Evil is real. And it lives through you and me. Most of us have encountered really toxic, terrible and bad people in our lives who are harmful and dangerous for others. But what if YOU are the bad person in the story and you don’t even realize it? Here are the signs you are a bad person, and not someone else.
Are you a bad person?
Now I am not saying you are an evil person who wants to be a supervillain and destroy the world. But in the course of life, we often develop certain toxic traits that can be damaging for others, and we are not even aware about it. All of us like to believe that we are inherently a good person. That we are righteous, honest, empathic, helpful and optimistic. However, when we are truly toxic, we may be in denial of our reality and refuse to see what we truly have become – a bad person.
We refuse to see the tell tale signs of a bad person that are right there in front of our faces. We refuse to listen to our friends and family who keep telling us how fast we have changed. We keep telling ourselves that they are wrong. That we are too stressed and that’s why we may be reacting this way. We keep telling ourselves that we are still good deep inside, that we are still the person we used to be – a loving, caring and kind person at heart. But as life would have it, things change. And so do we. Life can change even the best of us. It can break us, corrupt us, transform and distort how we see the world. It’s not your fault that you have turned into someone that you barely recognize, but you can’t shirk the responsibility for being a shitty person either.
I agree that trauma, depression, stress and life circumstances, like a failed relationship or losing a loved one can, completely change who you are inside. But once you realize that you have changed, that you have become a different person – an evil version of your older honest self – you need to take the responsibility to identify the signs you are a bad person and start changing yourself back. To become who you truly are – a well-intentioned individual. But then again there are truly evil people out there – all those narcissists, psychopaths and weirdos that get off on hurting others.
So are you truly a bad person? Or just turning into one? The difference lies in being aware of your behaviors and how they are affecting others.
8 Signs you are a bad person
Do you feel like a bad person? Do you have bad personality traits that spread toxicity in others’ lives? It may be normal for some of us to be a bit skeptical of others, assume the worst in people and behave accordingly. But when our behavior starts to have a toxic influence in others’ lives and affect them negatively, we need to identify bad person signs in ourselves.
Wondering “How do I know if I have a bad personality”? Let us explore some of the most common signs you’re actually a bad person.
1. You find joy in others’ misery
Do you find it funny when someone falls and hurts themselves? Is watching horrible events in the news entertaining for you? If you experience happiness and satisfaction from failures and misfortune of others, then it’s safe to say that you are not really a good person. Known as Schadenfreude, it indicates that you have low self-esteem, high levels of aggression and a strong sense of rivalry. This feeling is especially strong when you watch someone who is more successful than you fail, due to your lack of self-esteem.
Related: The Psychology Of Mean People
2. You have an extreme sense of self-importance
Do you believe that the entire world revolves around you? Do you throw a fit when others’ don’t do what you expect them to? Then it is likely you prioritize yourself unrealistically and have a strong sense of entitlement. You are always focused on your emotions, your moods, your wants and your needs, even at the cost of others’ happiness. You believe you are truly a good person even when you refuse to compromise even on the most negligible comforts. In fact, it is likely that you are a lowkey narcissist. This is one of the most common signs you are a bad person.
3. You are judgemental
Granted most of us judge others, but it is more of an observation and analysis of their behavior than jumping to conclusions. However, people who are toxic judge others instantly without even understanding the other person and their motives properly. But that’s not all. Not only do you judge people, you also make sure to criticize them and let them know how you feel about them. Your rushed judgment of others is often wrong but that is not important to you. For you, it is more important to break the other person’s confidence and self-esteem so that they feel lesser than you. Making wrong assumptions about people and judging them for no reason is one of the signs you are a bad person.
4. You manipulate others
Do you assume the intentions of others and believe them to be true? Do you justify your actions and reactions by blaming the other person? And do you do all of this to shift the power dynamic and take advantage of the other individual? Manipulators influence the mental and emotional states of others for control, power and privileges which may come at the expense of the other person. Not only do they pretend to be someone they are not (in your case – a good person), they make others doubt themselves, create confusion, and even affect the victim’s mental wellbeing.
So if you, consciously or unconsciously, exploit others for your personal gains, then it is definitely one of the most prominent signs you are a bad person.
5. You have no empathy
Answer this: If a close friend is crying and sharing their problems with you, what do you think of?
- “Oh, that’s really sad. They surely don’t deserve this. I wonder how I can help them in this situation?”
- “Oh, that’s so boring. They have dug their own grave. I wonder when they are going to shut up. I am hungry.”
