13 Signs You’re The Toxic Partner In The Relationship

Signs You're Toxic Partner In Relationship

Sometimes in a relationship, you might not realize it, but it turns out that you’re the toxic partner, and you are the one who is bringing in all the negativity.

Do all your relationships start happily and enthusiastically but end up becoming toxic and poisonous every time?

Are you stuck in a painful pattern of picking up wrong people?

If that’s the case it is time to work do some self-reflection and work on your own healing to break the cycle. When you start the process of reflection and healing, you might discover that you also have certain unhealthy behavior patterns that attract these people into your life in the first place.

This discovery can be painful initially but awareness is the first step towards solving any problem.

These are 13 things you might be doing to your partner, without even realizing they are toxic:

13 Signs You're The Toxic Partner In The Relationship
13 Signs You're The Toxic Partner In The Relationship

1) You are a control freak.

There is a difference between being confident and assertive and being bossy and controlling.

When you are controlling you act as being the superior one in your relationship and try to dominate or exercise control over your partner. By being controlling you turn the relationship dynamic into one of a power game and a conquest to test your desirability instead of making it an open platform to share love and affection freely.

If you are a control freak, you do not consider relationships as a platform to give and receive love freely and openly but as one of the ways to stroke your ego and enhance your own sense of self.

Related: Eight Mental Abuse Tactics to watch out for

2) You always want things to be your way.

Are you a big fan of “My way or the highway”?

Then sweetheart, let me break it to you, this strategy just doesn’t work if you are looking to build happy, fulfilling, and long-lasting relationships.

We all have our likings and preferences and it’s obvious that we would like to get our way but if you are so adamant about having everything done your way that you use manipulative and controlling techniques to get your partner to do what you like, you are engaging in highly toxic behavior. It will build up heavy resentment and bitterness in your partner over a period of time.

A healthy relationship is not about an individual but it involves teamwork and meeting each other midway.

3) You don’t have boundaries or you don’t respect their boundaries.

The most common form of abuse in relationships is a boundary violation.

“Boundary systems are invisible and symbolic “force fields” that have three purposes: (1) to keep people from coming into our space and abusing us, (2) to keep us from going into the space of others and abusing them, and (3) to give each of us a way to embody our sense of “who we are.” – Facing Codependence, Pia Mellody

If we are not aware of how to uphold our boundaries and how to respect our partner’s boundaries, we would end up being in a toxic co-dependent relationship violating each other’s boundaries instead of being in a healthy interdependent relationship where we respect each other’s boundaries…

An example of sexual boundary violation is not negotiating with your partner about how, when and where they want to get intimate and forcing your desire on them.

4) You want your partner to fit into an image that you like.

You can offer advice to your partner on their life choices but you cannot force them into following your ways.

If you are trying to mold your partner’s thoughts, emotions, identity, and behavior into an image that you like, you are just being highly toxic and manipulative. You are just seeking safety and conformity to make yourself feel better; it has got nothing to do with love or intimacy.

1 thought on “13 Signs You’re The Toxic Partner In The Relationship”

  1. Avatar of Laura

    This describes me in my relationship 100%. Is ugly to read and to acknowledge. I’m disgusted with myself for my of these things that i noticed long before reading this. This however gives me validation that I am the problem, when I’m always so sure Its the other person being ignorant or hard to get along with. I dont understand where it all when wrong in my life, i used to have mature, trusting, adult relationships with a struggle for power where we siply grew with eachother in life and in love. There was no bitterness or jealousy, no cheating ir smothering on either part. Now the past 2 relationships ive been in have been pure hell from the beginning, its like ive been trying to run them off except they just wont go. I think I wont to be left alone maybe im happier that way or feel im being used since neither of them have worked/work and in the good relationships ive had we both pulled our own weight, if anything maybe i was even spoiled a bit. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder ab 10 years ago and come to think of it I haven’t had a decent relationship in all the years since. I admit i am a lose cannon & im constantly telling ANYONE if they dont like things at my house theres the door whenever conflict arises. But i don’t want to deal with drama & no one pays bills but me so….. I definitely need help i know i do, im on psych meds bc i have to be without them i have mania & thats hell on earth bc theres literally no limit to the things ill do & nothing seems big or small untill ive came down & ruined my whole life in a matter of days & cant even account of any of it. Its torture!!!!! What do I do to fix my toxic behavior? I dont know where 2 start?

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