The sociopath will work hard to at first groom you, then once they have ownership and control over you, will ensure that they maintain possession of you.
The sociopath manipulates through
- Mirroring you
- Compulsive lying
- Fake love
- Playing victim
The sociopath controls you with fear
- False allegations
- Leading you to believe that you are worthless, and not worthwhile
- Telling lies
- Isolating you (either from people, financial isolation, stopping you from working) – all of these things create dependency
The sickness saga
The sociopath will most commonly pull the most elaborate sickness saga tale, when they are either about to be caught in a lie, or when they have been caught in a lie.
The sociopath already knows that you are a kind, caring empathetic person. They checked this with you, when they first interviewed you, and decided that you were the right person for them. I.e. you can offer them what they want. (Be a source of supply). However, after the initial mirroring and seduction stage has passed. Once you have been groomed and captured, you might object to being controlled. To cope with being with a sociopath you become either
- Brain dead
If you decide to leave, or the sociopath thinks that there is a chance for you to do so, they often pull the sickness saga trick. Sometimes they can pull the sickness tale in the beginning while playing victim, but this is not usual. As they would not know how you would respond. You might not want to be with someone who is sick. The sociopath will assess you, and find out who you are.
Faking sickness will almost always create a positive reaction from the victim
It would be a heartless person, who was hard and not forgiving towards someone who is sick. The sociopath knows this. It is their life to observe, and monitor other people. They are experts at understanding human responses.
The sociopath is without conscience, and a compulsive pathological liar. They will literally do and say anything to get what they want. They do this to get their own way.
It is being without conscience that the sociopath can fake illnesses that nobody in their right mind would fake. The sociopath is also attracted to drama. The sociopath enjoys drama. He/she enjoys drama as it creates what the sociopath does not have themselves ’emotions’.
As the sociopath has no conscience and thinks nothing of lying to you, to tell you what you want to hear, they also have no conscience when telling you of the most awful illnesses. Cancer is a favourite, as it elicits a powerful response from the victim. No matter how angry you are towards the sociopath, once they tell you this, you feel sorry for them. You feel that they might die. You then start to make excuses for their behaviour.
Swift change from perpetrator to victim
By elaborate claims to illnesses such as cancer, the sociopath very quickly
- Deflects attention from what they have done
- Gains sympathy, care and compassion
- Has your full attention
- Makes you feel ‘responsible’ for them
- Becomes the victim – and forces you to now become the carer
- Has a ‘get out of responsibility’ card
Compulsive pathological lying
As you are likely not a sociopath reading this (you might be, but I am assuming you are not), once the sociopath starts the lie, it begins to spiral. Always remember that –
TO THE SOCIOPATH, PROTECTING THE LIE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR FEELINGS. THE SOCIOPATH WILL ALWAYS PROTECT THE LIE.
There will never be a point where they will feel a pang of conscience, to confess the lie. So they continue, and the lie spirals, and snowballs, getting bigger and bigger – until they become the lie.
The sociopath will now become the sickness
Once the sociopath has started with the lie, this becomes part of their persona. They will be elaborate with their lies, so that you would not suspect that it is in fact a lie. After all, you wouldn’t think that anybody would fake an illness such as cancer? … a person without a conscience would. A sociopath would. The sociopath will do anything to retain control and will use any method to do so.
The sociopath will not just use the words ‘I have cancer’ they will now become the cancer. So you will hear fully descriptive sagas of their visits to the hospital, their appointments or treatments. If you offer to go with them, there will be some glib excuse why you can’t.
If you come close to discovering the truth
If you come close to discovering the truth, your own empathy, and kindness will now be used against you. The sociopath will display moral outrage, at how you are