If your answer is option B, then it is clear that you lack empathy and are indeed a terrible person. People low on empathy are insensitive, unsympathetic and uncompassionate. They cannot relate with the pain and suffering of others and hence, do not care what others are going through.
Not only are you incapable of relating to others’ experiences and emotional state, you would rather criticize and blame them for their own misfortune. In fact, you believe you would have dealt with it much better if it happened to you. While lacking empathy doesn’t necessarily make you an evil person, it is certainly one of the more common ways to spot a bad person.
6. You play the victim
Are you an expert in using your tears to find an easy way out of a difficult situation? One of the most basic signs you are a bad person is that you have a victim mentality. People who pretend to be the victim in any given situation tend to be pessimistic and believe that they are incapable of controlling their lives. They have an external locus of control and use unhealthy coping mechanisms to deal with early life trauma. According to a 2015 study, “victim-sensitive individuals” are –
- Less likely to trust others
- More likely to behave uncooperatively socially uncertain situations
- More likely to behave aggressively and destructively
- Make more egoistic choices in social dilemmas
- Less willing to help others in need
- More envious and more jealous
- Less willing to accept apologies from their partners
If these are not the signs you are a bad person, then I don’t know what is, to be honest.
7. You don’t apologize
Saying “sorry” isn’t really your style, is it? As they say, to err is human. Almost all of us screw things up from time to time, but a bad person never admits their faults or mistakes. If you are a toxic individual, you will never see your mistakes or own up to your wrongdoings. You always find someone else to shift the blame and you lack the ability to truly apologize from your heart.
When you apologize to someone, it means you have to admit to yourself that you have made a mistake or wronged someone else. This can make you feel guilty, ashamed and vulnerable. Your poor sense of self-worth prevents you from admitting your mistakes. When you would rather protect your fragile ego than acknowledging that your actions have hurt someone, you become a bad person.
8. You are passive aggressive
Do you express your anger in indirect and subtle ways? Would you rather give someone the silent treatment rather than confronting them? Having a passive aggressive attitude is surely one of the signs you are a bad person. Passive aggressive people are not straight-forward in their interactions and express negative emotions without actually vocalizing what’s really bothering them. If you are passive-aggressive, then you are likely to –
- Attack indirectly
- Be full of resentment
- Oppose others indirectly
- Resist cooperation
- Have a hostile attitude
- Sabotage silently
- Be cynical
- Make a lot of excuses
- Make mistakes intentionally
This indirect toxic behavior is rather harmful for others and this is what makes you a bad person.
Can you identify these signs of toxicity in yourself?
30 More signs you’re actually a bad person
Still not sure if you are a bad person or not? If you are still in denial, then there are some more behaviors that you need to look out for in yourself to determine if you are a toxic individual or truly a good person. Here are more signs you are a bad person –
1. You are sadistic and vindictive
2. You are self-centered and don’t really care about others
3. You are not known to be supportive or helpful
4. You make others feel uncomfortable around you
5. You love to control and dominate others
6. You have a reputation for being a liar and dishonest
7. You never feel guilty or remorseful for hurting others
8. You are rude, cruel and hurt animals
9. You have a difficult time respecting the boundaries of others
10. You refuse to be accountable for your actions
11. You have a negative and pessimistic attitude
12. You are always worried about everything
13. You love to create drama and chaos
14. You love to gossip and talk behind people’s backs
15. You nag and complain about everything in life
16. You are not really successful in life
17. You constantly need attention
18. You lack self-awareness
19. You are greedy and take advantage of others
20. You lose your temper easily and lack self-control
21. You have a superiority complex
22. You are addicted to substances and alcohol
23. You threaten or manipulate people when they don’t do what you want
24. You hold onto grudges and struggle to let go
25. You always need to be right
26. You are known to be a taker, not a giver
27. You dominate every conversation you are part of
28. You don’t have any friends left because you have exploited all of them
29. You don’t believe in forgiveness
30. You are a sexist and racist
These are some of the most observable and common signs you are a bad person.
Being ‘bad’ is not cool
Do you feel surprised by the traits and signs mentioned in the list above? Can you recognize most of them in yourself? Often trauma can change us as a person and make us do things that may hurt others. Moreover, certain personality disorders can make us develop certain ‘evil’ traits.
We don’t necessarily become bad intentionally or just to always use others. There are different levels of toxicity in people and when we are aware of our habits and traits, we can often change ourselves to become better.
If you are struggling to overcome certain toxic behaviors, then talking to a therapist can be helpful.