The Honest Truth About Toxic Relationships


Honest Truth Toxic Relationships

The truth about toxic relationships is not always that easy to define, because many times, the relationship might be toxic but the person might not be. There’s a lot more to the honest truth of toxic relationships than what most people know.

If you ask me about toxic relationships I could tell you about the best person I know.

He’s handsome, loving, kind, and hardworking. I could tell you he got handed a lot of shitty cards and turned it around and made the best of the situation, using what would make a lot of us angry and bitter as fuel to succeed.

If you ask me about toxic relationships, I’ll always smile a little. I smile because I know the truth about toxic relationships and toxic people.

The truth is sometimes people are simply toxic for each other. They aren’t always bad people but they could be bad for you.

Sometimes two people with the best intentions and best hearts combine and combust like elements that just don’t match. If you ask me about overcoming a toxic relationship I use the word love to describe it.

The love I had for an individual I didn’t want to give up on. Someone I wanted more than I wanted anyone. Someone I would have done anything for. Someone who got a hundred chances when I barely gave most people two. The same one who got away with a lot of things that wouldn’t have flown with anyone else. But the truth was with him it was different.

And the toxic parts of our relationship crushed me. I use the word toxic because that’s what it was.

I could tell you about the times I’d stare at my cell phone and I knew he put on the read receipt to fuck with me then not answer. Or about the conversations that escalated into fights and him dropping some line because he wanted to get to me and he knew exactly how. I could tell you about the screaming and arguments and how it always ended with an apology and I love you that made it feel okay. I could tell you, he probably took out a lot of things he was going through on me, simply because he could.

I could tell you about the night my mother picked me up drunk off the bathroom floor as I wept in her arms because I missed him during another few months we weren’t speaking.

I could tell you about the coy games of social media of adding each other and deleting each other so often.

I could tell you that there wasn’t a kiss that filled me with such fire and passion in the moments we were together. And I could tell you how every time he’d leave my heart would break.

Related: 12 Reasons Why The Kindest People End Up In Toxic Relationships

I could tell you about the circles we ran in for years and every time he’d disappear and come back, I secretly hoped this time would be different. I could tell you I looked at my future and I saw him there. I could tell you about the fights I’d get into with friends as I defended him but what they saw was the self-destruction he was causing in my life.

But the honest truth about it was, I hurt myself loving him. I changed loving someone like that. I went from someone who demanded respect to someone who didn’t want relationships unless they had that toxic adrenaline rush.

I went from someone who had expectations of how to be treated to expecting to be treated like shit because that’s what I was used to. I lost myself trying to love him and what happened was I ended up in a lot of similar relationships where I wasn’t treated the way I deserved.

So when I say love and toxic in the same sentence it is love but what you have to realize is, it wouldn’t have been toxic if the love was reciprocated.

And that was the difference. I loved him and he couldn’t love me the way I needed him to.

We each needed something of each other and we kept trying to find something that wasn’t there. We kept holding on and hurting each other because that’s what we were used to.

And people ask was there a breaking point?

And there were a lot of little things.

Sitting in my car outside his house because I wasn’t allowed in. Sneaking around and hiding because we were some secret. Meeting girls and I had to pretend like it didn’t faze me when in reality if I pulled out my phone and showed her a conversation, I could have ended things right there. Going stag to events I wanted him to be my plus one too and always being let down.

But the truth was there wasn’t a single moment where I had enough because, with every one of those moments that should have pushed me away, I was like a moth to light it attracted me more.

But after a while, I just got really tired. I couldn’t keep doing this to myself. And the truth was, I walked away still loving him. I walked away still thinking the world of him. I walked away still thinking he was a great guy.

Because the truth was, he was and is a great guy. And what took me years to realize was we weren’t good together.

Trying to force anything will just end in destruction. This so happened to be self-destruction.

And as years passed and we reconnected not at a level of intimacy but friendship. I looked at him and flashes from the past always came back to me looking in his eyes. But an even more clear moment was sitting across from him as we stared at each other and I felt nothing.

I was over him. The same person I never thought I’d get over, I did.

Related: The Honest Truth About Life After A Toxic Relationship

And we parted ways with a kiss on the cheek and him being the one to say I love you first and I knew this time he meant it. And I drove away listening to the song that used to be ours and it no longer hurt.

What I learned about overcoming a toxic relationship and allowing it to be a friendship first was about forgiveness. The second, was about the love that didn’t fade but changed form. And third, was sometimes the people we want to be with most are the ones we are best without. And that’s okay. It’s okay to not get what you want. Because it’s only then, you get what you deserve.

