Is Your Partner a Narcissist? 50 Key Signs You Need To Know

 / 

, ,
Is Your Partner A Narcissist? Fifty Warning Signs

Is your partner a narcissist? Dive into this eye-opening guide and uncover the 50 telltale signs that can help you find the answer you’ve been seeking

The label narcissist is used loosely these days, typically to indicate anyone who is vain and selfish, but the true personality disorder and its traits run much deeper, and carry long-term debilitating effects for those involved with such people.

If you were raised by a narcissistic parent or if your partner is a narcissist, you will likely feel more like an object to be used and manipulated to meet the narcissistic partner’s goals or needs.

You eventually realize your partner does not see the real you. It is a heart-breaking discovery to realize you have been conned or duped by someone you trusted and loved.

Below I’m offering you a checklist to determine if your relationship carries these devastating traits.

Remember: Narcissism is a spectrum disorder; someone with a high level or a number of these traits can be a more damaging influence on you, and your children. The more traits, the closer to a full-blown personality disorder.

Read: 11 Signs It’s An Emotionally Abusive Relationship And You Might Not Even Realize

This checklist is copyrighted and comes directly from my new book to be released on February 10, 2015: Will I Ever Be Free of You? How to Navigate a High-Conflict Divorce from a Narcissist, and Heal Your Family.

Is Your Partner a Narcissist? 50 Signs Your Partner Is A Narcissist

Ways Tell Partner Is Narcissist infographic
List of narcissistic traits in a narcissistic partner

1. When something goes wrong, does your partner blame everyone but himself or herself?

2. Does your partner refuse to be accountable for his or her bad behavior? (For example, “You made me so mad that I couldn’t help . . .”)

3. Does your partner believe he or she is always right?

4. Is your partner unable to tune in to your feelings or your children’s feelings?

5. Does your partner seem more concerned about how your behavior or your children’s behavior reflects on him or her than on understanding and accepting who you and the kids are as people?

6. Does your partner seem to be out of touch with his or her own feelings or seem to deny them?

7. Does your partner carry grudges against you and others?

8. Is it all about your partner and his/her money, time, parenting time, property, and wishes/demands?

9. Does your partner seem unwilling to listen to you and to hear your concerns?

10. Is your partner constantly telling you what to do?

11. Does your partner make you feel “not good enough”? Have your partner’s constant put-downs caused you to internalize this message?

12. Does your partner never ask about you, your day, or your feelings, even in passing?

13. Does your partner need to go on and on about how great he or she is and how pathetic you are?

14. Does your partner lie?

15. Does your partner manipulate?

16. Does your partner tell different people different stories about the same event, spinning the story so that he or she looks good?

Read: We Often Stay In Abusive Relationships Because of Trauma Bonding

17. When your partner talks about his or her kids, is it about what the kids do rather than who they are?

18. Are the children uncomfortable with your partner, love your partner, but at the same time are reluctant to spend time with him or her?

19. Have you come to realize that the kids protect themselves by not sharing their feelings with your partner?

20. Does your partner mistrust everyone?

21. Are the kids always trying to gain your partner’s love and approval?

22. Has your partner spent minimal time with the children?

23. Does your partner typically skip the children’s events if he or she does not have an interest in that particular activity or does not value it?

24. Does your partner push the children to be involved in activities that your partner likes or values and discourage or forbid them from pursuing activities that your partner does not value?

25. Have others in your life said that something is different or strange about your partner?

26. Does your partner take advantage of other people?

27. Is your partner all about power and control, pursuing power at all costs?

28. Is your partner all about image and how things look to others?

29. Does your partner seem to have no value system, no fixed idea of right and wrong for his or her behavior?

30. After the divorce, does your partner still want to exploit you? Or has your partner never calmed down?

31. When you try to discuss your life issues with your partner, does your partner change the subject so that you end up talking about your partner’s issues?

Read: 6 Common Signs You’re In An Abusive Relationship That Are Often Ignored

32. When you describe your feelings, does your partner try to top your feelings with his or her own stories?

33. Does your partner act jealous of you?

34. Does your partner lack empathy?

35. Does your partner only support things that reflect well on him or her?

36. Have you consistently felt a lack of emotional closeness with your partner?

37. Have you consistently questioned if your partner loves you?

38. Does your partner do considerate things for you only when others are around to witness that good behavior?

39. When something difficult happens in your life (for instance, an accident, illness, a divorce in your family or circle of friends), does your partner react with immediate concern about how it will affect him or her rather than with concern for you?

40. Is your partner overly conscious of what others think?

41. Do you feel used by your partner?

42. Do you feel responsible for your partner’s ailments or sicknesses?

43. Do you feel that your partner does not accept you?

44. Is your partner critical and judgmental of you and others?

Read: 18 Relationship Red Flags You Should Never Ignore

45. Do you feel that your partner does not know and value the real you and does not want to know the real you?

46. Does your partner act as if the world should revolve around him or her?

47. Does your partner appear phony to you?

48. Does your partner swing from grandiosity to a depressed mood?

49. Does your partner try to compete with you?

50. Does your partner always have to have things his or her way?

What do you think? Is your partner a narcissist?

As one of my clients commented, “If you have ever awakened at 3 a.m. with heart-pounding and a vivid certainty that you must end the relationship with the person sleeping next to you, but the next day continued on as if such middle-of-the-night thoughts were just a bad dream, then you may need some help with the struggle of what to do next.

The surreal Alice in Wonderland quality of living with a narcissist is not something we are born knowing how to deal with or even understand.”

Of course, there is hope and healing and if you determine you are struggling with an emotionally abusive relationship I encourage you to reach out, get help, and learn as much as you can about this insidious disorder. You deserve to be loved and cherished, as do your children.

