15 Red Flags Of Manipulative People

Red Flags Manipulative People

Red Flags of Manipulative People that you observe when you are in a romantic association with a narcissist or a psychopath.

Increasingly this world is becoming a stage show of human beings lacking humanity. And there is no dearth of manipulative people around us. Manipulative people conjure up their tricks to get the best out of you. They are like vampires sucking your life out.

Psychopaths and narcissists are quite popular (infamous) and many phenomenal studies have been conducted on their behavior, character traits, and relationship dynamics. Manipulative behaviors are a crucial trait of a psychopath alongside superficial charm, inflated self-image and  As you must already have experienced the abuse by one or the other narcissist, you are here to make sure your intuition is striking the right cords.

Related: 5 Things Sociopaths and Narcissists Say to Make You Feel Crazy

Spotting manipulative people requires introspection and self-awareness on your part. Even if you are slightly aware of the damage they are gradually doing to your psychological health, you will inspect further to look for signs which might be out of the place.

The signs given below are ones you usually observe when you are in a romantic association with a narcissist or a psychopath.

15 Red Flags of Manipulative People:

15 Red Flags Of Manipulative People

1. Showers you with love, praise, and attention:

It feels absolutely amazing to be praised, complimented, and attended to by the person who loves you. But if the attention at times feels overwhelming and out of the place, without any rational basis you must know that something is not quite right. These people will often lose no chance to flatter you. These behaviors on their part will definitely make you feel wanted but check if they sometimes make you feel uncomfortable or not.

Related: The Toxic Attraction Between An Empath And A Narcissist

2. Displays excessive affection on the public platform:  

They will make frequent contact with you, as much as they can. They will text you dozens if not hundreds a day. It is as if you are the center of their world. They even plaster your Facebook pages with poems, songs, and other posts meant to display their intense affection for you.

3. Favoritizes you as their soul mate: 

Even though it is just a way for them to gain your confidence but you never suspect their intention. You believe that they are truly your soulmate as they create an illusion in their mind that they are your perfect partner. Nothing can be as ideal as this person and you feel lucky to have won their hearts.

4. Devalues you through comparisons with others:

Psychopaths usually alternatively shift from an idealization phase to a devaluation phase within the blink of an eye. They will once see the best in you and in the next circumstance, they will find faults in you and constantly keep comparing you with their friends, exes, and family member. These are enough to throw you off the cliff because your illusion of this person being your ‘dream partner’ is slowly eroding off.

5. Withholds attention to trample your self-esteem: 

After the act of love, bombing is over they will withhold their affection and love that they initially showered on you. They seem disinterested, indifferent and aloof from you and in the relationship. This directly hampers your self-esteem because you start finding faults with yourself. You believe it is your inability to love and understand them that is driving them away from you.

6. Lies and excuses galore:

They start to make excuses for everything, starting from them failing to keep up with their words to make unforgivable mistakes. They are never responsible for anything wrong they did. You are always the guilty one for things that they have done.

7. Belittles you, insults you with a condescending attitude:

They will mock at your sensitivity by pointing out how hypersensitive and over-reactive you are about everything when you try to express some action of them which hurt you. They will even lambast you about your mannerisms. For them, your achievements and your potentials will become a laughing stock.

Related: Identifying Emotional Abuse before it Happens.

50 thoughts on “15 Red Flags Of Manipulative People”

  1. Your point #22 reads, in part, “…will likely be labeled jealous, bipolar, an alcoholic, or some other nasty smear.”

    As an alcoholic with bipolar disorder, I find this characterization offensive. How is an illness a “nasty smear”? I doubt you would have said something like, “…labeled diabetic, or some other nasty smear.” Or “epileptic” or “anemic” or most other illness.

    Please consider that alcoholism, bipolar disorder, and a large number of other afflictions are illnesses. They are diagnoses, not “nasty smears.”

  2. If only I had read this before I tore apart my marriage to go live with a psychopath who claimed he was my soul mate, and that we would be together forever! Now all I do is cry for all I did wrong and how I hurt my husband for an evil piece of shit!

  3. #7 is not necessarily a red flag. The way I was raised I’m the kind of person who yawns when my car blows a tire while driving down the highway. I’ve definitely gotten in trouble for NOT freaking out when things got crazy but it’s the way my entire family acts. /shrug

    Only a few of these things are red flags on their own. Three or more, sure.

    #10 is also a sign of a possessive, controlling, codependent manipulator. So it goes both ways.

    Also, a number of these things are victim blaming results, not causes. If you are nervous around the psycho you have to accept responsibility for your own feelings and reactions. It is not the manipulators fault that you react the way they are trying to train you.

  4. 23 of these 30 points plus arrogance as mention to be put on the new list my last partner and mother to my child has. She asked me in a sms conv now after 2 months free of her after she ended it if I am not sorry now that I dident give her the attention she needed for over a halv year… Responded with: No, I did that but you choose not to see it , gave you all my time and effort and put you prio 1 , in the process I lost my selfworth and selfrespect and now I started to get it back.

