackling chemistry and the potential to last forever!

 

2.  You’re trying to avoid something.

If you’re seeking to avoid hurt or loneliness, then you’re probably not ready to fall in love.

They say the best way to get over a relationship is to get into another one.

The problem with this is that you’re bringing your past relationship into the next one.

If you haven’t had enough time to grieve, then there’s an almost certainty that the next one won’t last, either. Allow yourself to feel the pain in order to heal. I promise that the sadness won’t last forever.

If you’re lonely or bored, then fill your time with activities you love. Enjoy your singlehood, instead of being a victim to it. When you’re having fun and are in acceptance of where you are, that’s when you’ll exude the glow that attracts great partners into your life.

Like attracts like.

So if you’re falling in love to avoid pain, your new boyfriend/girlfriend will probably be, too. If you’re falling in love because you’re lonely, your new boyfriend/girlfriend will probably be, too. And this is not the stuff of great, successful relationships.

 

3.  Your partner isn’t on the same page as you.

This woman that I used to work with dated a man that told her from the beginning that he wasn’t ready for anything serious. She was. And she wanted something serious with him.

She felt like if she was there for him, supported him, and showed him how great she was, he’d be ready and would propose to her within a year.

They broke up instead. No matter how great she was, or how much she supported him, he never got on the same page as her.

If someone that you’re interested in tells you up front that they’re not in the same place that you are, take their word for it. If you can accept that, great! Have a blast.

But, if you’re like my friend who was looking for more, then do not fall in love with that person. It’s better to let them go so you can be with someone who wants exactly what you want.

 

4.  You’re not able to be yourself, warts and all.

Have you ever felt like you had to twist yourself into a pretzel to be in a relationship with someone? Or that you had to break up, or apart, with yourself?

If you’re trying too hard to impress someone, or you don’t feel like you can authentically be yourself with them, then do not fall in love with them.

You are enough just the way you are. If you’ve been with people in the past who’ve said you’re too much of something, or not enough of something else, then they’re not your soulmate or your “One”.