From the book, Will I Ever Be Free of You? How to Navigate a High-Conflict Divorce from a Narcissist, and Heal Your Family. 


Written By Dr. Karyl McBride, Ph.D., L.M.F.T.
Printed with Permission
Originally appeared on Psychology Today

Is Your Partner a Narcissist Here Are 50 Ways to Tell
Is Your Partner A Narcissist? Here Are 50 Ways To Tell
Ways Tell Partner Is Narcissist pin
How To Tell If Your Partner Is A Narcissist? 50 List Of Narcissistic Traits
signs your partner is a narcissist

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply



Up Next

Do you often feel Defenseless and Defeated? 7 Signs of a Narcissistic Relationship

Am I In A narcissistic relationship? signs that confirms!

Do you constantly try to make sense of things that do not make sense? We know how exhausting that might be, constantly running in a loop with no ends not only drains you emotionally but also has serious effects on your physical and mental health.

If you can relate to the first sentence, you might have ended up with a narcissist, that is, someone having Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). This article discusses the 7 undeniable signs of being in a narcissistic relationship.

7 Ways a Victim Behaves in a Narcissistic Relationship



Up Next

Are Narcissists Delusional? 7 Signs Of A Delusional Narcissist

Are Narcissists Delusional? Signs Of Delusional Narcissists

Are narcissists delusional? It’s a question that has intrigued and confused many people out there. You must have come across certain people who seem to be a bit too obsessed with themselves, and who are always seeking admiration and validation from others. But what lies beneath this self-absorbed façade?

Are these people simply self-centered beings, or is there something lurking beneath the surface? Today, we are going to take a deep dive into the world of the delusional narcissist, and discuss seven glaring signs of a delusional narcissist.

So, are you ready to have your mind blown as we explore the darker side of narcissism and the tangled path it leads down? First let’s talk a bit about whether narcissists are delusional or not.



Up Next

Brain Fog After Narcissistic Abuse? 8 Ways Narcissists Can Muddle Your Brain

Brain Fog After Narcissistic Abuse? Reasons Why It Happens

Have you ever heard of the term “brain fog”? Brain fog is like a maddening haze that seems to muddle your thoughts, makes you forget what you were saying, and has you searching for your clothes in the trash bin? Well, today we are going to talk about a specific sort of brain fog – brain fog after narcissistic abuse.

Imagine that you have just escaped from a toxic and abusive relationship with a narcissist. You are slowly picking up the pieces and trying to get your life back in order, but somehow you feel like your head is not in the right place. Everything still feels very odd and you still feel very lost.

Even though you are free from the clutches of your narcissistic ex, this bizarre mental fog just won’t lift. Let’s explore how narcissists cause brain fog, and the link between brain fog and narcissistic abuse.



Up Next

Manipulating A Manipulator: 8 Subtle Tricks That Will Give You The Upper Hand

Manipulating A Manipulator: Subtle Psychological Tactics

Ever found yourself tangled in a web spun by a master manipulator? It’s a frustrating dance where you are treated like a pawn in their toxic mind games, and your are always the one who is one step behind. But what if I told you there’s a way to turn the tables? What if manipulating a manipulator may not be that hard?

Yes, you read it right. This isn’t just about defending yourself and holding onto your sanity; it’s about mastering the art of subtle manipulation.

In this article, we are going to talk about eight remarkably clever and subtle manipulation tactics that will empower you to regain control and outwit even the most cunning of manipulators. So, are you ready?

Related:



Up Next

Toxic Bosses Unmasked: 20 Warning Signs to Watch For

Toxic Bosses Unmasked: Warning Signs to Watch For

Having a toxic boss can really take a toll on you mentally, and toxic bosses are seriously so horrible. This article is going to help you understand the traits of a toxic boss so that you know which behaviors are not normal and ethical. Read on to know more about the signs of a toxic boss or toxic bosses.

We hear about toxic bosses all the time, but how do you know when a boss is “toxic”? “Toxic” is, of course, a vague descriptor. Are bosses toxic when they throw fits and scream, or only when they break the law?

Or are they toxic when they are immoral or unethical? Are they toxic if they’re nice one day and nasty the next, or just when they make you uncomfortable, nervous, or sick? These are valid questions because these individuals are easy to identify when their behaviors are outrageous; but perhaps less so when their behavior



Up Next

How to Deal With a Compulsive Liar: 9 Effective Compulsive Lying Treatment Techniques for Peaceful Relationships

Tips for Compulsive Lying Treatment and Restoring Trust

Ever met someone who constantly distorts the truth, weaves elaborate tales or downright lies all the time? Dealing with a compulsive liar can be perplexing and frustrating. This is why it is crucial that you learn about compulsive lying treatment and how to deal with compulsive lying in a healthy way. 

Welcome to the world of compulsive liars and compulsive lying, where every story seems too good to be true. These individuals spin elaborate tales effortlessly, blurring the lines between fact and fiction. 

Let’s unravel the psychology behind this intriguing phenomenon by exploring the mysteries surrounding compulsive lying, exploring compulsive liar symptoms, what causes compulsive lying, and most importantly, the available compulsive lying treatment options. 



Up Next

7 Glaring Characteristics Of A Shallow, Superficial Person

Superficial Person: Major Signs Of A Shallow Person

In a world where social media reigns supreme, appearances often take center stage, and the allure of superficiality can be hard to resist. You must have encountered many such people whose charm seems as fleeting as a summer breeze, leaving you wanting for something deeper and more meaningful. Well, you may have come across a superficial person.

Today we are going to take a deep dive into the world of superficial, shallow people, characteristics of a superficial person, and how to deal with a superficial person, so that you know how to distinguish between a genuine person and a not-so-genuine one.

Where facades reign supreme and authenticity takes a backseat, let’s explore how the world of a superficial person looks like.