You can never argue with a narcissistic person and expect to win. Despite how much logic or explanations you have up your sleeve, arguing with a narcissist is a waste of time.
Narcissists are toxic people who love to argue and make others feel miserable. So they are the only one who gains from arguments involving narcissists. Narcissistic people are hardwired to believe that the world owes them everything. They think they are entitled to your attention, emotions, time and self-worth. They believe they are even entitled to criticize and abuse you. If you find yourself arguing with a narcissist, resist the urge to defend your pride, let go of your ego, and simply walk away.
Narcissists feed off negativity
Narcissists love feeling superior by putting others down. They love criticizing, humiliating, insulting, manipulating and gaslighting others to feed their brittle egos. When a narcissistic person realizes that you are mentally and emotionally vulnerable, they take the opportunity to break you further. They love the attention and the power of controlling you and the conversation. This is why arguing with a narcissist is a lost battle.
Be careful about what you reveal to a narcissist. When you find yourself in an argument with a narcissist, do not try to justify or explain yourself. Do not engage with them. The only way to win and maintain your sanity is to not give them any attention and just walk away.
Narcissists use targeted questions, snarky remarks and sarcasm to make you defensive and explain yourself. You will feel as if you need to justify your words, thoughts, emotions, behavior and actions to them even though you haven’t done anything wrong. Once you fall into their trap and start giving explanations, they will start gaslighting you and make you doubt your own self.
A narcissist is never interested in listening to you, they are only interested in proving themselves superior to you. They want to dominate. They want to promote themselves, they are not interested in clear and open communication.
Reasons to stop arguing with a narcissist
Do you often find yourself arguing with narcissists? If you frequently engage in arguments with a narcissist, then here’s why you will never win and why you need to stop wasting your valuable time on them.
1. A narcissistic person will never understand you
No matter how hard you try to use logic or justify yourself in an argument, a narcissist will never try to understand your perspective or opinions. Narcissistic individuals do not give a damn about showing you empathy or understanding what you are experiencing. Your perspective does not matter to them. No matter how hard you try, you can’t make them care. So it’s best not to engage in any heated discussion with a narcissist. It will only leave you feeling emotionally fatigued and drained.
Narcissists are programmed to be abusive as they lack empathy and compassion. They are hypersensitive individuals who will feel offended at everything and will never understand your point of view or needs regardless of how clear you make yourself. So instead of arguing with a narcissist, make sure to protect your emotional wellbeing, save your energy and protect your heart from their abuse.
2. Narcissists shift attention and blame on you
Narcissists are masters in deflecting everything and shifting blame. They never take responsibility for anything. It’s always someone else’s fault when something goes wrong, even if they are the only ones to blame. A narcissistic person will be quick to divert attention from themselves and put the focus on you. In case you have managed to catch them lying or called them out on their BS, then everything will get deflected out of nowhere and you will be made the culprit. All the blame will suddenly fall on you. They do this simply to confuse, overwhelm and irritate you and make you move away from the main topic.
Read also: 5 Types of Narcissistic Blame Shifting
3. Narcissists are bullies
A narcissistic person can go to great lengths to bully and intimidate you. You can only win against a narcissist if they want to make you believe that you have won. They never shy away from fighting dirty. From name-calling to low-blows, they can use anything in their arsenal to put you down. They may even resort to physical violence to win the argument. When you try to defend and prove yourself, the narcissist will accuse you of initiating the argument and make you seem like an emotional person who overreacts to even the smallest thing. The truth is there is simply no point in arguing with a narcissist.
4. Narcissistic people are expert liars
Even if you present facts and evidence, they will deny everything and confidently lie on your face making you doubt yourself. Narcissists are experienced pathological liars and they will lie about anything just to have the higher ground. And just to make things more interesting, the narcissist will gaslight you to make you doubt and question yourself. They will make you confused about what actually happened so that you cannot stand tall in front of them. A narcissistic person can manipulate any situation and anyone and make it seem like they are the victims and make you look like the abuser instead.
5. You can’t win against their bullsh*t
You can’t use logic, facts and justification when arguing with a narcissist. Narcissists do not argue in a mature or healthy manner. They fight ugly and dirty as their main goal is to break you and win. You can never have a real or deep conversation with a narcissistic person. There is no scope for a mature discussion or dealing with an argument in a calm and healthy manner. They will make every discussion emotional, confusing and aggressive. You just can’t win with a narcissist unless you stoop down to their level. Sooner than later, the discussion will consist only of illogical and meaningless rants. At times, you won’t even understand what they are talking about.
You can’t beat a narcissistic person at their own game
Although it’s natural for us to react and defend ourselves when someone is falsely accusing and blaming us, it is crucial that you resist the temptation when it comes to arguing with a narcissist. They are born to be toxic and negative. They are master abusers and manipulators. As they are aware of their feeble ego, they can go to any length to create ego-boosting sources.
Once you understand the reasons to avoid arguing with a narcissistic person, you will figure out your own way to deal with the situation in a more positive way. Instead of arguing with them, stay true to yourself and your values. When you find out how to stop arguing with a narcissist and focus on your own mental health and life, you will be able to develop a more healthier and happier life for yourself.
Read also: How To Handle Narcissistic Abuse