Is your relationship in trouble? Are you fed up of quarrels, insults and blame game? We all know relationships are hard work, but they’re not supposed to be hell. These 21 tell-tale signs spell perdition for even the most committed couples.
Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up. – James Baldwin
The thrill is gone The thrill is gone away The thrill is gone, baby The thrill is gone away – B.B. King
Knowing when it’s right to quit when it’s best to move on, is the key to your emotional survival.
Unless we truly know it’s over, we never want to believe it. The “I’m done” moment is usually recognized in hindsight. Sure, we’ve been hurt, even grievously wounded, but there’s always hope, there’s always faith. When turned towards the positive, hope and faith are powerful forces and miraculous sources of healing, but when employed as mechanisms of denial, they form the pillars of a delusional world, along with their companion—fantasy. Quitting is a dirty word, and it’s drilled into us that we should never give up.
Related article – 6 Zodiac Couples That Have The Worst, Ugly and Most Painful Break Ups
Knowing when it’s right to quit when it’s best to move on, is the key to your emotional survival, and these 21 signs can help you come to terms with the heartbreaking realization that what once was is no more and is never going to be.
21 Signs that your relationship is over and its’s time to Quit
If you can say yes to four or more of these in your relationship, it’s time to close the book and begin a new chapter.
Are you suffering silently, taking your lumps, gritting your teeth, and never directly confronting your partner over behaviors that make you angry? You may think you’re saving the relationship by not speaking up, but you’re actually flooding yourself with resentment that will inevitably overflow.
Don’t fool yourself into believing your reservoir is unlimited. The tipping point will come, and your resentment will influence your own behavior, in ways you may not even be aware of, leading you to get back at your partner and drive the death stake into the relationship. When resentment moves in, communication has moved out, and there’s little hope for reconciliation.
If you or your partner have reached the point of showing disrespect or being dismissive of each other, forget it. There’s no quicker way to erode goodwill and make it easy for someone to stop loving you. People may keep their bodies in the room if they’re treated badly—particularly in the cycle of abuse—but their hearts and minds soon check out, and the relationship becomes a hollow shell.
Marriage expert John Gottman cites contempt as the deadliest of his “four horsemen” (the others are criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling) and claims he can tell if a marriage will fail by watching a couple for just 15 minutes. I know whereof he speaks. Contempt is like liquid nitrogen. A cold look of scorn from the one who’s supposed to warm your heart means you’ve fallen through the ice and you’re drowning in the frozen pond, and no, your partner is not going to save you.
If your relationship is doomed and you don’t know what to do, watch out how to get over
There’s lying to your partner and lying to yourself. Neither protects your partner or the relationship. Pretending you still love someone and speaking false words to mask your betrayal doesn’t insulate your partner from harm; it only delays and magnifies the damage. Similarly, pretending you’re happy and convincing yourself, against your heart and better judgment that everything is OK constitutes an abandonment of self and a withdrawal from reality. If you can’t stay grounded in the here and now, the relationship can’t thrive.