Written By Kirsten Corley
Follow Her Work On Facebook
The Honest Truth About Toxic Relationships
The Honest Truth About Toxic Relationships
Honest Truth Toxic Relationships pin
The Honest Truth About Toxic Relationships

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Up Next

Are Adult Temper Tantrums Dangerous? Recognizing and Addressing the Risks

Are Adult Temper Tantrums Dangerous? Understanding The Risks

Adult temper tantrums can be really unpredictable and you never know which direction they might take. This article is going to discuss the dangers of temper tantrums in adults, so that you know how to protect yourself.


Adult temper tantrums are not necessarily physical but can still hurt a partner.

Adult temper tantrums can easily slip into domestic abuse.

Adult temper tantrums are destructive for the person having them and those they are directed against.

Some children have temper tantrums in response to unmet needs or desires. Tantrums are especially comm

Up Next

Spotting Emotional Neglect In Childhood: 8 Important Clues

Spotting Emotional Neglect In Childhood: Important Clues

Anyone who has been through emotional neglect in childhood knows that it never leaves you; it haunts you for the rest of your life. It’s like an invisible wound, that may not leave invisible scars, but it can shape you in ways you might not even notice.

Maybe it was the feeling that something’s missing from your childhood, but you couldn’t quite put your finger on it. Well you are not alone. Many people experience emotional neglect without even realizing it.

Today we are going to talk about the impact of emotional neglect in childhood, and what are the symptoms of childhood emotional neglect in adults. This isn’t just another list – it’s a chance to understand yourself and your emotions better.


Up Next

Romantic Manipulation: 10 Subtle Phrases To Watch Out For

Romantic Manipulation: Sneaky Phrases That Signal Trouble

Romantic manipulation is sneaky, and it can creep into a relationships without either person fully realizing it. We have all heard those phrases that sound sweet or caring but leaves a bitter aftertaste, making us second-guess our feelings.

Manipulative partners often have a way with words, twisting them to control or belittle. So, are you curious to know the signs of romantic manipulation, and the things manipulative partners say?

Whether you’re navigating your own love life, or just looking out for your friends, this article will help you spot the subtle signs of emotional trickery. So, are you ready to dive in?


Up Next

Flying Monkeys: The Narcissist’s Secret Weapons

Flying Monkeys: The Narcissist’s Secret Weapons

Have you ever heard of the term “flying monkeys” or “flying monkeys of the narcissist”? Who are they and what do they do exactly? This article is going to explore everything about who flying monkeys are and what role they play in narcissistic abuse.

‘Flying Monkey’ is the term given to those agents and allies that collude with an abusive person. Their role is to continue carrying out tormenting the victim on their behalf.

If it’s during the relationship, the abuser gets to abuse by proxy as it’s other people that are getting their hands dirty.

If it’s after the relationship has ended or you’ve left that job or left that area, it’s a way of perpetuating the abuse. Again though, the abusers hands are clean as others are doing the work for them.


Up Next

4 Warning Signs Of A Toxic Leader

Warning Signs Of A Toxic Leader

Have you ever worked with a toxic boss or toxic leader? If you have, then you know how horrible and malicious they really are, and if you haven’t, then read on to know the signs of a toxic leader so that it’s easier for you to understand what you are dealing with.


Poor, toxic leaders demand unquestioning loyalty and service to the leader.

Bad leaders rule by a sense of fear, both of outsiders and of the leader’s wrath.

Good leadership empowers followers, shows concern for them, and benefits the collective.

All too often, people fall prey to self-serving

Up Next

Eggshell Parenting Meaning: 5 Signs You’re Making These Mistakes!

Eggshell Parenting: Signs You're Making These Mistakes!

Parenting is one of the most sincere tasks in every individual’s life that should be done with utmost care and coherence. However, the relationship between parents and their children is often tampered by the mental, and behavioral issues of the parents.

Thus, mood disorders and the violent nature of parents can affect the child’s life. Eggshell parenting is one such consequence. In this blog, we will guide you to understand eggshell parenting and show you the risky spots you should avoid.

What is Eggshell Parenting?  

Up Next

Top 6 Most Notorious Serial Killers In History and Their Psychology Unleashed

Top Most Notorious Serial Killers In History

Some of the most horrifying and notorious murder cases in criminal history are those in which the most notorious serial killers caused irreversible harm to society by their horrific deeds. Motivated by an intricate network of psychological, social, and frequently pathological elements, these infamous persons have perpetrated atrocities that persistently enthral and appal the public.

Every instance sheds light on the dark psychology of serial killers, from Ed Gein’s horrific acts to Ted Bundy’s deliberate and planned killings. Investigating these sinister tales reveals not only the specifics of their heinous deeds but also the patterns and reasons behind them, providing insights into one of the most ghastly aspects of human nature.

6 Most Notorious Serial Killers In History