How To Prevent A Toxic Relationship From Ruining Your Life

Are you in a toxic relationship? Are you struggling big time and recognizing that this relationship is ruining your life?

Many of us are in toxic relationships, ones we can’t escape, ones that are keeping us from living our full lives, from living and loving and being our best self.

We only have one life to live and we need to make sure that we live it to the fullest, even if we are in a toxic relationship that is holding us back.


5 Ways To Prevent A Toxic Relationship From Ruining Your Life

#1 – Love yourself.

Many of us who are in a toxic relationship believe that we are not worthy and are full of self-hatred.

Years of being berated by our partner told that we are worthless and stupid and total losers, has taken a huge toll on our self-esteem. Furthermore, we know that we have stayed in this relationship, even though we are being abused, and that erodes our self-confidence even more.

It is important that, if we are in a toxic relationship that is ruining our lives, we make an effort to love ourselves. That we set goals for ourselves and stick to them. That we take care of ourselves, getting exercise and eating right. That we practice self-care – whether it be a massage or a walk in the woods.

Most importantly, it is essential that we spend time with people who love us. Who reminds us about how wonderful we really are. Who supports us in every way and helps us navigate the world no matter what.

If you are stuck in a toxic relationship, make an effort to love yourself every day. You deserve it.


#2 – Don’t take all the blame.

I know that you have been told over and over that everything that is wrong in your relationship is all your fault. I know that you believe that if you were only more patient or gave them more sex or made them happier everything would be fine.

Let me tell you that this just isn’t true. There are two people in every relationship so, yes, you shoulder some of the blame but it’s definitely not all of you, no matter what you have been told.

Managing self-blame, recognizing that it is a false premise, will help you to love yourself and make you stronger in a relationship. It will allow you to take some power back so that you can not only survive but thrive as you live your life.


#3 – Get help.

Many of us who are struggling in toxic relationships are ashamed and, therefore, go it alone. Even if we are aware that we need help, we hesitate to reach out for it because of our shame and self-blame. We fear being judged and we don’t see what kind of help could make a difference.

Asking for help is the best way to survive a toxic relationship before it ruins your life. Even though women are strong, even the strongest of us need help when we are feeling desperate.

So, reach out to someone who can help and support you.  Your priest, your doctor, your psychiatrist, your life coach, your lawyer or your family. Get help understanding what your options are as far as this relationship – what you need to do to keep your life together in spite of the pain.


#4 – Leave.

You are probably scoffing at me right now. Yeah, right you are thinking. And I get that.

I know that it seems like you could never leave this relationship. That you still love this person. That you have put so much time into it that walking away seems stupid. That you don’t believe in giving up and want to keep trying. Whatever the reasons are, leaving seems untenable.

Leaving is ALWAYS an option. Your life is short, too short to waste in a relationship that is making you unhappy.

If physical fear is holding you back, there are groups out there that can help you escape from your toxic relationship. If fear about what the future holds is what is keeping you stuck, consider what would be better – the ways things are now or how things could be if you were free.

Mitzi Bockmann
I am a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. My writing has been published on The Huffington Post, Prevention, Psych Central, Pop Sugar, MSN and The Good Man Project, among others. I work with all kinds of people to help them go from depressed and overwhelmed to confident and happy in their relationships and in their world.


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