They say, how people treat you is their karma and how you react is yours. Relationships should always be good for our mental health. Positive thoughts and happiness is always a welcome change in a relationship. The success or failure in a relationship is often dependent on the frequency and depth or the quality and nature of an interaction. You can get affected by either positively or negatively depending upon the nature of a relationship. Here are the 20 signs that tell you that your partner is bad for your mental health:
1_ To continuously second guess the thoughts and feelings: It may be very normal for people to second guess thoughts and feelings in a relationship. However, this may not be normal for someone in a relationship to guess what is happening time and time again. You cannot rationalize behaviour all the time.
2_ Making excuses about the other’s behaviour: This may be normal for many people to actually make excuses for the other person he or she deeply cares for. But it is only a matter of time before the other person feels used and mistreated. The problem with making excuses is that it harms the relationship and enables the other person to continue with negative behaviour without consequence.
3_ Deny the entire right to think and act: This is especially true for couples that have children. One of the spouses is completely disillusioned with the relationship and does not want to stir up the nest for the sake of kids. They just go on to bury their thoughts and emotions.
4_ Unresolved anger or anxiety faced when interacting: If a relationship has been unhealthy for most times, there will be a negative emotion that will be aggravated when there is an interaction. There is a sense of repulsion and dread that seems to pile on with every interaction between two people in a relationship. Consistent negative thoughts often are detrimental for mental peace.
5_ Perennially trying to mend the fences in a unidirectional way: A relationship is almost always a two way street and does not require efforts from one partner all the time. Despite all efforts if the partners are both not willing to work it out both ways, then change can be for a short period of time and behaviour seems to be unaltered for most of the time. Friendships can never be forced. Marriage cannot be either. The two way street has to be fully functional for you to survive in a relationship!
6_ What goes around comes around: Most relationships do not see the light of day, when one of the partners cheats on the other. This may cause emotional agony and a tremendous sense of insecurity in one of the partners.
7_ Lack of each other for support: Looking towards other people for emotional strength and support rather than having each other is a recipe for mental agony in partners.
8_ Lack of empathizers in your company: If your partner cuts off the support network of your friends and family, it bodes ill for your relationship.
9_ A no is not a no: You may be in for trouble in paradise if your partner does not accept a no to what you say.
10_ No positive influence on one another: You may not have influenced each other in a positive way and have not adopted each other’s interest and skills.
11_ There is value for one thing only: If your partner is vocal about his love for you only because of sex or your looks, you may be in for trouble in your relationship. Some partners may also like their spouses or better halves for their ability to earn money.
12_ No sense of relationship security: The relationship has seen many ups and downs and there have been many break ups and reconciliation in the time being. Despite numerous fall outs, you have been not sure of the growth path of the relationship.Find Out Why Your Relationship Didn’t Work .
13_ There is no room for ethics: Your partner indulges in lying every now and then and shows signs of discontent in a relationship or marriage.
14_ Interaction always means a bitter fight: In course of an interaction, you always end up fighting and screaming at each other whenever the two of you are together.
15_ Teasing and taunting takes a dangerous turn: A lot of the times, your partner may just tease and taunt you for your facial expressions or tone of voice. They are more interested in belittling you and breaking your resolve and have little practical efficacy.
16_ Out of sight is out of mind: If your partner is on an international trip, and they reach safely a new place or destination, he or she calls on upon arrival without following it up with repeated calls.
17_ Dismissive of interests and vocations: If your partner is not encouraging of the things you do for a living with only judging the things you do with how important they are to him or her and not you, then you are in for trouble.
18_ Lack of dependability and reliability in times of crisis: In case a close family member falls ill, you cannot depend on your partner in times of emergency.
19_ Stonewalling parenthood: You and your partner flat out refuse to talk about important relationship topics such as having a baby and whether they would make a good parent.
20_ Not a great team: You often wonder if your partner and you make a good team. In times of happiness or distress, you don’t seem to find company in him or her. There are almost no explanations when you are met with unexpected behaviors.
Acrimonious relationships, turbulent affairs and divorces often take a toll on our body and mind. The state of mental health often depends on the length of relationship, the kind of relationship, whether there is any existence of violence (both mental and physical), the presence of children and infidelity. While we may have our apprehensions and are fearful in cutting ties with our partners, it is often times good for the both of you. Being proactive in talking about our mental health in utmost seriousness is a name of the game. You should never compromise or settle with emotional and mental instability.
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