Your Instincts Are Telling You That You’re Stuck In A Bad Relationship
95% or more of our mind is Unconscious, this vast part of our mind, which we have little awareness of, contains riches beyond imagination.
“The fact of the matter is that our unconscious is wiser than we are about everything.”
― M. Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth
Our subconscious or unconscious mind communicates with us in the form of instincts, intuition, dreams or gut feelings. It can send an important message to us in the form of sudden flashes of insight or certain fragment of thoughts that pop in our mind or certain sensations that we feel in our bodies.
But most of the time we do not pay any heed to this “small little voice” that guides us from within only to regret later.
It is very important that we learn to become aware of our instincts and gut feelings and take their help in any important decision-making process rather than just going with our logical reasoning.
One important area of life where our instincts can guide us effectively and easily is our intimate relationships.
It happens quite often that in the initial phases of our relationships we are under the spell of euphoria and we tend to overlook any red flags or warning signs that our instinct is trying to show us.
Here are 10 common ways our gut feeling or instinct speaks to us:
If you feel you can relate to any one or more signs here, and then take a long and hard look at your relationship, reassess its quality and take appropriate action.
1) You find it hard to trust your partner
Trust, communication, and respect are the foundations on which a strong relationship is built.
If you feel that you can’t get yourself to trust your partner, then know that it will be really hard for the relationship’s foundation to stay together.
We all falter sometimes and no one is perfect but if more often than not your partner lets you down and your instincts tell you that they are not being honest with you, it is time you paid heed to your gut feelings.
If you feel that your partner’s words and actions don’t match or they lack consistency or integrity, then you need to really reassess your relationship and move on, girl!
2) You feel drained after talking to them or spending time with them
It happens so many times that when we spend time with someone and come back home we feel so drained and exhausted even though they may have said and done all the right things. This is because our body has a way of picking up on negative energy and bad vibes.
If you feel drained or exhausted after spending time with your partner, it could be your body’s way of making you wary of bad vibes and telling you to proceed with caution.
3). You feel bored in your relationship, most of the time
If you find yourself spending more time on your phone and office instead of looking forward to spending time with your partner, it means that you don’t have enough spark in your relationship.
You know how you have a level of comfort and ease with your bestie, you never run out of things to say to each other and want to spend as much time with them as possible, you should have that excitement and comfort level with your sweetheart too.
If you feel bored most of the time in your relationship, it could be your instincts telling you to reconsider your relationship.
4). You constantly think about what your life would be if you were “Single”
If you constantly think about how your life would be “without” your partner or think about dating other people or getting back on Tinder just to add some fun in your life, it could be a sign that you are not that happy in your relationship as you pretend to be.
It is ok to miss the freedom of single life sometimes but if you constantly fantasize about how your life would be if you were single, you really need to evaluate if you’re in the right relationship babe!
5) You don’t make plans with each other
If you prefer to spend time alone or with your friends over spending time with your partner most of the time than you clearly don’t enjoy their company a great deal.
If you don’t make enough plans together to go out on trips or vacations or other events that you would like to explore together as a couple, it’s a clear indication that you’re not really that into each other as you would like to believe.
6) You can’t be your authentic self with your partner
If you can’t be your authentic and vulnerable self with your partner, then who can you be authentic with?
When you are with the right partner, you can be 100% yourself without any need for pretense or fear of judgment or ridicule.
“Whereas many people go through life holding back major pieces of themselves from everyone else — and only sharing what they want seen — when you find ‘The One,’ they can really ‘see’ you.
Moreover, you will feel comfortable to be yourself and feel accepted and loved, without any pretense. This backdrop creates a precious opportunity to have truly honest communication and to share love, fears, and hopes without judgment.” – Rabbi Bregman, Relationship Expert
But if you feel like you have to put on a mask to be with your partner and you can’t be your true self with them, it may be an indicator they’re not a good match for you in the long run.
7) You don’t laugh together
Laughter is an important part of a relationship. Couples who are at ease with each other and can laugh together can sail through the hard times easier.
If you find it really hard to let your hair down with your partner and have fun and laughter together, your relationship will become more like a chore than your happy place.
“Laughter is an essential part of romantic connection. If you’re too serious, and you don’t know how to laugh together, your relationship probably won’t survive the [hard times].” – Dr. Tessina
8) You lack emotional intimacy and bonding
If you do not share a sense of intimacy, belongingness, and bonding that goes beyond physical with your partner, you will just feel a very shallow connection and it won’t keep you guys together for the long haul.
In a strong and solid relationship, both partners share emotional intimacy and bonding and want to grow and develop together as a team in the long run.
9) You don’t feel like being physically intimate with them
For a relationship to grow in the long run, you need to feel emotional and physical intimacy with your partner.
“If you’re not turned on, excited, or eager to be close, take note. To sustain intimacy throughout a long-term relationship, you need to begin with a strong intimate connection. If you’re enjoying snuggling, but never want it to go farther (or your partner doesn’t), then you’ve probably got a cuddly friend, not a love relationship.” –Dr. Tessina
10) You don’t feel safe or secure with them
Our feelings and emotions have a way of revealing our deepest thoughts and desires to us. It is very important to pay attention to how you feel.
If you feel insecure or alienated or unfulfilled consistently in your relationship, it is better to go to the core of the feelings and determine if you are really unhappy in the relationship and you are just keeping with it explains Psychotherapist – Jeffery Sumber,
“We all have a wide range of thoughts, from do they like me, do I like them, look at that other one over there, etc. If you also have a wave of intense love and kindness, sexual desire, appreciation, and gratitude, etc., it is likely that you’re with a partner whom you truly do love and admire. However, if you feel a deep sense of disgust, mistrust, alienation — more than once or twice — you might need to truly rethink the relationship or explore what is beneath the feelings. This will determine if you’re actually unhappy but telling yourself to keep with it. Your feelings are gold.”