12 Reasons Why People With Good Hearts End Up In Toxic Relationships


People With Good Hearts And Toxic Relationships: Twelve Red Flags

Do you wonder why people with good hearts always end up in toxic relationships? The following article has some interesting insights to offer on this!

It always seems the best kindest people I know end up in toxic relationships with these people who don’t deserve all they have to offer.

I find myself wondering both about them and myself. Why do we choose these types of people? Why is this recurring theme so dominant in our lives?

Different person. The same type of person. Same attraction. The same cycle we can’t seem to get ourselves out of. Same endings that crush us. And we think it’s our fault or it’s us to blame and maybe it is.

Maybe we have to be more cautious. Use our heads instead of our hearts. But that’s never easy for people like us.

They say it’s weak people who end up in toxic relationships but I believe these people have a strength that goes unrecognized and unappreciated. But it’s these people who end up changing others by being good and kind.

The one that leaves a mark on even the cruelest and undeserving hearts.

Why People With Good Hearts End Up In Toxic Relationships

Here are 12 reasons why people with good hearts end up in toxic relationships

1. People with good hearts see the good in everyone.

There is something about people with good hearts, it isn’t that they are blind or naive to someone’s flaws.

They see it clear as day but they make a deliberate choice to channel their energy into someone’s best qualities.

While this is a good trait to have, it also is their greatest flaw because they will ignore every red flag thrown their way.

Related: Why People Who Struggled The Most In Life Are The Kindest

2. People with good hearts give too many chances.

All you need to say when you mess up is I’m sorry. That’s it for them. They move completely forward giving you another shot.

This becomes a problem when the toxic person knows they can say and do whatever and anyone with a good heart will always welcome you with open arms.

There are some people who don’t deserve even two chances to burn you then they go and give them ten only to get hurt every time.

3. People with good hearts never treat someone the way they are treated.

They know what it’s like to be treated badly and they will never deliberately make the choice to hurt someone. They will never give someone a taste of their own medicine.

They don’t believe in hurting anyone even if the person hurts them. They truly believe in goodness.

Why The Kindest People End Up In Toxic Relationships
Why The Kindest People End Up In Toxic Relationships

4. People with good hearts forgive and forget easily.

They really do have the ability to just forget even the worst moments. Their friends have to remind them, remember this person did this, that, and another thing.

The truth is no matter how many times they get hurt by someone they don’t hold onto pain. They let it go carelessly and easily. They don’t fear wearing their heart on their sleeve.

People with good hearts will pour their hearts out to people who don’t deserve their love. Their ability to love deeply knows no bounds. People with good hearts just never run out of love to give people.

Loving hard comes very naturally to them and they do it fearlessly. What is hard about being like this is they give other people the love they should be giving themselves.

5. People with good hearts give more than they get.

People with good hearts don’t expect anything from anyone, yet they’ll give the shirt on their back to someone who might not even deserve it. They will constantly go out of their way and go the extra mile for the people they care about.

The problem arises in toxic relationships when people take advantage of it. They go from appreciating it to expecting it then getting mad when the person doesn’t keep up that standard.

What it teaches is the constant need to always try to win someone over through gestures even when it’s not reciprocated and that’s when it becomes toxic.

6. People with good hearts don’t judge someone’s mistakes.

They are so accepting of everyone and everything. Tell them the worst thing you’ve ever done or the worst thing that has ever happened to you and I promise they will accept and teach you how to heal.

They lack judgment because they know even they have made mistakes and have done things they aren’t proud of.

The problem is when a toxic person doesn’t learn from their mistakes and the person with a good heart is the one that gets hurt because of it.

Related: 6 Reasons Why Kind People Fail At Being Happy In Life

7. People with good hearts gravitate towards people with baggage.

People with good hearts love seeing the underdog overcome something. So they always end up in these relationships with people who have a tough past. But they don’t judge them for it but accept them.

It becomes toxic though when they get handed too much. When this person relies on them really heavily.

When this person doesn’t know how to properly channel all of their emotions and instead of doing it in a healthy way, they take it out on the person who has been there.