  5. I ended a 4 year relationship once and for all today thanks to your articles that have helped me to see what had happened to me, which is exactly as described in this list and more. Thank you.

  6. I’d love to receive the updated list. Thank you for such a great and insightful article. Even though logically I know I’m not the crazy one, their behavior is absolutely crazy-making & it’s easy to get lost in all the manipulation.

  7. This articulate and explain some of my intimate encounters and very informative, but these types of people with these behaviors are so prominent in society now ugh. Thank you for this, the more I read the more I learn how to shield my self from the types of behaviors.

  8. Donna … I just want to say that realise the seriousness of this issue and realise that they do not deserve a second chance in any way. Good luck to you.

  9. Amazing amazing write up. I was very unfortunate to have experienced all of this and this article help me understand that the person was really a a psychopath .. I wish I knew back then bt I’m glad I know now.. It’s very easy to feel lost and terrible for a normal person when you are in run with a psychopath. M glad I survived.

  10. I’m 53 and my whole life has been with manipulative people. 35 years of marriage and I finally woke up when he attacked our 34 year old son.

  11. Almost 20 years later, I still have to work on the hypervigilance. My mind files away inconsistencies like most people file away the number of smiles their love gives in a day. Good news is, I don’t act on those inconsistencies anymore. It was hard, soul stripping work to figure out my part in allowing myself to end up with someone like this. Don’t know if I’ll ever be 100% again, but most days I’m at 90%. I can live with that today.

  12. This article is very insightful. I also found the link on gaslighting to be equally helpful. It’s just unfortunate the author had to undermine her own message with her display of Fox News Derangement Syndrome.

  13. It is such comprehensive guide that I just realized that two other men in my life after my psychopath husband were psychopaths as well. My hubs lured me to come back to him. I came back and things were worse, much worse. I felt that my life is ended because even police could do nothing as he using Neurolingistic Programming quite successfully and feels no remorse about it. Thankfully after 4 visit police took me seriously. He is out.
    I feel drained to the point I can barely function.
    Thank you for this.

  14. I am struggling to get out of a three year relationship with a narcissistic psychopath. I have been believing I am the one who is wrong, but after reading these 30 red flags I can see he fits them all. He even left me off and on when I was on chemo for cancer and made me feel it was my fault. He was with another woman (a stranger) while I had my debulking operation and recovery. Now Mr. Charming is returning home this spring from his winter trips and wants me again. Only the loneliness keeps me talking to him. Thank you for these 30 red flags, I will read them daily for strength.

    1. I’m in a similar situation to you so I understand what you’ve been going through. I too was in a relationship with a man who turned out to be a covert narc for almost 3 years. The relationship almost cost me my life, due to massive bilateral pulmonary embolism caused by long distance flying. His only response to the news that I was in ICU was “it most have been really embarrassing to make such a spectacle of yourself at the airport when you collapsed”.
      We split just over a month ago and he’s already moved on to his new supply. Something he kept doing on the side even when he was with me while we lived in different places. I’d constantly find him on dating sites, exes would be texting and calling his phone when we were together etc. I get the feeling of loneliness. While I was with him I cut myself off from friends and family, because I would either get accused of cheating (with male friends) or of not paying him enough attention.

  15. Nick you are absolutely right! I became a victim when I am not one and I let the man in question treat me very badly. But it isn't always as cut and dried as that because the people in question are very clever at getting what they want. XXX

    1. You didn’t “let” him treat you badly. He just did. Saying you “let” him do it implies that you in some way made him do it. You didn’t. It is all on him. The only reason you stayed is you loved him and guess what? We’re supposed to love our romantic partners. YOU were doing the right thing. HE wasn’t. If it took you a while to get out, that’s only because you didn’t understand what was happening, which was the whole point of his treatment of you anyway–to confuse you, encourage you to doubt yourself, etc. Again, NOT YOUR FAULT.

      I’m so tired of idiots who blame everyone but the perp when someone does something wrong. I do understand and acknowledge that even people who do bad things are still people and may sometimes be operating from a place of trauma. But that’s not true of psychopaths. They were born that way. And even when you’ve got someone who’s emotionally/mentally disabled by trauma, THEY are still the ones doing the bad thing. No one else.

  16. This is a great list to read prior to going on any dating sites. It will make you more alert to any scammers out there as these signs are many of the things they do. All the emotions felt after encountering these people even though you never met them are so true. I know from experience after being scammed myself. Always follow your instincts!!

  17. The only control others have over you is what you allow them to have,everyone try's to get their way some don't fight it others do.its the ongoing battle of life.its a problem when someone says they were manipulated and controlled ,they take the victim role.but if you think about it they allowed it.

  18. Thank you for this list. I ignored ALL the red flags and warning signs and was left emotionally battered and bruised. But it was a huge learning curve for me and I have changed beyond recognition and have a wonderful, kind man now and a more healthy relationship with my narcissistic mother. XXX

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