They know the person with a good heart can handle them at their worst and that’s exactly what you get.

8. People with good hearts don’t use words to hurt people.

People with good hearts know the power words have. They have watched themselves fall apart because of others choosing to take them down with harsh and cruel words.

They’ve watched themselves cry over texts they’ve reread. People with good hearts truly don’t understand unkindness. Because they don’t have a mean bone in their body.

In toxic relationships, toxic people have a sour tongue and a lack of remorse. When a toxic person develops a deep relationship with someone with a good heart, they get to know them better than anyone but that also means they know exactly what to say to take them down and they do.

9. People with good hearts aren’t confrontational.

They avoid fights. They will apologize even when it’s not their fault. They will never call you out on something and they don’t stick up for themselves too much.

Toxic people see someone like this and they are attracted to the fact they know they can control them. And people with good hearts simply try and appease them.

Why The Kindest People End Up In Toxic Relationships
Why The Kindest People End Up In Toxic Relationships

10. People with good hearts want to save people.

They don’t look at someone who is damaged and broken as someone who is flawed. They look at it as a challenge. They look at it as someone they want to fix.

But in the attempt to try and fix someone toxic, they lose pieces of themselves trying to keep someone whole.

11. People with good hearts hate giving up on anyone.

Toxic relationships run in these tireless circles because people with good hearts refuse to give up on someone they believe in.

People with good hearts see people others look past and they want to be right about them. So they stand by them for months or years in hopes that they become the person they knew they would be.

But the cost is getting hurt because a toxic person has got to learn on their own.

Related: 12 Characteristics That Make You One Of The Kindest Personality Type

12. People with good hearts think they can change people.

People with good hearts think they can change people but the change doesn’t occur while in the relationships. Toxic relationships ruin everyone involved.

It isn’t until the relationship is over does the toxic person reflects on this good person they did have and took advantage of.

There’s this moment where they realize how horrible they were to this person who deserved it the least. And it’s only then when each person has moved on they change.

People with good hearts change toxic people but toxic people destroy the good ones.

Anyone with a good heart finally does walk away from their toxic half but it kills them to do so. They feel like they’ve let them down.

But then they realize it’s for their own good. Then they have to learn to heal from a relationship that took such an emotional toll on them.

Because while they were loving this toxic person who couldn’t love them back, fully or right in that time their good heart changed.

They suddenly come to trust anyone including themselves a little less. They have walls that are so high that they never had up before. They question everyone and everything because of one person.

People with good hearts sacrifice themselves to try and save someone but the cost was self-destruction in the process.

Written By: Kirsten Corley
For more of Her Work, Visit Her Facebook Page
Why The Girls With Best Hearts Find Themselves In Toxic Relationships
12 Reasons Why People With Good Hearts End Up In Toxic Relationships
Kindest People End Up In Toxic Relationships Pin
12 Reasons Why People With Good Hearts End Up In Toxic Relationships
people with good hearts
12 Reasons Why People With Good Hearts End Up In Toxic Relationships

— Share —

— About the Author —


  1. Kayla VanDerweiland Avatar
    Kayla VanDerweiland

    Thank you for putting words to what I was thinking/feeling/experiencing in my own toxic relationship. You speak very knowledgeably about something horrid, and I hope for your sake that you haven’t gone through anything awful/painful. Sending good thoughts your way!

Leave a Reply

Up Next

The Pebbling Love Language: Inspired By Penguins To Transform Relationships

What Is Pebbling Love language? Tips To Spark Love

For some people love doesn’t mean big actions and expensive presents, but rather small things matter the most to them. So here’s pebbling love language – inspired by penguins. Let’s find out if you have this language of love without even knowing it.

What Is Pebbling Love language?

To attract a partner, male Gentoo penguins offer female penguins little stones or pebbles, to help build their nests.

Although humans don’t exchange rocks as a token of love, but the idea of penguin pebbling love language operates on the same basic principle of making someo

Up Next

Can TikTok’s ‘Meeting Someone Twice Theory’ Really Lead To Love?

Meeting Someone Twice Theory: Best Examples

Has a person ever crossed your path and then reappeared at another point in your life, causing you to feel like you have some kind of unexplainable bond with them? According to the newest idea from TikTok, Meeting Someone Twice Theory – is a meaningful thought that says love often needs a second chance.

So let’s learn how the universe might be making these things happen on purpose.

What Is The Meeting Someone Twice Theory?

You meet someone in passing at a coffee shop, party or on the street. You exchange fleeting pleasantries, maybe share a laugh or a conversation, and then life goes on as usual.

But then, weeks or months or years later, you cross paths again and th

Up Next

How To Forgive A Cheater And Move Forward: A Relationship Guide

How To Forgive A Cheater And Move On: A Relationship Guide

Trying to forgive a cheater can be one of the toughest challenges in a relationship, but it’s not impossible. Here’s a guide to help you heal your heart and move forward with confidence, grace and peace.

Did you know that around forty percent of unmarried relationships and twenty-five percent of marriages have at least one instance of infidelity?

If your partner has cheated on you, you’re not alone. Betrayal can be one of the most painful experiences in a relationship.

But it’s important to remember that forgiveness is not about excusing the behavior or forgetting what happened. It’s about letting go of the hurt and anger so that you can move forward.

In this guide, you will learn practical steps for how to forgive a cheater, inc

Up Next

7 Common Trauma Beliefs Preventing You From Finding Love

Common Trauma Beliefs Preventing You From Finding Love

Are you still single, even after putting in a lot of effort to find love? The answer might lie in your trauma beliefs. Yes, you heard me right. Trauma beliefs are the deep-seated, often subconscious notions formed from past painful experiences that shape how you see yourself and relationships, in general.

Beliefs caused by trauma can act as invisible barriers, keeping you from finding and maintaining love. If you are tired of feeling stuck in the same old patterns, it’s time to dig into these 7 trauma beliefs that might be sabotaging your love life.

So, are you ready to know all the ways trauma is keeping you single? Come on, let’s find out together.


Up Next

3 Relationship Check In Questions On Love, According To A Psychologist

Relationship Check In Questions For Couples In Love

It’s common for us to push relationships down our list of priorities when we get busy. We think we’ll make up for lost time later, assuming everything will be fine. But what if everything isn’t fine? Below are 3 crucial relationship check in questions for couples to make life simpler!

According to a recent publication of Current Issues in Personality Psychology, discussions were shown to be an effective strategy for solving disagreements and improving the quality of relationships.

So, a monthly relationship relationship check in questions can help keep your love boat afloat. Once a month, you and your partner can sit across from each other and talk. It isn’t about pointing fingers or finding fault; it’s about feeding the connection

Up Next

8 Clear Signs Someone Cares About You (Even If They Don’t Always Express It)

Unmistakable Signs Someone Cares About You

Are you confused about whether they genuinely care about you? Well, this article will take you through 8 unmistakable signs someone cares about you deeply, even though they do not always express it.

There is an ancient saying that actions speak louder than words. An expression like that tends to stick around for a reason, and this one does make a lot of sense. In our increasingly chaotic and noisy world, it’s easy to forget that some people struggle to verbalize their feelings. But remember, still waters run deep.

Just because someone struggles to express their feelings in words doesn’t mean they don’t care about you. Actually, the real clues are buried within their actions. Look out for these telltale signs to know if someone cares about you genuinely:

Up Next

Codependence and Interdependence: What Truly Sets Them Apart?

Codependence and Interdependence: What Truly Sets Them Apart?

The question ‘What is the difference between codependence and interdependence?’ In reality, it asks whether a relationship is dysfunctional or healthy. Well, in today’s Best Day Blog, I will be taking you through the differences between the two and how to recover from codependency.

Dysfunctional Relationships

I talk a lot about what dysfunctional relationships can look like, but how do you develop a healthy relationship, and what does a healthy one look like?

Unfortunately, the idea of relationships we all grow up with from movies and TV is unhealthy. The relationships shown are romanticized